This Week in Milford

May 10, 2021

The Zane Clark Show With Special Guest Bobby Bittman

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Gil Thorp, Tilden — nedryerson @ 6:40 am

This strip might be the most whiplash inducing actual action strip ever. We start with two panels from last weeks game at Crockett (with no final score or hint of a win or loss) and the final panel is from three games later against Tilden. Clearly, the center of attention for this four game stretch is Zane Clark with his ups and downs. The other pitchers in the starting rotation and the outcomes of games take a back seat to the Zane Clark story.

Does Gil coach first base? Is that him in panel 3, high fiving awkwardly? Why does he have a jersey with an M on the back and not a number. I can’t remember if coaches jerseys have had numbers in Gil Thorp or in high school ball in general. I just think the M looks weird, whether it’s Gil or somebody else. Whoever he is, he’s pretty small compared to Eldrick Boston.

Since this strip covers four games, I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to hang around at the Milford Public Library and the Milford Library Board meetings.

Say, speaking of libraries, here’s a word from one of our old TWIM favorites, Bobby Bittman, on the value of libraries, or libarries if you will:

April 6, 2022

Next Stop: Donut Town. Population: Two.

That box o’ donuts Heather brought Gil yesterday looked like it came from Donut Town. Wonder if Guy Fieri ever stopped in there? Marjie never brought Gil donuts. She never sat that close to Gil, either. No way they’re not playing footsie or more under the desk. Look at those enormous mitts on Heather; they’re as big as Gil’s. No wonder Gil put her in at tight end.

Aren’t you glad the last couple days of incoherence got settled? Wilson Henry is the catcher. Gregg Hamm is one of the pitchers. As for the rest of Neal’s friends on the Mudlark roster, where have we seen them before?

Gonzalo “Gonzo” Aceves, Dallas George and Curtis Charles return from last season. So, for that matter, do Morton Levi (who was a relief pitcher last season), Eldrick Boston, the aforementioned Wilson Henry and “Blowtop” Chance Macy, who has been around since forever. Go to Canada already! Nomar Ramos played basketball this past season, and Steve Lehto played football. Second base is our midweek cliffhanger.

Zane Clark has graduated. Wonder if he’s still on the library board.

In any event, a veteran roster, one with experience in underachieving. Time to sit back and watch the underachieving unfold. Pass me a donut, willya?

March 9, 2022

Exile on Thorp St.

Filed under: exposition comics, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — teenchy @ 8:43 am

Gentle readers, I will profess up front (if I haven’t already) that basketball is not my sport. When one is built like a white Kirby Puckett, one tends to avoid situations where height is a benefit. While that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy watching it – especially this time of year – it does mean that I’m not as well versed in the subtelties of the game as I could be.

I say this because yesterday’s comments gave me food for thought. Faithful TWIMer Downpuppy brought up the point that in today’s basketball, assigned position doesn’t matter as much as skill sets.* In that light, Mimi’s agreement to give Junior Birdgirl Hollis Talley some playing time at guard makes some sense. What makes less sense is that Mimi didn’t do that earlier in the season and only at Birdgirl’s prompting. The casual onlooker might think the lunatics are running the asylum.

Contrast Mimi’s approach to Gil’s. Bobby Bittman Pranit Smith is back in the halls of Milford High, but not on the Mudlarks. Is that Trevor Lawrence lookalike Gabe Landau he’s high-fiving? If so, Trevor’s bulked up a good bit since the start of the season. (That, or Pranit Hollywood has shrunk physically as well as psychologically.) Begs the question why Gil needed Gordon Achebe on the team.

Oh, now I get it. Once Kaz caught Pranit checking scores, Gil knew that he was gonna have to kick Pranit off the team eventually. Once Gordon dimed Pranit out, Gil had his opportunity. Like Hollis, Gordo gets to play a dual role: not forward and guard, but muscle and snitch.

*edit: It wasn’t so long ago, during the winter of Our National Disgrace, that Gil had to deal with a lineup with two tall guys, a bunch of short guys, and no one in between. Mimi should have been paying attention.

December 22, 2021

Low Budget? Wanna Bet?

Who orders tea at the Coffee Cantina? Pranit Smith, that’s who.

Full Pantheon of Hair trifecta today with Tevin’s (that’s still Tevin, innit?) Esquerita ‘do, Pranit rocking the Bobby Bittman and Trevor Lawrence-looking guy looking all Trevor Lawrence-y. Pranit’s rationale for going with the cheap option makes sense…

…but opens the door to speculation. Trevor’s Spidey-sense must be tingling.

Money’s tight for the Smiths, but Pranit is good at assembling and managing a fantasy football team. If he can raise the stakes while maintaining his level of success, maybe he can help augment the Smith family income. Maybe he’ll try to push his luck into other forms of sports gambling. But where will he find the funds to take that plunge?

This is where the Central City Mob steps in. Next thing you know, he’ll get involved in a point-shaving scandal, tanking shots to help make Milford lose or to keep Milford wins close. Nah, that would assume people bet on Valley hoops, which assumes that people are interested in Valley hoops. More than likely he’ll get in deeper in a fantasy football league, where his luck will run out. His contribution to the Mudlarks’ downfall will come via a kneecapping which will come after he can’t pony up his gambling debts.

October 27, 2021

Say “Wing-T” again. I dare you. I double-dare you…

Alright alright alright, a second day of action after a week of hypnosis and it’s not trying to cram multiple games in one strip. Pinch me, I’m dreaming. Let’s get to it and break down the film:

P1: In the visitors locker room at New Thayer, a dismayed Kaz either is grasping for a second-half strategy or trying to figure out why Tevin has a Black head but a White arm. If the Mudlarks run the play he’s drawn up, they’ll get flagged for an illegal formation (too few men on the line of scrimmage) and an ineligible receiver downfield (a lineman, really?).

P2: If the New Thayer QB had as much time in the pocket as it took me to figure out if he was getting rushed by DeEldrick Boston or DE Eldrick Boston, he should’ve gotten the pass off with plenty of time to spare. Pretty sure it’s the latter, as we were introduced to Eldrick as the starting first baseman as a sophomore in 2020 and he was giving the chicks something to dig back in the spring. That should make Eldrick a senior by now and no doubt he wants to impress those college scouts Chance Macy’s been ignoring.

P3: One of the reasons Milford’s trailing at the half is that New Thayer’s been loading up the box against the Delaware Wing-T. Gil tests Tevin’s memory of rage comic memes or How I Met Your Mother catchphrases, and Tevin passes with flying colors. Now let’s see if Boyd’s hyp-mo-sis helps Tevin get the ball into his receivers’ hands. Might help if those receivers start looking the ball into said hands.

June 17, 2019

How Cool Is This? Too.

Filed under: huge earrings, TCFS — nedryerson @ 6:12 am

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This season has really put us through the ringer. However, just when you thought it was safe to drink a hard lemonade and enjoy some golf shenanigans, here come the PLAYDOWNS! Well, maybe we will see playdowns, as in actual sports competition on the field. We might just see more of this panel 3 nonsense: Too Cool randos (bagel salesmen, screenwriters, bowlers, etc.) paying homage to the softball champs.

Shout out to the two Lady Mudlarks (probably Jamila and unknown teammate with a feminine take on the Bobby Bittman hairstyle). You got three panels to tell a story of pleasant surprise that the school follows the softball team (and model a weirdly childish backpack with a frog or bear or something.) But your glory is shortlived as we had to go right back to TCFS. Which TCFS dude is holding the HISTORY 101 textbook? Did we meet him before or is he a very successful teenage worm farmer or other Too Cool feature?

 

 

 

September 9, 2014

Eyes Wide Shut

Filed under: football, Milford Idiots, What the hell is going on here? — timbuys @ 5:15 am

September 9, 2014

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First things, first: I never got around to seeing that movie. I am simply amused by True’s mannerism wherein he apparently bashfully closes his eyes to emphasize his humble ‘aw-shucks’ approach to this crazy life we call Milford.

Other thoughts? It doesn’t appear that Tip is in fact going for a Bobby Bittman look with his hair, but never mind that as I am in awe of his stilted dialogue. Hey, should True know who Jarrod is? I guess not so it’s a good thing Tip said his full name.

What’s going on in panel two? Ah, I see we were all going on two. Now, what comes after two? According to my three year old, seven. But here in Milford, after two comes panel three and… I guess what’s happening is that Art is examining a sheaf of carpet swatches while True, who is now an elf apparently, confirms Art’s fears that Gil has no intention of exploiting True for their mutual benefit.

September 8, 2014

BurgerTime

Filed under: exposition comics, freak hands, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 3:45 am

9/8/14
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These prairie windows are running amok here at Milford High! Also, kids, don’t forget to READ, preferably papery things but blogs count as reading too.

Hey, look, it’s Tip Nunn and Silent John Pascoe, who have been working out all summer with Saad Shamoun, teaching him so much and adding twenty pounds of muscle to him. Hey, remember when Tip Nunn had a Bobby Bittman haircut? What happened? What hair is the Tipster sporting now, a modified Alan Thicke? On the topic of hair, True Standish looks to be taking styling cues from the late, great fake quarterback, George Plimpton, via Alan Alda.

Also featured today: some meaty fingers, a surplus of hamburgers, Nunnish jibba jabba and some girl in the background of panel one glancing at us over her own Milford High burger. Do you know why burgers are so popular in Milford? Allow Jules Winnfield to enlighten you:

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