This Week in Milford

December 10, 2018

Two Billboards Outside Milford

Filed under: basketball — nedryerson @ 6:54 am

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Here we go! The new plot is here! The new plot is here! Things are going to start happening for us! (Self delusion is a key to blogging.)

It’s kind of exciting to see a new place depicted in Gil Thorp. We’re kicking off basketball season with a look at the Milford Office Park, the home to Skyborne Advertising. If you want to advertise in or around Milford, grab your clipboard and head down to Skyborne. Talk to Jim.

I wish we could get a better look at the outdoor advertising game in Milford. Does Skyborne handle bus advertising? (Does Milford have buses? Maybe they do and if so they might have bus benches. Jim will advise a diverse media campaign for maximum impact.) Given that this is Milford, I’m sure Skyborne employs a crew of guys who don white coveralls and climb rickety wooden ladders to hand letter billboard messages or hang paper advertising with those big push broom type brushes. Why not? Milford still has a storefront travel agency.

But, we won’t get to hangout at the Office Park to see the rest of this scintillating media buy because we’ve got to get over to basketball practice, where…

somebody gets an eye injury. The injured party has the center part hairstyle most recently seen on Joe Bolek, and he has freckles. Mike Granger was the dark haired version of this model a few years ago. Remember when he and Ken Brown were tailing Aaron Aagard to his dumpy apartment? (Those dumpy apartments get a lot of play in Gil Thorp. I wonder what their media strategy is.)

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December 3, 2018

Remember When You Dig A Hole It’s Two You Gon’ Dig

Filed under: The Bucket, What the hell is going on here? — nedryerson @ 7:37 am

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Surprise! There are at least two more football games to be played.

In today’s installment, Andre Ruffin is committing the classic sports sin of “looking past” the next game in anticipation to a showdown with a rival. In his estimation, the Tilden win is a foregone conclusion. In sports cliché fashion, an upset at the hands of Tilden is all but guaranteed. Of course, this analysis is presented in the utter vacuum of knowledge that is Gil Thorp where we have no idea of the relative strengths and weaknesses of teams in the Valley Conference. Sometimes, Marty or Marjie will pop in to give us a “tale of the tape” synopsis of an upcoming game, but we have none of that. We’ve been busy around here with the film crew.

Speaking of the film crew, I can’t help thinking about Clark and Leonard. Did they not earn a celebratory meal at the bucket with their cinematography and fancy getaway driving? Now that Joe Bolek is in solid with Tiki and Andre, what about Clark and Leonard? Do they have carte blanche to hang out in the Bolek media room and watch all the crap that pretentious Joe won’t allow?

Another point of interest here is Andre’s answer to Tiki about the rivalry with Valley Tech. It’s something that goes back to ’61! If we’re just going to dick around here, how about fleshing that out a bit, Rubin? I don’t have the benefit of a Gil Thorp football treasury or online archive to get the story. For now, the story is “they take cheap shots”. It’s more of the same: Other country clubs outside Milford turn a blind eye to cheating in golf tournaments, New Thayer High harbors violent gangs and Valley Tech are cheap shot artists. We get it.

November 26, 2018

Could You Describe The Tumult?

Filed under: Just plain sad, Milford Idiots — nedryerson @ 7:21 am

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Now we see the extent of Joe Bolek’s plan and it was about as nonsensical as we imagined. Sure, they did capture the New Thayer crew of miscreants on film (or video) emerging from the school like the AI bad guys in a video game. They captured the beginnings of Tiki getting roughed up and the bad guys pivoting to attack Joe. The question is: why did they need to do this? To prove to the Milford officials that the threat to Tiki at New Thayer was credible enough for Tiki’s family to be forgiven any corners they may have cut to get him enrolled in Milford? Was that necessary at all?

Here’s another question: Does New Thayer know about this gang who just lingers in front of the school ready to commit acts of violence in broad daylight at the drop of a hat? Maybe New Thayer and other institutions outside of Milford (like those other country clubs we saw this summer) are just amoral places where anything goes in pursuit of personal gain.

Here’s a further question: How stupid was Joe Bolek’s plan. How certain were they that at least one member of the New Thayer crew wouldn’t continue to rough up Tiki when Joe called out Bugs Bunny style, Yoo Hoo! Over here boys? Seems like a large margin for era in keeping somebody from getting their ass kicked. It does look like Clark was operating another camera in case Joe started getting his ass kicked. Yes, we finally know the long haired film geek’s name. It’s Clark. Hi Clark.

Speaking of margins, this narrow escape really plays fast and loose with logic. But of course, we’re using a sort of cinematic logic where you cut away from action and then cut back and it seems that the principles haven’t moved forward at all or even moved backwards. But now I’m starting to feel like Annie Wilkes in Misery. Rubin and Whigham are dirty birds. They cheated! Those miscreants were on top of Joe Bolek before he even picked up the tripod!. Forget it, Annie. It’s Milfordtown.

Oh, and Leonard must be the other film geek. Hi Leonard.

November 19, 2018

The Family That Jogs Together Slogs Together

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 7:50 am

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Remember when we thought that Tiki’s sister might have had a developmental delay or other specific learning disability that would require her to attend school somewhere other than Milford’s traditional elementary (where all the fifth graders know each other)? Was it just me, or did Rubin really kind of lean into that point? I guess that was just an early glimpse into the Gordian Knot of Tiki’s relocation from New Thayer to Milford and wasn’t really intended to be explored in any depth.

We went on to focus on crappy cars, crappy apartments, tardiness and eligibility to play sports. It seems like Rubin really stepped in it on the eligibility story. The Jansen’s tried to pull a fast one, or so it appears. Kaz got to do some  more of his fancy detective work, and then ultimately threatened to kill Tiki to get the truth. Then Gil pontificated about eligibility and keeping his own scrupulous adherence to the rules on point, without ever indicating that he really has a personal mastery of what the eligibility requirements are at all. Now that’s what I call Gil Being Gil.

So the heart of the story is that Tiki got mixed up with the wrong crowd at New Thayer (some nasty people) and his family orchestrated a transfer to Milford. They may have fudged a few things, but it was only out of concern for Tiki and getting him away from the bad element at New Thayer. How bad was it? Only a Gil and Mimi training montage can do justice to the depth of criminal behavior Tiki was party to! Gil and Mimi’s jogging will wash away the stain of nastiness and then we can move on, right? Right?

Tiki’s use of the word crosswise is interesting. Tiki got crosswise with the guys doing the vandalism and the burglaries. Does that mean he got involved or that he was a witness? Are we talking about some sort of witness protection situation here? C’mon Rubin.

It only dawned on me about a month late that I’ve been blogging to one extent or another on This Week in Milford for ten years. Here is my first post. Funny how time flies.

November 12, 2018

Straight Answer

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz — nedryerson @ 6:38 am

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Tiki had to leave New Thayer. We will find out why if we are allowed to have more straight answers.

So, Tiki’s family, in order to contend with his removal from New Thayer is renting an apartment in Milford to establish residence. Something about that doesn’t add up. I don’t expect further explanation of why or how they did this. It’s just another one of those things we are supposed to accept.

That pose in Panel 2 is used a lot.  With tilted head, a character clutches the side/back of the neck. Maybe there are swarms of mosquitoes in Milford and characters are often swatting them.

 

November 5, 2018

Something Weird

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz — nedryerson @ 6:44 am

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What is happening here? Andre and Joe need to get to the bottom of Tiki Jansen’s tardies! What could it mean? He has to drive in from outside of town!? Say it isn’t so! (Shall we take a look at the Milford HS school district map? No, we don’t have one? Okay, nevermind.)

Joe and Andre chase Coach Kaz through the school and up the stairs! (Is it an optical illusions? Do the stairs go up or down? No? Not buying it? Neither am I…although when they make that turn to climb that next set, they may have some trouble.)

Is Coach Kaz receptive to this type of Scooby and the Gang investigative behavior? I think generally not. He likes to lift weights and tool around with that awesome new film study software, so he probably doesn’t have time for this nonsense. Can he just bang Joe and Andre’s heads together and run away? Stay tuned.

October 29, 2018

Andre Ruffin Vaporized By UFO (If Only)

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Milford won its first road game of the season! Mike Filion had a big night! Punting (or long snapping) didn’t appear to be an issue, so I guess that plot point is behind us.

Some knuckleheaded Mudlark threw his helmet in the air in celebration of the victory. Were there any resulting concussions? Did we have a story about concussions once? Nobody remembers. Probably because we’ve been collectively beaten over the head so many times by these plots.

We’re stalled on the snooping behavior of Andre and Joe, so let’s trot out an old standard: Marty Moon asks a dickish, leading question of Gil. Ouch! What did I tell you about hitting us over the head, Gil Thorp?! Tune in tomorrow for Gil’s snarktastic retort.

Interestingly (no, no really) Marty doesn’t get an opportunity to interview Gil immediately after the much ballyhooed victory, but rather has to catch Gil at a subsequent practice during a stretching session. Wait, is that Marty? I’m just assuming because of the dumb question. Yeah, it’s gotta be Marty. Nobody else besides Marjie cares. Nobody.

To shake off the boredom, let’s get into the wayback machine for a video. This had some HEAVY rotation in the early days of MTV:

Wow, I haven’t listened to that for ages and I have to say, that song’s kinda weak. I guess it’s mostly because it seems to drag on for about a minute and a half more than it needs to.

October 22, 2018

The Corner Of Noneya & Business

Filed under: big arms, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos, premature baldness — nedryerson @ 7:11 am

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Tiki Jansen drives a crappy, old car and he’s chronically late. His sister Angela is in the fifth grade. Andre Ruffin’s sister, who’s also in the fifth grade,  has never heard of Angela. Andre is determined to unlock the mystery.

Maybe Angela goes to a different school than Andre’s sister, be it private, special needs or just another school. I guess Milford is supposed to be small enough that there’d be only one elementary school and all the fifth graders should know each other.

What are we doing here? Why do these kids have to investigate each other?

I wonder what a strip with real stories of what’s happening in the lives of real kids would look like. I really do. In the last couple years a few books came out with some interesting perspectives on public school classrooms and the kids in them. These are both personal takes from a long time teacher (Hall of Fools) and an established writer who taught as a substitute for a year (Substitute: Going to School with a Thousand Kids). Both of those were a little harrowing to read. Maybe it is better to live in the sanitized, “1950s with cellphones” Gil Thorp.

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