This Week in Milford

January 24, 2022

I Got A System And I Can’t Lose

Filed under: High Five Fail, Pointy Fingers, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:37 am

Welcome to sports book talk with Pranit Smith. Pranit has to school Gabe on the finer points of sports wagering. Tevin surmises that it will all end in tears. There you have it. Another slice of life among teen sportsmen. Please kill me.

I feel nothing but apathy towards betting on games and all the claptrap that surrounds the practice. Point spreads, parlays, trap games, etc. always just seemed like a distraction from what happens in the field of play. To each his own, I guess, but it doesn’t give me a thrill to risk losing money of something arbitrary. Of course, I’ve thrown a few dollars away on slots, but I can do that for a little thrill in a self contained moment and not have to have to scream at a tv set for hours hoping some guy kicks a field goal for me to get a payout.

I’ve also found the coziness developing between the NFL and gambling to be disturbing. What are the ramification of the online betting advertising partnerships and having a team in Vegas? I’m not really sure, but I do remember the days when anything that whiffed of a connection between a sports league and any gambling was usually discouraged.

I’m assuming Gil is probably at least as old school in his thinking as me, but it will take him another few months to get wind of what’s going on and bring the hammer down. I’ll just parlay that into an opportunity to opine about whatever and share songs that spring to mind. To wit, here’s Little Milton:


  1. The shifting perspective has me confused today. Did Trevor Lawrence slide over from sitting in front of Pranit Rock to give us a clear shot across the table?

    Tevin has enormous hands! They must be 1 1/2 times as big as Pranit’s. No wonder Kianna was pulled into his orbit.

    Comment by teenchy — January 24, 2022 @ 8:10 am

  2. It’s not just the NFL that is cuddling with gambling….an actual sports book is opening next door to Wrigley Field. And of course, Gil will be clueless about this until it’s too late. Pranit may even get the butter knife treatment with a “gambling may be legal in this state but’s still against school rules….you are hereby expelled sir…”. Oh…that’s right…Gil is clueless because he’s busy offering up insulting observations of players THAT HE PICKED TO BE ON HIS TEAM to local gossip columnist, Heather “Walter Winchell” Burns.

    Comment by franku2016 — January 24, 2022 @ 8:27 am

  3. 1. Just a four-team parlay? No prop bets?? Rookie…

    2. Dudes who boast about their degenerate gambling usually tell the whole world WHO they picked, WHY they made those picks, and HOW MUCH it paid off… Of course a noob like Pranit the High Roller is probably betting the princely sum of $5 a pop…

    3. Pranit the Greek is again deducted ten cool points for not standing on the lunchroom table and letting the entire school know he’s on a hot streak.

    4. Didn’t take long for his teammates to forget the dubious ethics of Pranit fucking over his own brother and potentially setting him up for financial ruin…

    Comment by hitorque — January 24, 2022 @ 8:34 am

  4. 5. FWIW, since widespread legalization of sports betting, the NFL/NBA/MLB/etc. have been getting in on the ground floor with in-house gambling services, which makes sense because why would they leave such a gigantic ocean of money to the casinos and betting websites when they can cut out an easy piece of the action for themselves??

    5a. It also goes without saying that the continued popular dominance of college and pro football is directly related to how many degenerates make bets on it… And yes, for the record Fantasy Football *IS* a form of gambling…

    Comment by hitorque — January 24, 2022 @ 8:41 am

  5. Yep. My 30 y.o. nephew is nuts…he bets college football like no ones business, and not just Power-5 schools…he bets on crazy shit like MAC and similar conferences…based on all the vulgarities hurled by him at the TV when there’s a game on, I think he loses more than he wins. College football is always a tough bet…how many “really big games” between what looks like two evenly-matched teams turn into one-sided blowouts? A shit-ton do. Pranit is a jag-off…..

    Comment by franku2016 — January 24, 2022 @ 10:50 am

  6. Believe it or not, your nephew is on the right track because it’s the smaller conferences and lesser-known schools that can have the really sweet payouts — Why? Because the less significant the game, the more likely the handicappers will screw up and post a wildly inaccurate point spread. (Hint: Was the point spread +7 on Monday, but now it’s +4.5 on Friday? That means a whole lot of money is being bet on one team…)

    Hardcore degenerate gamblers hunt like predators for two things: Getting insider info before everyone else and identifying weak point spreads in the sports page each week before everyone else… Easy greasy money.

    Comment by hitorque — January 24, 2022 @ 12:44 pm


    Comment by hitorque — January 24, 2022 @ 12:54 pm

  8. My son and son-in-law both do Pranit-type shit too. My son did tell me a few weeks ago that his $5.00 almost turned into $5000.00 but unfortunately, the Ravens TE missed what would’ve been the game-winning catch against the Steelers. My son said that he had picked every game right that weekend and had the Ravens picked too, but when they lost, his shot at 5K went out the window. Oh well….can’t win if you don’t play.

    Comment by franku2016 — January 24, 2022 @ 1:04 pm

  9. Hitorque is right about smaller college teams as being the way to go. I always scratch my head at all the money bet on the Super Bowl. You know, you can make the same $100 on Middle Tennessee State as you can on the KC Chiefs. You’re not gonna outsmart the house most of the time, but if you do it’s more than likely gonna be on the Middle Tenn st vs UAB game.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — January 24, 2022 @ 4:22 pm

  10. He picked three games correctly against the spread, and that only paid off 6-1? Sounds like he got ripped off to me. (I don’t bet games either, so if I’m missing something, please correct me.)

    Comment by MopMan — January 24, 2022 @ 5:02 pm

  11. Picking 3 winners typically is 6 to 1 odds. 4 winners would be 11-1.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — January 24, 2022 @ 5:32 pm

  12. Is that 3 winners just straight up, no spread? I guess wither way, if you take it as you’ve got a 50-50 shot at each game, it would be 2-1 to get one right, 4-1 to go two-for-two, and 8-1 to go 3-for-3. If it was “fair” payout odds, which of course gambling is not.

    Comment by MopMan — January 24, 2022 @ 6:22 pm

  13. That’s 3 winners vs the spread. Forget real odds. Vegas isn’t giving real odds. That’s why the house rarely loses. Pick 5 winners against the spread, that pays 16-1. But of course the odds are tougher than that. A 10 team parlay pays 200-1. Sounds good. But the odds are of course harder than 200-1. That’s just what it pays.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — January 24, 2022 @ 6:38 pm

  14. One thing I’m bettin’. This is just Carter in his teenage years. Like we weren’t content with Carter getting drummed out of the Corps for his transgressions over the summer, we have to come back for more with Carter Andrews, America’s Favorite Gambling Teenage Wastrel, going to Vegas with Jughead Jones where Carter loses his jalopy after too many quarters in the slot machine. Think that will cover the spread ?

    Comment by tdrewhardin — January 24, 2022 @ 7:36 pm

  15. […] gambling from the moment we were introduced to him and pretty much every time we’ve seen him since. The only thing he hasn’t done was jump up on a cafeteria table and shout it to the entire […]

    Pingback by It’s No Secret: This Is Boring | This Week in Milford — February 2, 2022 @ 10:40 am

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