This Week in Milford

August 21, 2021

I Love Ducey

Now’s the time all America waits for; that one evening each week where we all sit down to watch the latest hijinks from America’s favorite wacky redhead sports reporter. Wacky… redhead… sports… reporter…

Wait, what?

Okay, Whigham, start ‘splainin’.* As for the rest of you gentle readers, why do you suppose Marjie’s a redhead today?

  1. She noticed John Jawor had dyed his hair yesterday and didn’t want him to feel self-conscious so she dyed hers in solidarity.
  2. She’s going to cosplay as Velma Dinkley at Central City Comic-Con this coming weekend.
  3. The Milford Star has a one-blonde-per-staff quota and since Heather Burns has all but gone through new hire orientation, Marjie got the hint that she’s old news.

You know, maybe it is time for new blood at the Star. When your sports reporter starts writing on her laptop screen with a ballpoint pen, you gotta think she might no longer be the sharpest knife in the drawer. When all she can do is regurgitate the lists of player names Gil spouts to her, someone who knows how to use the Google is at the next level. When she dares contradict the all-powerful Gil Thorp when he wants to publicly shame a small-time golf hustler, she might want to polish up that résumé.

Tune in next week when Heather Burns spruces up her new desk in the Star newsroom while a mysterious redhead applies for a night shift waitressing job at Janet’s Diner. When Maureen asks, “Hey, hon, you look familiar. What’s your name?” the mysterious redhead replies “Margo. Margo Duchesne.”

*Contrary to popular belief, Desi never said to Lucy “you got some ‘splainin’ to do!”


  1. Contrary to popular belief, Desi never said to Lucy “you got some ‘splainin’ to do!”

    Also, Cary Grant never said “Judy, Judy, Judy..”

    Comment by Moon Mullins — August 21, 2021 @ 9:09 pm

  2. Yeah. By Ducey sayin’ that shes “ impressed with her detective work”, she’s proving that she’s as clueless as Gil. I’m surprised Gil knows how to use a smart phone too. Please put this dog turd of a story down and move on to football

    Comment by franku2016 — August 21, 2021 @ 9:16 pm

  3. Ducey is right about this not being a story though

    Comment by franku2016 — August 21, 2021 @ 9:18 pm

  4. Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole. But Gil Thorp was and is.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — August 21, 2021 @ 9:22 pm

  5. Good call, JT!

    Comment by teenchy — August 22, 2021 @ 7:20 am

  6. Oh God, Thorpiverse. Do you honestly think our readers fell off the Gil wagon yesterday???? No duh, Marjie, you really can’t take a guy to court who practically nickeled and dimed his competition, let alone make a story out of it. True, he cheated on his handicap but about the only thing Milford CC can do is bar him from the club. He still keeps coming back, then you have a felony AND a story.
    As Frank mentioned, shoot this horse puh-llllleeeassseee.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — August 22, 2021 @ 2:52 pm

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