This Week in Milford

September 18, 2020

Clown college

Filed under: Bonfire!, football, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:26 pm

The 2 linemen have their own ideas on who should be the starting qb, and by now Gil should know. Instead of playing golf and drinking lemonade all summer he shouldve been doing 7 on 7 drills to hone everyones skills and more easily identify the better signal caller. But we know how that went.

P3 has our friend Corina and her unnamed buddy walking to the annual bonfire in broad daylight – she clearly doesnt want to go based on her dialogue, but maybe she’ll have fun. Obviously at Valley Modified they burned people at the bonfires. Hey, even Corinna doesnt like this boring storyline.

Finally, I’m going camping again next weekend (not as far this time, to Thomson Waterways near the Mississippi River) , where I’m sure we wont have gale force winds to stop us from kayaking this time. So Joan Rivers (aka Teenchy) will gladly fill in for me to continue this nonsense, and by the time I get back, the QB battle will have been solved, to the relief of all concerned..

September 11, 2020

I’m just a libero

Filed under: big arms, song parody, Volleyball — robmize2013 @ 7:55 pm

Thanks again to teechy for filling in for me again on my latest trip – this time to Munising Michigan in the Upper Peninsula as my amazing summer draws to a close. Lake Superior is magnificent to say the least, although the gale force winds Sunday afternoon and Monday morning put the kibosh on our kayaking plans. We’ll try again in 3 weeks in the Mississippi River. Teenchy is getting like Joan Rivers on the Tonight Show when Johnny Carson was close to retirement- seems like you saw her more then Johnny for a couple years. Keep up the good work buddy!

I’m in the mood for a song, so in the immortal words of the former paramedic David Lee Roth, here goes…

I’m just a libero, and everywhere I go

People know the role I’m playing

Paid for every game, stealing stuff in shame

Ooh, what they’re sayin’

There will come a day when Milford goes away

What will they say about me?

When volleyballs’ a go The setters only know

I’ll kill a Goshen as a libero.

I’m just a libero and everywhere I go

Maureen knows the hat I’m stealin.

Paid by True in cash, selling my old hash

Ooh, what they’re sayin’

But there will come a day when Mimi draws a play

What will they say about me?

When the pizza comes, I know I was just a libero

Life goes on without me, ’cause

I…………..cant find a high school

No high school

No Mod school

No high school

Moooooms so sad and lonely

Sad and lonely, sad and lonely…..

August 28, 2020

Is that how you carry a golf bag?

Filed under: ?, baseball, Just plain sad, Milford Alumni, Milford Idiots, Where is Milford? — robmize2013 @ 5:36 pm

Now we get a rehashing of the events of 3 weeks ago (at least) from our friend Corinna about the ballgame/picnic yadda yadda yadda. We really need to hear that again today only because True didnt know about it, but thats a dumb ass reason to move to a city! For free food. Yep. Otherwise the town blows, but that free food once in a lifetime sure sold me. Sheesh.

True’s outfit is interesting- a black t-shirt under a Wake Forest shirt with the sleeves cut off. Why not just wear one or the other? Its still August for chrissakes. Thats the best he can do for that big pro contract huh? And the Rays hat showing off his pro team.

What the hell are they doing with golf bags sitting around talking? If thats only an equipment bag, how much shit do you need to play catch? So many odd things in 1 strip.

Then the best part- Panel 3- True says his college (on that shirt) HAD to fly him in? To Milford? For what? To work out?? With who? Some chick going to remedial school? Or an official baseball catcher assigned to him by WF? And most of all, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT CORINNA SAID IN P2??

So many dots to connect here and I’m just dying to know what Rays official looked at the plane schedule out in Tampa and came up with Milford as True’s destination. Chicago? Nope. Nashville? Nada. Hey how about even Atlanta? Oh no. No way do they have anyone hanging around with a catchers mitt that looks like a hat. Milford it is.

Finally – is True pointing at his shirt when he refers to WF? Again? Didnt he point at his hat talking about Tampa?

2 morons. 1 non-existent storyline. Tune in tomorrow when his official catcher shows up on the 19th hole.

August 21, 2020

Wasted on the way

Filed under: boring memories, Maureen, Milford Alumni, Milford Weirdos, oversize objects — robmize2013 @ 8:23 pm

First thanks to teenchy for filling in for me during my vacation – this time to Portland Maine. Very scenic; anytime you can go near an ocean it adds to the views tenfold. Even had a shark out there; (well, 80 miles north but whats that to a shark?) I think he was looking for me in Myrtle Beach and heard I was coming back to the ocean, so he swam north. Hey- maybe he can make a cameo in this strip and swallow these characters. He’s way smarter then any of them.

I dont play frisbee very often but I normally try to catch it with one hand, or at least hold my hands CLOSER TOGETHER then this dude. He looks like he’s describing the mouth of the shark he saw in these waters.

No idea how Alexa knows Corrina so well she can describe all her qualities already..

and we’re back to when CK was 9 again. For perspective, that was only about 7 or 8 years ago. I think a summer storyline should be more cheery then this morose tale that is dragging us down like the muck on their feet slowly sinking them into the lake, until all we see is Corinna’s hat floating on the water.

Even the shark is above this dreck.

**METAPOST** Im apparently still on vacation because I copied the strip from Wednesday instead of today. I just replaced it with the correct strip but my commentary is from the Wednesday strip. Today its Maureen getting her nose in everything but the gravy boat at the buffet table. CK visits True for another practice session and True invites her to follow him to his moms house. Too hard to just call her on a cell phone huh? Hey- call Maureen and order a cheeseburger– the carrier pigeon can deliver it.

August 7, 2020

Lary Who?

Filed under: baseball, football, Gil Thorp, Milford Alumni — robmize2013 @ 8:41 pm

True details why he isnt playing football, and its pretty much like almost every other pigskin superstar failure– always hurt. But you can get pneumonia playing tiddly winks, True.

Then we really get into the wild and crazy world of comics– oh I’ll just try baseball one day. Yes we know he has a great (right) arm, but the farther you get in the baseball chain, the less you can just depend on natural ability because the better players at higher levels can hit a fastball no matter how hard its thrown.

How long did he go to college and get all these injuries, then still have time, one spring, to not only Start playing baseball, but get good enough to play college ball and get drafted? I mean, dont you only get 4 years of eligibility?

And how many people point at their Cap when saying they tried baseball? As if the listener didnt connect wearing a Rays hat with being a big league ball player? Oh wait, I know a thousand dopes walking around right this minute with baseball caps on who couldnt play dead if they were escorted onto a diamond by Willie Mays himself. So why the hell is he pointing at his cap?? Really looks cool huh?

Oh yeah, and Lary Sorenson the announcer, who played dreadfully for the Cubs in the 80’s….. https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/sorenla01.shtml

……and who True wouldnt know from Adam since he retired 32 years ago, helped him become who he is, which is … nobody at the moment. Boy, you get taught by a major league mope like Lary Sorenson, you deserve to have a GIRL catching for you to demonstrate your limited baseball prowess to a guy who’s on summer vacation teaching golf to kids.

The only thing I have in common with Lary Sorenson is… we both have 1 R in our first names. He was as forgettable as this TV show:

July 31, 2020

Come On Maureen

 
 
 
 
 
Poor old Phoebe K
Sounded sad she lost her Alexa
But she found Corinna Karenna
Their waitress knew
All about Hiawatha
True is grown  (so grown)
So grown (so grown up)

Now the girls can be so clever

Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ay

And there’s a huge mitt on the table
 
 
Come on, Maureen, oh I swear (what she means)
At this moment, you know everything
You need more tips, that mitt I confess
Is so dirty
Ah, come on, Maureen
 
Come on, Maureen.
 
 
 
The Mayor ’round here
Was beaten down, eyes sunk in Val Mod place
They’re resigned to what their fate is
But not  (no, never), no, not us (no, never)
Phoebe’s far too young and clever
(Remember)
Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye aye
And you’ll  dance with True  forever…
 
 
Come on, Maureen, oh, I swear (what he means)
Ah, come on let’s tell him everything
Rina’s a catch, Maureen (tell him yes)
Ah, come on let’s, ah, come on, Maureen
Milfords a mess, Maureen (nothing less)
Ah, come on, fess
Ah come on Maureen…
 
 
Come on, Maureen, too rye aye
Come on, Maureen, too rye aye
Now you’re full grown
Now you have shown
Oh, Maureen
Said, come on, Maureen
That mitt it is  real and I know
How you feel
Now True must say more than ever
Things ’round here have changed
I say, too ra loo ra, too raloo rye aye
Come on, Maureen
Oh, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
You in that dress, True’s thoughts are a mess
Table’s dirty
Ah, come on, Maureen
 
 
Oh, come on, Maureen
Oh, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, he needs every lead
Who you address, Hiawatha is next
Theyre all  dirty
Come on, Maureen
Come on, Maureen
 
 

 
 
 
 

July 17, 2020

Girls causing trouble

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 9:52 pm

 

July 11, 2020

Do you feel like I do??

Filed under: general nonsense, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, lessons learned — robmize2013 @ 4:47 pm

Yes I’m posting almost a day late, but my main problem was I couldnt copy or find the strip anywhere for some reason. Now it works, so I’ll do a quick post.

So in the end as always, all is forgiven. Gil tells the dopes at State about the farce that was the head to head matchup of the century, which turned into a picnic. And THAT was what sealed the deal for the Mayor to get into this joint they call a college?? Sheesh.

Time for a song:\

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