This Week in Milford

February 19, 2021

Oh for chrissakes let it go already!

Filed under: freak hands, shadow figures, talking hand — robmize2013 @ 8:25 pm

The plot is now spinning its wheels as if it were stuck in the snow we’ve gotten over the past month. I get home from Muskegon Feb 1 and there’s a foot on the ground. Then last Monday we get 17 inches more. A reporter on the radio said his table in the yard had 35 inches of snow on it. Sheesh, if I stood on top of the snow piles at the bottom of my driveway I could see the top of my roof. My neighbors have 2 grills and furniture on their deck, and theyre all loaded with snow. Roofs are collapsing every day out here, and I’m praying one of those huge icicles doesnt slice me in half when I walk under em delivering packages to houses. The business strip mall I service is like an ice rink with inumerable hazards on the ground and above.At least the parking lot is clean. Ive got so much salt on the bottom of my shoes I could fill my shaker in the kitchen. My car was so dirty last week I couldnt find it in the parking lot at the grocery store. Hasnt been purple in a while. I went to the car wash and came out driving a block of ice on wheels.

And did I mention we hardly had anything in December and January? Ah, winter in the Midwest.

The 2 guys are engaged in a discussion connected to being late because the cop stopped him and yada yada yada. Yeah everything happens for a reason. But nothing has happened in a week in this plot, and that cop basically stopped Doug twice, and wasted Both of their time in the process. Is Tom on crutches? For a mild sprain? I’d say anything mild you just walk it off and limp around for a day or 2. I never once needed them and I’m sure I sprained my ankles half a dozen times here and there. So Im calling bullshit on the diagnosis.

And shouldnt Doug be ahead of Tom, holding the door for HIM, instead of vice versa? When anyone figures that out, let me know.

February 13, 2021

Hey roadhog, ease up!


Only in Milford can it snow on a clear blue day. But Doug is still speeding, and the cop pulls him over. Hey, if my car took up the whole road and no one else was on it, I’d pay no attention to the speedometer either. And apparently the cop knows him well enough that he addresses Doug by name without asking for his license. Yes its just a friendly warning, but if I’m Tom I’m a little nervous that Doug converses with policemen on a regular basis. In other words, he speeds regularly in his GTO, on or off the racetrack.

P2 the 2 boys seem way closer to each other then should be normal in a car like that. Obviously Doug couldnt pay for extra width in his 2nd car.

The cop not only has on a tie, which I never see on cops around here, but his outfit is a bit colorful for a policemans; he looks like he’s ready to enter a race himself. All he needs is a Pennzoil label above his breast pocket and he’s good to go.

February 5, 2021

High fiving for that?

Filed under: ?, High Five Fail, lame jokes — robmize2013 @ 10:25 pm

First of all– I went to Muskegon last weekend to find all the restaurants in Michigan were closed for indoor dining, so wound up eating in my car, my motel room, in a heated igloo, and a cold bar deck, along with under a tent at the sports complex where I went luging and ice skating. So no cold beer for me. And no luging medal either, as my fastest of 4 runs was 21.35 seconds, about 2 seconds behind the bronze medalest in the mens division. We had ideal weather, temps around 30 degrees and overcast. 3 inches of snow fell overnight Sunday, and that was it. Of course back home in Chicago we got a foot, as it snowed from midafternoon Saturday to late Sunday night, and it was sure a sight when I got off the interstate. So I enjoyed my trip overall. Plenty of people wiped out before the finish line so I held my own. Try again next year!

Obviously out in Milford the weather is mild, not a flake of snow on the ground, and fall jackets. Wish I could dry off my car like Doug is doing, hatless. And Vic is making up his own problem; dude– ya cant please everyone; just do what you feel like doing to better YOUR life, and let the chips fall where they may. If theyre really old friends they wont mind you pursuing new interests.

P3 — not only does one guy finish the others sentence, but explain Vics comment to me. I pour root beer and drink it. They sound like gangrene patients to me.

January 29, 2021

Dont stop now Tessi

Filed under: Milford Weirdos, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 5:54 pm

First of all, some digression– Nobody got elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame this year; however, last years ceremony that was cancelled was to feature (among others) Ken ‘Hawk’ Harrelson, who won the Ford Frick Award last year of course, and thus was denied opportunity to speak. As many know, Hawk was full of euphemisms, or Hawkisms, a lot of which refer to golf which he also played well. One of his sayings was “Dont stop now boys!” when the White Sox (which he broadcast for many years before retiring after 2019) were putting up crooked numbers on the board. I’m sure Hawk is looking forward to attending this years event with no new players and thus making up for lost time last year. He’s a true character of the game.

So Tessi is using a Hawkism here in P3, but didnt she just tell Vic what a great voice he had? Why not tell him then what we have to wait til tomorrow for? Sheesh. Guess one compliment at a time is her speed. This comic drags stuff out better then a hoarder pulling out his trash. Why not say – hey great voice! Can I borrow your notes from physics class for a day? Badda bing badda boom. And we move on. But AS SHE STOPS NOW SHE SAYS SHE CANT STOP NOW.

And if its that personal, why say it in front of 2 other mopes? And who holds ONE book as theyre scooting past? I always carried several items with me between classes (when I didnt have time to stop now). She needs TWO hands to hold ONE book. How many hands does she need to hold her cell phone?

You had time to squeeze someones arm, but not ask a favor? And I dont know about you, but ol Vic may be getting a big head about his PA success, as he remarks about his fan mail. Who the hell is sending a high school PA announcer fan mail? And he sits with the boys because theyre gonna read it? He cant?

Enough of that nonsense– on a personal note, tomorrow I’m heading to Muskegon Michigan for my 3rd annual weekend luging trip, once again trying to bring home a medal after finishing 5th last year in my division, 2 seconds from the bronze. Practice makes perfect, hoping to stand on the podium this year and have a blast as always regardless. I’ll report on my efforts next week.

Finally a song by the Who back when they could hear what they were singing: Tessi’s got a squeeze box in her locker apparently.

January 22, 2021

Matchup time

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Mimi Thorp — robmize2013 @ 8:54 pm

Basketball is a game of matchups. Good coaches recognize quickly when their players are at a disadvantage with who theyre guarding and will either sub in a bench player who can handle the player better or switch assignments with who’s on the floor. A famous example is the 1991 NBA Finals which turned when , after losing Game 1 with Magic Johnson able to distribute the ball effectively to the Laker scorers, Phil Jackson put Scottie Pippen on Magic for the rest of the series and the Bulls swept the next 4 games, with Scottie much more effective guarding Magic and stalling the Laker offense. ( Hey Gil you reading this? Coaching matters!!)

And they also switch from man to zone when the situation dictates; (NBA was different for years with its illegal zone until I believe they relaxed it a bit) and a lot of times a zone will help with controlling a big center or forward who is scoring inside, packing the lane with bodies and daring the opponent to beat you from the outside with guards shooting 3’s or longer jump shots. Pick your poison, basically. You make your opponent beat you with its weakness and you’ll come out on top more often then not.

So in this case if I’m Mimi, its ok to listen to players input as theyre the ones out on the court and they have a sense of how they feel guarding someone, but.. Corinna doesnt get to decide who Tessi should guard. Thats Mimis call. Of course we have the last name thing causing some fracture of team unity that will be dealt with eventually, but for now Mimi has to decide who guards who, and not be afraid to use a zone if Corinna turns out to be a turnstyle as well. I have a feeling she will get physical with 21; (hey they give you 5 fouls for a reason) and if C gets in her head like that, just make the free throws and you’re good. Of course we have no score visible, and that dictates how you play on D too. Appears to be a close game, so an exciting finish looms.. Earn that paycheck Mimi!

January 16, 2021

Throw some ketchup on that hot dog


I’m assuming Vic has a tutor for some of his classes as in P2 (after studying and prepping for the game like ALL announcers do, even though he’s only a PA announcer) he’s walking on an ice rink past a sign that says READ. Did anyone ever see a sign that says READ?? The whole idea is to READ the sign, right? Reading a sign that says READ is,, superfluous, to put it mildly.

Hope they dont slip on the ice while skating to their next class, which may require reading.

Maumee High School is located in Maumee, Ohio, and its enrollment was 693 students in 2017, so they only count head every 4 years or so when a new crop of kids come in. Why count every year when its the same old kids?

Does Vic do road games too? PA announcers only do home games in my world, so looks like we found the first hole in the plot. He’ll need an upgraded vehicle for all that driving. How many states does Milford need to go to for non-conference games for crying out loud? Perrysburg is also in Ohio, and only 6 miles from Maumee, but I thought they played Rogers last game? Theyre from (holy) Toledo Ohio, so either everyones coming to Milford from the Buckeye State or Gil won free gas from Speedway for a year. Hard to believe you play 3 straight games against new opponents. I’m needing some Goshen in my soup pretty soon.

January 8, 2021

Now thats a f-f-f-freak hand

Filed under: basketball, freak hands, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 8:34 pm

Well its fine and dandy that Vic made it through the game without getting assaulted either by the opposing team or his own, by making up nicknames that may or may not have been approved beforehand. Whats Marty Moon gonna do for an encore now that nobodys listening to him anymore?

See you there? How do they know Vic doesnt have some postgame work to do adding up stats etc, or heck, doing homework? Maybe its Friday night anyway. A little camaraderie with the PA announcer doesnt hurt any, but I KNOW I never saw a PA announcer who fraternized with the team.

Ever see a hand so big it could unscrew the ceiling lights all by itself? Now you have.

Nice that they already ordered food before Vic strolled in. I’m sure he was busy doing what I said in the last paragraph. I imagine they’ll come up with some more nicknames for other players for the next game. The fly in the ointment is coming though, and Rubin is doing a good job of disguising it so far. But so far this plot is rather painless.

Finally, my video will feature a guy we lost last night, Tommy Lasorda, former manager of the Dodgers who ate at every restaurant in Chicago, and then some. Probably hadnt paid for a meal there in who knows how long, what with all the people he knew and who he was; a true baseball ambassador who was the first manager I really cheered for when his Dodgers played the Yankees in the World Series. I still remember this bullshit call by the umps involving Reggie Jackson. I was as mad as Tommy.

January 1, 2021

Gotta start somewhere

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 10:43 pm

Normally high school basketball starts around November, right after football ends. Not in these parts– they have the curtain-raiser on New Years Day. #34 certainly isnt shooting at the basket, unless he shoots sideways all the time, and the fans will certainly be chanting “AIR BALL!!” after many of his shots this season.

The Rogers Rams hail from Toledo Ohio,,_Ohio)

so they should have bus legs coming to Michigan. But they apparently didnt stay up til midnight last night, so theyre starting off 2021 strong, although #22 sure resembles one of the Milford players from last year. Wonder if the artist merely switched colors on a recycled panel.

At any rate, we’re off and running on another year of Milford shenanagans.

Older Posts »

Blog at