This Week in Milford

March 23, 2022

A Good Season? Guess We’ll Have to Take Gil’s Word for It

Boy that Hollis sure took some tough stands, didn’t she? Calling out teammates who sipped hard seltzer and twisting Mimi’s arm to get more playing time and fluff up her resume was tough. Speaking of tough stands, tough guy Gil finally eases up on Pranit Hollywood when nothing’s on the line…

… or at least we’re being led to think that. A quick scan of the game results and I see Milford’s at 4-2, 2-2 in the conference, with 1 unknown outcome.* More than one conference loss usually implies no playdowns, so it’s safe to say the Mudlarks are playing out the string. And of course Milford was out of it because Pranit didn’t play. No one ever steps up for Milford.

Now, with nothing on the line and Kaz pulling the baseball gear out of storage, Gil relents and lets Pranit Smoothie back in the game. A meaningless win, some platitudes for the next two days, a lame joke on Saturday, and then time to pound that Budweiser hit the old batting cage. Wonder if Pranit will ever collect on the gambling debts owed him. Guess we’ll have to wait and see if he shows up for baseball with all his limbs intact.

What a wasted use of Marty this season. No way he wouldn’t have gotten word of Pranit’s suspension and run with it like a drunk with scissors. Even the Chief is phoning it in. He’s put Tevin’s head on Gordon Achebe’s Ted Kluszewskiesque body.

* The season so far:

@ All Saints W, 57-56

Redford W, 60-54

Jefferson L

Goshen W (“a bounce back”)

@ New Thayer W (“comfortable”)

@ Madison ???

Central L, 58-60 (notice how a three would’ve won it? Pranit the implied scapegoat)

5 Comments »

  1. Why is Pranit Hollywood sweating bullets in P 2? Was he expecting to be executed for his misdeeds? Of course, he is going out in a blaze of glory in the season finale after being a douche for most of the season.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — March 23, 2022 @ 10:52 am

  2. By “mess up” Gil meant hit a bunch of 3’s and make me look bad by benching you for no reason. Also, possibly giving us a chance to make the playdowns. Gil needs time to assemble the worst pitching staff possible and miss those playdowns and hit the 19th hole pronto.
    If I was Pranit I couldn’t play with that rat fink of a teammate. The other guys are puds, too. Golly, I hate this high school!!!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — March 23, 2022 @ 11:42 am

  3. Gordon looks mad. Is it because he forgot his shorts and had to practice in jeans, or is it because Tevin stole his intimidator look by wearing a shirt with ripped off sleeves?

    Comment by MopMan — March 23, 2022 @ 11:50 am

  4. Pranit should just go out there at the next game and fire up Larry Bird- and Steph Curry-type shots from dam near half court every time he touches the ball just to fuck with Gil. What does it matter at this point? He’s a douche for sure, but I still like him better than Colonel Klink Hollis Talley. Good riddance to her (hopefully). And you are correct sir…there will be some lame send off strip on Saturday, and then next week, that Pulitzer Prize candidate, Heather Burnsy, will be there with her trusty 1970’s notepad to write down the names of the baseball starters that Gil rattles off to her. And I’m not sure how R&W will top last spring’s riveting library board story, but I would have Pranit bet his own money that they somehow will do just that.

    Comment by franku2016 — March 23, 2022 @ 12:07 pm

  5. Teenchy, Lately, Marty Moon has been like Buster Keaton in “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum”, just mindlessly running around and MAYBE he might stop and bring some sense to things. Don’t bet any Mike’s Hard Lemonade on it.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — March 24, 2022 @ 12:45 pm


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