This Week in Milford

May 17, 2023

At Least It’s Not In the Bandar Tongue

Filed under: baseball, dopes, Henry Reads the Comments, huge hats, Valley Tech — teenchy @ 9:48 am

I don’t know about y’all but I’m convinced this whole junket is an elaborate scam by Coach Kim to get a trip to see his fam on the taxpayer’s Luke’s dime.

What could Luke possibly say to Kwan to convince him to come to the US and A to play for Valley Tech? He doesn’t speak Korean, if the convo thus far is any indication. I’m envisioning some sort of loud, slow, horrible pidgin talk like the kind we used to see in old movies. A thinly veiled appeal to avenge imagined dishonor by Gil. Some BS about fast tracking Kwan to MLB via the Valley. It shouldn’t take Kwan long to see that Luke is all hat and no cowboy.

Serious question to Henry, if you’re still reading our dreck: How have you envisioned Valley Tech in your new Thorpiverse? You’ve put it in Milford, along with Milford High. Is the parochial school, St. Fabian, still there too? Is Valley Tech a trade school? STEM magnet school? Public or private? If public, where did the money for this trip come from? Did the basketball team really sell that many donuts?

Your Moment of Minutiae: Nice to see some baseball unis that aren’t a bunch of repetitive pastels or splashes of red on areas that weren’t meant to be colored. Getting a nice, stark White Sox vibe from them. I’ve not watched much KBO League action compared to Japanese ball, but I’ve seen enough to know that players can have triple digit uniform numbers (rendered in Arabic characters).



  1. “…let me talk to him..”..haha…go on, with yer’ bad self, skippy…but don’t act like your true self, because if you do, then there’s no effin’ way that this kid pulls up his stakes to go play baseball in a tank-town like CC, where there might be like what? 1, maybe 2, other Korean families. And a new culture too? All because coach cowboy hat here makes some bullshit promises? I don’t think so. Kim is jagoff too, siccin’ this guy on one of his family members. Please…let’s expand on the Mimi/golf/girlfriend story a little bit more.

    Comment by franku2016 — May 17, 2023 @ 11:43 am

  2. Prologue: Since we’re discussing travel to Asia, I have a co-worker who just got back from visiting family in her native Philippines. Get this – She had to fly ORF–> DFW HND MNL which would be bad enough by itself, but THEN from Manila she had to TAKE AN EIGHT-HOUR BUS TRIP TO GET TO HER HOMETOWN(!!) You add in the layovers, security checks and customs and we’re talking 36+ hours of continuous travel one-way… And then when she came back she only stayed out ONE day before returning to work! Can you even imagine how jet-lagged she would be??

    1. God help us, here comes Lucha Libre’s winning sales pitch. I know he has to say something good because Rod Barajas wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble just to have LL come up empty-handed; and we know he’s not stupid enough to mention his vendetta against Gilberto so what’s it going to be? “Come to America and be truly great?” or “If you’ve got a thing for vapid teenage flaxen-haired American girlies with perky nipples and tight waistlines, then you’re going to LOVE Milford?”

    2. “Let me talk to him,” said the guy who doesn’t even speak the fucking lingua… Good luck with that, Buckaroo.

    3. This is not the “Midnight Cowboy + M*A*S*H*” crossover anybody was asking for…


    5. I’m going to keep asking who’s paying for this trip until I get an answer…

    6. I’m going to keep asking how the hell a Korean teenager is just going to uproot himself and everything he’s known to go to a smalltown American high school until I get an answer.

    7. I feel really, really sorry for whichever loyal hardworking Valley Tech pitcher is getting dumped from the rotation by this ringer just so Lucha Libre can stroke his rageboner for Gilberto…

    8. Help me out here – Would this Korean kid even be eligible to play?? Aren’t there rules in pretty much every state that you have to be a resident in the school district for X amount of time before being eligible to play for said high school?

    9. Help me out here – Mr. Cy Young (or shall we call him “Si Yung”?) and his family DO realize that all that’s being offered here is at best lateral move, right? Lucha Libre isn’t dangling an MLB contract or even a full college scholarship – Hell, LL isn’t even offering a chance to play for a high-profile nationally-known high school program(!) So somebody PLEASE tell me his incentive… PLEASE tell me what cards Lucha Libre can play here. What would ever persuade this kid to leave?

    10. Because it deserves saying again: FUCK YOU COACH KIM YOU LITTLE BOOTLICKING SHITSTAIN! You know damn well what kind of psychotic madman you’re about to deliver your cousin to, and once he’s served his purpose sacrificing his talent and mental health serving as an expendable foot soldier in the Lucha-Gilberto Wars he’s going to be chewed up and spat out…

    11. Can we please just go back to DeeDee and Keri fighting to the death like those two girl scouts in the bar scene from “Airplane!”?

    Comment by hitorque — May 17, 2023 @ 12:01 pm

  3. This entire scenario does seem a little far-fetched, especially the part about how transfer student requirements work. Of course, Rubin never let a silly little thing like facts get in the way of a good story, like when Gil used that bullshit shyster lawyer, HVB, to strong-arm the district school board into letting an athlete who lived out-of-district play for Gil because “..every student deserves a good education…”. Yeah, sure lady. In real life, it would have been more like “…too fuckin’ bad kid…too fuckin’ bad Gil….move his ass into an apartment in Milford…and tell that cunt, Hadley V. Baxendale, esquire, that we have lawyers too and that we will be more than happy to put her in touch with them…”

    Comment by franku2016 — May 17, 2023 @ 1:48 pm

  4. Teenchy, that dude in P2 is talking as if he’s even heard of Mayberry. Like Milford is the topic of the day at the Gwangju Hardee’s?

    Like Myra Fleener said in Hoosiers “You won’t even find it on a lot of state maps.”

    Comment by tdrewhardin — May 17, 2023 @ 7:41 pm

  5. Spoiler alert: I was wrong.

    Comment by teenchy — May 18, 2023 @ 5:36 am

  6. I didn’t spot it either, but if we read P2 carefully we should have.

    Comment by Downpuppy — May 18, 2023 @ 7:58 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: