This Week in Milford

June 25, 2022

Nomar Hamm for You, Al

Oh look, it’s yet another late-middle-aged white guy in the Allen Funt/Ed Asner mold, the kind that are thick on the ground in the Valley. This time he’s named Al Drake and he’s at Channel 6 in Central City. Somebody must have picked up a copy of the Milford Star before their long commute to the Channel 6 studios and dropped it off in the break room, where Al stumbled upon it while rooting around a box of stale donuts left over from a staff meeting the day before. (Oh, alright, he saw the online edition on his massive 20-year-old desktop PC still running on Windows XP.)

Big Al can’t let one dying medium have The Gregg Hamm Story all to itself, so of course he wants in on it. Being from a bigger market, Al thinks Channel 6 can impose on Gil’s sense of order and have Gregg make the start in front of his cameras… but noooOOO! No one tells Gil Thorp when to start his pitchers except Gil Thorp. (Never mind that Gregg’s been starting almost every game we’ve seen this season.) No one tells Gil Thorp when to pull his pitchers except Gil Thorp, either, and he’ll shit-talk anyone who tries to tell him otherwise.

Gil Thorp accommodates no one from the media. Well, no one except Heather Burns. Her, he’ll let roam onto the field to interview his players. Mimi seems incredibly chill with this arrangement – so chill she hasn’t even bothered to field a softball team this season. Mezcal and Vicodin have a way of doing that. So does the pool boy coming by to open the pool up early.

If Channel 6 wants a piece of Hamm, it’ll have to move closer to Gil’s world.

meta: yhs will be on vacation from July 1-17, and will be off the grid for part of that time. I’ll plan on posting this coming Wednesday but can’t count on being able to post again until July 20 at the earliest.

10 Comments »

  1. No TV news director has ever had this kind of conversation with a high school coach, ever…

    Comment by Hitorque — June 25, 2022 @ 8:40 pm

  2. And the never-ending high school baseball season and idiotic story continues…..

    Comment by franku2016 — June 25, 2022 @ 8:51 pm

  3. Teenchy, I’ll cover for you on July 6 and the 13th if nobody else steps forward but would rather defer to somebody else doing Saturdays(the 9th and 16th) but will take those too in an emergency. I don’t want to monopolize as I love being a part of a team but understand when duty calls.

    Comment by tdrewhardin — June 25, 2022 @ 8:58 pm

  4. Teenchy,

    “Coach, you’ve had me pitching 21 straight games. Any chance I can rest my arm.”
    “Hell no. In fact, if you don’t, the Feds are coming to your game to haul your dad away. In fact, here they come now.”
    “What are you doing!!!!!!!!!! He just photocopied a wildebeest article from National Geographic undrr the table, don’t-”
    SMILLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE, YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by tdrewhardin — June 25, 2022 @ 9:03 pm

  5. What a moron– Any chance you can switch? Uh, sir, if you think just because you can only get a camera crew out there (out where? Does CC have Milfords entire schedule?) today, you think Gregg will pitch out of turn and risk hurting his arm JUST FOR YOU AND YOUR LOCAL TV STATION THAT MY GOD SURELY MUST BE SEEN IN MORE THAN ONE CITY, YOU’RE DUMBER THAN A PILE OF MONKEYSHIT IN A ZOO.

    Even with all else being equal, HAVENT YOU HAD ALL SEASON TO KNOW MILFORD HAS BEEN PLAYING GAMES EVERYWHERE EXCEPT TIN BUCK TWO BUT YOU STILL CANT WAIT TO FILM A FREAK SHOW???
    YOU CANT WAIT A FEW DAYS UNTIL ITS GREGGS TURN AGAIN???
    YOU’RE GONNA SENSATIONALIZE A KID WHO IS GOING BLIND BUT INSISTS ON PITCHING ANYWAY BECAUSE HE’S A MORON JUST LIKE YOU,
    AND EVERYONE ELSE IN ON THIS STUNT???
    AND YOURE CALLING THAT NEWS????

    OH BY THE WAY, WHEN HIS DAD FINDS OUT YOU’RE HEADING TO (wherever) FOR THIS SHAM OF A FILM PIECE, YOUR CAMERA EQUIPMENT WILL RETURN TO CENTRAL CITY IN A MILLION PIECES!. GO AHEAD TAKE HIM TO COURT! HIS IDEA IS BETTER THEN YOURS!

    Comment by robmize2013 — June 25, 2022 @ 9:22 pm

  6. You say Allen Funt mode, I say “The Chief” from Get Smart.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — June 25, 2022 @ 9:47 pm

  7. Agree Robomize. What a tool…. “ he almost seemed put out”. How about telling him “ …that’s why I’m a coach and you’re not, you fuckin windbag…”

    Comment by franku2016 — June 26, 2022 @ 6:41 am

  8. Gergg should be able to throw back to back games. He has another arm hasn’t he?

    Comment by Jive Turkey — June 26, 2022 @ 7:49 am

  9. The problem, Jive Turkey, is that Gregg can’t see himself doing that.

    Comment by MopMan — June 26, 2022 @ 7:55 am

  10. I can do the 13th and the 2 Saturdays. If need be I can combine them into 1 post since we dont have one on Sundays.

    Comment by robmize2013 — June 27, 2022 @ 9:23 am


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