This Week in Milford

April 3, 2020

He’s the mayor

Famous mayors:

  1. Harry Caray- the mayor of Rush Street
  2. Hank Sauer – the Mayor of Wrigley Field
  3. Augustus Maywho – the mayor of Whoville
  4. Ed Koch – mayor of New York City
  5. Richard J Daley – mayor of Chicago
  6. This dude

And all the other mayors were surely less of a douchbag then this guy is gonna turn out to be. Even the mayors in this strip blow.

Floor design is weird in P1. Who has floor patterns like that?

P2 – what the hell kind of question is that? Its not even a sweater. I have a similar shirt; its NOT a sweater.

I hate this guy already.


March 27, 2020

Plus I save 13K a year…

Filed under: huge earrings, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 8:33 pm

Nothing like a good old fashioned house party to close out the basketball season. In fact its not a bad idea for any team to do this. When I coached youth baseball we had a  party at my assistants house shortly after we won the league title in ’98. Of course it was more like a victory party too but the thought was – lets get together one last time before we head our separate ways for the summer. I had some time to chat with parents I had mostly only spoken to on the phone all season, and it was a nice way to end the season.

And hey, one more chance to see Divot Head before he re-applies for kindergarten.

We find out that Chris was going to .. Tufts before he changed his mind and opted for Wisconsin.  And since Alexa is gonna be a Hoosier, (guess she couldnt get a basketball scholarship with her low scoring totals) its only fitting that this plot ends with them still being rivals.

I suppose for a student of Chris’ stature, Tufts would be  suitable for him. Not quite Ivy league, but still very small and private, its cost after aid is $33,000 a year, compared to Wisconsin “only’ costing $20,000.  Maybe he figured he not only will be more on the map if he plays sports, he’ll have more dough in case he doesnt get drafted by the pros.

And thats the smartest audible we’ve seen since Gil introduced the veer.


He walked into Milford getting A’s and B’s

Aint no doubt about it was Gil he aimed to please.

He battled Alexa long before he said

Goodbye to his old friend Divot Head.











March 20, 2020

Oh let it go already!

Filed under: Brown Hair, freak hands, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos, Pointy Fingers — robmize2013 @ 7:18 pm

First of all:   Yes I had to go to work today. I’m essential, a mailman. I get permission to leave my house, which is somewhat of a relief given what I hear about people going stir-crazy in their homes and binge-watching every show ever produced. Hey, I get fresh air and (mild) exercise, and listen to talk shows on the radio while Im driving around outside. I get home, walk my dog, rest and watch a little tv, then make dinner and kick back and enjoy my evening.   I really hope by mid-April we’ll have a handle on this thing, because so many lives have been affected. I miss seeing my friends, but I’m sure we’ll be very happy to see each other when this is over. Its all I can do. I wash my hands when I can and try to stay as clean as possible, which is just about impossible while I’m working, but it is what it is. And I never knew I’d be giving up church for Lent.

So these 2 clowns are still re-hashing what happened 3 years ago, and Divot Head is refusing an apology that Chris doesnt even have to make. I really think Chris wasnt aware of it at that moment. You walk by a lot of stuff in a day, and if you stopped and policed every one of them you’d never get anywhere with what You had to do. I think if it was that obvious Chris woulda done something, but Divot should just take his word for it, and MOVE ON. We can add Divot Head to the list of characters to be shot out of a cannon after theyre done entertaining us.

P3 has what looks like Alexa’s guidance counselor reviewing her academic record.  I dont know why this is that necessary in the strip; why we care about her post-Milford life is dubious. And the dialogue is nonsensical. If Alexa already triple-checked this info,  why does Brown Hair have to top that? Who checked first? Sounds like they both did, but Alexa’s balloon should be a question not a statement.

I also cant get over the way that chair is shaped. How BH is sitting in it is beyond me. If its a swivel chair it should be visible behind both sides of her. Comments on this are welcome.

Stay healthy my friends! We’re all in the same boat.


March 13, 2020

Gils got Corona

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:29 pm

His name was Gildo

He was a teacher.

But that was 30 years ago, when they used to make some dough

Now he’s a statue

No need for coachin.

He pretends to give a care

But who knows whats in his hair

He works from 8 to 5

Drinking coffee half-blind.

Then he went to see his doctor

And he found out why



The Corona

Corona virus (the virus)

Has struck him worse than larynghitis

And the ‘Rona’s

At Gils cabana.

Music and passion will be out of fashion

At Cantina.

The coffee cups fell…

Over the sinkwell…


His name was Kaz-man

He wore a diamond

Gil hired him as his right- hand man

He met Kelly on demand

They hit a disco

And did the cha – cha

But some old dude went way too far

Kaz sailed across the bar

And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two

There was blood and open wounds

But just who got the flu??


Gil got ‘Rona

At the cabana.

It may be the end of the draaama.

Here at the high school

Where there’s a band of

Cheaters and writers and Marty Moon sighters

And a Duuucey…

Writing the lineups..

Out in the land of….

Gil’dos cabana.












March 6, 2020

Think you’ll ever take your vest off?

Filed under: freak hands, hands in the air — robmize2013 @ 11:36 pm

Like 2 mighty ships passing in the night, the heavyweights of Milford academia run into each other in the library. I sense a truce developing between them, as if Alexa knows Chris wouldnt cheat given the opportunity just like she turned down Divot Head. They both know how hard it is to keep up such a lofty ranking and the only true way to settle who’s number 1 is to do it fairly.

Thats what I hope.

Of course the comic strip reality is she thinks he is using the old test sheet, and if he beats her out, will accuse him of cheating. But the evidence is crumpled up in a garbage can. Who knows how this will turn out; the problem for Chris is if Divot Head is questioned he will say he gave Chris the test. He didnt see Chris throw it away.

P3 can be spun different ways too. Is Chris saying the workload cant get any worse, or that this time of life for these 2 will never be exceeded? When they sit on top of the class looking down on the other 400 or so students, if only on a numerical list in cyberspace? Alexa sounds like she is reading his mind as to the meaning of his vague question.

Gee, if high school is the highlight of ones life, thats a pretty sad life, no matter how well one did.  I finished 250th out of 330, in a very smart class by the way, (my college career was also very forgettable academically) and the rest of my life has largely been way more successful then those 4 years, which at this point are a blip on the radar. I figure financially I’m doing better then half of the kids I finished behind. Thats a good goal to shoot for for those C students who never once make the honor roll, and if I ever give a speech at one of these things (seriously doubt it but you never know) that would be the gist of it.

February 29, 2020

Fast Forward to a cheat

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:26 am

Time to roll through time like a 78 rpm record. Alexa in P1 is …playing .. defense.. like before. Where’s Phi Slamma Alexa?

P2 has the worst uniform design I’ve ever seen; after all these years of Milford kicking Goshens ass I’d expect them to have more original threads. That S looks like a lower case g.

And we flash to P3, where the man with a black grass divot on his head ( I’ve taken many divots just like that design on damp golf courses) has some papers for our friend Chris . I know what they are but I’ll save those details for teenchy.

HINT: see video below.


February 21, 2020

Pounding through this plot

Filed under: actual action, basketball, freak hands — robmize2013 @ 11:04 pm

We finally arrive at gametime for the new Alexa; the Frankenstein that Phoebe created. I dont know how Alexa playing more forcefully helps Phoebe’s game at all or how its in her best interests. Ultimately each player is better served to maximize their potential at that level and its really up to the coach to combine each players individual skills into a cohesive unit, both offensively and defensively. When these 2 go off to college and later into the real world, they’d better be able to manage  their own lives because odds are nobody will be there to tell them how to run through people.

Basically my point is Phoebe should worry about her own development as a player because thats all she will have in the end. If she really only cares about Alexa’s development, then quit the team and be a coach.

Mimi needs to be telling Alexa what Phoebe is saying, however as a coach she also needs to be sensitive to Alexa’s personal goals as a person. If A doesnt have it in her to be an offensive force, then no browbeating by anyone will achieve the desired results.

I have a comparison — in 1984 Jim Frey took over the Cubs and worked with Ryne Sandberg on his swing. He told Ryno- you’re a big strong guy, you can turn on balls and hit them out of the park, instead of merely making contact and hitting singles to the opposite field, as Ryne was accustomed to in his career so far. The result was an MVP season for Sandberg as he became a power-hitting catalyst for a division winner that was a game away from the World Series a season after winning only 71 games. I remember it well, and it was an individual improvement unlike any I’ve ever seen. Of course Sandberg wound up in Cooperstown, and Jim Freys coaching played an invaluable role in maximizing his talent.

In the meantime Young Phoebe Frankenstein better hope that her monster doesnt kill anyone on Jefferson.

February 14, 2020

This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy…

Well we were going along just swimmingly for so long, then the truck went into the ditch. Chris’s hairbrained idea only opens up a new can of worms for Alexa, and why a level-headed girl like Phoebe even agrees to pass on this idea to her bestie instead of telling Chris to hit the road, is beyond me.

I kinda see his point. Like a diet– you have to not only change your eating habits, you must also change your lifestyle, otherwise the diet will not have a long shelf life and you’ll be back to your old ways in no time. It takes a while for habits to change.

He figures if Alexa acts like the boss everywhere, she’ll get used to it so much that it’ll translate to more forceful play on the court. I get that.

But his logic is just .. weird. Who the hell cares if she’s a half step in front of someone. SO IS EVERYONE ELSE!!! You got 500 students or so walking the halls between classes; no way is everyone on the same pace. She’ll quickly figure out it doesnt work, like a bad experiment. Then she’ll be back to her moody ways, and plus, she may inadvertantly knock over someones books or shove someone in the back, and the hallways of a school require a lot of courtesy in that regard.  Rudeness doesnt fly anywhere, no matter how much better that makes her on the court.

And how is a height advantage of any use in the hallways, save for seeing above some other heads moving to and from class?? My long legs got me moving faster when I needed to, not my tall body.

Hey Chris , as Clark Griswold  would say, you’re in deep.



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