This Week in Milford

April 6, 2022

Next Stop: Donut Town. Population: Two.

That box o’ donuts Heather brought Gil yesterday looked like it came from Donut Town. Wonder if Guy Fieri ever stopped in there? Marjie never brought Gil donuts. She never sat that close to Gil, either. No way they’re not playing footsie or more under the desk. Look at those enormous mitts on Heather; they’re as big as Gil’s. No wonder Gil put her in at tight end.

Aren’t you glad the last couple days of incoherence got settled? Wilson Henry is the catcher. Gregg Hamm is one of the pitchers. As for the rest of Neal’s friends on the Mudlark roster, where have we seen them before?

Gonzalo “Gonzo” Aceves, Dallas George and Curtis Charles return from last season. So, for that matter, do Morton Levi (who was a relief pitcher last season), Eldrick Boston, the aforementioned Wilson Henry and “Blowtop” Chance Macy, who has been around since forever. Go to Canada already! Nomar Ramos played basketball this past season, and Steve Lehto played football. Second base is our midweek cliffhanger.

Zane Clark has graduated. Wonder if he’s still on the library board.

In any event, a veteran roster, one with experience in underachieving. Time to sit back and watch the underachieving unfold. Pass me a donut, willya?



  1. I think Heather is running a psychological experiment along with her sports writing duties. She testing Gil’s mental acuity by seeing what she can pass off to him as a doughnut. Today, it’s a raw potato with ants crawling on it and Gil’s none the wiser.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson's Evil Twin — April 6, 2022 @ 10:08 am

  2. Oh God, Teenchy raises a good point but if P3 with Scooter & Hamm’s in foreview, Thorpiverse is utilizing the oldest trick in the book to express a sneak peak at the answer.
    “Yeah, the one scratching the pimples on his butt is the second baseman. Next to the one kissing Kaz’s butt. That should round out the line-up.”
    Scooter & Hamm’s was a ’60’s duet out of Liverpool, heavily endorsed by the Fab Four.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — April 6, 2022 @ 1:38 pm

  3. I do like the traditional reading of the baseball lineup. We didn’t get one in 2019, which was awful. Milford Mudlark Record Book.xlsx holds grudges…

    Veteran line up indeed, Aceves, Macy, and Boston are all in their 3rd varsity baseball seasons. Last Mudlark baseball lineup that had at least three 3 year players on it was the 2018 team: Barry Bader at 2B, Kevin Pelwecki at DH, and Pete DeWindt at SS (it also had Larry Arroyo at 3B, who may have gone unnamed in 2017 after replacing Barry Bader at 2B in 2016, or he may have returned to jayvee). That 2018 also had 5 newcomers to the baseball lineup, though. Brent Raptor is the only 4 year baseball player the Mudlarks have had since the turn of the century.

    Comment by billytheskink — April 6, 2022 @ 1:45 pm

  4. P 4 (Heather’s voice): “… coach, I don’t really give a fuck about listening to your bullshit opinions about the starting lineup…what I really wanna know is who calls the pitches around here?…”

    Comment by franku2016 — April 6, 2022 @ 1:55 pm

  5. Ned that certainly does look like a raw potato with ants crawling on it. The reason Gil is no more the wiser is he’s hitting the rotgut early. Absolute turd!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — April 6, 2022 @ 2:29 pm

  6. God damnit, no DH! I’m on a one-man crusade to end it

    Comment by Hitorque — April 7, 2022 @ 12:26 am

  7. […] comes Curtis Charles, (or First Baseman Curtis Charles if you’re Funky). For some reason, Curtis wants a picture of Gregg and his father. That seems […]

    Pingback by Chain Link Fence Theater | This Week in Milford — April 25, 2022 @ 9:29 am

  8. […] under the dash of his car and taking notes using a carpenter’s pencil. Guess Marty got it from Heather that everyone’s calling Aceves “Gonzo” now. Though he and his butter knife are […]

    Pingback by From a Slick Stop to a Meal Stop | This Week in Milford — May 4, 2022 @ 9:58 am

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