This Week in Milford

November 13, 2017

This Week In Uncle Gary

Filed under: freak hands, google nonsense, Milford Idiots — nedryerson @ 9:09 am

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The Uncle Gary Show continues at Gil Thorp. Now it is revealed that Uncle Gary is angling for some sort of warm, fuzzy “Support the Troops” flavor to his ersatz viral video. We get it. Uncle Gary is without scruples. He’s also without traditional elbows if you try to figure out how is hand is positioned that way in Panel 3.

I have nothing else to say about Uncle Gary. Please have fun talking about Uncle Gary in the comments, if you can bring yourself to.

I do feel bad about giving you loyal readers short shrift in “humorous content” so I decided, why not fall back on the old standby, Google Nonsense. So let’s see what comes up when you Google “Uncle Gary”.

We’ll start with this guy:
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Interesting. Maybe Uncle Gary had a brief brush with fame that he’s trying to relive through Rick. Why he would bill himself as “Uncle Gary” is weird, but hey, it’s “The Nice Price Plus”. (I remember those stickers in the old chain record stores. I think it stood for “Here’s some back catalog crap that nobody will pay full price for”.)

Next up, we have this loving memorial to Uncle Gary:
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Lots of warm memories. He and his lawnmowers are certainly missed.

And finally, we have Twitter’s @UncleGary4Real:
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He looks like a lot of fun. Check out Uncle Gary’s twitter account…if you dare!

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November 6, 2017

How About A Crane Shot, Uncle Gary?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots, Secret Thoughts — nedryerson @ 4:46 am

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So this whole plot is mostly an exploration of the depths of Uncle Gary’s delusions. Fun.

 

October 30, 2017

Monday Morning Stretching

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp — nedryerson @ 5:46 am

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Folks, it’s very important to stretch. In my experience, stretching is instrumental in exercise because it makes something time consuming and tedious even more time consuming and tedious. It can also be painful, especially if you’re not doing it right. That brings us to today’s exercise in story telling.

Did you hear that there’s some sort of email campaign (and some passing of notes) to have Rick Soto sing the national anthem before the next football game? Well, if you haven’t heard, Gil and Mimi will fill you in via their patented “jog and chat” routine. (This is some sort of trope, I guess. I’ve seen many Funky Winkerbeans with Les and his buddy jogging and malapropping. I think the show The West Wing was known for the “walk and talk”. My favorite variation is from television of my youth on the show CHiPs when Ponch and Jon would do “Roar Down The Freeway on Massive Motorcycles, Patrolling Los Angeles For All Manner of Crimes and Chat”….good times.)

Who is behind this electronic communication whisper campaign? Oh Uncle Gary, you’re such a scamp! I do like Panel 3, as telegraphed as it is. Oh that Uncle Gary. I hate him, he’s just so smug.

October 23, 2017

You Pulled Me Out Of Class For This?

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 3:24 am

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It looks like Gil is overhauling his offense now that he’s gotten around to evaluating the skills of his team. He’s installing The Veer. Like the installation of the Wing-T from several years ago, this is Coach Thorp at his innovative best. On paper, at least, or on that tiny laptop, this is a can’t miss plan. A couple of games into the season is a great time to start plugging in new schemes.

Rick Soto is definitely jazzed about the Veer. It’s so cool! I’m sure Uncle Gary is googling “the veer and concussions”.

Metapost: I had told Ed after I didnt have time to do the post Friday that I’ll do Monday, and its up, but I have some thoughts: (Sorry Ned)

Here we are 3 days after my alma mater went 0-9 for the first time in school history, so the seasons OVA, I’m reading the playoff pairings in the paper today, and what do I see but Gil is putting in a new offense NOW??? What the fuck did he do all summer besides sit on the sidelines and watch Jaquan Case take up his freakin field for 2 months to practice catching passes from a Girl, and then decide to pursue hoops?? Where the hell was all this shit in July and August?? THERE”S YOUR SUMMER STORYLINE DAMMIT!

We couldve watched the progression of the offense learning a system that I actually like, as its a read-option attack that doesnt have to conform to the defense but rather adjusts on the fly to what the D shows them. Run well with the right personnel, it not only will gain yards but chew up the clock for a team that (apparantly) has a weak defense, keeping them off the field.

Now we’re gonna watch the team learn on the fly, as usual, and take its lumps while they do it, and maybe by the end of the season in December they’ll be halfway competent. As long as they dont use Butterfingers Pelwecki at QB.

Oh by the way, whats Kevin gonna play now? Before he was switching from lineman to fullback mid-game. Heck, mid-drive.

And Hey Gil, what about the defense? Any massive changes? How about the 46, popularized by Buddy Ryan and the Bears in the 80’s. Why not overhaul both sides of the ball; of course after you lose 31-7 you fix the offense. Makes perfect sense. Now.

 

October 16, 2017

No Time For Duck Jokes

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Oh, Uncle Gary. You’re unrelenting in your disdain of football. Don’t let the Millard West Wildcats hear your dismissive jabs, or they’ll drive up(?) from Omaha, Nebraska show you what it’s like! Sit over there with your coffee cup and your barbs, we’ve got other things of import to untangle here today.

What the hell? Coach Kaz went and got a black/blue dye job? (Okay, so this is why I used the color strip today. I kind of feel like colorist mistakes are maybe the easiest and most painfully obvious things to snark on, but on some most Mondays, I’ll take just about anything I can get.) Well, Kaz, what can we say? It looks great on you. Combined with the backwards clergy collar/black tee, it’s a bold new look for you. I guess the rest of the coaching brain trust (Coach Shaw! Steve Boone! Gilbot 3000!) is too absorbed in game video to take in your bold new choices. I predict Kaz will go and rinse that color out of his hair in time for his next appearance.

So we began with a goateed a-hole and now we end with the OG goateed a-hole, Marty Moon. Marty is doing his usual, the journalistic equivalent of stepping on a gardening rake. He lobs a presumptive question at Gil. In this cliffhanger style presentation, Gil gets a whole day to formulate a snarky and insultingly dismissive answer.

October 9, 2017

Ease Up, Connie

Filed under: Boredom in Milford — nedryerson @ 5:27 am

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Uncle Gary is really stepping up his game in reprehensible behavior. Chillax, Connie. I’m just manipulating your teenage son by suggesting he might be experiencing symptoms of a potentially debilitating head injury. Jeez, what a nag.

Meanwhile, at the Bucket, Rick seeks reassurance from his teammates. They’re not interested in helping him get a grip on Uncle Gary’s con game. They saw him sing Mack The Knife at the Elk’s Club, so they want an encore at The Bucket, under the hamburger sign.

October 2, 2017

It’s All On The Ground!

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 6:19 am

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The color edition of today’s strip indicates that we’re playing the opener on a beautiful summer day. Is that just a coloring issue? We will find out if the spaceship with the blinding lights lands on the field later on. If it’s daytime, maybe the bonfire will be after the game.

On the field, we find that Kevin Pelwecki picked up a first down and then displayed that patented Pelwecki versatility by going right back to the line to block on a sweep play. We could talk about Kevin’s blocking in panel 2, I guess. Hands outside the shoulders is problematic, but #28 seems to be giving ground and clearly got beat to the spot.

Marty is already in midseason form. His goatee is nicely trimmed and he’s got exclamation points at the ready.

I love those single fans with raised arms, as seen in the periphery of panel 3. That guy is a huge fan of the ground game and he wants everybody to know it.

September 25, 2017

The Real Deal!

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:00 am

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P1: Scrapper Fillion is working on an interesting release. That’s probably not the kind of work the passing game needs. Pelwecki’s been drilling all summer on catching the ball. Maybe he could get in on this. Oh yeah, Gil thinks fullbacks are horseshit.

P2: Uncle Gary continues to play impresario to the reputedly talented Rick Soto. He believes wholeheartedly that Rick’s got the goods. He even called Jackie! Jackie! Can you believe it?! Uncle Gary called Jackie. It’s on now. Wait until Jackie shows up and hears what Rick can do. This will be epic.

P3: The opening game is drawing near. LT Rick Soto is excited. He’s gonna be protecting the scrappy QB. Mom is whipping up something mushy…..aaaand it’s time to squeeze in one more plot point. Dad can’t be here. Why not? Is it important or did he just have a business trip that he couldn’t reschedule? Will this matter? Maybe we’ll find out or maybe we’ll still be wondering about it in months. This is Gil Thorp. We’re pretty used to this stuff.

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