This Week in Milford

November 10, 2021

Peppy? Hush!

Today it finally dawns on Kianna that Boyd’s little parlor trick might just have a placebo effect. While there have been studies showing that hypnosis – even self-hypnosis – as a form of cognitive therapy can have a positive effect on chronic fatigue syndrome, simple fatigue isn’t quite the same as CFS. It’s noteworthy that most sources claiming hypnosis can treat everyday fatigue are from hypnotists themselves. So take that with a grain of Adderall.

Kianna’s best bet? Get more sleep, drop one of her sports, and learn to take advantage of her incredible shape-shifting abilities. With massive forearms and hands like that, she should slay on the uneven bars.

Post title inspired by one of my favorite Leo Kottke songs.


  1. No mercy on who? Oh, us.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 10, 2021 @ 9:27 am

  2. So this story arc is some kind of ad for legitimate therapy, right?

    Comment by billytheskink — November 10, 2021 @ 9:35 am

  3. P 3: “…whaddaya’ mean ‘we’, bitch…’s just my ‘self’ out there, so go fetch me a gatorade…”

    Comment by franku2016 — November 10, 2021 @ 10:08 am

  4. …and is Spiller really that fuckin’ stupid that he sez “fresh as a rose”? C’mon Rubin….at least try and make some of the details in this story believable, no matter how small

    Comment by franku2016 — November 10, 2021 @ 10:10 am

  5. 1. Damn, I never knew gymnastics girls needed to get hyped up like this before a meet… The only thing missing is the football-style headbutts…

    2. Kianna’s internal thoughts: “Wow, I don’t know if this silliness will actually work, but Boyd Spiller really knows his hypnosis! It only felt like I was under for a few minutes, but an hour and a half of real time had passed?! I just don’t get it — If I was completely calm and relaxed, why do I feel so exhausted? My hips and knees ache almost as if my body has been stretched out in every direction imaginable… It almost felt like instead of being unconscious, I was in some kind of a trance with some unexplained outside forces controlling my movements… Now that I think about it, why does my womanly crevice feel all puffy and raw right now, as if something relatively large and rigid was put inside for an extended amount of time? Why do my nipples ache as though something or someone has been pinching them repeatedly?? Why do I have a red, hand-shaped welt on my right buttock?? Why do I have this unmistakable taste of slightly salty egg yolk in my mouth??

    Comment by hitorque — November 10, 2021 @ 10:17 am

  6. @ hitorque…”…and why does my ass hurt when I walk or sit down?…well, who cares?…it works right?…”

    Comment by franku2016 — November 10, 2021 @ 11:27 am

  7. hitorque, you are thee best. This has to be the most asinine story since that of the repulsive Bobby Howry, and you have supplied the perfect antidote in your parody of hypnotism. Your take echoes a story from my town from forty years ago, of a dentist whose female patients had strange recollections of their experiences under laughing gas, which he had pioneered locally. Turned out, of course, that he had been routinely sodomizing his sedated patients…

    Comment by vaganova — November 10, 2021 @ 3:08 pm

  8. Looking forward to tomorrow when Kianna crashes spectacularly, breaking an arm and costing the team the meet. And dooming the volleyball team as well. And people finally realize Boyd is full of crap. Maybe even Gil finally makes an appearance!

    Comment by MopMan — November 10, 2021 @ 5:33 pm

  9. […] knew the Spiller show was all a ruse yet she tried to convince herself otherwise. No matter that Tevin has said so much on multiple […]

    Pingback by Idiots, Useful and Otherwise | This Week in Milford — November 13, 2021 @ 10:10 pm

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