This Week in Milford

July 11, 2020

Do you feel like I do??

Filed under: general nonsense, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, lessons learned — robmize2013 @ 4:47 pm

Yes I’m posting almost a day late, but my main problem was I couldnt copy or find the strip anywhere for some reason. Now it works, so I’ll do a quick post.

So in the end as always, all is forgiven. Gil tells the dopes at State about the farce that was the head to head matchup of the century, which turned into a picnic. And THAT was what sealed the deal for the Mayor to get into this joint they call a college?? Sheesh.

Time for a song:\

July 5, 2020

Baseball, pizza, apple subs, and… Ice Cream??

As much as we all wish our colleague Teenchy a swift recovery from whatever is ailing him, the first thought that crossed my mind when I heard about his condition was.. the strip was finally so far off the tracks that it made him physically ill.

And I’m sure thats not far off for the rest of us.

How on Gods green earth is this happening? We start off with the promise of a possibly exciting matchup thats so unknown that we dream of a memorable conclusion that will have the Milfordites talking about it the rest of the summer.

What we got is…not even close. How much food can these players eat in the first place to be able to play at any level resembling competitive when its already 90 degrees or so out (Yes its summer, we knew that before the game started)? I mean, really. During a normal athletic event most players are happy enough with water or Gatorade. This is like a Thanksgiving dinner for chrissake. And these kids are supposed to play with all these carbs and calories and sweets laid out for them?

I had already mentioned the umpire and the fans– did they know what was coming? Nope. Whoever planned this foodfest has shit for brains. And thats putting it mildly.

So I wont belabor their noble efforts to keep observing the constant interruptions in their job (ump) and their free time (fans). Which in any world beside ours would lead to downright mutiny.

Thank God they didnt charge admission for this or they’d be storming the Basilica.

Wherever this storyline is headed from here, somebodys got some major explaining to do. And I cant believe they have a rational one.

Get well soon Teenchy!!


July 3, 2020

Wasnt this gonna be a big game?

Dont know where to start- fielding tips, batting tips, pizza breaks, an umpire who by all rights should’ve headed for the hills an hour ago, and now — a sub sandwich delivery guy??  I’ve heard of fiascos but this – tops em all. Its almost turning into a Harlem Globetrotters game, where a semblance of a basketball game turns into a charade with goofy timeouts, confetti in a water bucket, and non-competitive action.

But the difference is WE KNEW BEFOREHAND! This shambles of a game is wasting the time of the fans in the stands (where have they been for 3 days?) and of course Mr. Umpire, who has the balls of a midget. No ump worth his salt would put up with anything like this fiasco. Throw everyone out of the park and go home. Thats what a real man in blue would do. Wasting his fuckin time showing delinquents how to play baseball.. not happening, man. Gimme my 25 bucks and see ya.

Of course with the odd angle of the catcher in P2, the ump stands a good chance of getting clocked in the nuts with a well-timed fastball. But since he doesnt have any, no worries.

June 26, 2020

No Mas.

Filed under: actual action, baseball, lessons learned, Walking and Talking — robmize2013 @ 7:49 pm

Well this isnt going quite the way I thought it would– the Mayors team is getting overrun by a Milford club without one of its better players.  I had ideas about a fairly close game where the inferior team pulls off the upset after hanging around and building up the pressure on the more talented side, which finally cracks making a crucial error allowing the winning run to pull off the upset.

Nope. When you dont have pitching and defense, you got nothin.  Even with a sexy backstop with 2 first names.

Its not only an embarrassing rout, its now a farce, as one of Milfords players is taking over on the mound for the Mayor (or so I figure) .

So basically the Larks are ending the competitive portion of the game. Its now just a glorified scrimmage, since no matter what happens from this point, its not Team A vs Team B anymore. So be it. The Mayors team was thrown together in 2 weeks. Milford is a real team who just played a high school varsity season. The worst team they played all season was better then this outfit. Who didnt see this coming?

The Mayor going to center field –  The Ultimate Walk Of Shame.


June 19, 2020

She fights authority, we’ll see who wins

Filed under: actual action — robmize2013 @ 8:15 pm

Talk about stretching out a plot. We’re now having tryouts for individual positions, for whats basically a practice game. Of course a girl who we didnt know squat about last week is now the next Johnny Bench. Sheesh. She showed she can catch a baseball thrown right in the center of her mitt, and also can stand and pat her glove with her helmet off. This team calls you amazing if you can butter bread with one hand. Woo hoo.

No wonder theyre a bunch of misfits. Anybody walking in with an ounce of talent looks like Joe Pro.

Although I have to say, it helps having a good catcher. In 2000 my second team I managed went 5-10, starting 0-7 before finishing respectably the second half of the season when they started hitting better after seeing so many pitches. Our catcher was the best player on the team, not only for his baseball ability but his leadership; he was like a coach on the field since he faced everyone behind the plate. His intangibles were most evident one night when he got ejected for bumping the umpire accidently as he walked off the field before our last at bat trailing by 1 run. His mom went ballistic at the ump, and we had to restrain her before I could figure out who was gonna catch the next inning if we caught up. (We didnt, largely because our heart and soul was out of the game.)  A memorable night for sure. The old movie  “Kill the Umpire” was in a few fans minds during the brouhaha..

So we’ll see where Corina goes with this venture; at least she appears to have more personality then the deadbeats back at old Milford High. Now all they need is a 1st baseman, and 2nd baseman… hey maybe John Fogerty can play center


But another John gets the title of the post—-



June 11, 2020

Metapost: Heading to Tut’s birthplace

Filed under: metapost — robmize2013 @ 8:18 pm

Hey gang, I’m going to need a fill-in for tomorrow– going on my next vacation– to Phoenix. Was supposed to be going to London to watch the Cubs – Cardinals series, but the virus put the kibosh on that. So decided to play golf instead and at the time the only state open for it was Arizona, so here we are. Temps for the weekend are: 109, 107, 106, and 108. Looking forward to the dry heat that Ive heard about for years.  So thanks to whomever fills in..I’m sure you’ll enjoy writing about the impending practice game.

I will also be looking for King Tuts condo, which should still be standing since it was made of stona. Steve Martin will fill you in some more on the first resident of Arizona (well, other then his mom)



June 5, 2020

All you need now is a brain

Filed under: baseball, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Valley Modified — robmize2013 @ 7:52 pm

Well now we know why the Mayor is in whats basically reform school– he’s a dope. Yeah all we need is everything you need to play a game. Even though nobody has that right now. Hope they remember they need an umpire.

But we have a few weeks to get ready. All we need is to ask Gil for use of the high school diamond.

Why the hell cant they find another field somewhere in the vicinity that isnt being used? Jesus its only a practice game! Why even ask Gil about it? Well, because you’re using teammates who may be needed in a real game sometime. I have no idea why they dont wait til schools out and everyones off for the summer, (even though thats the case now, and in a few weeks it’ll be July, and the players will be on their own, save for summer ball, but thats another can of worms we arent getting into here.)

Why does anyone need help with equipment? Bring your glove, and at that level they should All have their own bat. Catchers gear needs 2 sets, so maybe thats an issue, but otherwise what else do they really need? Baseballs should be able to be bought or rounded up between the 2 teams. A scorebook can be drawn up in a notebook easily.

I’m actually ok with this whole idea, as long as its After the high school season is completed. But they dont need to use the high school diamond, which should be off limits when school is out. It should be an interesting matchup, like the Bad News Bears against the Yankees back in the 70’s. And we know how that one turned out…

May 29, 2020

Small sample size

Filed under: baseball, freak hands, The Bucket — robmize2013 @ 8:46 pm

Great to see old friends getting together– I was with 11 adults 2 kids and a dog last weekend at Shawnee National Forest. We had 3 campsites and 2 hotel rooms. They didnt allow tent camping so the 3 of us who didnt own campers stayed at the hotel. We hiked 4 different trails, kayaked the Herron River for 2 hours, and saw some cottonmouth snakes. Weather was perfect. One guy even paddled to Kentucky.  Thanks again to teenchy for filling in.

And these old friends are happy to see each other too- .. even though I wouldnt miss the Mayor smelling up my car with bad food 4 days a week. And Alfano hitting .300 over what? 2 games? 4 games? When were these games played? All we’ve seen is the girls one game the Mayor photobombed.

Wonder if the Mayor will get re-instated after the school year-baseball season is over; methinks he gets another shot in summer ball. There’s a good storyline for the summer.

Next order of business is the Mayors friendship with Phoebe– lets see how its developed; or messed up, or most likely– forgotton.


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