This Week in Milford

January 18, 2020

The freak hands are better.

Filed under: Bad Jokes, freak hands, lessons learned, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 4:39 pm

OMG – filling in for Teenchy today as he’s on a long day trip. Chris produces a full page stat sheet that I’m sure is available on both the internet and your local bathroom wall at a sports bar. Nothing like perusing those 4 for 9 stats while taking a leak next to some dude who’s 3 sheets to the wind, pissing for 10 minutes. . Multi-tasking at its finest. I go to Hooters every now and then and they have the sports page on the wall above the urinals, so this aint far-fetched.

Chris’ teammate points out (literally) that he’s better served dishing the rock for assists, even though the only points we saw the big guy score were after Schuring got faced on a layup attempt. Chris looks like one of those small guards who would be wise to stay out of the paint, as otherwise any big guy would shove the ball down his throat.

Then we see P3 and he’s actually TALLER then the center?? Hey Gil— your lineup needs work buddy.  Chris must have zero vertical leap if he’s blocked by someone who then allows the real Shorty to get the put-back.

Playing offense in your head?? How about playing it on the court? Methinks that’ll work better. Team of duffusses, these guys. At least they have great hands.


January 17, 2020

Stat caring its a Milford thing

Filed under: actual action, basketball — robmize2013 @ 10:51 pm

More exciting hoops action against a familiar foe – Madison. 2 plays in an otherwise yawner of a conference game finds the Larks prevailing, and another player looking at the stat sheet in the locker room. I never played high school basketball, but I guarantee that not ONE player looks at a stat sheet in the locker room after the game. Sure as Columbus discovered America. And if someone else knows how many points said player scored, well, thats another pipe dream. Nobody gives a crap. They shower, check their Snapchat sites, and mosey on home or to the bus for the ride home. Kids know who’s good and who isnt. They dont need validation from a piece of paper.

January 10, 2020

Basketball on ice

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Mimi Thorp, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — robmize2013 @ 8:38 pm

In all the years I’ve read this strip, one of my pet peeves is the players wearing their game uniforms to practice. Its happened many times, and unless the school pays extra for 2 sets of uniforms for each player (which I severely doubt), its merely a comic strip habit, because there isnt one school who also does this. You wear sweats to practice in the real world.

I love how Alexa is defense-first. Every hoops coach worth his salt will say you rest on offense and work on defense. But most players dont wanna play D; theyd rather camp out at the 3-point line and bomb away, or go to the hoop and ram it down someones throat, then beat their chest down the court mugging for the crowd as an opponent races past them to score an easy put-back.

Mimi has to encourage her to get more involved at the offensive end, apparently because she thinks she’s still 14 and clumsy. But I dont think Bambi on the ice could play defense very well either. Speaking of which, we’ve been harping on how glassy the floors look since Steve Luhm took over as janitor, and now we’re getting a reference to ice and a blue floor that resembles an ice rink.  Theyre gonna need Yac-Trac cleats to practice on that stuff, which are pullover rubber soles with cleats underneath.

Image result for yak track cleats

I actually have a pair to use at my job as a mailman in the winter, and darned if we’re not getting an ice storm tomorrow so I can give em a workout.  Cant wait til the Larks have home-ice advantage.

December 27, 2019

Gil is a dumb coach, right?

Filed under: actual action, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 10:29 pm

I have no idea why Gil is talking About Chris instead of To Chris, when he’s in the damn huddle.!  Is that the only way he responds? Like being a fly on a wall only he speaks and walks. Hey Fly- you know we’re talking about you, but you wont listen any other way, so we’ll tell another player to tell you what to do. What happened to drawing up a play on a whiteboard and addressing the WHOLE TEAM?

We just go from one shitfest to another. And whoopee, we scored a basket to take the lead. How many days does it take to play this damn game? It may take a week to get home.

I thought the last bunch was weird. This dude here; he may be a species all his own. He even shoots a layup like a jumpshot– with his eyes closed!


December 20, 2019

Mailing in this plot

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 10:19 pm

Sorry gang, but I’ve got nothing to say about this strip today; long day delivering parcels and then a birthday party for my nephew and I’m done. Maybe we can trash all of these mopes like the sign says.  Marjie’s a sight for sore eyes.

By the way – a very merry Christmas to all of you – without you none of this nonsense would be possible.

December 13, 2019

He also invented Donkey Kong

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — robmize2013 @ 11:16 pm

Chris Shuring

is a former Atari employee. Atari was as many of us who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s  know, the king of video games back in the 80’s. I spent many hours after school playing Space Invaders, PacMan, and many other video games that at the time were state of the art, but now look pre-historic.

So I guess Alexa worked for Nintendo, the main rival of Atari that featured Mike Tysons Punchout, amoung many others. Hopefully down the road we’ll see the 2 butt heads in a video game competition. But most likely theyre battling for #1 in class rank. Much more boring.


December 6, 2019

The green green grass of December

Filed under: actual action, football, hands in the air, Milford Weirdos, The Bucket, Valley Tech — robmize2013 @ 9:56 pm

Whoopee- back to football now that Chet Chit Chat has received his comeuppance, and although the fans in the stands are dressed for near-winter the grass on the gridiron shows no signs of turning brown like every other Midwest-based grass does when the warm air turns cold and the sunlight is much more minimal. Sunlight is very underrated when it comes to grass appearance. In the summer the sun is up  for about 14 – 15 hours a day, plus the light is more direct with its  path starting due east and going directly overhead at noon, providing much more intensity even though its actually farther from the earth in summer then winter. Then it majestically sets due west, taking its time and sqeeezing every bit of its daylight out before dissappearing. Even then its light lingers for a while, and sunset-watching is a fine way to spend a summer evening. By the time its completely dark out, its almost bedtime.

By winter the sun is rising in the southeast, and takes a much more angled approach in the sky as it peaks at just-above- eye level before hurrying down to set in the northwest, its extreme angle explaining why it gets dark so quick this time of year. One minute its broad daylight, then bam- dark. No twilight in December to speak of. I deliver the mail outside in a truck, and believe me, when its 4 o clock I can feel the light just fading away almost immediately and the temperature drop, and my dome light is needed almost every day now. Daylight is our friend these days, because it doesnt stay long.

So the grass feeds off the warm sun and temps, and when those resources dissapate around November,  it loses its green hue and turns brown, preparing itself to survive the cold and dark winter in a frozen ground caused by the much colder night temps; so it can grow again in spring when the warmer air re-awakens its roots. Nature is fun to watch if you pay attention.

So in Milford-land the grass stays green all year round, and the Mudlarks are still celebrating beating tomato cans like Valley Tech, and heading to the Bucket to toast Charlie and Chance for being the 2-headed monster the offense needs in the backfield. Huzzah!!

November 29, 2019

This storylines’ a real turkey

Filed under: actual action, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 9:39 pm

The story drags on with Marty basically jumping off Ballards ship, much like Clarence Boddicker and Dick Jones partnership fell apart in RoboCop after Clarence involved Jones in his criminal doings.

Hopefully Chet will only go to jail and not wind up fired like Dick Jones in the end– maybe Chief Lind will do the honors this time.

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