So, what have we got going on today? It’s still Heather Burns inexplicably shooting video for the Milford Star. That’s right. This dying media enterprise that dumped Marjie Ducey’s salary to hire this dolt is trying to stay relevant by putting video on its website. It’s also diluting it’s all ready craptastic prep sports coverage by replacing garbage reporting with a shaky video of people in the stands? Notice that Heather isn’t using a tripod and she’s holding that “beast” out in front of her. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Visitors to the Milford Star website have been clamoring for this kind of content. If you can’t get a video of a kid sitting in a tree*, the next best thing is randos watching the Mudlarks!
Oh, yeah, there’s a baseball game going on and Gonzalo Aceves is throttling Central. I assume panel 2 indicates that Central batters can only manage weak grounders against Gonzo’s dazzling stuff. Huzzah!
Of course, all this is mostly in service of our A plot, the mysterious Mr. Hamm, who is camera shy for some undisclosed reason. Ruth Hamm is even throwing herself in front of Ol’ Hamm to shield him just in case Heather manages to get a clear, in focus shot of the mysterious bastard. Ruth Hamm may be so afraid of being identified that she changed her hair color since the last game.
*Kid stuck in tree refers to a strip from many years ago where the storyline was about this kid Andrew Gregory who was running around Milford taking videos of exciting things (like a kid sitting in a tree) and selling them to the Star. I was going to try and embed the images from Jason’s posts back in 2008 as it might be more dynamic than just linking back to the posts, but it’s an ordeal to scroll back through fourteen years’ worth of images used in this blog. Links will have to suffice. I think Andrew had a better camera than whatever relic Heather found down at the Star.
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This Week in Milford 
Wear a hat, shave the goatee,shave your head, grow more facial hair, color your hair, get a mowhawk, sit by yourself beyond the outfield fence is just a few suggestions to not be recognized. You turd! I don’t know what he’s hiding from, I’m sure it’s lame, but if he doesn’t change his appearance, he’ll be recognized. What an idiot!
Comment by Jive Turkey — May 2, 2022 @ 4:54 pm
It looks more like she was surprised by Heather as she was getting ready to give him a handy or more. Haha… drop that shit on the prep sports page Heather, you fuckin tool
Comment by franku2016 — May 2, 2022 @ 5:36 pm
And wtf is she even filming people in the stands for? Who cares? For someone who graduated from a Big 10 journalism school, she sure didn’t learn much. Tech whiz, my ass
Comment by franku2016 — May 2, 2022 @ 6:02 pm
Oh, well fuck me… Is something actually about to happen in this storyline? HOLY SHIT THAT’S MICHAEL MCDONALD!!
2. Yeah, sure why not? Heather Cronkite already outed one government witness over some total bullshit so another is no big deal at all, amirite?
3. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS LITTLE MISS BRENDA STARR DOING FILMING THE CROWD IN THE FIRST PLACE??
4. Christ, what a couple of fucking idiots – The lady for totally blowing the cover, and Michael McDonald for not having the basic common sense to put on a cap and some sunshades if he can’t be seen in public… And if he can’t be seen in public, what the hell is he even doing there? McDonald could have watched the game from a distance, he could have sat with the Central fans, OR HE COULD HAVE JUST STAYED HIS ASS HOME.
5. I’m pretty sure the story behind McDonald isn’t cool like being a fugitive from the law or a bigamist or a CIA agent or he’s Gilberto’s secret biological father or a witness against the mafia… It’s got to be something much, much dumber.
6. I’m thinking McDonald is an ex-con and his probation requires him to stay 500 yards away from schools, for some reason…
Comment by Hitorque — May 2, 2022 @ 7:05 pm
Heather filming the stands would make sense if she was broadcasting the whole game online. Some crowd shots between batters or whatever. But when the plan is to put a few game highlights on your website, you sure as hell aren’t going to include a scan of the crowd as one of your highlights.
Comment by MopMan — May 2, 2022 @ 8:14 pm
Would be fun if Norton destroys the camera. So it won’t happen.
Comment by Downpuppy — May 3, 2022 @ 2:41 am
OMG, I clicked on some of those links and I’m befuddled. There were Gil Thorp characters with nicknames like Curlyhorse and Rain Werewolf.
Comment by Ned Ryerson's 1980s Camcorder — May 3, 2022 @ 9:36 am
I believe Curlyhorse was a nickname for long-faced Andrew Gregory, an irritating basketball and baseball star with a stupid spit curl. His father was some sort of mercenary who did secretive and impliedly distasteful things and was rarely home, leaving Andrew to take care of his younger siblings. When CPS started sniffing around and then insisted on visiting the Gregory home, Marty Moon pretended to be his father. It was wonderfully stupid in a way this strip hasn’t been in a while.
Gregory never shed his irritating image in-strip or out, later voicing such strong opinions on immigration policy that his teammates actually believed he turned Elmer Vargas over to immigration…
Comment by billytheskink — May 3, 2022 @ 10:01 am
You are correct, billy. (It is me, Ned Ryerson. Sometimes I’m posting from a place where I can’t log in to my actual account for obscure technical reasons,) I was pretending to be befuddled, but I remember Andrew even though I forgot he where he came down on the Elmer Vargas story. Thanks for reminding me.
What is also interesting about going back to 2008 is that shortly after those strips that I linked to, Frank McLaughlin retired from drawing the strip and Frank Bolle stepped in for a short time before Rod Whigham took over. Frank Bolle drew the strips where Marty Moon pretended to be Andrew Gregory’s father. Frank’s drawing was pretty sharp then. It was only a few years later before his Apartment 3-G strips descended into madness. Frank Bolle also drew Gil Thorp to look kinda like Rock Hudson.
Both of those Franks died within a few months of each other in 2020. According to Wikipedia Frank McLaughlin died in Milford Hospital, Godalming, United Kingdom.
Comment by Ned Ryerson's Drunk Uncle — May 3, 2022 @ 11:11 am