This Week in Milford

June 17, 2019

How Cool Is This? Too.

Filed under: huge earrings, TCFS — nedryerson @ 6:12 am

06172019.PNG

This season has really put us through the ringer. However, just when you thought it was safe to drink a hard lemonade and enjoy some golf shenanigans, here come the PLAYDOWNS! Well, maybe we will see playdowns, as in actual sports competition on the field. We might just see more of this panel 3 nonsense: Too Cool randos (bagel salesmen, screenwriters, bowlers, etc.) paying homage to the softball champs.

Shout out to the two Lady Mudlarks (probably Jamila and unknown teammate with a feminine take on the Bobby Bittman hairstyle). You got three panels to tell a story of pleasant surprise that the school follows the softball team (and model a weirdly childish backpack with a frog or bear or something.) But your glory is shortlived as we had to go right back to TCFS. Which TCFS dude is holding the HISTORY 101 textbook? Did we meet him before or is he a very successful teenage worm farmer or other Too Cool feature?

 

 

 

Advertisements

June 10, 2019

Hat Day!

Filed under: huge hats, Just plain sad, Mimi Thorp — nedryerson @ 6:30 am

061019

In all the shuffle of idiotic plot devices, I had totally forgotten about the hats. It’s hat day? Game days are hat days, so it must be game day.

Linda looks a bit unnerved. She’s probably not into the hat. Also, her outfit makes her look like the water bottle in the foreground. See the cafeteria group looking at her like, who’s the person sized water bottle with the red cap?

It’s time for Mimi to address Linda’s issues. She already brilliantly sorted out Nancy and Molly with book club. Now she has to get Linda fired up for volleyball. Because Linda has a full ride scholarship to play volleyball, and it’s mid June and Linda is moping up a storm because she’s not on the Olympic volleyball team yet.

Mimi’s first salvo: That mid level college you’re attending has a craptastic volleyball team. A player of your caliber is probably not going to make a difference there.

June 3, 2019

Oh Boy, Book Club!

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, Mimi Thorp, softball, What the hell is going on here? — nedryerson @ 7:14 am

06022019

Nancy and Molly are lounging about on a Sunday afternoon, dealing with Mimi Thorp’s impromptu reading assignment. It’s very late in the school year (some would suggest that school should be out by now, but we all know that the Milford calendar is elastic) and these two are way over it, but they are soldiering on. They do a telephone check in, which I’m told is not a thing anymore for teens. I think we have to stick with this convention in comics because a) This is Gil Thorp and it is the 1950s with cellphones and b) visually, text exchanges are even duller than what we see here.

Nancy is reading Animal Farm and Molly is on the internet reading about it.  This is something that hasn’t changed with school reading assignments since the first time Animal Farm was taught in school. Nobody really wants to read this thing and just wants some bullet points so they can write an essay and move on. (Maybe some people enjoy reading Animal Farm. YMMV, but I have a few thoughts that I will share in a moment.)

Now when Monday rolls around, Mimi is still strangely talking collectively to “ladies” even though the book club is just for Molly and Nancy. I think that’s the case, but maybe I’m wrong. teenchy touched on this Saturday. It’s the usual muddiness .

We shall see what Mimi has in mind as discussion points for the book club. Whatever her thesis, it’s sure to land with a dull thud and I’m certain that I will be scratching my head when that happens. I have a burning question of the sort that never gets answered in Gil Thorp: What the hell is Gil/Mimi thinking? How does this allegorical tale written in England in the 1940s, satirizing the brutal Stalinist regime of the Soviet Union relate to a “too cool” high school button campaign? Are we to believe that Mimi wants to illustrate parallels between “in group/out group” selection criteria and a critique of collectivism? I see nothing more than a facile connection here, but I guess that’s what I expect.

I did actually read Animal Farm yesterday for the first time. Somehow, I avoided ever having this reading assignment given to me. I certainly knew about the book and had a good idea of the ideas it contained. I think the biggest problem I had with reading it was that the allegory is so obvious that the act of reading becomes so analytical that you might as well just go to the Cliff notes or the modern equivalent on the internet. Orwell is anything but subtle in his intent is what I’m saying. I think his writing is actually very skilled but this thing is a polemic guaranteed to crush the will of a teenager in any era.

There have probably been newer readings of Animal Farm that have emerged in our post modern age. Perhaps some more nuanced analysis of class struggle can use Animal Farm as a jumping off point. I don’t expect Mimi, Molly and Nancy to touch on this in the gym.

I will reveal a misconception I held about Animal Farm before I read it. I had thought that the slogan “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others” was something that had been painted on the wall by an animal resistant to the ruling elite as a kind of ironic statement. Having not read it, I wasn’t aware of the running theme of the rules being continually rewritten until the original utopian ideals had been obliterated. I guess that must have been my snarker’s brain’s reading of that statement and how it couldn’t be read as anything but ridiculous.

Okay, that’s more than enough jibba jabba from me about Animal Farm. I can’t wait to hear Mimi’s take.

ETA: If you want to be part of Book Club, you can read the entire book here.

May 27, 2019

Still Sorting Out The Silliness

Filed under: Mimi Thorp, softball — nedryerson @ 9:09 am

05272019

Linda Carr’s volleyball skills are good enough to land her a scholarship to a mid-level college, but not good enough to complete with Australian all-stars. Also, volleyball skills are not as cool as selling bagel skills, so Linda is totally bummed. Mimi Thorp can’t break Linda out of this mopey bullshit. That’s where we are. It has to end soon.

Those Milford custom bat bags are cool, maybe even cool enough to get their own buttons.

May 20, 2019

I’m Gonna Need To See Your Black List Score

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, huge earrings, Swifti Mart, TCFS — nedryerson @ 7:09 am

052019

This plot has taken its sweet time to reveal to Molly & Co. that their quest for team unity has taken them down a path to…whatever this is. An endless series of random kids at Milford High are seeking validation from the softball team in the form of a 39 cent pin.

The latest contestant in Tyler, who wrote a screenplay. You’ve probably heard. I’m betting the mostly likely reason you may have heard is that Tyler has been telling people he wrote a screenplay. How else would anybody know? Is is getting buzz in the trades? Has Tyler been shopping it around to all the would be producers in Milford? That is doubtful. My gut says that Tyler is the “I wrote a screenplay” guy at Milford High. I’m afraid Molly is going to have to reject his claim. You just can’t be cool if you have to ask somebody if you’re cool.

Of course “cool” is an illusion, yet another “brand” (ugh) devised by marketing types to sell us stuff that we don’t need. It still works though. Molly bought those stupid buttons, didn’t she? Actually, if she bought fifty of them, the guy at the promotions place probably cleared a healthy ten dollar profit off of her. That will keep the lights on for another day.

In case you’re curious about the post title, it refers to this, a method whereby unrepresented screenwriters submit their work with the hope of becoming represented and maybe even selling their work. If it sounds almost as dubious as teens begging for membership in exclusive clubs, maybe that’s because it is. But if Tyler spends a couple hundred bucks to have some anonymous person (probably another guy with a pile of unsold screenplays) rate his work, maybe it will spare him from spending a fortune pursuing an MFA is screenwriting. He can earn an honest day’s pay down at the Milford Button Works.

 

May 13, 2019

This Is Really Happening

051319

“Molly, do you ever buy bagels from Arjun Khatri on Fridays?” That right there is about the most out of left field thing I’ve ever read in Gil Thorp. As I write these things first thing Monday morning, something like that can really make me question if I’m this is all real or if I’m dreaming.

Now we have school faculty, like Molly Hatcher’s World History teacher, nominating other students to receive the TC challenge coin. Isn’t this grand?

Now that Arjun Khatri has been designated TC for acts of altruism, do we now have to reevaluate those earlier TCFS candidates? Arjun raised $5000 for the food bank, and you have a collection of stuffed hippos? Yeah, look I’ve only got fifty of these and I doubt if I’m going to get the Flirting With Disaster discount again so that’s going to be a hard pass.

Who is Arjun Khatri? The New Jersey high school wrestler? An aspiring Indian filmmaker, or the singer of Poldo Raichha Chhati:

May 6, 2019

I’m Starting To Think There’s Not Enough Too Cool For School To Go Around

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, huge earrings, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 2:00 am

05062019

It’s Monday and that means more cafeteria repartee with Molly Hatcher and the girl we think is probably Nancy. What Nancy didn’t reveal before was that high five from the rando hallway Mudlark did something really weird to her hand, turning it into  flipper with a racing strip. Now that’s what I call too cool for school.

Before we get into the meat of the conversation, let’s take a closer look at the foreground student with the lunch tray. Wow, that salad is piled high in a very shallow serving bowl. It’s quite fascinating. I wonder if she assembled that thing herself from a salad bar or if the salads at the MHS are premade. (Is there an actual salad bar in the cafeteria?) Either way, the way that salad is constructed is too cool for school (TCFS).

We discover that the softball team’s TCFS trend has spread to the rest of the student body. Now random students are sharing details about themselves to members of the softball team with the hopes of being granted TCFS status. Case in point, Milo Daley.

Milo, as we learn is husky and he plays the clarinet. I might argue that that’s more than enough for TCFS status, but maybe my radar for this is not attuned like Molly’s. Somehow, Milo has computed that he is the second best bowler at MHS and he wants to know if that makes him TCFS. I would personally like to know how this ranking is established before I would make a designation, but again, I’m clearly in the dark about how this status is conferred.

I think Molly and probably Nancy should start a podcast called Too Cool For School where they ask students to tweet their unique hobbies or accomplishments to the TCFS Twitter account. Each week, Molly and Nancy (and maybe special guests) will ruminate on the submissions and decide definitively who is and who isn’t Too Cool For School. It would get more downloads than Marty Moon’s This Is What I’m Drinking podcast.

April 29, 2019

What’s The Deal With Linda?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Fontastic, Just plain sad, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:16 am

04292019.PNG

David and Linda started a conversation at The Bucket last week. The conversation continued on the phone over the weekend and now here we are at Milford High School picking up where we left off.

David is summoned via text (he has installed a customized font package on his phone’s messaging app) to meet Linda in the Media Center. I’d like to point out that the Milford High School still has actual books on shelves and subscribes to at least one print periodical. I’m going to assume that the copy of SPIN that Linda is reading is part of the Media Center’s collection. Would anybody buy their own copy of SPIN these days? Can you buy a copy of SPIN these days? (The answer to that question is no. SPIN has been online only since 2012.) Maybe the Milford High School Media Center is as frozen in time as many other aspects of MHS and Linda is currently leafing through the March 1989 of SPIN magazine, which features a cover story on Edie Brickell and New Bohemians.

With all the curious details out of the way, I now barely have the energy to untangle the main point. What is the deal with Linda? She was fired up about her teammates missing the scrimmage because they had other commitments. Her steady beau, David Walter, pointed out her hypocrisy since she has her own other commitments. She rankled at this, but they moved on.

Since then, all of the other commitments her teammates have been put under a microscope and evaluated for their uniqueness, or too cool for schoolness and this somehow led to the introduction of a stuffed rally hippo. This has somehow led Linda to again question her own too cool for schoolness and feel inadequate because her volleyball scholarship doesn’t measure up. She’s wondering if she’s just not that into volleyball anymore. Geez, what a predicament.

Well Linda, if you don’t want to listen to David’s straight advice, take a tip from Edie Brickell (by way of Popeye the Sailor Man): “What I am is what I am, you what you are or what?” That means do volleyball if you want or don’t do it if you don’t. I think, or at least that’s the “talk on the cereal box”.

spin.PNG

Have any members of New Bohemians ever been heard from since then?

Edited to add, in response to Tim, that SPIN featured KISS on their cover several years later (August 1996)…Looks like one of those four covers, collect them all!! type deals.

CaptureKSS

Older Posts »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.