This Week in Milford

September 23, 2019

Ease Up, Ballard


The theme of the fall plot so far is: Chet Gotta Chet.

Today we see him camped out on the front porch, waiting to grill Charlie about football practice. (Maybe that’s a rear entrance with a sliding glass door? It seems like a wide opening for a standard door. Look at all those parallel lines: flooring, siding, a multi tiered tiled deck. That’s some serious drafting. Yes, the architectural details are more arresting than the third or fourth occurrence of Chet Ballard’s overbearing parenting.)

I don’t know anything about high school football practice. I always pictured it as a lot of jumping jacks, running and other conditioning, maybe throw in some drills. Y’all are going to have to enlighten me. Of course there must be scrimmaging too with starters getting more reps than back ups. That seems more like a professional thing that can be picked apart all week by the 900 gossipy shows on ESPN. “Eli’s not getting the bulk of reps in practice and he’s sulking in his Porsche!!”

What is revealed is that Charlie is not just ambivalent toward Chet. He’s kind of over it. Maybe he should have a chat with his mom.

August 10, 2018

Ease up .. again??

Filed under: Gil Thorp, oversize objects — robmize2013 @ 5:27 pm

As we sink our teeth into a summer golf story…  2 or 3 strokes is close enough that a double hit could make things interesting. I dont think its weird at all that high school kids are giving each other grief about anything. Thats what they do. And in P3, Gil gives his timeless advice.. I thought the guys were hung up on every thing he said about the game, and all he comes up with is .. Ease up. How does he know they feel bad? All theyre doing is sitting on a bench having a cold one. Its so dumb how emotions are assumed so quickly in this strip, but thats why its only a comic strip and not real life.

October 9, 2017

Ease Up, Connie

Filed under: Boredom in Milford — nedryerson @ 5:27 am


Uncle Gary is really stepping up his game in reprehensible behavior. Chillax, Connie. I’m just manipulating your teenage son by suggesting he might be experiencing symptoms of a potentially debilitating head injury. Jeez, what a nag.

Meanwhile, at the Bucket, Rick seeks reassurance from his teammates. They’re not interested in helping him get a grip on Uncle Gary’s con game. They saw him sing Mack The Knife at the Elk’s Club, so they want an encore at The Bucket, under the hamburger sign.

September 21, 2016

I Wonder How, Linguistically Speaking, Elbow Up Is Related to Ease Up.

Filed under: actual action, football, freak hands, Marty Moon, Mimi Thorp — timbuys @ 7:13 am


Distracted as the Milford WR was by the blaring, levitating Ampeg 6×10 speaker cabinet, I’m not sure we can pin that one entirely upon Hakeem.

Hey, is that Mimi coaching from the sidelines? Perhaps it’s Heather? Will lineman Kevin Pelwecki provide the needed defensive stop?

My goodness, all of these questions! Nothing like some actual actual action to get things going!

June 17, 2013

Ease Up, Joe. It’s Milford

Filed under: freak hands, Milford Idiots — nedryerson @ 7:39 am


That narration box is saying a clunky mouthful. There was a revelation at the deposition… Whose deposition? Joe Jarbo’s deposition, that’s where the revelation was.

Now Joe, ease up on Gil’s dad. He fell and maybe bumped his head or something. Plus, he’s old and probably drinks a lot. The idiots who you should be directing your ire toward are the idiots of the Foley Law Group.

For further elaboration on the ineptitude of the Foley Law Group, let’s turn to Geoff McKay and Knox Foley, both swallowing hard while confronted with the exploding eyeballs (and expanding moustache) of the irate Joe Jarbo.

What a couple maroons!
“Umm…do you happen to know who owns it?”
“Uh, yeah, I know the guy. His name is Farley, Charles U. Farley. Now if you’ll excuse me, those Nutboys and Slurpees aren’t going to sell themselves!”

April 4, 2013

Ease Up To Get Loose


“Can’t get loose, eh? Well ease up and get loose so I can go and get tight. Look, there’s six or seven guys behind you that can catch the ball, so stop trying to wiz it past these Wampus Cats…hey what’s that advertisement out there? a burger or sandwich of some sort? Hey, what’s your name again?”
“Big Bob Stuff.”
“No not you Blob Stuff, you, wearing all the silly gear. Do I know you?”
“I’m your starting catcher, coach, Poindexter Snordkin.”
“Wait, what happened to Rick Bozich?”
“Coach, maybe you should go back to the dugout. I think we can figure this out.”
“Okay, good talk.”


Ha, the disinterested stares of the players on the Mudlarks bench is priceless. What’s that behind them though? Saddles? Packed parachutes? (How did that guy from Micfoob get in there?)

Meanwhile, the coaching staff has yet to catch up on the detes of the spring plot. Hang in there guys. I’m sure the guy at the hardware store will clue you in later.

The genius of Marty Moon’s crate is revealed. He can ship himself to Leesville to call the game, since he probably doesn’t have a car or a license and he’s almost certainly not welcome on the team bus.

April 21, 2011

Gary Oldman refuses to ease up. Conflict to be resolved never.

Filed under: baseball, bizarre cameos, Milford Weirdos, Mimi Thorp — jasbeattie @ 8:32 am


Sure, we could spend an entire strip featuring the most unpleasant new softball character…but why do that when we could instead feature…a budget meeting!


Credit where credit is due: Rubin and Whigham took a budget subcommittee scene and made it the most interesting damned budget subcommittee meeting you ever saw, brother! Because when the melting head of Fat Albert tells you to ease up, man, you better ease up! (Unless, of course, you’re Gary Oldman, then nobody tells you to ease up, bitch!)

Once the budget subcommittee realizes the Thorp model of coaching is to employ random weirdos to do all the work for free, they’ll simply deploy this same model across the entire school. Think of the possibilities: Clambake teaching Sex Ed! (Talk about locking your eyes on one hole…)


“Hey did you realize that weird Alpo chick sings protest songs…and I mean what do we have to protest about, except these horrible pants?”
“Yeah, as far as I know the world is fine…there’s nothing to protest. At least that’s what my new teacher, kid in tree, keeps tells me.”

December 24, 2010

Ease up, Jesus!

Filed under: basketball, Boredom in Milford, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos — jasbeattie @ 5:34 pm


Thanks fair readers, for keeping the commentary going, despite my delinquency in posting about an exciting “Ease up!” sighting. Not much else to add, except I find Cortez’s guess of “Ease up!” a rather lousy choice in the game of hangman. Because c’mon…there’s no space in “_ _ _ _ _ _” So what’s a filthy, filthy word of six letters? Why N U T B O Y of course!


Christ almighty! Cortez “Horace Grant” Ponce de Leon Vespucci has discovered the lord. It’s a miracle he discovered anything wandering around the school blind a bat with a rubber hand as his only guide. And now he’s here to see if he can release Gil from the tight grip of Satan. Good luck with that kid…the guy reading the racing form and drinking out of his baseball trophy flask at 9:30 in the morning is unlikely to give up more than one or two of his favorite deadly sins just ’cause you found his office without the benefit of eyeballs.

Stay tuned for the Thorp Family Christmas card. This year will there be even fewer than zero children?

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