This Week in Milford

November 29, 2021

Extreme Padding

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 4:32 am

Rubin is in no hurry to get to Chance Macy’s big reveal about his future plans. Did I say big reveal? I meant simpering, undercooked and inconsequential plot point. From what we’ve actually been shown, the only reason there’s any buzz at all about Macy’s choice is that he’s not making his home address known to recruiters and the office staff at MHS has nothing better to do than announce every time a piece of mail arrives.

Speaking of nothing better to do, here’s two panels of Gil and Kaz banter tap dancing around the big reveal? Oh did I say big reveal again? I meant tepid pool of runny scat that means less than zero. Oh look, Gil’s been doing that hand on the neck pose so long, his hand fused to his neck! Now that’s a development.

Okay, it looks like the big reveal is going to happen in the cafeteria. As everyone knows, one must stand on a cafeteria table to reveal things t hat nobody cares about. Hop on up there, Chance and sing it to the rooftops. You’re going to play football somewhere or not play football at all. Spill it. (Did I say big reveal again? I meant Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.)


  1. Possible announcements:
    “Wake Forest – because they have a goofy looking mascot!”
    “Syracuse – because they have an even goofier looking mascot! Also, so I can watch Onondaga Community College softball!”
    and finally …
    “The University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople!”

    Comment by Philip — November 29, 2021 @ 6:10 am

  2. The University of Austin!
    Texas?! Man, that’s serious.
    No, no – the new one
    Man, that’s a grift with no classes, buildings, or accreditation.
    I know! Perfect, huh?

    Comment by Downpuppy — November 29, 2021 @ 8:05 am

  3. More possibilities:
    Southern New Hampshire U. (SNHU)
    Texas U. (Ole’ Tex)
    University of Southern California at Los Angeles (USCLA)
    Lincoln Tech
    UEWV (U. of Eastern West Virginia)
    THE Indiana State University

    Comment by franku2016 — November 29, 2021 @ 8:08 am

  4. I like how Kaz sez ” …you said that ‘I would never guess’…” In other words, ” fuck off Gil….don’t waste any more of my time than you have to…just fuckin’ blurt it out already…”

    Comment by franku2016 — November 29, 2021 @ 8:59 am

  5. 1. Oh for fuck’s sake… If it’s not a service academy (Army/Navy/Air Force, which even wouldn’t be that unique — Hell, even yours truly *almost* decided to attend USNA so I could fly F-14D Super Tomcats…) then what else could POSSIBLY be worth the drawn-out faux suspense?? And why even stand on the lunchroom table and “announce” it to a fraction of the student body who could give less than a rat’s ass like he’s Moses with the Ten Commandments when he could pretend to be the highly-touted recruit he is and hold a press conference or draft a press release? Or if that’s too mainstream he could pull a Tru Standish and announce on twitter?

    1a. Lemme guess: Chance The Gardener is getting gender reassignment surgery so he can play football for the St. Mary Frances Girls’ School for the Blind? Or is he going to play in the French Foreign Legion? Maybe the Peace Corps?

    1b. Of course the most Milfordian possibility is Chance deciding halfway through his senior year that he doesn’t want to play college football at all and would much rather switch sports and play NCAA tennis or wrestling or track and field… THEN he’d have the unmitigated gall to wonder why the Power Five schools aren’t flooding him with scholarship offers…

    2. Despite being a three-year starter with what I presume would be all-state or all-region honors, Chance must have a truly shitty relationship with Gilberto and his fellow teammates (and the feeling must be mutual) if he thinks they don’t have any interest where he’ll be playing next year…

    3. Gilberto’s being awfully chipper about this, as if he completely forgot about Chance the Gardener making him look like a horse’s ass by getting all insufferably smug and aloof with that college recruiter from State U. and wasting everybody’s time in the process, along with souring Gilberto’s relationship with the State U. coaching staff and fucking up the potential for any of his teammates who God forbid would cut off their left nut for a tuition-free ride to play for the Aggies…

    4. Detroit Lions, what the hell?
    5. Auburn Tigers, what the hell?
    6. Kansas Jayhawks, Virginia Cavaliers, Indianapolis Colts, Steelers, Chargers, Vikings, Browns, Titans, Saints, Pittsburgh Penguins, etc. etc.

    Comment by hitorque — November 29, 2021 @ 10:42 am

  6. If it’s not on he’s either going to Donkey Dick State or joining the French Foreign Legion along with such successful alumni as Laurel &Hardy.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 29, 2021 @ 12:19 pm

  7. Jive Turkey and Hitorque, you both like buttah, you are ON A ROLL!!!!!!!!! LMAO at your comments. The other contributions were excellent but you dudes were in rare form today.

    Ned, P1 and P2 remind me of those old I Spy episodes from the ’60’s when Bill Cosby and Robert Culp would waste time chatting before they pursued the bank robber/made generic arrests. But at least tgey arrested SOMEBODY. Today is like Cosby and Culp waiting to put the cuffs on next week before the next episode appears. Oh, and before the commercials too.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — November 29, 2021 @ 1:39 pm

  8. Kaz played at Northern Colorado (and was a part of the 1996 and 1997 DII national champions, or so he claims)… so I’m guessing it isn’t there since Kaz would guess that. Or maybe it is? If it is we had better get an Ed McCaffery guest appearance.

    Comment by billytheskink — November 29, 2021 @ 2:26 pm

  9. Originally I thought he wasn’t going to play football at all, but based on P1, he is, somewhere. But with all the, “you can’t guess where”, is it going to not be a college? If that’s the case, where else would it be? A local rec league?

    Comment by MopMan — November 29, 2021 @ 4:31 pm

  10. That ham fisted chubby fuck in the green shirt doesn’t look D1 to me. They do have fishing teams.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 29, 2021 @ 5:03 pm

  11. Yep. Step in some dog shit or walk through some piss drippings in the men’s room first and THEN stand on a table where kids eat lunch. What a bunch of stupid fucks

    Comment by franku2016 — November 29, 2021 @ 5:52 pm

  12. Watching replay of Illinois vs Notre Dame. Basketball officiating is really horseshit .And Illini fans were chanting Fire Nagy! Good stuff.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 30, 2021 @ 1:49 am

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