This Week in Milford

January 20, 2020

Bonking @ Central

Filed under: actual action, basketball, freak hands, Pantheon of Mysterious Objects — nedryerson @ 5:50 am

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Panel 1 is Chris Schuring having had a better game than he’ll admit to? Yeah, I guess I can see that, but instead I’m looking at what Chris has in his freak hand. Is it a roll of scotch tape?

The actual action today is the Lady Mudlarks with yet more of Alexa Watson’s development as a player. She’s tossing up bricks but her teammate/bestie is offering encouragement. Is it just me, or are both of these wannabe valedictorians (so, they’re seniors) not worth all the effort. Surely there are other players on the benches that actually have a head for the game.

Those legs in Panel 3 are not right. They belong on a rugby pitch.

January 13, 2020

Tell Chris To Watch His Noggin!

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, general nonsense, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 4:33 am

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Still no word on who this administrative lady is chatting with Gil in the teacher’s lounge about student athlete’s GPAs. We know she’s a witty one, though. Upside the noggin with a Reebok? That’s some colorful slang. Mystery Admin is also quite dialed in to happenings in the student sphere at MHS. She knows all about Alexa’s pursuit of the valedictorian seat as well as Alexa’s potential for footwear assault. One might speculate that there is some kind of gambling going on based on the student rankings and that Miss Mystery is the one who has “hot tips” gleaned from skulking in the hallways, eavesdropping and/or monitoring social media accounts. She’s a Fantasy GPA Insider! Subscribe to her newsletter if you want any chance at taking the trophy.

 

January 6, 2020

The Harding, They Fall?

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The Lady Mudlarks are squaring off against the Lady Raiders from Warren, Ohio. Neal has been pitting Milford against teams in Eastern Ohio lately. Maybe he’s going to retire to Cleveland.

As much as we sometimes gripe about a lack of sports action in Gil Thorp. I must admit that three panels of nothing but sports action can leave me with little inspiration to comment. The floors are shiny. The ponytails are out in force. Alexa looks like she’s actually executing a layup in the first panel. The other two panels show aggressive defense. OMG, it’s like fundamental basketball. That’s good, right?

Well, good luck Alexa and gang. Repel those Raiders!

December 30, 2019

Schuring Bonks It

Filed under: actual action, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 4:48 am

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The lesson Chris Schuring has learned is not to hesitate, to take the shot. Gil is satisfied that he’s done some awesome coaching, despite the outcome of the game in Springfield.

Will Chris apply this approach in dealing with DeMarco & Associates or in his valedictorian campaign? Has Coach Thorp released a beast on MHS? Nah, this “teachable moment” will likely not advance (or play any role whatsoever in) the plot. The readers want to see some occasional coaching so here’s your occasional coaching. See you in the cafeteria for more weak ass plot noodling.

As far as “the shot we wanted” goes, I’m not sure that panel one looks like a shot that’s desirable in any circumstance other than desperation. Maybe that’s supposed to be the follow through on a jumper? Who can tell? Forget it Ned. It’s Springfield.

December 23, 2019

Alexa, What’s The French Word For Boredom?

Filed under: actual action, basketball, google nonsense, Where is Milford? — nedryerson @ 7:03 am

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The first “actual action” of the basketball season is the Lady Mudlarks!  It’s this season’s breakout star, Alexa Watson, swatting away shots like nobody’s business. 1-0! We’re off to a terrific start.

Now for the drive back from Austintown, (part of the Youngstown-Warren-Boardman, OH-PA Metropolitan Statistical Area), Alexa is hitting the books hard. She might be finished with French and be ready to move on to German given the long drive back from the home town of the celebrated Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini*.

The really do illuminate the insides of those school buses.

Chris Schuring and the boys team are headed for Springfield (which one? we’ll never know). Chris has decided to go the David Puddy route and just stare for the ride of indeterminable length. He might have a book on tape, designed to take up the travel time. Is it Hop on Pop, or Infinite Jest? Curious onlooking Mudlarks would like to know.

Hopefully, all the TWIM readers get where they need to go safely to spend time with their loved ones for the holidays. Merry Christmas, all.

*Just as I can’t think of Youngstown, Ohio without thinking of Ray Mancini, I can’t think of Ray Mancini without thinking of the song, Boom Boom Mancini by the late, great Warren Zevon. Here’s a video of Zevon performing the song in a Boston train station in 1995:

 

December 16, 2019

Alexa, What Is The Bechdel Test?

Filed under: basketball, The Bucket — nedryerson @ 7:35 am

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Hey, look! It’s the girls basketball team, suited up and practicing with basketballs and stuff. It’s great to have a reminder that student athletics are for everyone and that girls can reap the same benefits as boys from participating.  So what are we illustrating today? Teamwork? Character building? No? Oh right, dumb boys like Teddy Demarco amuse themselves with lame, dated gibes about Alexa Watson’s name.

It initially looked like Alexa was trying to rise above the dumb jokes and focus on her path to athletic and academic excellence. But now it looks like maybe Alexa likes the attention or at least she finds it amusing enough to wager with her teammates about it. 

I wonder if she ever threatens any of the boys with bonks on the head.

December 10, 2019

Alexa – Start A New Plot

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Oh boy! This is our new plot. Alexa Watson has to endure idiotic jokes about her name. This is going to be great!

Sorry for the delay. I’m dogged by connectivity problems. Also, I spent most of yesterday shopping around for a vehicle with a roomy pink interior.

December 2, 2019

Are You Caught Up?

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The rage Mama Roh has been bottling up all fall watching Chet act like a righteous asshole is finally coming out. Having to sit still and listen clearly doesn’t agree with Chet. Look at how his hand is twisting into something a five year old would make out of Play Doh.

I think there are some issues with communication in this relationship. I wonder how these two came together and decided to marry their fortunes together. I also wonder if Chet thought his new wife (does she have a name?) would just naturally assume a subservient role and go along with whatever stupid shit Chet wanted to do. I guess things have changed. However, Chet seems like a dyed in the wool a-hole so I assume it won’t be long before this thing collapses.

 

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