This Week in Milford

November 12, 2016

Pete DeWindt, Healing Nicely

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Marty Moon, Trainer Rick Scott — nedryerson @ 10:13 am

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Why, hey there, Marty! Aren’t you a handsome devil?! What’s this about a clock? 4-1-1? Thanks for the info, Marty!

Meanwhile, over at Milford High, Coach Gil Thorp and Trainer Rick Scott do an informative walk-and-talk. Pete DeWindt is going to the doctor, and Gil is thinking positively.

Pete, you’re gonna be fine, but you’ll have to sit the rest of the season. It’s okay. I hear they have a girl TE now, and that’s great…along with Wiebe & Ruffin out there. It’ll be fine.

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August 1, 2018

Pokey’s Got A Great Short Game. And You Oughta See Prickle Putt

Filed under: Gil Thorp — tdrewhardin @ 4:02 pm

 

 

 

Man o Man, Thorpiverse. Did you walk into this one. ANYTHING YOU WANT TO WORK ON? Where’d my laundry list go?

And is Gil going to be working with these PGA wannabes? Oh, THAT will be interesting. Is he going to be instructing his daughter at the same time?

“Keri, after you use that wood to drive down the fairway, would you make Daddy happy and go get that ball Wilson shanked in the woods? I’ll give you a Klondike bar at the clubhouse for every ball you find. I think it’s behind the lilac bush. Watch the hornets, honey. I think there’s a nest nearby in that catalpa tree.”

Who is Milford’s version of The Green Hornet and Kato? No wonder why the show didn’t last very long. And we only have one month, gang. If we’re microwaving this one, the brunt of this one should be around August 15ish. That’s about the only chance Heather has a chance to rise up a la Barnabas Collins and make the key adjustment that’ll wrap things up by August 31, assuming the football season starts on schedule in September. Assuming. But Flex-a-Plot has been implemented before.

“KEEP YOUR WRISTS STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S AUGUST 21ST AND FOOTBALL’S AROUND THE CORNER!!!!!!!! CAN YOU AT LEAST EXECUTE THE BALL DROP RIGHT FOR ONCE!!!!!!!!!!”

Easy, Heather. We can always push football to Monday nights with Frank, Howard, and Dandy Don.

 

And gang, many golf course clubhouses have only one floor. I’ve yet to run into too many skyscrapers around the greens. Did you ever see a golf course designed next to the Empire State Building or World Trade Center? Rest my case. So when Joe Jawor(JAW-er? JAH-wer? Juh-WAR? Short for a Punjabi surname, Eljarpradeshikhaghajaworbhupaltusharonamalil? Check the Milford White Pages on the last one) is talking with our August-replenishers about their golf game, I’m going to bet Gil’s coif they’re on the 1st floor. If they’re on the 2nd floor, no way puddles could be that humongous. Or maybe the window is one big magnifying glass. Yeah, that explains it.

And the angle is soooooooo ridiculous. Awright, Thorpiverse, I’ll buy the fact that Anderson Windows has a new line of enlargement windows, some being tested at the Milford Geodesic Dome designed by none other than R. Buckminster Fuller. But geez, am I to believe that the Milford Sewer Department elevated the sidewwalk for their monthly rat purging?

 

If ya install an Anderson Enlargement Creation in yore Chevy 4-wheeler because it gives ya an edge on yore buddies cuz it works better ‘n’ a scope on yore rifle when youse trackin’ down that 8-point buck in the woods, ya might be a redneck.

 

Then there’s the Gumby pants that Joe Gandhi is wearing in P3. Yup, Gumby has his own collection of Haggar slacks and if you watched closely, you could see his belt buckle and stitching, not to mention the plumber’s butt when he was talking or arguing or conferring or plotting with Pokey or lining up a putt. Gang, I don’t know about you but I am smelling FILLER big time.

“Hey, Gumby. Your fly is open.”

“Oh my! Thanks, Goo.”

 

GUMBY!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT GUMBY CAN DO TODAY

GUMBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE CAN PLAY WITH A FOURSOME AND MAKE ‘EM PAY

GUMBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE CAN WALK ONTO ANY COURSE WITH HIS PONY PAL POKEY TOOOOOO

IF YOU CAN MAKE PAR, THEN GUMBY WILL BET WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And Thorpiverse wants you to THINK those are puddles. But how do we know a couple of Mudlarks didn’t get gunned down in a drive-by shooting? Some people take their sports a little too seriously and a couple of names that got well-worn in the Milford Sports scene got phased out. Maybe that’s why we haven’t heard from Pete DeWindt or Hiawatha James in a while. I can hear that Tupac song now

 

How many Mudlarks fell victim to the streets

Helpless in this plot that crashed in all the heat

I’d be lyin’ if I told you that there’s any hope this month

Gang, we just play the hunch

 

And SINCE WHEN has Gil been in charge of the Junior Golf Program at the Milford Country Club? Who died and made him Jordan Spieth? The only Rorscharch association we have EVER made of Gil with golf is either his own game or the practice with his children. And, Joe and Gil, I hate to break it to you but unless Tony has been going to school on the Spaceship Enterprise learning Vulcan, HOW CAN HE BE WORKING ON HIS GRADES IF IT’S AUGUST 1ST AND SCHOOL IS STILL OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But keep practicing with your kids, Gil. We’ll look the other way on this one. Sure, Junior Golf Director. Has a nice ring to it. Good resume builder in case I decide to call back Powell College about that coaching job.

“You still need work on the umlauts before I can pass you and get you off the ship in time for that Tournament.”

 

“And Tony Paul sinks one for an eagle!!!!!!!!!! Those extra practices with Heather are paying off!!!!!!!! And we’ll take a break at this point. Tony is 1-under after 13 and still in the lead. And this is Marty Moon. You’re listening to WDIG, a division of Lear Field Sports.”

 

“Oh, Rick, you sexy thing, let’s get it on!!!!!!!!!!” as Rick Scott’s wife reveals her bra and underwear. The song “I Believe in Miracles” by Hot Chocolate is blaring from the bedstead. Rick is caught off guard, reading the August issue of the Milford Medical Journal.

“Uh, Honey, this article is fascinating. It talks about the sciatic nerve being the link between Homo Erectus and the Neanderthal Man.”

I’d like somebody else to be Homo Erectus and it’s DEFINITELY not the Neanderthal Man.”

(Rick, buying time, looks at watch) “Oh my goodness. One of the baseball players called and said this plot needs a makeover. Plus, he needed his knee rebandaged from ACL surgery. I better go over to the Athletic Annex.”

“Rick, I really don’t know how to break this to you but it’s 1:00AM”

(Looks at watch) “I knew I should have never bought these Rolexes at the K-Mart Buy One Get One Free Clearance Special.”

“Rick, Rick, Rick, put away the magazine and let’s make a little magic.”

“Oh, darn, I need to go the Emergency Clinic. One of the football players hyperventilated and collapsed in Gil’s office. It was touch and go for a while.”

“Rick, does your wee-wee need to be taped up?”

“NO!!!!!!!!!! Don’t go near my medical bag!!!!!!!! I’m as hard as the coconuts on Gilligan’s Island!!!!!! I can jump on you just as soon as look at you!!!!!!!”

“Then jump.”

 

“And that was the problem. It was like jumping in the Milford Municipal Pool with the diving board missing. And the diving board was more pliable than me. But at Milford Men’s Clinic, they have treatment programs that make me an Olympic Champion. What are you waiting for? GO FOR THE GOLD!!!!!!!!!! And jump right in!!!!!!!!!”

 

Oops! Gang, I forgot to mention a plug I would like to make for Donut Frenzy in Georgetown, Indiana(a few minutes up the hill from New Albany, Indiana). They are just starting out and they made an excellent impression with me. Long Johns, cream-filled pastries, glazed donuts, and several other varieties made it hard to choose the ones I wanted to chow down on(a pleasant problem INDEED). I wasn’t disappointed, munchin’ on several going home, then cleaning out the box at home. Gang, if you’re in the area, check ’em out. Support small businesses in America. They’re what MAKE America.

 

Fire away, gang. I’m still perplexed how anyone could have a tutor on the fairway. I’ve heard of student-athlete but that’s stretching things a bit too far.

 

Barry, Krogering at the Milford Kroger Filling Station

“Whattya mean cash or credit card only? I can’t use my WIC card????? I’m penniless since my dad went to the can.”

July 10, 2018

Eyesight for the Belligerent

Filed under: huge earrings, Milford Idiots, song parody, What the hell is going on here? — tdrewhardin @ 1:08 pm

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Captain Gilbert didn’t come home

His unborn child will never know him

He’s believed to be missing with a couple of men

They planted 8 bombs inside the gymmmmmmm

 

It’s a boy, Mrs. Gilbert

It’s a boy

 

It’s a boy, Mrs. Gilbert

It’s a boy

 

Hear the joyful celebration in the street

It’s a boy the day we won the Final Heat

 

And gang, I think you know where I’m going with this. After watching “Barry: The Musical” and still thinking Daffy is still Queen of Sleaze, what was Barry expecting? To clear his name up IN THE MILFORD ENQUIRER?????? No, Daffy, I did not get on that UFO with Elvis. I was down at the Milford Moose Lodge with The King seeing if he could revive his career at the Annual Chili Cook-Off and Raffle Ticket Night. Man, some lucky cat was going to have the time of his or her life listening to “Don’t Be Cruel”, “Heartbreak Hotel” and “Suspicious Minds” and drive away in a brand new Cadillac, courtesy of Milford Motors. But no, your story killed his career. Thanks for nothing.

Then there’s Ms. Rizk. Aside from going back to the Granny from Beverly Hillbillies look, she’s gone from calling things straight down the middle to being Ebenezer Scrooge. The Baders are asking for mercy after you sent them through the meat grinder? Humbug! Serves them right!!!! I’m going to call the deputy sheriff and foreclose their house anyway. We’re going to turn it into the Milford High School Journalism Annex by the end of the year!!!!!!

I would like to give a shoutout to Heather Sanders in Louisville, Kentucky.  She may be confined to a wheelchair but her humor isn’t. She is VERY funny and keeps me going with her edgy wit and on-point insight. She makes my job easier and I have promised her that I will do EVERYTHING I can to get her in the next movie my dad does (my dad being a part-time actor). Heather, I intend to keep that promise. Right now, you are shining pretty bright because you deserve a moment in the spotlight. Keep the funny bone pipeline going because, well. YOU’RE FUNNY. YOU ROCK, My Friend.

 

Marty: Gotta feeling ’17 is gonna be a good year

Baseball season’s done and we can putt forever

Mimi: I had no reason to be overoptimistic

But with your 3-handicap, it’s a great endeavor

 

Captain Gilbert, smelly gym towel over the left side of his burned face, after a hard-fought overtime victory over Death, sees Marty and Mimi in bed.

Marty wakes up. Grabbing the 2014 trophy off Mimi’s makeup table, he wacks Captain Gilbert on the right side of the face, careful not to ruin the perm Captain Gilbert has sported for 60 years.

Barry, fresh from sneaking a sip of Cherry 7-Up out of the fridge, wiping the top so that nobody’ll get germs, steps in just as his father’s hair morphs into Hendrix from “Band of Gypsies”.

WHAT ABOUT THE BOY

WHAT ABOUT THE BOY

WHAT ABOUT THE BOY

HE SAW IT ALL

 

You didn’t see it

You didn’t hear it

Not a word of it

Not a sight of it

You’re gonna turn into a jerk

WITHOUT ANY PROOF

 

Now he’s deaf

Now he’s dumb

Now he’s a jerk

The guilty are safe

But always accused

By his asshole ways

 

What’s with this Betty Crocker motivational tool? I can see the commercial.

“Yes, what better way to preclude your friend from using a toilet plunger on a person’s reputation than to discuss the matter over buttermilk scones and tea? Mmm, mmm, and those sourdough biscuits buttered with Blue Bonnet on it tastes better than the stuff you have to swallow about your husband, coming from an amateur Ida Tarbell? Mrs. Olson should be coming in anytime and discussing Mr. Olson and Mr. Whipple (apparently they’re squeezing more than Charmin) having an affair with each other. Yes, Daffy, they’re coming out of the closet so have paper and Paper-Mate ready. After you’ve eaten your 10th sourdough, naturally. Set ’em at 350 and the gossip too and forget it. That’s the Betty Crocker way (“Cooking with Pam” theme whistling in the background)!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“Can’t you see the Christmas lights and all the toys that are so wonderfully enlightening

The Nike shoes, the bats, the balls, I swear it gets to be so terribly frightening

And Barry doesn’t know what day it is

He’s such a jerk, he doesn’t know who Jesus is

HOW CAN HE BE SAVED

FROM LOSING SECOND BASE

 

BARRY, CAN YOU HEAR ME??????? as Mimi whacks Barry with a bat.

 

And has anyone seen Ms. Rizk ANYWHERE but the Journalism room? We assume she takes potty breaks. We assume. And we assume she’s typing, or editing the school newspaper. All this time she’s been typing billet-doux’s to Luhm and  he’s cramming them into his locker at night? Anyway, I haven’t seen her down at the Milford Burger King ordering a Double Beef Whopper and unsalted fries. Or at a car show at the Milford Civic Center parking lot. Still glued to the chair along with Chris Elliott’s parents on “Get a Life”, I see. At least she isn’t in her bathrobe.

Gang, I realize Tommy is overshadowing Daffy today. She will have her day in court. Right now, I’m wagering nobody’s going to put up much resistance to the “DIE IF YOU WANT TO, YOU MISGUIDED PUPPET” approach, long-overdue at that, to Barry Bader. I’m wagering. I only make so much in my paycheck, gang, after taxes.

 

Barry, can you hear me?

Can you feel me near you?

Barry, can you see me?

Can I help to cheer you?

Ohhhhhh, Barry, Barry, Barry…

 

He seems to be completely unreceptive

The love I gave him makes no sense at all

Dale Carnegie is not in his demeanor

He pukes at Albert Schweitzer’s love and calllllll

 

SEE ME

FEEL ME

PLAY ME

ADORE ME

 

SEE ME

FEEL ME

LICK ME

WORSHIP ME

 

There is no chance, no untried operation

All hope lies with him and none with me

Imagine though the shock from isolation

When he suddenly owns up to reality.

 

At the Milford Girls-A-Go-Go Club, Mimi Thorp answers the sign out front that says “Taking applications. Must be 18 or older.” Figuring she still has time before the Playdowns start in August(they’re just doing a light workout today anyway plus some bunting drills), she swings the SUV into the place. Just because they play softball on the 4th of July  doesn’t mean they pay time and a half so Mimi is always up for the extra income.

“Next.”

Mimi Thorp follows the secretary to Al DeWindt’s office. He’s the Personnel Manager.

Al peruses the application. He eyes the “Reason for Leaving” section and notices that she left it blank for her employment at Milford Burger King.

“Why did you quit Burger King?”

Mimi really doesn’t know how to lie. So she confesses.

“I was 16 years old at the time and I told the manager I knew how to make a Whopper. I wanted to impress my friends so I had at it. I slapped on Mel Purnell’s Whole Hog Hot ‘n’ Spicy Sausage patties instead of ground beef because I wasn’t paying attention, then I put the wrong pickles on the sandwich, I should have used Vlasic, plus I spread too much Hellman’s, I used a paintbrush instead of a spatula, then the lettuce was too brown and it was wilting like my husband’s wim-wim, and I stuck a slice of Swiss cheese because I swear to God I couldn’t find American even though the manager insisted they were behind the ice machine and when a few customers complained to the-”

“Ooooooooookkkkkkkk,” convinced that her crime has reached the statute of limitations, having 33 more applicants to interview, “Mrs. Thorp, you don’t have any problem showing your tits?”

“I used to tell my girls on the basketball team to give 110% effort, no matter what the scoreboard says. If that’s the job description, I will let it all hang out and dive for loose balls with everything I’ve got. I’ll have a lot of floor burns on me at the end of the night.”

DeWindt writes “very mature” on the check-off list. He adds “could be performing Christmas show with the 2 ex-Rockettes.”

“Are you willing to work overtime? Sometimes the New Thayer Moose Lodge holds their annual convention over at the Milford Ramada and a few of ’em head our way. They can get a little rowdy.”

“No rowdier than that crowd at Tilden. A lot of people were throwing coins, chewing gum, program ads, and candy bar wrappers at our girls but when we beat them in triple overtime, we got our revenge. Plus, Gil is hiring on as a bouncer so I don’t foresee any problems.”

“You do know we’re Union? Milford AFL-CIO Local 808? You have a problem with that?”

“I don’t see why I would. Unions have a Right to Peaceful Assembly according to The Constitution. I don’t mind gettin’ it on next to the Union steward on stage. We will show our boobs as a sign of solidarity.”

DeWindt writes down “Could be possible problem at the bargaining table but not a rabble-rouser”.

“Mrs. Thorp, we’ll start you out at $11.00/hour and give you a 50 cent raise after 30 days. The $500 signing bonus will be broken down into $250 apiece with the 1st installment paid out after 60 days and the remainder paid out after your probationary status ends after 90 days.”

“Are taxes taken out?”

“Yup, Uncle Sam gouges even us strip joints. BTW, can you fit into 9-foot boots, staple jewelry on your boobs and shake that thang? We do ‘Pinball Wizard’ every weekend and the last dancer injured her tits when she accidentally grazed them on a strobe light on the ceiling.”

“SURE”, trying to be an eager beaver. Do everything they tell you. That’s how you move up the corporate ladder. “I have some 9-foot heels I wore at my high school prom. I’m pretty sure they’re out in the garage.”

“Super!!!!!” as DeWindt is trying to hide his curiosity where she got 9-foot heels, let alone why she wore them.

“Well, that’s all the questions I have for now. I will learn everything there is to know about the company.”

“You got the right attitude. All right, be here tomorrow morning in the Training Room at 7:00AM sharp with your photo ID for your name badge and your Social Security Card. Also, bring a red pen so that you can learn how to fill out time sheets. We do EVERYTHING in red.”

 

BARRY CAN YOU HEAR ME

CAN I HELP TO CHEER YOU

BARRY CAN YOU HEAR ME

CAN YOU SEE ME NEAR YOU

OOOOOO, BARRY, BARRY, BARRY as Barry is escorted by Gil the Bouncer after the former wandered into the Club, thinking the ball diamond was on the same latitude. A jerk has a tendency to get his horse latitudes confused(with apologies to The Doors).

 

“OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH, BA-BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND IT’S ALL FOR YOU

NOW COME ON DOWN AND DO WHAT YA GOT TA DO

 

NO!!!! NO!!!!! DON’T LEAVE ME THIS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON’T LEAVE ME THIS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

NO!!!!!!!!!! DON’T LEAVE ME THIS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Doris, can I speak to you for a moment? I want to file a grievance. They’re having the dancers low on the Seniority List doing the Midnight Show.”

 

Daffy runs towards the spaceship set to leave Milford Int’l Airport.

“COACH KAZ!!!!!!!! COACH KAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T GET ON THAT SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT ‘M’ ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN IN THE JOURNALISM ROOM!!!!!!!!! IT MEANS  ‘COOKBOOK’ IN KANAMITESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And Ms. Rizk reveals herself as one of the Kanamits, deftly handling the stilts and the sleeping gas on Kaz, the same sleeping gas that was used on Batman and Robin, indicating that Part One was about to end (The Joker: “How’d I wind up in the Gotham City Correctional Institute? My gang put enough nerve gas on the Dynamic Duo to bring the Statue of Liberty to its knees.”). Coach Kaz is dragged in the ship and the door is sealed and the vehicle heads 29 light-years into outer space, with a potty break on Deneb and lunch at Stuckey’s on Lyra.

“GODDAMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MEAT LOAF AGAIN??????????? THAT’S THE 7TH STRAIGHT DAY I’VE HAD THE STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND DOESN’T ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO DUMP CHEESE INTO KRAFT GARLIC MAC ‘N’ CHEESE?????????????????” as Coach Kaz throws the dinner to the floor in a cubicle roughly equal to the size of Papa Bader’s living quarters.

A 10-foot Kanamit walks in, straight from his game in the 12-foot-and-Under League. picking up dumped merchandise “Coach Kaz, Coach Kaz, PLEASE, there’s no reason for these needless tantrums. We can get the chef to switch to chicken cordon bleu and baked lasagna with tortellini.”

“And can they make Nestea instead of that swill they brew out of the canister in Milford’s cafeteria?

“I don’t see why not.”

“With Nutrasweet?”

“Of course.”

Consider for your speculation a one Coach Kaz, about to be somebody else’s Peanut Buster Parfait at the Kanamit DQ but enjoying The Good Life in his dying days. The parmesan cheese on his steam-fried London broiled steak and vegetables will expunge his fear of being Blizzard Flavor of the Month, Oreo Blizzard, may we add, at the same DQ drive-thru. Tonight’s bill of fare in…The Twilight Zone.

 

Comment away,gang. I’m going to catch the late show at the Go-Go Club. Mimi ought to be entertaining, certainly more than this plot.

 

I’M THE GYPSY

I’M THE ACID QUEEN

I’M GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOUR

BOY A JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“Mimi, you really went to town tonight. I liked how your wedding band bounced so lively between your breasts. And all those beads around your neck.”

“Thanks, Gil. So I heard you had to throw out Mr. Dr. Pearl?”

May 11, 2018

Eleven Sharks a-Whiffin

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Gil Thorp, google nonsense — nedryerson @ 6:24 am

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Here it is folks, actual action! Pete DeWindt is the offensive standout, but it’s a safe bet that he will stay in the shadows. The first panel looks to be one of the 2 driven in by Pete and not Pete himself. Poor Pete.

Ryan Van Auken seems to be in command, but Gil is ready to test out Jay Bhatia’s arm. Is high school ball typically a 9 inning game or is it shortened? Seems like something I should know by now.

Let’s talk a little bit about the May River Sharks.

They have a sweet logo:

 mrsh

Also, they play games in this lovely setting:

That dense stand of tall pines makes a gorgeous backdrop for baseball. I hope the Mudlarks enjoy their sojourn in beautiful South Carolina.

Eta: I didn’t watch that video all the way to the end when I posted it. Now that I have, I keep watching the last 5 seconds over and over and trying to figure out how that ump manages to stride right into the path of the Shark baserunner. Maybe he too was distracted by those trees.

May 10, 2018

You’re Out of Order, Bader!

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The Mets got busted for batting out of order yesterday and the Twittersphere had fun with it.

Screenshot-2018-5-10 Dyllmonger on Twitter

What’s Gil’s excuse? His lineup card reads 1-2-x-x-6-7-8-9-10. Let’s zoom in on it:

510lineupcard

Most of these guys are Milford’s usual suspects:

1. Mike Filion was the Mudlark’s undersized QB last fall

2. Barry Bader, well, you know him. Still showing zero signs of maturation

x. Andre Ruffin knows how to host a party

x. Pete DeWindt has been here since, like, forever

6. The same could be said for Paul Beaudry

7. Pelwecki has long worn out his welcome. His Rosie the Riveter pose pales in comparison to Lucky Haskins’ but he’s feeling it*

8. Jorge Padilla, like his MLB namesake, is an outfielder (or some new position, CH). We’ll find out if that skinny kid can jump and rob hitters of homers

9. We get the classic name Hiawatha James and it’s the only one Whigham can’t write out? Lazy!

10. Larry Arroyo was introduced to us as a non-Pelwecki sub for Barry Bader but now he’s a pitcher third baseman – that is, if he’s the same guy

May River has to be a long ride from Milford; maybe that’s why Gil’s lineup card is so wonky. Bluffton (home of May River High) has become known in recent years as an affordable alternative to nearby Beaufort and Charleston for Yankee retirees. Maybe Mr. Bakst or some other Milfordians have moved there and will form a home away from home crowd for the Mudlarks. Play ball!

*Note Pelwecki is written in at DH, but no pitcher is named; Arroyo, batting last, is at 3B (oops – teenchy)

January 31, 2018

La Junta Is Hanging A Few Banners Themselves

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As we from time to time should mention, it seems like it would be a real bad idea to mess with the real life Pete DeWindt. Dude seems like a really cool guy. Honestly, if I were to happen to turn up in Camarillo (FZ reference time? Nah.), I might make an effort to drop by just to say hi.

Meanwhile, I’m thankful for the narration box across panels two and three because, like Gil, I couldn’t bother to remember Mike’s first name either.

Bonus points: Is Marty wearing French cuffs under his Jim Tresselian garb? Is Gil really wearing a solid black tie over a white shirt with no jacket? That’s kinda bad assed in a New Wavey sortof way.

Minus points: Although it is Actual Action, I am not seeing how panel three is in any way related to anything described in that aforementioned narration box.

Metapost: Today’s late post brought to you, in part, by an overachieving FunRun participant.

FunRun

October 27, 2016

Playing Around with Kaz and Dad

Filed under: Coach Kaz, exposition comics, football, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — teenchy @ 4:35 am

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More exposition (and a whole bunch of double entendres) implying that Daddy Burns has been teaching Heather to catch as well as throw.  I agree with the TWIM hive mind that if the Mudlark braintrust is considering her as TE Pete DeWindt’s replacement they should be finding out if she can block as well. As has also been postulated, maybe Gil will introduce the spread. Can Hakeem or The Secret Pelwecki execute the Mouse Davis run and shoot?

There’s a possible backstory to this father/daughter relationship (besides the usual sports parent living vicariously through his children angle we’re treated to in this strip) that merits exploring but I doubt we’ll get much of it. Instead I’m going to focus on the little things in today’s installment:

1) Our beloved Prairie Style Windows make an appearance in P1, but the oddly proportioned football has my attention. Doesn’t it look like it’s made of milk chocolate and wrapped in tinfoil?

b) Damn them’s some big apples in the Burns kitchen. What kind do you reckon they are?

iii) I’m getting a bit of an Uncle Charley vibe from Daddy Burns in P3. You?

October 20, 2016

Après Moi, Le Pelwecki

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So now Kevin is the fifth-string quarterback, between the Mississippi National Guard and the League of Women Voters. No actual word on who the second-, third- or fourth-stringers are. Also no word as to why The Secret Pelwecki is getting some reps under center. Maybe Gil thought he hadn’t made enough belittling dickish comments for the day.

Finally, no word on how Rick Scott knows how Pete DeWindt hurt himself on that big block. Perhaps he is The Injury Whisperer, much as his new understudy Heather fancies herself The Quarterback Whisperer. I suppose this presages the position switch The Real Pelwecki tipped us off to: not to QB but to TE (as this strip prints it). I’m sure Gil will cook up a play that lets him make a handoff – some kind of reverse or double reverse.

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