This Week in Milford

July 30, 2021

Freak hand golf

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, golf, Milford Weirdos, talking hand — robmize2013 @ 9:02 pm

Club pro John Jawor is actually a real club pro at Plum Hollow in Southfield Michigan. Thats lovely.

No idea why he cares so much about Mr. Paleys match against Carter Hendricks. That bunker on number 6 must be a monstrosity, because why the hell would he remember one shot out of one bunker 10 holes before the end of the match? I sure the heck dont start my review of a round with how my opponent got out of bunkers. Much less put my hand in front of my face while doing so. 2 shots 10 holes apart by his opponent – hey Paley, more about you next time and less about Mr. Sandman.

On to P3, where Gil is on the driving range and the pro is asking him about some random guy playing golf on the course. If Gil is busy giving lessons how does he know if Hendricks is a reputable player or a sandbagger, as the pros question would suggest. No idea how the info in the first 2 panels would suggest anything suspicious, but in this strip, we know anything goes. And how does Gil know how much time the pro has to watch 1 player at his course, when he has lessons to give, and many other duties related to running a golf course?

In other news, I’m heading to Colorado Sunday to watch the team formerly known as the Chicago Cubs take on the Rockies. No worries as I’ll be back Friday to do this job, and Im sure by then we’ll have more info on that cheatin sack o lies Hendricks. Dream on, TWIMers!

July 23, 2021

Dirty thoughts

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Alumni, Secret Thoughts — robmize2013 @ 9:53 pm

So Heathers dad is congratulating her on her new gig as assistant football coach, entirely hired over lemonade by a head coach who didnt know she was coming to the golf course in the first place and hadnt seen her in 4 years anyway. Sheesh, I know Tony LaRussa was hired over a cup of coffee 30 years after last managing the White Sox (I still have a soft spot in my heart for him after he brought a division title to my town for the first time even though he got pantsed in the playoffs; they wernt gonna lose to the Phillies in the World Series but couldnt get past the smarter Orioles) and like Jerry Reinsdorf, Gil isnt even interviewing anyone else for this position; but my god, how the hell does he know her level of coaching knowledge 4 years after last applying it?

I used to play the organ for a number of years, and lost interest gradually after high school. Other things came along etc. If you think I could sit down and play a song 4 years after I last touched the keyboard, I’d say you were nuts. And even Heather knows its not a “real” job. Sounds more like an internship. And in P3 we have her dads though balloon saying .. we’ll see how this gig affects the rest of your time when I can use you as I see fit….

Cant wait to find out what Pops has in mind!

July 16, 2021

Summer Burns

Cant believe Heather doesnt know where Gil is in mid – July– didnt she go to Milford for 4 summers and hang out at MCC at least once?

What the hell is going on in P2? Bunch of little kids doing everything but learn to play golf. Nobodys even looking at Gil, or at each other. Again, the parents are presumably paying for golf lessons, and Gil says– Ok kids, lessons over. Go back to goofing around with golf clubs that in 1 case are longer then the kid. And if thats a putting green, then I’m a monkeys uncle.

P3 has the reunion with another former student, around whom the summer plot will presumably run. And first things first– Heather has no idea what she’s gonna do after college. No shame– many people take a while to find their niche in the competitive job market no matter how they did in college. But my god– by freakin July at least she should have SOMETHING lined up. Lifeguard, internship at some business, store manager, jesus– well maybe I’ll head over to the golf course and have lemonade with Gildo, and he can hook me up with some part time coaching gig until I find a real job. Those counselors at Milford really did a good job preparing me for the future. When all else fails, head to the golf course. Heck with college degrees, resumes, interviews, more interviews, ol Gil will always bail me out. Hey I could always wax the floors with Steve Luhm.

July 2, 2021

All summer long

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, song parody — robmize2013 @ 3:27 pm

It was 2021 his thoughts were short his hair was long

Caught somewhere between a boy and man

She was 17 but she was far from in between

It was summertime in northern Milfordland.

Zane was pitching part time

Washing floors had no time

That damn library board election went nowhere.

They didnt have no internet

But man they never will forget

The way Brito told Zane to comb his hair.

And Gil was drinking lemonade

Having cake with old man Abe

Making love in the library was Zanes favorite song.

Sipping coffee at Cantina

Not thinking bout graduation

Singing “Library Board Election” all summer long.

June 25, 2021


Filed under: freak hands, Mimi Thorp, Pointy Fingers — robmize2013 @ 7:59 pm

Thankfully this storyline is winding down (OMG what if it isnt and we’re stuck with these bozos all summer?) and like it or not, Corinna is headed to Oh My God College for 2 years, then transferring to Le Moyne where she will have roomates that need roomates. How Mimi knows all this is beyond belief.

Really, did Mimi discuss CC’s plans for the future with her, or is it all about playing softball? There’s more to going to college then athletics, and most of these kids will wind up doing something other then sports when all is said and done. There are a LOT of terrific schools; again, this stuff all should have been done at least a year ago, Everyone isnt the college type. My class had 80% go to college in some capacity, but that leaves 20 percent who didnt, and its gotta come from within in regards to ones future, and parents can be a good guiding force, but what we have here is like signing up your kid for summer camp when they dont want to go, in hopes they will learn to like it once theyre there. College is way more then that. Its main purpose is to build a foundation for the career of ones choice. Plus of course going away to school is invaluable to growing up into adulthood. I recommend going away to college for at least 2 years to everyone if they have the means; the experience for me was so dramatic everyone said what a different person I was when I came home. You learn so many life skills like money management, time management, housekeeping, eating and sleeping properly, all on your own. Nobody tells you to go to class when youre in college. Its all up to you; and life afterward for many is shaped by how they handled all these things in college. Many jobs are very competitive and the good ones require a resume starting with a college degree. Even for those who fail to graduate, the life experiences gained are worth way more then the paper a diploma is printed on.

And CC has to decide what she wants to do, because you can only play softball so long (and all the other sports). Eventually the fun ends and you need to earn a living somewhere doing something.

What we Have gathered is her mom has decided that she can fend for herself without CC. Thats fine and dandy, but why spring all this on CC after she made it clear she didnt want to go? And another thing– once she’s 18, its her call on this stuff and everything else. I doubt we have time left in this storyline to explain how Mimi and her mom enrolled CC in college without her permission, but I wanna see how this turns out before CC disappears into the comic strip black hole along with the rest of the ex-players.

June 18, 2021

College is a hobby?

Filed under: Mimi Thorp, softball, Valley Modified — robmize2013 @ 8:02 pm

And the plot comes to a screeching halt as we go back to Mimi trying unsuccessfully to get Corinna to go to college. Now its – How are your grades? Mimi– dont ALL the players have to maintain a GPA above 2.0 to play extracirricular sports in the first place? Now — June 18- when everyone should be out of school and working on their suntans like I was last week in Myrtle Beach– your asking about grades?? If this isnt harassment I dont know what is. CC should plant that mitt right in Mimi’s face and walk off the field, never to be heard from again.

Way to advance the plot Rubin.

June 4, 2021

Throwing to a recycled panel

Filed under: actual action, Central, Mimi Thorp, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 6:55 pm

And the stupidity continues, with Corinna throwing the ball over the fence into a clearly recycled Panel 2, which was used for a home run some time ago. Why the hell would a Milford fielder suddenly change uniforms mid practice?

May 24 – the game with Central- close enough. Unreal how Whigham thinks we cant remember anything before last week.

On April 29, Mimi first asked Corinna about college, while having cupcakes with her. Corinna basically said her mothers mental health came first, so not interested. 5 weeks later, and we’re still beating the dead horse. Its either this or the Library Showdown. Pick your poison folks. Why we cant have a number of storylines that take a week or so instead of a death march for months going over the saaaaaame stuuuuf. Then on to the next bunch of miserable characters for 3 months of summer fun.

But perhaps P3 offers a chance for Corinna to switch positions, to pitcher. Just idiotic enough for this strip to give it a whirl. Strong arm, yeah. I could fill Yankee Stadium with strong armed players who got their ears knocked back either for lack of control, or lack of command of a second pitch to throw off the batters timing. Dont let that arm fool you, Mimi. For gods sake, if we see Corinna on the mound next week, we’ll know the inmates are running the asylum.

Finally— I will be taking a much deserved week off next week to return to Myrtle Beach for golf, the ocean, and the beach. Of the 8 trips I took last year, that was my favorite; its like paradise to a golfer, and I never get tired of the ocean and its views. . So giving a heads up for a fill- in in case Joan Rivers isnt available..

May 28, 2021

Ya think that librarian should be history?

The level of realism in this strip keeps hitting new lows. Can you imagine a librarian asking a question like that?

The only conversation I ever had with librarians involved either checking out books, donating magazines and needing a slip for charity purposes, and the occasional question about finding something in the stacks. They never had the first word. I would be so shocked at such a question I would report her to the library board. Oh yeah, Zanes running for a seat. Then just tell her to MYOFB (mind your own fuckin business)

We then have another unexplainable chain of events. If Zane texted Katy before his convo with the librarian, why doesnt he know already if she will be joining him in the history section? ( goddammit why the hell is the librarian snooping around checking on just 2 people in 1 section? Do your own job lady!) And you (yeah you Zane) dont have to elaborate about her being mad at you. Just say “I prefer not to answer that thank you” So its just one uncomfortable moment after another today. Thanks Rubin. Nothing like kicking off your holiday weekend analyzing this pile of manure.

I think Mr. Brito has his fingers all over this, trying to scare Zane off the election ballot. He filled the librarian in on everything and she now subtlety is trying to scare him away from the library with her inane comments. You can fly solo all the way to the unemployment office Miss Librarian.

Nothing like the good guy in the strip getting treated like dirt.

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