This Week in Milford

September 25, 2019

Beat the Devils

Filed under: actual action, football, Gil Thorp, Highlight reel, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 6:27 am


Rubin has taken the Mudlarks on a road trip to South Carolina once again. (Starting to think he must have a timeshare there.) Dreher – the only Dreher High School in the US – is in Columbia. It has some nice looking prairie style windows even though Columbia is about as far from the prairie as you can get. The Blue Devils football team has a Twitter feed but I don’t see Milford on that schedule. Maybe they got fit into that bye week between Gilbert and Lower Richland.

To the action: Charlie Roh (and I still can’t get over the fact that Rubin has named this kid of apparent Southeast Asian origin “Charlie”) manages to pick up a first down despite having a Blue Devil take a bite out of his left thigh. Holding that football like a loaf of bread might give us a clue as to why he fumbled in the opener. You’d think Kaz would’ve worked with him on that in practice yesterday. At least douchey Chet Ballard is happy for the moment.

That happiness is bound to last only for that moment as Charlie’s backfield rival, the introverted Chance Macy, reels off a touchdown run. No doubt Chet will have a hissy thinking that touch should’ve been Charlie’s. Chill out, Ballard! Go to the concession stand and grab a nice barbecue sandwich or something. If that doesn’t help, leave the game early, take that two-hour drive down I-26 and bend elbows with Mr. Bakst in Charleston. I’ve been known to do that on occasion.



April 8, 2019

Yada Yada Yada…You Gonna Finish Those?

Filed under: actual action, baseball, freak hands, google nonsense, huge earrings, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 3:35 am


The results of the Linda Carr and David Walter Convention are in. Linda is pooped. Sometimes, saying you were tired is just making an excuse for being a real B without admitting that you’ve been a real B. (Why do I hesitate to refer to a fictional teenage girl as a bitch? How about a shrew? Whatevs.)

Linda is tired. Too many activities, too much homework and those loads of carbs from the Bucket will do that to you. Wow, look at the meaty cleft of her palm. Her chin just sinks in there! Does she even need a glove at short?

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Carbs. The Bucket has them and David Walter, put upon boyfriend will put them away. He runs on carbs. They fire him up!

…and we’re off. Game action. Boys first, naturally. Jay Bhatia has become the opening day starter? He has achieved the goal he set last year. Also, he must have gotten contacts.

What’s this? The Burke Bulldogs are from Charleston, South Carolina, the “Final Destination” of the mysterious Mr. Bakst? Circles in circles, wheels in wheels.

Be sure to try the tasty burgers at SLOPS. SLOPS, our beef will make you see stars.


May 12, 2018

WARNING: Gratuitous Crotch Shot Ahead

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 10:01 am


Well that foreshadowing was for naught.  We all thought 5’8″ Jay Bhatia was gonna come in and blow that lead but nope, he kept the Sharks guessing and closed the deal.

Short pitchers are the exception, not the rule, though it’s worth noting that the 5’6″ Bobby Shantz had a long and solid career. One of the few stars on some very bad Philadelphia A’s squads, Shantz relied on a vast repertoire of pitches, including the knuckler. What strikes me as more unusual in Bhatia’s case is not his height but his uniform number: How often do you see a pitcher wearing a single digit? I remember Atlee Hammaker wearing #7 for a while (though he mostly wore #14 during his career) but I can’t think of too many more.

The Secret Pelwecki took the collar (if not the golden sombrero) but gets some passive-aggressive reassurance from Gilberto, who implies that Pelwecki’s swings were not good ones. Wonder how Barry Bader did? I’m sure he’ll complain about something on that long-long bus ride back from Bluffton. Too bad Whigham didn’t do his homework and draw in those lovely tall South Carolina pines behind the outfield fence. Maybe he can have the Mudlarks stop off for some Frogmore Stew before they get going.

May 11, 2018

Eleven Sharks a-Whiffin

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Gil Thorp, google nonsense — nedryerson @ 6:24 am


Here it is folks, actual action! Pete DeWindt is the offensive standout, but it’s a safe bet that he will stay in the shadows. The first panel looks to be one of the 2 driven in by Pete and not Pete himself. Poor Pete.

Ryan Van Auken seems to be in command, but Gil is ready to test out Jay Bhatia’s arm. Is high school ball typically a 9 inning game or is it shortened? Seems like something I should know by now.

Let’s talk a little bit about the May River Sharks.

They have a sweet logo:


Also, they play games in this lovely setting:

That dense stand of tall pines makes a gorgeous backdrop for baseball. I hope the Mudlarks enjoy their sojourn in beautiful South Carolina.

Eta: I didn’t watch that video all the way to the end when I posted it. Now that I have, I keep watching the last 5 seconds over and over and trying to figure out how that ump manages to stride right into the path of the Shark baserunner. Maybe he too was distracted by those trees.

September 7, 2017

This Had the Potential to be Interesting


Wow, is this the ultimate in laissez-faire or what? Not only does Gil deliver a contrived platitude, we don’t even get to see him do it. Gil should’ve told his football team that if they had the potential to win back-to-back state championships, they didn’t need to prove it to anybody else. They’d already be back-to-back state champions!

Maybe this portends a new turn in Gil Thorp. Young athletes or wannabe athletes do or do not do something, followed by an exposition panel where the athlete/wannabe says that that’s what Coach Thorp told them to do/not do, or maybe they should’ve listened to Coach Thorp when he told them whatever off-panel. Or something.

Hopefully after Saturday we won’t hear from Jaquan for another five or six years, when he returns as a history teacher/life football basketball coach who gamely coaches his team to fall just short of the Mudlarks.  Then he can thank Gil profusely for all of his advice and for telling him he had the potential to be a history teacher/basketball coach and didn’t have to prove it to anybody else.

metapost: That whole “new turn” thing is stuck in my brain, as this Hurricane Irma prepares to turn and deliver a blow to Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, and maybe more. I’ve got a lot of friends and family potentially in the path, and it’s kinda messing with my concentration to deliver a daily dose of mirth via Milford. (You’re thinking, “Why should today be any different?”)  Just as with you TWIMers in Texas last week, you TWIMers in the affected areas please check in with us and let us know you’re safe.


August 15, 2015

Well, 16.666666666666667% Easier, But Who’s Counting?

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:29 pm


Beyond Rodney showing off his capacity for rounding decimals, what else in this cozy scene is advancing the plot?  I’m focused on the symbolism in these three panels.

Panel 1: Dandy Don had this one called years ago. High school stardom for these guys is coming to an end no matter what.

Panel 2: If True doesn’t make a decision before long, he’s gonna end up being a bottom bunk guy for the next four years if not longer.

Panel 3: Look at that night sky. I think it’s beckoning True to follow Mr. Bakst to South Carolina. Can you imagine the Ol’ Ball Coach making a cameo in Gil Thorp? Love him or loathe him (and I freely admit I’m in the latter camp) you gotta admit he’d liven things up a bit.

January 22, 2015

And Leisl Was Her Name-o

Filed under: actual action, basketball, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 7:24 am

January 22, 2015


So Andrea Lis gets her stuff packed by Tilden’s Wes Unseld and Lysol is there to scoop it up and shoot without thinking. No total eclipse of the net here but a basket, so we’re told. Then a dance flash mob breaks out (this is kind of a thing in Milford). But there’s something a bit off-character about this mob.

Doesn’t Lysol wear #15? The #15 in the flash mob is taller and doesn’t have such a long ponytail. It may not be Lysol as her number was obscured in yesterday’s strip, and it’s possible that the Lady Mudlarks don’t wear the same uniform numbers home and away. (For that matter, isn’t #7 an illegal uniform number in high school basketball? This should’ve resulted in a technical foul on the Lady Mudlarks and we might not be talking about Lysol’s game-winning basket at all.) Maybe the travel budget for road games in South Carolina ate into the equipment budget? If Milford had an equipment manager worth their salt they might stay on top of these things.

But nooooo! Milford’s basketball manager (for the boys, anyway) fancies himself a coach, statistician, and brand/image consultant. The worst upshot of this victory is that it will somehow legitimize Bobby Howry’s coaching ability and his schtick will only get worse from here. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day – and probably doesn’t have to be asked three times to fetch the coach a towel.

January 15, 2015

BONK Is Back!

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Gil Thorp, Highlight reel, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 7:17 am

January 15, 2015


Well we still don’t know whether Bobby watched the Milford @ Irmo girls’ game in person or remotely. I understand South Carolina has some of the lowest gas prices in the country (as do Michigan and Ohio) so maybe it was a massive road trip! More likely Bobby hid himself in the girls’ equipment bags and looked on from there.

Some of Bobby’s unsolicited advice has rubbed off on Leisl (and it pains me and my spell checker to spell it that way but whatevs) as has his devotion to stats (why else would Leisl remember she shot, like, 20 percent?). But maybe that’s not for the better: maybe Leisl needed that wasted dribble to better line up her shot and not to BONK!

Bobby may have caught a clue as he’s turned his criticism into praise. Between that and introducing her to his pals Cuff and Link, he’s well on his way to winning Leisl’s heart.

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