This Week in Milford

February 26, 2022

Please Gordon Don’t Hurt ‘Em

“Not exactly, I mean.

A threat should do it, mostly.

Maybe just a hint.”

We’ve hit the home stretch

Finally Gil Thorp’s involved

What took him so long?

For that matter, why

three strips for Pranit to ask

Gordon to be goon?

For that matter, why

is Gordo acting so surprised?

Muscle’s all he’s been!

The king of picking

winners should have gotten all

the money up front

But noOOOo! What a putz!

Where’s he gonna find a goon

On such short notice?

Cressa Baxter? She’d

do it for a Jiffy Tart

Or can of White Claw

Gordon doesn’t know

the difference between what’s

crazy and stupid

Check out Gil’s office

All those empty picture frames

Titles never won

Empty picture frames

or mirrors? Maybe Gil Thorp

is a vampire

(edit: Dunno wth is going on with my spacing; these are haikus and the spacing between paragraphs isn’t showing when I publish. Little help?)


  1. What I’ve had to do when the spacing does that is type the whole thing out somewhere else (like in Notepad for example), and once it’s formatted how I want it I copy the whole thing and then paste it in here. Otherwise it always does that inserting a blank line thing. Probably some other formatting thing you can do in here, but I haven’t figured it out.

    Comment by MopMan — February 26, 2022 @ 6:42 pm

  2. This entire story doesn’t even make sense. Why can’t these deadbeat fucks set up their own SportsDouche account, bogus age or not? Ab-so-fuckin-lout-ly no one would make bets with their own money for other people, even if the tennis girl were to promise a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement. “… Show me the money, sugar britches, or get your candy ass the fuck outta here…”. No way would anyone become a bookie in this day and age. Another Rubin swing and miss

    Comment by franku2016 — February 26, 2022 @ 9:31 pm

  3. I dunno franku2016 … there is a long and disappointing history of person A persuading person B to do something strictly for person A’s benefit that person B knows, in their heart of hearts, is almost certain to come to an ugly ending. Make person B a 17-year-old boy and person A an attractive 16-year-old girl, and the odds approach certainty.
    As they used to say on Mythbusters, “call it plausible”.

    Comment by Philip — February 27, 2022 @ 8:47 am

  4. Gil is not in a panic yet. Gordo hasn’t revealed much yet. But maybe by Friday he’ll be concerned about all the games he has thrown over the last 60 years.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 27, 2022 @ 9:18 am

  5. Yeah Philip… I guess it’s plausible. It’s certainly a good example of “ loose lips sink ships”, since it was PS’s own bragging that got him in this mess to begin with

    Comment by franku2016 — February 27, 2022 @ 9:46 am

  6. Gordo knew Pranit didn’t have the cash to afford his services, and he damn sure wasn’t about to accept an IOU…

    A shame Peppermint Patty had to graduate… She probably would have taken the job for a $40 baggie of crystal meth or Mexican ditchweed…

    Comment by Hitorque — February 27, 2022 @ 1:03 pm

  7. This sums up the storyline, perfectly.

    Comment by robmize2013 — February 27, 2022 @ 1:17 pm

  8. Hitorque, all Gordo had to do was take his cut from the money he collected. He blew it and became narc.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 27, 2022 @ 4:24 pm

  9. No problem, Teenchy. The haiku worked, as far as I’m concerned. You da Man.

    Gordon is doing.the equivalent of Rosie Greer coming in and complaining that Pranit stole all his needlepoint artwork. What a way to take charge, Coach Thorp. Pranit will be playing basketball for Valley Modified because they found horse racing forms and needlepoints in his locker. Fun never stops in Milford.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — February 27, 2022 @ 8:35 pm

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