This Week in Milford

March 21, 2022

What Does Cressa Want?

Cathy still has the floor. She’s been filibustering all weekend, pleading the case for her bestie, The Captain with the dislocated hip. Tell ’em, Cathy. Hollis wants what’s best for everyone. She wants wins and for everyone to be better. Sheesh, Cressa, what don’t you get about that?

Mimi, on the way out the door for cocktail hour, picks up on Cathy’s inspiring defense of The Captain and she…makes a face. Maybe she’ll make Cathy co-captain for the last couple games. Maybe she’ll tell Cressa to hit the showers because she’s stinking up the place and the rest of the team is dressed and ready to go. Maybe she won’t do anything because why not, these girls will work it out. They always do. It’s the Milford way.


  1. If Cathy really believes that all Hollis wants “is to win”, then she’s dumber and fuller of shit than she sounds. All Hollis wants “is to increase her chances of playing for AF”.

    Comment by franku2016 — March 21, 2022 @ 7:18 am

  2. 1. It’s funny because Talley-Ho was the one who personally waltzed into Gilbertina’s office and planted the bug in her ear about Maddie being ineffective or overmatched or whatever.

    2. Rubin really messed up… This is the kind of locker room chaos that’s custom-tailored for a wild-card outsider like Peppermint Patty to raise hell up in… This time a year ago Patty was literally going to war over Motormouth Vic Doucette announcing a teammates name over the PA with more flair than he did hers… Seems like a waste in retrospect.

    3. Cathy: “And what do YOU want, Cressida Baxter?”

    Cressida: “For starters how about an apology from Sergeant Major Hollis Boeing Talley after I invite her to the hottest party of the year only for her to embarrass me on Monday by calling me out in front of everyone and accusing me of hurting the team just because I *MAY* have had a sip of wine cooler! Let’s start with that, you sanctimonious bitches!!”

    4. Cressida looks like she’s fixing to snatch someone’s hair out by the roots and I can only wish her Godspeed in her holy endeavor…

    5. Am I the only one wondering how a scheming little two-person clique (Hollis+Cathy) were able to assume complete control and establish their influence over a 15-person basketball team?? It’s not like Hollis/Cathy are really popular or even have friends on the team aside from each other…


    1. Well, at least Kansas is still alive… Onward and upward.

    2. Instant karma totally bit Red Bull F1 in the ass yesterday and nobody can say they didn’t have it coming…

    3. I told y’all that Brady retirement was nothing but a farce… He bided his time and waited to see if any of the other NFC South rival teams made significant offseason moves… When they didn’t the door was open for a comeback. Just don’t insult our intelligence by talking about your “family” ever again.

    4. The NBA is bad and should feel bad…

    5. Virginia Tech wins the ACC tournament and only got a #11 seed for their trouble… What a total screwjob. Please don’t insult our intelligence in the future by saying what an accomplishment winning the ACC tournament is if all it gets is an 11 seed.

    6. $230 million guaranteed for Deshaun Watson? Three first-round picks, plus a third and a fourth?? Holy damn… Russell Wilson’s trade looks like a bargain basement sale by comparison… The Browns are clearly desperate as all fuck.

    6a. I don’t think Cleveland gets this drastic and cuts bait on Baker Mayfield this early if it wasn’t for Joe Burrow playing lights out and taking Cincinnati to the Super Bowl… The Browns have been a team in the ascendancy for the past few years and their rivals to the south completely leapfrogged them in just TWO years(!) and Burrow’s progression is already to a place they’re still waiting for Mayfield to reach consistently? That’s got to piss some people off…

    6b. Not to completely absolve Mayfield of blame in this mess, but to be fair he has had what, four different head coaches in five years or whatever??

    Comment by hitorque — March 21, 2022 @ 7:27 am

  3. Mimi’s expression during her eavesdropping seems to be more like she’s hearing them say “…Hey Cressa, you stupid drunk!….Hollis has to do this….our fuckin’ coach blows….she’s outmatched every game and we seem to lose to the good teams and struggle to beat the shitty teams …coach is has been around waaaay too long and is too dumb to make any changes so fuck her…. we gotta’ do this ourselves…”

    Comment by franku2016 — March 21, 2022 @ 12:19 pm

  4. I think Mimi looks pissed because she overhears this drama and is thinking, “Dammit, I probably have to say something and this is costing me time when I should be already meeting Pedro at the Copacabana.”

    Comment by MopMan — March 21, 2022 @ 3:39 pm

  5. And as long as we have to deal with pouty-faced Cressa, she is throwing a monkey wrench into this already-spaghetti-junction of plotlines. What does she care, Hollis took Cathy’s spot. Talk about raising a stink where there is no Gil, literally and figuratively. Do you know the way to San Jose?

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 21, 2022 @ 4:40 pm

  6. 6. Just your daily reminder that Gilbertina “called up” some girl from the JV squad who’s also starting right now… Why isn’t she being accused of stealing someone’s playing time??

    Comment by hitorque — March 22, 2022 @ 6:56 am

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