This Week in Milford

June 11, 2022

While Heather Watches, Gil Finds a Pair

Like a baserunner who rounds third and heads for home, the third-base coach’s stop sign unheeded, this plot has now blown past the mere unrealistic into the realm of pure fantasy.

Rob emphasized this yesterday. Let’s say for the sake of argument that Gil was correct and there’s no rule allowing the umpire to force a coach to remove a player from the game. The ump is absolutely within his rights to remove a player, a coach, or a manager from the game if that player/coach/manager is causing a potential safety hazard to the other players. Kaiser Gilhelm does not get to be the decider here, no matter how much of a show he wants to put on for his girl Heather…

… and for the record, his little smart-assed remark about Louis C.K.’s strike zone should get him run to the Milford activity bus for the rest of the game. Arguing balls and strikes is a no go, even if you’re arguing balls and strikes from a previous game. Besides, if Gil won his argument, why is Ggerg sitting on the bench when he gets back to the dugout?

Louis should either stick to refereeing basketball or give as good as he gets, like Bill Haller did to Earl Weaver.


  1. 1. Thanks for the Earl Weaver… Truly one of a kind.

    2. And yes I agree fully that Gilberto’s smug ass needs to get run out of the game…

    2a. Damn, in retrospect a whole lot of people have been putting their asses and careers on the line just so some blind-assed kid can finish out the season like it’s the special Olympics, because reasons

    Comment by Hitorque — June 11, 2022 @ 11:43 pm

  2. I can’t think of any ump that would take this kind of shit from some jagoff coach like this guy. And fuck Gregg too. You’re blind. Get over it already and quit threatening others safety, you insolent little prick.

    Comment by franku2016 — June 12, 2022 @ 7:03 am

  3. Ump: “Sure, coach. And, for the record, if your kid injures someone, I’ll feel obligated to testify that you were warned, that you rejected the warning, and that you insulted me for warning you. And, off the record, for the rest of this game, the strike zone will look like a map of Vermont. Play ball!”

    Comment by Philip — June 12, 2022 @ 9:36 am

  4. …. And for the record coach, my strike zone could be the size of California and this douche still wouldn’t hit it…

    Comment by franku2016 — June 12, 2022 @ 12:28 pm

  5. I mean, this is getting ridiculous. As all the readers have mentioned, you don’t tell an umpire how to do his job. I’d like to see Gil take on the umpires when my nephew was playing ball. Gil would get run out of town pronto. Again, it’s bad enough Gil has been a no-show but then claiming undue authority? And as Teenchy mentioned, in the real world, Gil would have been tossed for scorching an ump’s strike zone.
    Ay, there’s the rub. It’s been a while since Thorpiverse has seen the real world. Talk about a world view as myopic as an index card. Too many 3 × 5’s in Gil’s equipment bag.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — June 12, 2022 @ 4:30 pm

  6. “… keep the ball between the dugouts…” Ok, Gil. That should tell you all you need to know. What a fuckin tool…

    Comment by franku2016 — June 12, 2022 @ 6:52 pm

  7. […] season.) No one tells Gil Thorp when to pull his pitchers except Gil Thorp, either, and he’ll shit-talk anyone who tries to tell him […]

    Pingback by Nomar Hamm for You, Al | This Week in Milford — June 25, 2022 @ 8:22 pm

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