This Week in Milford

March 5, 2022

A Growth Opportunity?

Gene Rayburn: “Self-anointed Captain Selfish Hollis Talley is so selfish…”

Studio audience: “How selfish is she?”

Gene Rayburn: “Self-anointed Captain Selfish Hollis Talley is so selfish, she asked Coach Thorp to [BLANK].”

Gary Burghoff: “She asked Coach Thorp to make everyone pass her the ball?”

Brett Somers: “She asked Coach Thorp to put a hard seltzer dispenser in the locker room.”

Charles Nelson Reilly: “She asked Coach Thorp to pass her the loofah in the shower.”

Patti Deutsch: “She asked Coach Thorp to make her assistant coach.”

Richard Dawson: “She asked Coach Thorp to put her on the rack.”

Betty White: “She asked Coach Thorp to move her to guard, even though she’s taller than most of her teammates, so that she could get experience at the position so that she could try out for the Air Force Academy basketball team.”

With that ultimate Frisbee crack, you think Rubin’s aiming for a crossover with Mary Worth?

(apologies to tdrew for using the Match Game schtick)



  1. Yes! I made the Mary Worth crossover comment on GoComics a short while ago. That would be awesome to see her pop up in Gil Thorp and maybe solve Pranit’s gambling problem with some delicious muffins.

    Comment by MopMan — March 5, 2022 @ 1:21 pm

  2. Teenchy, no apologies necessary. LMAO at the Match Game reference and what’s hilarious is that’s probably WHAT THEY WOULD HAVE ANSWERED all the way down to Richard Dawson.

    BTW, anyone who saw the show noticed that Charles Nelson Reilly, Brett Somers, and Richard Dawson were on the show week after week. A person wrote to Ask TV Scout, a noted authority on the in’s and out’s of Hollywood and/or TV life in general, about the continual appearances of these celebrities, hinting at a refreshing change of scenery.
    Ask TV Scout’s answer was priceless. TV plays it safe. As long as fan support was at fever pitch with these 3(and it was), nothing was going to happen in the foreseeable future.
    Kinda like Thorpiverse. If it can keep people interested with crummy plots, it’ll keep churning them out. Pranit Smith and Brett Somers are staying put.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 5, 2022 @ 1:40 pm

  3. Aw man I wanna play the All-New Big Money Match Game ’75!!

    Hollis Lockheed Martin Talley is *so* selfish that she asked Coach Gilbertina to _______

    1. …Hire a separate bus just for her and her entourage to travel to road games!

    2. …Announce to the media her decision to officially change her number to 24 and name to “Kobe Bryant”…

    3. …Allow her to play old fashioned 1-on-5 heroball with no other teammates on the floor!

    4. … Change the team name to the “Milford Talleys”…

    5. … Label her teammates “Useless faceless nameless background-filling sidekicks who even Gilbertina couldn’t pick out of a police lineup”…

    6. … Personally wash her sports bra and jock after every ga- Wait a minute, do girl athletes wear jocks or some equivalent or what?

    Comment by Hitorque — March 5, 2022 @ 2:54 pm

  4. And a quick sacrifice to the Google Gods tells me that Air Force women’s basketball forwards run 5’9-5’11-5’11-6’0-6’0…. So once again Hollis McDonnell Douglas Talley is talking out of her ass.

    Comment by Hitorque — March 5, 2022 @ 3:02 pm

  5. Right Hitorque. It’s not her size, but lack of talent that in real life will prevent her from playing for the Air Force Falcons. I’m sure she can play intramurals.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — March 5, 2022 @ 4:39 pm

  6. Hitorque is right … in fact, none of the Falcons go over 6’0. Of course, unlike other D-1 coaches, the folks at the Academies can’t really recruit. They pretty much have to deal with whatever walks in the door, even when the player doesn’t have to duck to get through the door. (Remember David Robinson getting a waiver to stay at the Naval Academy after he grew six inches over the maximum permitted height?)
    However! The plot twist that’s coming up on Monday?
    Hollis: “I’m going to move to guard.”
    Cathy: “That’s going to cut into MY playing time! How could you!”

    Comment by Philip — March 5, 2022 @ 4:40 pm

  7. I can’t wait for this pain in the ass bitch to show up at the academy all full of herself with a class full of other classmates who think highly of themselves too so much that her “ leadership” bullshit will go over about as good as a cockroach on a birthday cake, especially with the girls already playing on the basketball team. “ hey plebe!…Pick up my dirty towels and fetch me some water!…”

    Comment by franku2016 — March 5, 2022 @ 5:38 pm

  8. Why the hell is she JUST NOW thinking of this? How tall was she in December? Yet another late season idea that shoulda been dealt with a long time ago. And why does she care where she plays now anyway? When the time comes to try out for the academy basketball team, THEN you worry about playing guard. Next fall, dope.

    Comment by robmize2013 — March 5, 2022 @ 9:38 pm

  9. Time for Hollis to experience that age-old military tradition of a ‘blanket party’

    Comment by franku2016 — March 6, 2022 @ 7:19 am

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