This Week in Milford

January 19, 2018

If I say Douchbag, Gary might appear

Filed under: Boredom in Milford — robmize2013 @ 6:54 pm

 

Cant believe we’re meandering along just like the last plot, going over material we knew already – the kids are from Puerto Rico where their house was damaged, and the girl cant believe she gets real food just by saying the name of the food. Wow. Shows how we in America take things for granted, like clean running water, toilet access, sturdy homes with good roofs and heat,  grocery stores in the area stocked with food, and clothing stores with a variety of comfortable duds. Guess it is a reality check and a reminder that we got it pretty good up here.

I sense there may be more to the kids’ tale then meets the eye, with the question ‘thats why your here, right?’  At least we have a sense of some anticipation for future strips, but for chrissake I wish theyd quit repeating what they said yesterday every day. We might even play a basketball game by Valentines Day. If they cleaned up the damage back home at the rate this strip goes, the kids will get back around the time theyre eligible for Social Security. (I say Social Security and they bring me a check!)

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January 12, 2018

Chances of this storyline being any good – Nada.

Filed under: basketball, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 6:12 pm

This thread is already unraveling with Primo showing his shooting form in the office; it dont mean a damn thing if you’re laying bricks on the court. Only in comic strip land can Primo be eligible this season anyway. Transfers in our world have to sit out a semester.

If he started class today – how the hell is he just now wandering into Gils office? Why isnt he ….IN CLASS??? Gil is a dope. Oh just start whenever you want. I keep my students here all summer and then they play football til New Years Day. Who needs a calendar or a watch?

 

Now for a parody song based on another parody song I heard the other day about the Bears new O-line coach Harry Hestand. The tune is REM’s Stand from 1988.

Gil Thorp what do you do at wooork?

Cant coach Larks

Any old direction would do fine but you dont have the time

Gil Thorp You’re not doing good woork–

Cant find guards

Think about your coaching wonder why your team is the worst.

Soto cant play

His uncle’s a scum

The veer is a joke

The games are not fun

Marty is gonna put you on the ground

When Heather steps in, your career is done.

Gil Thorp what do you do at woork?

Cant use Case

Pick a new direction may we suggest towards the defense

Gil Thorp you’re not doing good wooork–

Cant find backs

Think about the running game and please try to make it suck less.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 5, 2018

Primo!

Filed under: basketball, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 8:05 pm

So now Gil finally realizes its January 5 and he has no idea who will be on his basketball roster. Hey Gil– use one of the centers as a power forward. Then take the biggest guard and make him a small forward (like I was. My game was most like Brad Sellers – good outside shot, good free throw shooter, didnt rebound or play much defense except for some rough fouls that made up for my lack of talent in that area.)

So yesterday Gil told Marty he had 5 football players on his roster; now he tells Kaz he only has 2 football bodies. What happened to the other 3 between last week and today? Did they shrivel up overnight like old pumpkins? ( Reminds me I need to throw out my pumpkins from Halloween that are still sitting in the garage) And what about Rick Soto? Not a football body? What the hell was he on the football team for then??

And a new character – Primo – reminds me of my dads old friend Primo Ribeck. His name meant ‘First’. I didnt know him from Adam til my dad retired in 1982 and started playing in 2 golf leagues a week. I joined him when I could, as my job at the time was mostly evenings. The Friday group included Primo, who was a short guy who could putt better then me and gave me some good golf tips I still remember. He also had an electric cart that would ride ahead of him as he strode down the fairway with 3 clubs in his hand. He played fast for a short guy. But he always told me – “We wait for everyone else then we hurry. We’ll make them (the group behind us) wait for us.” Good advice. Rest in peace Primo. Your name lives on in Gil Thorp.

December 29, 2017

Mommy make it stop!

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:50 pm

Well I’m back from delivering mountains of Amazon parcels that may be in the trash a month from now, and what do I come upon but… Dad Soto. Here to not only knock on his sons head to make sure it isnt completely hollow, but to further delay the conclusion of THE PLOT THAT NEVER ENDS. Wernt we playing football and learning the veer a few months ago? Hey – even Jaquan Case and his SUMMER DREAM, MAKES ME FEEL FINE plot looks good against this “throw a bunch of paint on the wall and watch it dry” excuse for a fall storyline. Here’s a dad that should be happy to see his son and all he can do is knock on his noggin. How about his shaving job? Like Bryl cream, a little dollop’ll do ya.

I guess Dad heard about Ricks possible concussion and had to put his 2 cents worth in. Too bad we finally launched Garys mug off our computer screen and dad will only get a day or 2 to wrap up this script, in which we learned:

  1. Rick may have a concussion:
  2. Gary is in the Douchbag Hall of Fame
  3. Ricks mom is a dishrag
  4. Rick sings but doesnt like it
  5. The football team isnt very good without a tackle
  6. Rick does Not have a concussion
  7. The veer may work but we havent seen enough to be sure
  8. Gil took 2 months off while we dicked around with Uncle Gary meddling into everything but the players jockstraps ( he may be there now)
  9. Gil brought Dad out of hiding to make it all better

On with basketball but not before a song:

 

 

 

 

 

November 24, 2017

Well Golly Gee it worked

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — robmize2013 @ 8:28 pm

Who wants to bet Nick has a concussion to fulfill Garys prophecy? Still dont know how Gary cares about that seeing as he’s busy making videos of guys who dont wanna sing.

Thats all folks – 11 hour day at work in the dark. Too tired to put thoughts together – – have at it in the comments!

November 17, 2017

And assholes hole.

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 8:13 pm

The Gary ‘Its All About Me” tour continues with his proclamation that he’s salted the mine with Ricks singing performance at homecoming. Therefore anyone with a computer from Antarctica to Zaire (the country, not the store) will be able to watch him at a moments notice, although 99.99999 percent of them not only wont give a crap, they’ll forget about it 10 seconds after its over so they can watch something else. So Garys plan to make Rick rich and famous (in that order) stands to fail miserably.

As long as the cannon that Gary should  be shot out of doesnt also fail miserably. He will hopefully land in one of the following places:

  1. The moon. (Only time we’d see him is during a solar eclipse)
  2.  The bottom of the ocean right next to the remains of the Titanic (Raise the DouschBag!)
  3.  Gilligans Island
  4.  In a sharks mouth (Hey, a clowns mouth would do but he already has one on his face)
  5. In Marty Moons crate.

November 10, 2017

Much Adou about nothing

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, general nonsense, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 7:00 pm

We finally have the finished product of Uncle (or Grampa ) Garys efforts to sensationalize his grandson (or nephew) and his enormous singing ability. And its just a website of people singing. If you didnt know where to find it you’d never see Rick in all his glory crooning about Old Glory. Now that the whole team has seen it can we move on to other things, like a video of Gary being shot out of a cannon, removing him once and for all from this planet?  Now THAT would be viral in a heartbeat.

What are you doing online? The same thing all you losers are doing – posting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Photobucket, and Google Plus. Hey, I even saw a video of Marjie Ducey doing a striptease. Pass me the phone please!

November 3, 2017

Just when you thought it was safe….

….to miss Rick singing at a game, here it comes. But first we have to look at his foot with a pumpkin on top of it. Oh yeah, that supposed to be an icebag. Last time I was that close to a foot I walked into the tiny  pro shop at a golf course and the female employee was standing on a chair barefoot dusting the ceiling fan. I told her I almost ran into her feet, and resisted a sudden urge to tickle them. Lol. If I ever write about my golf career this story would definitely make the list. Life has those unique moments you always remember.

P2 – really, how many trainers at a high school have pictures of leg bones on their wall? This isnt a doctors office for chrissake. And the diagrams have boxes pointing to them containing 4 straight lines, which are supposed to be words but shit they dont even look close to it. And no way is anyones kneecap THAT big compared to their leg bones. Jeez. F for artwork today.

And in P3 we have Uncle Dickwad on his PC lining up Ricks singing gig in front of millions of YouTube fans. I have a feeling now its not before a game, but somewhere else. Hey, as long as its not on this strip I’m fine with it.

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