This Week in Milford

May 28, 2022

By This Logic, He’d Wear a Football Helmet If He Was Deaf

So, yeah. Protect his eyes but don’t do anything to improve his vision. Maybe Gil is serious about winning the Valley, and this is his weapon of choice: trot the Hammer out to the bump every third day and have him throw wildly at stuff Nuke Laloosh style to put the fear of God into opposing batters. Nah. That would inject some semblance of logic into this arc where none has existed to date.

After pointing the gigantic Flying Fickle Finger of Fate at Ggerg, Gilberto strolls into the shadows with the walking HIPAA violation (recall she showed up at MHS in Tuesday’s strip but by Wednesday, Gil was “paying a visit to” her). Who’s that watching them walk away, Ggerg himself? If so, he peeled out of that uniform pretty darn quick.

I’m still hung up on what “Dr.” Maisano actually revealed in her little chat with Gil. She said his eyesight is gonna get worse and implied he won’t be able to play baseball again. What, exactly, is the problem? Is he literally going blind, and no treatment to halt or reverse his progressive loss of vision is possible? Leaving that dangling might be the biggest of the big holes in this plot.

Speaking of big holes, that blonde woman standing behind Gil in P3 fell into a big one this spring. What’s she been doing with herself since March? Feel free to speculate in the comments.

10 Comments »

  1. Speaking of holes, remember the excitement of Scooter and his buddies running to the tennis courts to watch what’s-her-name play? And how tennis was going to play a role in the plot for the first time ever? Oh, wait, we never went back to tennis again, so there was NO POINT to it even be introduced.

    Comment by MopMan — May 28, 2022 @ 9:42 pm

  2. Wow. I’ve never heard a coach say it’s your call on ANYTHING! I want to hit clean up and pitch every friggin inning of every game. How’s that grab ya, coach?
    A water for the road? Who you crappin’?
    You better watch what you’re cutting, Gil. That’s not a butter knife. YOU TURD !!!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — May 28, 2022 @ 10:17 pm

  3. 1. Who cares about Gilbertina? The less we see of her the better…

    2. And I’m sorry, but why hasn’t Gilberto just kicked him off the team already? Hell, why hasn’t he even spoken to the rest of the team about it yet??

    3. So let me get this straight — We’re just going to completely gloss over the fact that the kid is going blind and should by all means be spending **ALL** of his fucking time preparing to adjust to his inevitable future? Like I said Friday, this kid and his parents need some counseling because their collective denialism is going to make this transition a hundred times harder than it needs to be…

    4. Also, how in fuck’s name has this issue not caused some kind of dissention or chaos among the rest of the team? I’ve just seen so many Milford teams tear themselves apart over absolutely meaningless bullshit….

    Comment by Hitorque — May 29, 2022 @ 12:53 am

  4. In the last game of the season, Gregg misplays a chopper for a two-run error, and the ‘larks miss the playdowns. The American Optometric Association ejects Dr. Maisano for gross incompetence. Scooter appears in one more day’s strip with one more bit of trivia (Dean Stone was the winning pitcher in the 1954 All Star Game without officially facing a single batter). Scooter’s girlfriend, Charis Tompkins, appears in one more day’s strip with one bit of tennis trivia (quickest Grand Slam final: 1988 French Open, Steffi Graf over Natasha Zvereva in 32 minutes). Final shocking reveal: Gregg’s dad is ghostwriting for the VP of a Milford industrial solvents company. The VP wants to keep the arrangement secret so that no one will suspect that he is functionally illiterate. The summer story will begin 11 July.

    Comment by Philip — May 29, 2022 @ 7:50 am

  5. I agree with Hitorque. The players seem oblivious to this nonsense yet a couple of years ago, the football team was split over some silly bullshit like which QB gets to fuck PP first. And I wish RW would just go back to the black & white strips. They obviously have trouble keeping colors consistent. Even if there’s a separate colorist, it’s up to them to proof their work. In fact, the only thing consistent about this strip is the fluctuations in color.

    Comment by franku2016 — May 29, 2022 @ 7:57 am

  6. Not only that, Gilberto completely berated his two quarterbacks for the unforgivable offense of sitting in different sections (with their own groups of friends/teammates) AT A GODDAMN VOLLEYBALL GAME(!) All because Patty complained to Gilbertina knowing full well she’d complain in turn to her dear husband who by the next morning had called his two best football players on the carpet…

    Say what you will about Peppermint Patty, but her behind-the-scenes manipulation of everything happening around her was a masterclass. I’ve never seen a Mudlark athlete make both Gilberto and Gilbertina dance like puppets on a string for an entire school year…

    Comment by Hitorque — May 29, 2022 @ 10:30 am

  7. There are untreatable conditions that lead to progressive vision failure, including macular degeneration & sometimes glaucoma. Rare in teens, but they do occur. With all that’s wrong with this story, assuming that Gregg is fixable is a waste of time & snark.

    Comment by Downpuppy — May 29, 2022 @ 11:38 am

  8. Gregggggg is the dam colorist too

    Comment by franku2016 — May 29, 2022 @ 1:04 pm

  9. @Downpuppy: Yeah, I should’ve picked up on glaucoma given my focus on the Jackie Hayes story. I just would’ve expected Rubin to be a little more explicit about what Ggerg’s condition was and whether or not it was irreversible. (edit: Stupid me, I should’ve done my homework and known that while the progression of glaucoma can be slowed or stopped, the vision loss associated with it cannot be reversed. #themoreyouknow)

    Comment by teenchy — May 29, 2022 @ 4:48 pm

  10. […] isn’t going to start drinking heavily or contemplate suicide. Nope, he’s getting the Nuke Laloosh advice from Mr. Trivia and his girlfriend. I thought Rubin might’ve foregone a girls’ sports […]

    Pingback by Charis Puts It Bluntly | This Week in Milford — June 4, 2022 @ 2:06 pm


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