This Week in Milford

December 18, 2021

Talley Up the Votes

Time for this season’s Mouseketeer Roll Call, Lady Mudlarks version, and with it comes the changing of the guard. No, I don’t mean Corina Karenna, though that’s how that’s supposed to work. It’s the changing of the guard at the Milford Star and, frankly, Mimi doesn’t know how to handle it.

Instead of talking to a peer in Marjie Ducey, Mimi now has to rattle off her roster to Heather Burns, who roamed the halls of Milford only five seasons previous, and her ever-present smartphone. Look how Mimi can’t make eye contact with Heather. Look how thick Mimi’s mustache is getting. Look at how manly her hands have become. (Then again, she’s always been as manly as Gil, so there ya go.) The players stay the same age, the reporters get younger, but the coach does neither.

Her youth and her backcourt gone, Mimi tires to convince herself that her bigs will save the day. Cressa Baxter did her part last season but what about the other two? Landry Carlson has been a fixture in Milford softball for the past couple of seasons but has never been called out on the hardwood, and where was Hollis “Zoomie” Talley until this past week? Spending her free time with the Civil Air Patrol?

Maybe she’s just relieved to be rid of Corina and Tessi “No Defense” Milton. Without them, there’s less likelihood of dissent among the team… that is, until they try to pick a captain. This should devolve as quickly as that whole TCFS debacle from a couple of softball seasons ago. I might’ve missed this before, but did the Lady Mudlarks always vote on a captain or did Mimi pick them? How did your high school teams select captains, TWIMers? Talk amongst yourselves.

6 Comments »

  1. Yeah, I don’t think we’ve ever known who any girls captain was, let alone know how they were picked.

    In P1, it seems like Mimi is talking to herself out loud, trying to understand how teams work.

    Comment by MopMan — December 18, 2021 @ 9:09 pm

  2. Hey, just noticed this. What is on that girl’s shirt in P1? Is it a “Meh” emoji? At least it’s different from the usual skulls and exclamation points we see.

    Comment by MopMan — December 18, 2021 @ 9:13 pm

  3. Coach Sparrow at my nephew’s high school baseball team always picked the captains, as I recall. Coach was quiet(but intense) and I wouldn’t call him autocratic but I think he wanted to start his own chain of command. And the players understood. I and other parents did too.

    And has Heather been reduced to Dick Schaap? Just reports it without much fanfare? Shoot, she isn’t even speaking today. Marjie at least got her two bits while munching in a sloppy joe.

    Once, a ballplayer was incensed when Schaap came to interview him when the player was hitting his stride. He shot out at Schaap “Where were you when I was paying my dues????”
    Schaap promptly went to get a media guide. He opens it to that player’s stats and asks “You wanted me to interview you when you were batting .214?” Good response even if the player had a point about Schaap looking like he was riding the bandwagon with the rest of ’em.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — December 18, 2021 @ 9:20 pm

  4. Players in my high school voted for football captains. Did coaches veto? Who knows? But I can’t imagine enough players voted for one of them. Yeah, I’m talking about you Mark Mettille! You fuck wad!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 19, 2021 @ 12:24 am

  5. ‘That’s how it’s supposed to work’? Wtf kind of answers is that, you overpaid knob…. Isn’t it your job to be ready for player turnover? Even I. T. whiz Heather knows that

    Comment by franku2016 — December 19, 2021 @ 6:40 am

  6. Nothing to see here… Just Rubin turning over the entire roster again without rhyme, reason or continuity…

    Comment by Hitorque — December 19, 2021 @ 8:49 am


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