This Week in Milford

January 21, 2023

They seem confident, but Toby’s looking a little jaundiced tbh

Second day in a row and third of six this past week on Rod and Tobe selling vapes. That’s practically a complete story arc in the nu-look Thorpiverse. Still some dots to connect, as usual. Where are they getting the vapes? Where is the chocolate going? Is it straight up barter or are there additional steps in between? Are tattoos and legit DVDs doctored to look fake somehow involved?

Coach Ochoa* is playing bag lady for these two and she’s probably better off not knowing where the money came from. Plausible deniability could go a long way for her and Gil when this racket gets busted and Dr. Pearl comes headhunting.

Chief Lind’s officers will have no problem picking these two miscreants out in that blaze orange shitbox that must’ve come off Foxy’s lot. No problem hauling them in either, as long as they stay away from the trunk. What’s in there with the candy bars that has the power to change the color of clothing and skin? J. Frank Parnell’s aliens? Marsellus Wallace’s briefcase? Bitcoin?

*Who is Coach Ochoa coaching, exactly? The only strips we’ve seen in this season had her holding Gil’s balls in a sack or running the Milford boys through a dribbling two balls at once drill. Is there no Milford girls’ team this season? Some confirmation would be nice (hint, hint).



  1. I don’t give a rat’s ass how things work in the Magical Milfordverse… Finally at long last, this is the bullshit that absolutely positively MUST cost Gilberto his job (also Principal Minnie Pearl should get canned, but we’ll deal with her later)… A suspension won’t cut it, and neither will simply kicking these players off the team. It doesn’t matter if Gilberto has plausible deniability — The fish rots from the head and he bears full responsibility for anything his players do while officially fundraising in the name of the school. If this was real life, sooner or later Goofus and Goofus would peddle their evil godless wares to an 11-year old or an undercover sheriff’s deputy or something even worse:

    Comment by Hitorque — January 22, 2023 @ 12:49 am

  2. I wonder if twinkle toes smokes so much of his own product, that he’s caused some sort of liver damage to his system, giving him jaundice. U R right hitorque. Gil is clueless af and Pearl won’t wanna hear it when he tells her so. These guys look like total d-bags with those sunglasses too, like they think no one will recognize them

    Comment by franku2016 — January 22, 2023 @ 8:50 am

  3. And speaking of clueless, dumb bitch Mel will blame Gil for any trouble that ‘ her Toby’ gets himself into. You can count on it.

    Comment by franku2016 — January 22, 2023 @ 9:20 am

  4. Just added Coach Ochoa as a new category; Ned had it on his to-do list since the new year.

    Comment by robmize2013 — January 22, 2023 @ 1:21 pm

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