This Week in Milford

June 4, 2022

Charis Puts It Bluntly

Today’s baseball history lesson is – aw, hell, we had this baseball history lesson almost two months ago. The Hammer isn’t going to start drinking heavily or contemplate suicide. Nope, he’s getting the Nuke Laloosh advice from Mr. Trivia and his girlfriend. I thought Rubin might’ve foregone a girls’ sports plot this season to have the single female character serve as the voice of reason. I thought wrong.

As much as we joke about it, this is really a ridiculous answer. So ridiculous that it’s wiped Ggerg’s mouth completely off his face. One would almost have to be stoned to come up with it. In fact, if I didn’t know any better I’d think Charis and Eli had been partaking themselves.

How long before the Oakwood scouting report makes its way through rest of the Valley? How long before Gil is forced to forfeit every game he’s had this menace on the mound? This plot has two weeks left – three, tops – so let’s just sit back and see how much stupider it can get.

Can’t wait to see what Mopman does with this one. The colorists missed a golden opportunity to color C & E’s eyes pink.


  1. P 2: Haha…. Cloris seems to be saying “… I don’t care if you ARE blind…. I bet you’re bigger than pee wee here…”

    Comment by franku2016 — June 4, 2022 @ 2:22 pm

  2. And P 3: “… that’s right readers… the only big thing on Scooter is his mouth…”

    Comment by franku2016 — June 4, 2022 @ 2:23 pm

  3. Well I took the low hanging fruit in P2 and ran with it, of course. I still can’t believe that Gil is FREAKING LEAVING HIM IN THE STARTING ROTATION! After that disaster last game? That will get repeated every time he pitches now? The only thing that can redeem it for me is if Gregg starts firing threatening pitches warming up for his next start and Gil yanks his ass to the bench. Heaven forbid he does anything though.

    Comment by MopMan — June 4, 2022 @ 5:09 pm

  4. I’m genuinely starting to feel sorry for Gregg… He’s been relying on teammates, his best friend and Gilberto for advice with a very serious issue, and absolutely nothing they’ve been telling them FOR AN ENTIRE SEASON HAS EVEN COME CLOSE TO ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM…

    Comment by Hitorque — June 4, 2022 @ 9:02 pm

  5. Yeah… bad advice and now not only is Skippy quoting stupid baseball trivia but so is his candy ass girlfriend.

    Comment by franku2016 — June 5, 2022 @ 6:07 am

  6. Note that Duren didn’t just put on an intimidating show during warmups – he drilled people during games. High school umps won’t tolerate that.

    Comment by Philip — June 5, 2022 @ 6:41 am

  7. Right, Philip. And as it gets around the conference that Gil is knowingly allowing this, the fewmet will really strike the windmill. Again, Duren is not the right model. He once made a pitch so wild that he hit the player in the on deck circle. Like Gerggg, Duren had talent– he pitched for eleven years and made the all-star game four times. But as Casey Stengel remarked, “I would not want to face Duren. If he ever hit you in the head, they’d be referring to you in the past tense.” No high school ump would consider tolerating that level of risk.

    Comment by vaganova — June 5, 2022 @ 9:19 am

  8. Gil is usually a thoughtful coach, but in this instance, he’s being reckless and stupid. At JT would say “… what a pud…”

    Comment by franku2016 — June 5, 2022 @ 11:14 am

  9. The readers make a good point. You get this sick-gut feeling that Charis is implying that Ryne’s was throwing chin music during warm-ups as a way to intimidate the opposition before they stepped to the plate, but that really wasn’t my impression, nor the impression of the TWIM readers. Ryne had control problems regardless of whether he threw purpose pitches or not. Generally, he was simply wild.
    But Thorpiverse has to raise a stink where there’s no fewmet(LOVE that word, Vaganova) and since Charis got jacked around in the process, it has to find SOME way to bring her back in since the tennis plot wound up in the 8th row beside one of Ryne’s Nolan Ryan Express Specials. Way to go, T-verse.
    As long as one of Gil’s putts doesn’t land in the same area, the golf plot should come out unscathed.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — June 5, 2022 @ 4:34 pm

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