This Week in Milford

April 6, 2020

I’ve Seen Prairie Style Windows From Both Sides Now

Filed under: baseball, Gil Thorp, Marjie Ducey, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:08 am

04062020

Forecast of snow? A lot of speed? Did I just walk in on a drug deal here? Of course not. There’s no room for that kind of excitement here. What do you think this is, Mary Worth? No, it’s time for Gil to go down the roster with Marjie in a little segment we like to call Gil Goes Down The Roster With Marjie Ducey.

We just met the pitcher, Mark Godleski, who carpools with one of the outfielders, Mark Knappe (aka The Mayor), a wiseass who chugs milk and cereal from a sports bottle. This makes him interesting.

The remaining two outfielders are well known to us here at TWIM. We have Chance Macy who was stealing carries from Charlie Roh last fall, much to the chagrin of Chet Ballard. Then we have Tiki Jansen, who Chet Ballard was trying to get kicked out of Milford High for not meeting residency requirements in the summer. Wow, we had a lot of Chet Ballard face planting last year.

Always last, of course, is catcher Hiawatha James. Hiawatha James never gets a story line. We’ve seen him scoring points on the field and taking part in some locker room banter, but so far we haven’t seen him run afoul of Chet Ballard or do any of the other two or three things that bring you into the foreground of Gil Thorp “action”.

March 30, 2020

Will The Mayor Be Ready??

Filed under: ?, general nonsense, Just plain sad — nedryerson @ 5:35 am

03302020

A bright, brisk Spring morning sees Tom Muench pick up Mark Godleski. So this is the beginning of the new plot. Tom Muench was name checked a few times in the just ended crapshow that was the Schuring/Watson, um, show of crap. Godleski is probably new. I don’t think I remember his name. Billy?

I have two questions so far. What is going on with Muench’s car? Does he go mudding in his four door sedan? Maybe he lives on a dirt road. I guess this is Spring in Milford. Dirty, melting snow on the roads could be involved. Does Muench’s ride have undercoating?

The second question concerns “The Mayor”. I assume it’s a nickname, like Ossie Davis’ character in Do The Right Thing. (Technically he was “Da Mayor“.)  Anybody nicknamed The Mayor in this context has the inside track as standout self-aggrandizing character for this season’s plot.

March 23, 2020

Alexa? Alexa! Call Me!

Filed under: Brown Hair, huge earrings, Peering Over Eyeglasses, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:04 am

03232020

There are lots of things that are driving us nuts these day, like for instance a global pandemic and all the mitigation strategies that will keep us severely confined. Some might say these conditions are the precise reason why we all need to chill the fuck out and not sweat the small stuff. But what about us in the comics blogging and commenting commenting community? Sweating the small stuff is what gives us a comfort and respite from the frightening realities of the real world. So in that spirit, let’s really sweat the small stuff!

First off, have we ever been given any indication of who has the lead in this valedictorian “competition”? I assume it’s mostly GPA driven.* It’s not that I’m asking this strip to detail whatever points system might be in place at MHS, it’s just that some character could actually say “Chris Schuring has a higher GPA” or whatever so that this meeting with the counselor could actually make sense and not just seem like just a cryptic hand touching and glasses lowering ceremony.

Based on today’s strip, I think we’re supposed to conclude that Chris Schuring has the lead and is offering to share the glory with Alexa Watson. This is the pretext for another confrontation even though the academic year is not over. If these two were so close in standing, you would think that the outcome would still be up in the air and our brown haired counselor even says as much! But let’s not let reason stand in the way of manufactured drama. Unless these two are going to toss social distancing to the wind and bone already!

Am I really “shipping” Alexa and Chris (Chralexa? Alexris)? Only for humor. Do I really think social distancing or any aspect of what’s happening in “the real world” will show up in Gil Thorp? No, it’s the 1950s with cell phones in Milford and they’re still concerned about the polio virus being spread in public pools.

*If I really strain hard, I can remember a little bit of drama in my high school about who would be valedictorian. I can’t remember who actually received the honor, but I do remember a handful of people who were in the running and a few of them were very Type A about it. There was even some mild shit talking which, even then, I found really annoying.  In that last semester of senior year, I was accepted into college and really wanted to get the fuck out of there.

March 16, 2020

Popeye Thorp

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Pantheon of Hair, Pissy faced Gil — nedryerson @ 8:59 am

03162020

Well, here’s a novel idea: Find out how Chris Schuring did on the test. It turns out he aced it. Why Gil never bothered to ask Mr. Rollins how Chris did initially, we’ll never know.

The whole “investigation” is farcical. It’s also dizzying watching Gil bounce around the school, visiting and revisiting the same people, only finally concluding after a week that Teddy’s story stinks. This proves once and for all that Gil has no official responsibilities outside coaching at Milford High. I guess Dr. Pearl figures if he’s just wandering the hall chitchatting all day, she might as well give him something else to do…and take his time because nobody really cares and everyone in the school knows that Teddy is a douche.

Okay Teddy, the jig is up. What do you have to say for yourself? You ever been to Poughkeepsie? If need be, Gil is prepared to whack you upside the head with a phonebook.

March 9, 2020

Messed Up

03092020

Teddy DeMarco’s latest plan in the Messing With Schuring campaign is revealed. He tells Mr. Rollins that he gave last years AP Chemistry midterm to Chris Schuring. How can this fail? Mr. Rollins will surely take Teddy’s word for it and punish Chris. Or…

He’ll go to Gil with this because that’s what you do when one of you students is a MHS student athlete. You take it to Gil. Gil will get to the bottom of this. Don’t let it trouble you, Mr. Rollins.

We don’t know everything that happened. Maybe Mr. Rollins had a talk with Chris too, but the strip makes it seem like he dumped this on Gil and went back to drinking coffee. Then Gil is talking to Teddy, suggesting that he is investigating. Gil sure has his hands full. I don’t know how he keeps up with his workload. After talking to Teddy, he’s gonna have to talk to Alexa and Phoebe. He’ll eventually have to talk to Chris. None of these interviews can really establish academic dishonesty, so Mr. Rollins is not off the hook yet.

Historical fact: My AP Chemistry teacher was Mr. Haggbloom.  I think there were no more than ten students. Most of us had no idea what was going on. I don’t recall any basketball players in that class.

March 2, 2020

Talk To The Mohawk

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — nedryerson @ 6:25 am

03022020

If you thought Teddy DeMarco was cooking up an elaborate scheme to plant the old AP Chem midterm on either Alexa Watson or Chris Schuring  to frame them for cheating, you overestimated Teddy’s cunning. Remember his genius noisemaker plan? It looks like Teddy is pretty much a dolt.

I can’t figure out what Teddy’s play is here. He just asks Alexa in the hall if she wants the exam in front of witnesses. I’m not going to torture my brain trying to figure it out. The clock is ticking, Rubin never has any impressive tricks up his sleeve and we know Teddy will fall on his face.

I wonder if we will get a Teddy DeMarco flashback that explains why he has it in for Chris Schuring. Did Chris call him a name in the second grade?

February 24, 2020

Smooth Alexa Is Smooth

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Jefferson Jeffs, shadow figures — nedryerson @ 7:21 am

02242020

Well, it looks like Phoebe’s theory was borne out. The Jefferson defender is getting out of the way and giving Alexa a smooth path to the hoop. (Hey, there’s that rectangle again.)

Surely Jefferson has coaches. Will these coaches request that their players defend the lane now that newly assertive Alexa is determined to plow through it on every possession? The Jeffs have a banner indicating some sort of championship in this century. One would think there is someone paying attention in the bench area.

Oh, Alexa is also pulling up and shooting jumpers. Wow. What a transformation! What’s a few dislocated shoulders and dented lockers at MHS now that offensive juggernaut Alexa Watson has been unleashed.

So now all that’s left is for Alexa to thank Chris Schuring for the advice (via Phoebe) and the two would be valedictorians/emerging hardwood beasts can just put competition aside and just bone already! (Did I say that out loud?)

 

February 17, 2020

As Lame As Lame Gets

02172020

Let me get this straight. Chris Schuring talked to Phoebe Keener to share his technique for improving his basketball game and Phoebe is passing it along to Alexa. This technique is move aggressively about in the hallway, dominating other with one’s superior size and agility. I guess it’s a decent idea to develop an instinct or muscle memory in a sense. Still, walking around in crowds of other people in everyday situations is not like being on a basketball court. It’s more like sharing the road with other cars and we’re all urged to drive defensively, not aggressively. The stakes aren’t quite as high in the halls, but some poor kid is probably going to get wiped out as Alexa embraces her inner road hog. Ms. Perrine almost went down, for crying out loud.

 

Older Posts »

Blog at WordPress.com.