This Week in Milford

September 25, 2021

Where Were You the Day The Bucket Got Its Liquor License?

teenchy here. Dunno where robmize is. I’ve got a busy afternoon and evening ahead of me so I’m not gonna wait any longer and put up a double post. I’ll be traveling next weekend so hopefully rob, or Ned, or tdrew can cover for me then. Heck, maybe even timbuys could pop back in for a cameo. (Tim, you out there bud? Miss you here in the rotation.) Anyhoo, on with the show.

September 24, 2021

No clue who Chance’s blocker Gordon Achebe is IRL (any relation to the famed author of Things Fall Apart?) but Kimberly Gordon-Achebe is Program Director of the University of Maryland Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Fellowship and consultant of the Programs for Assertive Community Treatment (PACT)-child division.  There was a Gordon Achebe on the team last year, but he looked a little different back then. This year’s Gordon isn’t about picking sides in a QB controversy but more about covering for his triple-threat backfield teammate, Chance Macy.

Chance has been around since 2019 so we really shouldn’t be learning much of anything new about him. He lives with his grandparents; his parents haven’t been in the picture and he doesn’t hold them in high regard. He has (or at least had) anger management issues. He got plenty of exposition during that season while Chet Ballard tried to smear him to win his stepson some playing time and his love.

Heather was in Iowa while all this was happening, so it’s news to her. Maybe she should take that superfluous finger off her temple and use it to Google some of Marjie’s old articles from the past two seasons before she decides it’s news for Star readers. Off to The Bucket for postgame festivities…

September 25, 2021

… and a surprise appearance from Kianna Bello, who apparently had back-to-back sports practices but got to catch the Mudlark football game. Guessing volleyball practice came first; there’s no way Mimi would schedule an event that conflicted with Gil’s! No, Mudlark sports reign supreme, and Mudlark football reigns the supremest. It doesn’t take an Alexa Watson to figure out that Kianna will be dropping gymnastics quicker than you can say “I’ll take my Bucket Daiquiri in a go-cup, please and thank you.”

Passed out face-down in a booth isn’t a good look on a star athlete. Either learn to hold your liquor or stop burning the candle at both ends. All that’s missing from this amusing scene is a puddle of drool coming from Kianna’s mouth.


  1. I’ll cover next Saturday if need be. But I’m like Teenchy, Tim, I miss you and hope you’re OK. I’d love to have you do the piece because I personally like what you write. I miss our conversations when I was bitching about the Colts(ha). Seriously, if somebody else wants to do it, I have no ego. We team around here. Let me know one way or the other because I’m fine either way.

    Your final sentence in the second post was funny, Teenchy. Yeah, looks like Kianna Bello is afflicted with Homer Simpson Deposits or will be.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — September 25, 2021 @ 2:35 pm

  2. Kianna is addicted to Red Bull and uppers and this is what happens when that shit wears off. Either that, or she’s waiting for something in this strip to happen and simply fell asleep from boredom

    Comment by franku2016 — September 25, 2021 @ 2:59 pm

  3. Nodding off when you’re exhausted is one thing, but she laid on the table and curled up to get comfy. Besides the drool, I would have added her holding a teddy bear.

    Comment by MopMan — September 25, 2021 @ 6:25 pm

  4. 1. Okay, once again Brother Hitorque will have to deliver a free lecture on JRN-102 or “Basic News Writing”… For starters, that quote might work as an ending, but *NEVER* as a lede unless Heather is writing an exclusive profile just on Chance the Gardener… But we all know that isn’t her assignment; she’s supposed to cover the damn game which also includes talking to the losing team’s coach at the bare minimum… Not that she’d have much space for journalistic flair — Her budget for the Milford-Oakwood game is what, 6-8 inches? Don’t forget the Milford Street Journal needs a little space for all the other high schools in the region playing tonight, along with state/national sports stories… The entire sports page can’t just be about the Mudlarks…

    1a. Someone already made the obligatory “Things Fall Apart” reference, so I’ll skip it here…

    2. I’d like to think that Chance the Gardener wolfed down his Wendy’s Baconator and bounced out of The Bucket because fresh off his natural hat trick tonight he’d be in the mood to find a girl and a six-pack and “git bizzayy”… But because this is Milford, we all know he’s rushing out to get a good seat so he can spectate the Friday night meeting of the Milford Public Library Board…

    3. I’ve seen some party girls before, but if Miss Bello can go from zero to passed out piss drunk in 30 minutes she deserves a standing ovation…

    3a. And yes I hope for Rubin’s sake Bello has a drinking/drug problem… Because I’m in no mood to waste my time with yet another Mudlark athlete who has troubles with time management… It’s a tired and stale plot device and should have been permanently retired after that kid from the baseball team had to spend all his evenings after practice in the library just to do his schoolwork, THEN he worked the night shift as a janitor cleaning out offices and he also had to juggle his relationship with his girlfriend and SOMEHOW HE STILL FOUND TIME TO CAMPAIGN FOR A SPOT ON AND EVENTUALLY SERVE ON THE PUBLIC LIBRARY BOARD (!!)

    Comment by Hitorque — September 25, 2021 @ 6:57 pm

  5. Hitorque…instead of chasin HS girl tail, CM could doin something like PP did and go home and watch Lawrence Welk or Hee Haw reruns with his grandparents to keep him on the non blowtop track too

    Comment by franku2016 — September 25, 2021 @ 7:40 pm

  6. Hey Gordo, take it easy on that neck machine. Soon your neck will be wider than your head!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — September 26, 2021 @ 10:31 am

  7. TEENCHY— thanks for covering for me– I’ve been camping all weekend in Upper Michigan and had too much to do preparing for it to remember to ask you. I knew you were up to the task! I’ll fill in another day if need be.

    Comment by robmize2013 — September 27, 2021 @ 8:53 am

  8. […] hypnotize her into being able to juggle volleyball and gymnastics without neglecting her studies or passing out on a table. Nah, that one will require the […]

    Pingback by Tevin Claxton, Enabler | This Week in Milford — October 30, 2021 @ 3:13 pm

  9. […] kinda bombed, set the stage for Chance Macy’s better-received speech. As soon as Kianna Bello passed out at The Bucket, someone could’ve told her to stop burning the candle at both ends, which would’ve kept […]

    Pingback by Thanks for Coming to TEDx Milford. Now Zip It. | This Week in Milford — December 11, 2021 @ 3:43 pm

  10. […] and lets the volunteers roll in. Gordon obviously has confidence in his strength and he already has experience talking to Heather. He’ll be all set to field her softballs about his role in adding muscle to […]

    Pingback by I Kinda Thought He’d Put Me in the Goon Squad | This Week in Milford — January 26, 2022 @ 10:38 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: