This Week in Milford

February 16, 2022

Some Hints Are Bigger Than Others

Could you be bothered to sort out the botched language in yesterday’s strip? Yeah, me neither, except to figure out that the end-of-game long bank shot caused the team Pranit bet on to not cover the spread. So he lost on a bad beat. Bad beats are statistically unlikely, but don’t tell that to self-righteous Tevin there. He needs to stop smoking whatever he’s smoking there and do the math.

Doesn’t it seem like Tevin’s itching to rat Pranit out to Gil and Kaz? Now there’s a strategy: Getting tired of playing sportsball but don’t want to quit voluntarily? Get a teammate kicked off the team for something that violates someone’s moral code. Bonus points if the teammate is a good player. Miss the playdowns; season ends early; and you look like the better person – or at least the morally superior one.

That gambit may actually play out on the girl’s team. Some rando blonde lady we’ve never seen Mimi introduces Cami Ochoa (which one? there are multiples), who she’s promoting from JV to varsity during the season. This doesn’t happen very often at Milford High; the last one I can think of is the scrawny but speedy football receiver Max Ortiz. Too many bodies on the Lady Mudlark bench now? Time to make room for Cami!

But who has to make room for Cami? How about the one player who, with the exception of one game, hasn’t been playing as well as she had last season? The one who tasted hard seltzer at a party last week? Now Zoomie-in-training Hollis can dime Cressa out and get her kicked off the team. Talented but inexperienced Cami is too little, too late; Milford misses the playdowns; and Hollis looks like the better person – or at least the one who upheld an honor code.

What about Cressa? Collateral damage.

7 Comments »

  1. 1.) Tevin probably needs to go to the cafeteria and stand on a table to tell everyone about Pranit’s addiction in order for him to realize that he’s got a problem.
    2.) Maybe Cami ends up replacing Hollis rather than Cressa, because Hollis is in such a conundrum about what she heard, that she’s been going through the motions and, overall, just playing with her head up her ass, while Cressa couldn’t give any less of a fuck about this and is playing the best ball of her life.

    Comment by franku2016 — February 16, 2022 @ 11:03 am

  2. 1. Okay I guess maybe I was wrong yesterday and Pranit the Greek *IS* betting on the NBA… Which still makes very little sense because for starters as I illustrated yesterday, prop bets for the NBA is where it’s at these days since individual player performance night in and night out is a hell of a lot more consistent than TEAM performances night in and night out. Besides, the only time when betting single NBA games against the spread *ISN’T* a total loser play for suckers and gambling addicts is the rare instance when A. You know something about a specific game that the gambling community doesn’t, or B. The bookmakers screw up and post a laughably inaccurate point spread that screams “FREE MONEY!”…

    2. I also fail to understand why Pranit keeps crying about a bad beat in Clippers-Pacers (which probably cost him the King’s Ransom of ten bucks I’m thinking), unless that was the ONE result that fucked up his parlay… Hardcore gamblers when they bet on NBA games bet the ENTIRE slate of games for that night for a reason… Seriously, how do I know all this stuff when I’m not even a gambler but Pranit/Rubin don’t??

    3. I think Pranit the Greek should prove to all the haters that he knows what he’s doing by betting ALL his remaining funds on the biggest NBA underdog tonight (Houston @ Phoenix, which is paying a really sweet 8-to-1 if it hits…) That’ll shut everybody up, right?

    4. Just wondering – Does Pranit Smith still play basketball for Milford High? Didn’t he use to play basketball once upon a time in this storyline?

    5. Holy shit, and I thought Gilberto Tharpe drafting Chinua Achebe service and stuffing him into a basketball uniform was a stupid, desperate and meaningless move – But here comes Gilbertina drafting her new ringer from JV with the season already 65-75% over (and it seems like Gilbertina spends a hundred times more effort, time and energy into poaching her next EZ-win mode ringer or mercenary from some other team/school than she does coaching the players she does have).

    6. Yeah, I’m sure the JV coach is absolutely loving Gilbertina right now after stealing his/her best player with the season almost over. Nevermind the fact that if Ochoa is some kind of Kelsey Plum chickball goddess making defenders look silly and all the boys in the bleachers feel funny in the pants, WHY WASN’T SHE GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE THE VARSITY ROSTER STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GATE GILBERTINA YOU GOD DAMNED MORON?!?

    7. Of course the REAL question for Ochoa is whether or not she’s planning to participate in the “optional” after-practice practices….

    8. God, even though it won’t happen, it would be perfectly hilarious if Squadron Leader Hollis Pratt Whitney Talley was the starter who’d have to sit to make room for the new ringer.

    Comment by hitorque — February 16, 2022 @ 11:48 am

  3. …and can they remove ‘captain’ status from a player any time they want? That would be even better if not only did Hollis get kicked down to the end of the bench, but that they took her bullshit captain title away from her too. Mimi could even say “..well, remember that recount that you asked about earlier in the year? Well our intrepid student manager did just that and I guess that earlier, we fucked up…Cressa actually has more votes than you, so she’s now the team captain…no hard feelings…”

    Comment by franku2016 — February 16, 2022 @ 12:53 pm

  4. Dagnabbit, I like Cami Sole. Any player who steps right out of a Modigliani painting should be welcome.

    Comment by Downpuppy — February 16, 2022 @ 1:26 pm

  5. Is it just me, or as time goes on in this story line, isn’t Pranit looking more and more like a young John Turturro? https://images.app.goo.gl/moTxEaY5VPif24bd8

    Comment by Moon Mullins — February 16, 2022 @ 6:42 pm

  6. Excellent observation, Moon, My Man. Totally agree.

    Teenchy, in P3
    “Remember Stu Sutcliffe? The 5th Beatle? Meet his granddaughter.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — February 16, 2022 @ 7:39 pm

  7. […] Shape of – a teenage growth spurt! […]

    Pingback by Future: it’s not just what Steve Luhm uses on the floors | This Week in Milford — February 19, 2022 @ 3:19 pm


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