This Week in Milford

October 11, 2021

Goshen Time. Sorry, No Song For That.

Filed under: actual action, football, shadow figures — nedryerson @ 5:57 am

Look, The Great Chance Macy doesn’t want to talk about college and which programs might or might not be recruiting him. If he wants to you to know what he envisions as his future in athletics, he’ll tell you. At this moment, he’s concentrating on the next game against Goshen, so back off, Tevin. Also, check out that shadow person! It could be one of those creepy horror movie nuns! Halloween is approaching. Is Rubin gonna go John Carpenter on us? Of course not. Nothing exciting will happen. It’s just more dithering high school students.

Let’s get to the action, shall we? Goshen is in Carolina Blue unis, just like the last opponent. Can you imagine how nerdy the colorists would have to be to maintain a coloring bible for the different Valley Conference teams? Of course they wouldn’t do that. It’s enough for them to interpret the narration correctly and keep not male everybody red.

Goshen’s ball carrier is levitating over the goal line for a score. Why he was diving for the pylon, we can’t know. Goshen jumped on top. Will the Great Chance Macy go beast mode and power the Mudlarks. Nobody cares.

Happy Columbus Day.

10 Comments »

  1. Yep. Milford’s 3rd game of the season (even though most schools in the country are comin up on week six or seven), and they have yet to play any team that does not have UNC colors. I think Rub-Whig should just stick to the B/W version. And Macy should tell Tevin “…and hey buddy!…if you concentrated on where the hits might be comin’ from as much as you do tryin’ to get into what’s-her-name’s knickers, you might not have to listen to Spiller’s bullshit after a game…”

    Comment by franku2016 — October 11, 2021 @ 6:43 am

  2. Again with the Canadian footballs?! Can Whigham photo-reference a football, please? The stripes do NOT go all of the way around the ball in the United States, they are only on the side with the laces!

    Goshen is good? Rubin, Rubin, Rubin… c’mon man, does tradition mean nothing to you? Goshen is NEVER good.

    Comment by billytheskink — October 11, 2021 @ 7:29 am

  3. 1. Let us all laugh at the most hilarious Crimson Tide!

    2. We don’t hardly ever hear about any of Chance the Gardener’s stats but I guess he’s getting a consistent 150+ rushing yards per game and say 75+ rec yards per game, and that’s just to get mid-major recruiters sniffing in his direction… I guess my question is if Macy’s THAT good and he’s been a three-year varsity starter, why have we suffered through all this bullshit storyline drama from the quarterbacks for three seasons??

    3. Way to miss the forest for the trees, Chance… Just because you’re waiting for that call from Ara Parseghian doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least be entertaining the offers that have come in so far…

    4. Which reminds me… Heather Tafoya-Visser-Kolber-Salters-Cohn almost certainly still has Kirk Ferentz and most of the Iowa coaching staff on her cell phone contacts list… You see where I’m goin’ with this??

    5. The only sense I can make is either Chance the Gardener’s grades are utter shit or he thinks that once he goes to college they won’t let him play Madden ’22 anymore (yes I know it’s Boyd Spiller who is the hardcore competitive Madden ladder fanboi, just work with me here)…

    6. But I can make ZERO fucking sense of Chance’s grandparents sending all his college recruiting letters direct to Gilberto Freaking Tharpe like it’s any of his goddamned business… Unless of course his grandparents are those types that believe higher education is sinful blasphemous godless witchcraft heretical paganism and anyone who partakes in it is hellbound…

    7. I don’t remember the exact years, but I could swear high schools and colleges have used the wraparound white stripe ball at some point in my childhood… Maybe the calendar year in the Milfordverse is perpetually stuck on circa 1980?

    Comment by hitorque — October 11, 2021 @ 8:03 am

  4. What’s Chance’s 40 time? Oh, 4.7. Yeah, Millikin would love to have you. I like how ath-uh-letes can’t concentrate on 2 things at once. I gotta block out college cuz, golly we’re playing Goshen! Studies? Block it out. Goshen. There’s a stop sign up ahead. Ignore! We play Goshen on Friday! GOSHEN! GOSHEN! GOOOOOHHHHSSSSHHHEEEHHHNNNN!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 11, 2021 @ 10:22 am

  5. Do all scores in Milford require a dive over the goal line? There is no one within sight but he can’t run into the end zone.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 11, 2021 @ 4:39 pm

  6. Starting to get the “this is Marty’s Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” vibe from this. The Mudlarks play the same team every week; they just keep changing the letter decal on their helmets.

    Comment by teenchy — October 11, 2021 @ 6:04 pm

  7. Back from a weekend in Vegas watching the Bears, and I see a player laying with his feet on the 12 yard line, stretched across the 10, the 5, the TWO!!! There is no 2 yard line marker damn it. He didnt even mark it across the field, just near the sideline. And the 5 and 10 are much closer together then the 5 and the goal line. AND ———————– who the hell is 36 feet long with arms extended?? Stretch Armstrong wasnt even that long.

    Comment by robmize2013 — October 11, 2021 @ 6:40 pm

  8. Darn the luck, Ned. I was hoping to watch two people in a Nick at Nite “How to be Swell” segment with G blatantly appearing on their sweaters(ha). Good title, My Man.

    Teenchy, loved your Owl Creek comparison. I remember The Twilight Zone episode on that story. It had you hanging to the end. Ambrose Bierce was one bizarre dude.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — October 11, 2021 @ 8:01 pm

  9. I’m just going to assume all sports action panels are 100% recycled and the only changes are the player numbers and occasionally the colors…

    Comment by hitorque — October 12, 2021 @ 8:54 am

  10. Gil pulls Tevin…sez that “…he’s not comfortable running the wing-T…” Tevin tells Moon & Heather that he’s “…very comfortable running the wing-T…” Gil looks like Urban Meyer explaining away his logic and Tevin looks like Trevor Lawrence disagreeing publicly with his coach.

    Comment by franku2016 — October 12, 2021 @ 11:39 am


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