This Week in Milford

July 13, 2020

Predictable, That’s The Word Of The Day

Filed under: Bare Midriffs, Chunky Bracelets, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Mimi Thorp — nedryerson @ 7:44 am

Summer has officially arrived. We survived a plot that nobody wants to think about ever again, so we cleanse our palates with a cool, refreshing beverage on the deck at the Thorp house. This event is so predictable that Mimi calls out its predictable nature in the text. Wow, that’s like, meta.

Gil is as predictable as the strip named for him. He knows it and Mimi knows it. Ah, but Gil has a trick up his sleeve. He’s mixed iced tea into the official beverage of the Thorp deck, lemonade, to make Arnold Palmers. (Is Gil already thinking of golf? Probably. He is so predictable.)

I don’t mind an Arnold Palmer, but I am a dedicated drinker of iced tea. We don’t know Mimi’s stance on iced tea. (Have they ever drank iced tea in Gil Thorp, Long Island notwithstanding? I haven’t a clue.) If Mimi is not into iced tea, perhaps an Arnold Palmer to her is a ruined glass of lemonade. Maybe Gil is about to get a pitcher of Arnold Palmers dumped on his head. That would be unpredictable, but…

We’ve got to ease into a new plot with some characters we can’t identify. We have two young women, one who wants to sleep in and one who needs her “bestie” to get her downtown. (Do kids use the term bestie and do they actually address friends thusly? I’m clueless here too.)

So the bestie that’s all ready to go (Earrings: check. Bracelets: check. Bare midriff: check.) has presumably passed through a parental checkpoint and proceeded straight to her bestie’s bedroom. I can’t help but image an Eddie Haskell like conversation in the foyer. “Is Bestie up? No, well Mrs. Bestie, I shall rouse her so that she shan’t tarry in bed all summer. All my best to Mr. Bestie!” Maybe kids just barge into each other’s homes these days. (Clueless.)

The word predictable immediately brings to mind this Kinks song from the dawn of the MTV era. Maybe this era of Kinks pales in comparison to the genius songwriting of the 60s/early 70s. This song is a little trite, I guess, but I have a soft spot for that period when aging sixties acts tried their hand at updating sounds and making videos to appeal to new audiences.

July 6, 2020

An Unofficial Loss

The big event has come to a halt. It looks like The Mayor and Gonzo (?) are reviewing the game. The big takeaway is that Hiawatha and Corina Karenna are bonding over ice cream bars. I’ll bet an ice cream bar goes down nice and easy when your standing in the heat with a chest protector strapped to you. The odds are that we’ll never hear from Hiawatha/Corina again. Their meet cute will be as much a footnote to Mudlark lore as the rest of Hiawatha’s appearances.

This postmortem tells us that the game never actually ended. Presumably, the umpire got sick of all the nonsense and walked away. Also, the infield was covered in regurgitated pizza, subs and ice cream so it was kind of a health hazard.

What wrap up would be complete without Kaz and Gil summarizing something that they didn’t participate in? It looks like Kaz is catching Gil just as he’s sliding down a freshly waxed hallway in his socks. (Good job, Steve!) Yep, everyone left happy and there were only a few minor cases of food poisoning.

June 29, 2020

Is There A Gluten Free Option?

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, softball, Valley Modified — nedryerson @ 5:44 am

This little game just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Big turnout, swapping players, lending equipment and now some cool dude in a van shows up with 20 pizzas. OMG, it’s the wackiest “game” we’ve ever seen.

This will be fun for the spectators. They can watch these kids eat. (I think that’s what’s missing in spectator sports today, meal breaks for the competitors.) I hope they have some tables and chairs. Some plates and napkins would be good too. If not hey can just spread twenty pizza boxes in the infield dirt and the teams can stand around eating pizza to the delight of the crowd.

June 22, 2020

Coffee Is For Closers, Don

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 5:57 am

Oh boy do I love a coffee pouring panel. Mostly, I’d see them in Mark Trail. Mark would be sitting in his log cabin with Andy or Doc in the foreground, and Cherry would lean over and pour Mark a fresh cup of coffee. Usually Mark would be sharing a story about expensive rental vehicles being blown to smithereens while he covered a story about bark beetle infestations for Woods & Wildlife magazine.

Anyway, it’s nice to see Kaz intently dispensing some Teachers’ Lounge Blend into his personalized mug. Also, note that it looks like Don Rooney is having his own cup of something there in the background while keeping a low profile to avoid the attention of faculty alpha males Gil & Bob.

Okay, so the real story here is that Gil and Kaz know about the extra curricular game that’s going down, but they don’t *wink* KNOW about it. So sly this pair is. Maybe they think Rooney is some kind of snitch? (Rooney probably doesn’t care. The pest in his classroom is gone and he just wants to enjoy his coffee in peace.)

Meanwhile, the Mayor wants to make history with his Little Rascals squad versus the Mudlarks. Fire up!…but please fellas, no guns!

June 15, 2020

Stepped On

Filed under: actual action, Mimi Thorp, softball — nedryerson @ 5:39 am

Remember that chopper to the first base side from last week? Here’s the payoff! Pitcher Jamila Moses races the Valley Tech batter to the bag, catches probably too much bag and gets herself stepped on!

It’s her foot, maybe her ankle! Mimi assesses Jamila’s status while performing a provocative squat on the infield dirt.

Jamila pops up because she’s a gamer and wants to continue to perform. She also doesn’t need an eyeful of Mimi’s jeanmeat. Mimi’s having none of it and Jamila is through for the day.

June 8, 2020

Tracking Monday

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — nedryerson @ 5:43 am

Gil tracks down Kaz to see if Chris Schuring has tracked down Kaz. Life at Milford High is mainly people tracking down other people so they can say things to each other. If you have an office, you’re generally easier to track down, as Gil demonstrates by tracking down Kaz. But, if you are not in you’re office, perhaps because you’re tracking someone else down, you’re generally harder to track down. Now, if you don’t want to be tracked down, but you do have an office, then you’re in a bit of a conundrum.

So now Kaz, having been tracked down by Gil, is being briefed on how to proceed when and if Chris Schuring tracks him down. Gil said he has “a few thoughts” which seems to translate into “here’s what you need to do”.

There is no suspense generated by Chris Schuring’s efforts to track Kaz down. One panel after the Gil/Kaz busines, Chris Schuring has tracked Kaz down. It looks like Kaz was tracked to the cafeteria. Next to the office, the cafeteria is an ideal place to track someone down. Kaz probably has “cafeteria duty”, which made him really easy to track down.

Gil has apparently fully briefed Kaz on his plan vis a vis the arrangement of a baseball game between Milford High and the Valley Modified “squad”. Once Kaz is tracked down by Chris Schuring, he begins to spew out Gil’s thoughts. Remember how the very last strip we had was Gil talking to Chris Schuring about the topic of arranging this game? I guess the speed of Gil’s thoughts have slowed to the point where he couldn’t share them with Chris then, thus necessitating extra layers of tracking and talking.

The kicker to all of this byzantine tracking and sharing is that we got absolutely nowhere today (other than seeing two successful track downs in one strip…Woo-hoo!) So we wait in suspense to see what else Gil told Kaz to tell Chris Schuring. Maybe some extra time to think gave Gil some ideas about how to be supportive of the plan for the game (but he’d prefer to have the ideas come through Kaz so he can stay away from any responsibilities). Maybe Kaz is just going to offer more lecturing on the liabilities at play here and throw more cold water on the plan.

Stay tuned. What else have you got to do?

June 1, 2020

Strange Counting

Filed under: The Bucket — nedryerson @ 5:33 am

Let’s watch as Mike Knappe fills in his former team mates on the goings on at Valley Modified. We heard about the daycare last week, but did we know that the kids in daycare have trouble with the curve? Now we do. Oh Mayor, you crack us up!

Mike’s new friend, Ardis Carhee, is an athlete. Mike knows that Hiawatha and Chris (some Chris, who is maybe the other guy at the table) played hoops against.

Hiawatha lets Mike know that he should include himself, so that makes two athletes at Valley Modified. His counting on his fingers method is confusing though.

Have I ever said I was officially bored by a Gil Thorp plot? I don’t know. Maybe I did. But now I am officially, on record, bored. The small screws or rivets that hold together that Bucket window support beam are more interesting to me that theses kids and what they are doing.

Here’s a song to entertain you that was inspired by this. Some consider this Who album a slight effort. I’m pretty fond of it myself.

May 25, 2020

Don Ducking Gil?

Filed under: Gil Thorp, huge earrings — nedryerson @ 10:01 am

The Mayor is getting acclimated at his new school. He’s got a crew now and he’s trying to guess why they’re there at Valley Modified. It’s a tradition not to ask.

What is foreground girl doing there? Did she set fire to the cafeteria at Tilden? Did she pull a gun on her trigonometry teacher at New Thayer? Was she slinging disco biscuits at Madison? Don’t ask. She’ll tell you.

Back at Milford High, Don Rooney has been avoiding Gil. Most faculty at Milford avoid Gil because he usually approaches them for favors that involve them doing Gil’s job for him. Don seems to be avoiding the wrath of Gil over the butter knife incident. HE really thinks he’s on Gil’s “list” because of that? What a joke.

Maybe if you read between the lines, Gil is a little steamed that Don Rooney didn’t nip The Mayor’s stupid antics in the bud by shutting him down before the butter knife appeared. Maybe I’m inserting that myself because I think I kid sitting in class and pulling bento boxes and tea services out of his backpack is disruptive and shouldn’t be tolerated. The absurdity of the zero tolerance policy just makes the situation too messy to really assign blame to anyone in particular. I blame the system!

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