This Week in Milford

May 10, 2018

You’re Out of Order, Bader!

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The Mets got busted for batting out of order yesterday and the Twittersphere had fun with it.

Screenshot-2018-5-10 Dyllmonger on Twitter

What’s Gil’s excuse? His lineup card reads 1-2-x-x-6-7-8-9-10. Let’s zoom in on it:

510lineupcard

Most of these guys are Milford’s usual suspects:

1. Mike Filion was the Mudlark’s undersized QB last fall

2. Barry Bader, well, you know him. Still showing zero signs of maturation

x. Andre Ruffin knows how to host a party

x. Pete DeWindt has been here since, like, forever

6. The same could be said for Paul Beaudry

7. Pelwecki has long worn out his welcome. His Rosie the Riveter pose pales in comparison to Lucky Haskins’ but he’s feeling it*

8. Jorge Padilla, like his MLB namesake, is an outfielder (or some new position, CH). We’ll find out if that skinny kid can jump and rob hitters of homers

9. We get the classic name Hiawatha James and it’s the only one Whigham can’t write out? Lazy!

10. Larry Arroyo was introduced to us as a non-Pelwecki sub for Barry Bader but now he’s a pitcher third baseman – that is, if he’s the same guy

May River has to be a long ride from Milford; maybe that’s why Gil’s lineup card is so wonky. Bluffton (home of May River High) has become known in recent years as an affordable alternative to nearby Beaufort and Charleston for Yankee retirees. Maybe Mr. Bakst or some other Milfordians have moved there and will form a home away from home crowd for the Mudlarks. Play ball!

*Note Pelwecki is written in at DH, but no pitcher is named; Arroyo, batting last, is at 3B (oops – teenchy)

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April 27, 2018

At least there’s a hottie in this thread

Filed under: huge earrings, Milford Weirdos, Pantheon of Hair — robmize2013 @ 6:42 pm

… aand that would be in P2, but first we have an insensitive remark by Paul Beaudry in P1, basically saying good thing Barrys dad is safely in jail where he belongs. Who gives a crap about his life and how its affecting his family?

P2 has Dafne pondering – hey, maybe I care. But I dont care in the way I should – I care because I need to snoop around the Bader house as well as that smelly jail and get the lowdown on the whole backstory of the storyline we went through 2 years ago. And I’m gonna have my smokin hot body with my huge earrings and sleek hairstyle in as many panels as I can these next 2 months. And if that means Pelweki and his assinine launch angle crap is shoved down the nearest toilet asap, so be it. Matter of fact, I’d like to make the first flush. Hey, I’ll have one of the baseball players smash that bat he’s wielding right between his legs. Then when he’s explainin  that crappola it will come out about 3 octaves higher.

And who cares if we never play a ballgame between the boys and girls- between me and Marjie Ducey we can carry this strip to June by ourselves and actually let the readers enjoy themselves for a change. Who needs all these other douchbags?

I’m liking this storyline; we have a dumb male, and a smart female; and the dumb male will only be filler for the smart females adventures in discovering the real reasons for what happened that fateful night 2 years ago when Boo Radley became the sad answer to a trivia question.

 

April 26, 2018

Les Expos(ition) sont là

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Hope y’all like exposition ’cause today’s strip is nothing but.

I guess the Padillas are going to stick around in Milford for the rest of the school year. It may be interesting to see what magical baseball skills Jorge’s endowed with*, and whether Marty Moon will make on-air comparison between him and one of baseball’s Puerto Rican greats.

Paul Beaudry finally gets a face, and it’s Amy Lange’s. Speaking of faces, we haven’t seen Barry Bader’s since the end of the spring/summer 2016 arc. We only saw him in profile and at a distance last season. Wonder if he’ll stay on model?

Help me out with the English grammar in P3, please: Is Carrie describing the Del Bader/Boo Radley/unidentified pickup truck driver who dropped a CD incident correctly? Or does that read like Father Bader killed a girl who was driving drunk?

*Remember, he’s already had a cup of coffee with the Nats. On that topic, the inspiration for the post title:

 

September 23, 2017

Transition into Ambition

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Today we learn that The Secret Pelwecki will share linebacking duties with an internationally-known professor of economics (or maybe a bassist) who is currently on leave from his day job. If Pelwecki is to be a right guard/linebacker/fullback/butt of jokes (or, in Milfordese, RG/LB/FB/BOJ!) why is he getting reps at QB? Even more curiously, why is he wearing True Standish’s number? (BTW that link also shows an instance of Gil actually using a fullback.) You might think Gil would’ve retired that jersey and put it in a littlefreelibrary shrine on campus.

So: a bunch of slow receivers too small to play tight end. A small, scrappy, quick quarterback. A couple of decent offensive linemen, one of whom will occasionally line up at fullback. What kind of offense will Gil put on the field this fall? Speculate away.

December 31, 2016

Up and Downsville

Filed under: actual action, basketball, big arms, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 3:13 pm

A few years ago I was at a local town meeting about some issue, and my neighbor down the street stood up and said “I dont want to have the last word but…” but he did as nobody else spoke and the meeting adjourned. Well it looks like I have the last word for 2016.

The Downsville Eagles are a real high school team in Downsville New York, so the Larks either boarded a plane or else that bus smelled pretty raunchy from the long trip with unis on. Hopefully Aaron stayed for the New Years party at Times Square after the game; I know all-nighters are a thing for him so why not practice what you’re good at? Maybe Ryan Seacrest needs the night off and AA can host.

Then they play boring ol Tilden in the Valley and AA is back to his C game. Coaches cant figure it out; the answer will be revealed by May, but already if you’re not fed up with looking at this weirdo you’re in the minority.

And yeah he scored 18 blah blah but did they win? I know plenty of guys who scored a lot and their teams were under .500 for their career. Pete Maravich in the NBA was a great example. In his 8 full seasons his team had 1 winning record. One. And LSU never made the NCAA tourney while he was scoring 44 points a game for 3 seasons. Yes I know it was harder back then to make the field but still, winning basketball is more then 1 guy racking in all the points. Wilt always outscored Russell but who had more rings? You think I didnt get tired of watching Michael score 35 a game for the Bulls and go 0-9 in the playoffs before he figured out if he shared the ball they’d win more? 6 banners in the United Center tell that tale.

Yeah good thing Paul Beaudry got hot. Why are the coaches worried about who scores how many? I had said before that defense is more important anyway in hoops. With those wings AA should be blocking shots like Akeem the Dream or Ewing  back in the day. Thats what you do when the shots arent falling. But he gets alligator arms like in the commercial with the check on the table.. and I can see him enjoying that duck too!

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