This Week in Milford

August 28, 2021

He Made Her an Offer She Could Refuse

The transformation is well under way. Heather has swapped her slightly orange-tinged hair color for Marjie’s light blonde. Now she just needs to get her ponytail lopped off and shaped into a bob and then, after a visit to Milford Opticians, no one will know the difference.

Of course Gil sees Heather’s new role as a blessing in disguise; he’ll neither have to provide her a concessions stipend nor defend to the Mudlark Booster Club his decision to put a woman on his football coaching staff. Still that doesn’t stop him from trying to hit her up for volunteer work. “Are you kidding?” Heather must be thinking. “Your pay is so bad, you not only have to teach little kids golf in the summertime, you have to go stock shelves at Target afterwards!” (Seriously, never wear a red polo shirt when shopping at Target.)

Thankfully we can put this dud of a summer plot behind us – a plot that, except for the writing out of Marjie Ducey, was as boring and predictable as the high-five from Gil that Heather can return with her eyes closed.

What a poor sendoff for Marjie, huh? I’m gonna rectify that in a separate post.


  1. In P2 it looks like Heather has already learned a valuable lesson from Marjie. Act all coy and flirty when dealing with Gil and you’ll stay on his good side and get all the inside scoops. Including each season’s starting lineup.

    Comment by MopMan — August 28, 2021 @ 12:17 pm

  2. I used to fly with a guy named Jerry Thibeault. Another pilot, seeing Jerry’s name written down for the first time, observed “That seems like an awful lot of trouble to get ‘tee-bo.” And this summer plot seems like an awful lot of trouble to drop Marjie Ducey from the strip. We’ve brought Heather back from college, run off a predator, speculated about her coaching, re-introduced industrial solvents, and probably more things I haven’t thought of. So the obvious question is why. Haley v Baxendale or Wally Lamb could be wheeled in to solve a problem then vanish again, but what’s going to happen with Heather, who’ll be remaining in Mfnrd? A scandal in the Valley League? A conflict with Gil? Marty Lune getting bent out of shape over a journalist helping Gil analyze game films? I don’t know– the map ends here too.

    Comment by vaganova — August 28, 2021 @ 1:11 pm

  3. Rubin really pissed away this one. Our golf shark didn’t even send anyone to the poor house. Too bad Monmouth pops didn’t lose the house to him. Then all of Heather’s “digging “ would be more justified. But it got her a job! Oh, ok. And Gil has really become a stupid fucker in the Rubin era.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — August 28, 2021 @ 3:13 pm

  4. Snore. Wake me when this shit is over and we get the scoop on the next 5-star athlete from a single alcoholic parent household that drops into Gil or Mimi’s lap without either of them having to develop Jack shit, as usual. PP was a pain in the ass but she sure didn’t get any of her athletic skills from Mr and Mrs coaches prima Donna

    Comment by franku2016 — August 28, 2021 @ 4:14 pm

  5. And these constant high fives are stupid af

    Comment by franku2016 — August 28, 2021 @ 5:17 pm

  6. […] action today with little dialogue to snark, so let’s get all Heather Burns-y and study the […]

    Pingback by Minor Threat? | This Week in Milford — September 18, 2021 @ 6:54 pm

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