This Week in Milford

October 19, 2018

When is anything on time in Milford?

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — robmize2013 @ 6:13 pm

I’m late.

I’m late.

A very important date.

No time to say hello goodbye I’m late I’m late I’m late.

I remember that little ditty from years ago and dont remember what it was connected to, but it stuck with me.  And we now have yet another story within the story to deal with. I guess the punter problem has been solved for now. That was last week. This week its Gil playing guidance counselor along with coach.

Why would Gil call Tiki in to discuss this matter? Isnt that for the people in the main office who deal with that stuff? My high school had rules that stated – frequent or chronic tardiness may be cause for suspension if not improved after a set amount of days since the student was notified by the office. In other words, the damn football coach isnt in charge of that at all! Here Gil worrys about his punter day and night for a month, and now he’s worried about a kid being late. For school, not practice or games. Now we’re gonna have 2 weeks of this being repeated ad nauseum until its either resolved or Tiki loses his place on the team.

When I was a senior I had study hall my last period (some seniors took another class after that but a lot of us were done early. Privilege of being a senior- shorter days.) Well, the wrestling coach was the ‘teacher’ in that study hall, and believe me, he was very lax about people getting there on time. The bell would ring, and half the desks would still be empty. I was always there early due to my previous class being close by, so a short walk etc. So I would watch people slowly stroll in like cattle grazing in a field, chatting with whoever they walked in with until by about 10 minutes after the period began everyone was there. Very loose discipline indeed. And sometimes we wouldnt even sit in our assigned seats. He hardly noticed any of this. It was like a glorified social hour, not really conducive to studying. Eventually we would quiet down and get some real studying in, or do some homework. But it was easily the most undisciplined class I ever took. I was also late a lot to English, but that was for 2 reasons; it was 2 1/2 halls from my locker which was way over near the gym on the other side of the school, and I would chat with my girl friend whose locker was next to mine, and walk with her to her class which was way closer to our locker so she had a shorter walk and more spare time as it was, and I would squeeze in as much time with her as possible before sprinting to my class a good 30 seconds after the bell rang, but I wasnt alone; a bunch of us were always late for that one too, and the teacher was also fairly ok with it as long as we got going right away, since it was a real class (unlike study hall).

Anyway — back to the strip– P3 is another possible side story with Tikis sister– who in high school gives a CRAP about a 5th grader? Nice clean floors however..

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October 6, 2018

Milford is up Shit Creek

Filed under: actual action, football, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots — robmize2013 @ 3:43 pm

First of all – sorry for my delinquincy yesterday– combination of busy day and lack of motivation to do this storyline.. but I’m back today so here goes.

So here’s what we have so far:

  1. Tiki Jansen transfered from another school, played cornerback the first game, and is now the new safety, replacing ..?
  2. Sam Finn is the best punter but they cant find another long snapper so he’s it.
  3. Freddy Malouf was the punter the first game and is out, replaced by #4.
  4.  Mike Filion, who is also the starting QB and will give punting a try.
  5.  Joe Bolek, former competent punter somewhere who doesnt want to play but may try.

And we’re only in Week 2!!

So we may possibly have 3 different guys punt in 3 games, if Fillion is bad and Bolek suits up next week. And Punter # 4 would be Finn in Week 4; at this rate the game would be in November.

Anyone else roaming the hallways they can ask? Good God almighty. Its so laughable it makes me cry. They might as well put a huge sign on the wall:

WANTED: PUNTER> NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. APPLY ANYWHERE OUTSIDE A CLASSROOM. DEADLINE: CHRISMAS.

Holy crap.

All this time Finn is the guy to do it but the dildos cant find another long snapper! Jesus, have the damn regular center snap during practice and you’re good to go. How much time are we gonna spend on this assinine situation? What the hell are they doing during practice? We already broached the idea of a soccer player helping out but its fallen on deaf ears. 3 morons sit in front of a computer and marvel at the new ‘software’ but they dont have a damn brain between them!

I’m figuring the final answer is, yep, Tiki Jansen. But god the taffy pull to get to it. 5 punters in 1 season! And they have so many other issues besides this one. If theyre anywhere near a solid team, the punter wouldnt matter much anyway.

To the strip: Love how Jansen the new safety is playing 50 yards behind everyone else. I guess Gil said defend the goal line no matter where everyone else is. Doh.

Another idea if Fillion is half decent at punting is trying a quick kick from the regular formation once in a while when theyre in 3rd and very long. But no way do they think of that one. It actually works most of the time because nobodys back that far on defense for the kick if theyre playing a normal dime.

I’m going out on a limb and saying Milford will have more punters then victories this year. Any takers?

 

 

 

September 28, 2018

Yeah I’ve seen ‘Dumb and Dumber’ too.

Every time you think you’ve seen it all in this strip, you get the next storyline and its even more hare-brained then the last one. After having tryouts, practices, summer camps, 7-on-7 drills, cuts, final rosters made, and games played, we have Kaz searching the hallways for a PUNTER.

I believe my high school team has played 5 games, and is playing game 6 tonight. Of course Milford is a month behind, but now is a fine time to be looking for a damn punter. Where the hell was this conversation when Gil said they had 2 problems and 1 solution? Oh why not wait til you let 2 games go down the tubes, then instead of finding a punter yourself, ask one of the kids who can kick? I mean, really.

Who knows what movie Joe is talking about, but my guess is Dumb and Dumber. Describes the Milford coaching staff to a T. Kaz is the latter.

September 21, 2018

No kicker? No problem!

Filed under: actual action, anatomically implausible, freak hands, hands in the air, Oakwood — robmize2013 @ 3:24 pm

Every time we start a new storyline  we have high hopes and invariably they are dashed a few days later. Its now sinking in that we’re gonna have to deal with this kicker situation until Christmas. The Mudlarks take 3 months to figure out what everyone else takes a day or 2 to.

P1– I had said before that it didnt matter who recovered the muff– it was 4th down, so either way Oakwood had the ball.

How on earth is #73 on Milford laying FACE-UP with his left arm on his stomach?? How do you dive backwards when the ballcarrier is coming at you? The Milford helmet to his right is in a position that the players whole body must be underneath #73. So he was lined up to #73’s Right, and dove Underneath him –trying to stop the blue ballcarrier to the right. And we have white legs facing the same direction as the Oakwood offensive line! How the hell did they get there?? Plus some other white body parts behind and to the right of White Legs. A miserable panel as a whole. Nothing makes sense. And the ref is standing in the pile. How he sees the goal line is beyond me. He’ll need new feet after this play, since his original feet are now in pieces from 8 bodies laying on him.

P2– nice that Oakwoods D-line has such a huge gap between the nose tackle and DT. I would drive a truck through that line, but Gil says throw the ball. Good thing Oakwood doesnt bother to cover the TE– usually a linebacker will stay with him; but P3 isnt big enough for 2 players.

September 14, 2018

Oh buddy you’ve got more then 2 problems

Panel 1 features 2 guys talking to each other while not looking at each other. And the paint scheme didnt go too well, so why the HELL are we wasting panel space on it?? 10 minutes of watching kids paint. Really scintilating television. I’m signing up for the Milford Channel asap. Then the cops show up. Boy thats a surprise. Blocking off a street for say, a block party, requires written approval from your local authorities. You cant just take a horse and stick it in the middle of a street. Hey, maybe I’ll block off Michigan Avenue for a protest tomorrow. How you think that’ll go? 10 minutes? Maybe 5.

Aaand back at football, the boys are stretching while Big Yellow Hair Guy finishes Gils sentence. They do that a lot in this strip. One person says something and the other one finishes the thought. How often does that happen in real life? My guess is –no kicker, and no punter, and the solution is– use a lineman to do both. They used to do that all the time in the pros. Paul Hornung was a punter as well as a halfback. Who was Joe Recichar? He held the NFL record for the longest field goal made, at 58 yards, until Tom Dempsey broke it with a 63-yarder. Recichar was a lineman for the Colts. (Dempseys record has since been broken) I once answered a trivia contest in the local newspaper regarding that fact, and had my name in the paper. Cool.

 

September 7, 2018

Take any Tiki!!

Filed under: Coach Kaz, freak hands, Gil Thorp, hands in the air, Pissy faced Marty — robmize2013 @ 7:43 pm

Apologies to the late Vincent Price for the title of todays post– in the Brady Bunch episode where they went to Hawaii and the boys run into him playing a professor who then ties them to the tikis in his cave; when he lets them loose and then tells them to return to them they randomly pick one and he then yells  “Take any tiki!”

Well there is no human named Tiki Jansen on Google but apparently he’s the potential starting QB for the Larks this year. So he aint any Tiki thats for sure. Marty takes the low road in P1, suggesting that if they dont have an all-star at the position, they are screwed. Maybe, but even if they arent, Gil will find a way to make it so, either by changing the offense mid-season or by under-coaching the rest of the unit so they cant function as one.

P2- is Gil comparing Tiki to a lottery ticket? Hmmm.. methinks he’s suggesting he knows damn well he got lucky in some way and its not one iota from his good coaching.

P3– Gil, what did cross your mind? Besides spiked lemonade and made-up golf tourneys?

August 24, 2018

Oh let it go already!

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, freak hands, Gil Thorp, lessons learned, Pissy faced Mimi — robmize2013 @ 7:29 pm

Under pressure? Hey Gil, this is a qualifier for the Valley Juniors, whatever that is. So much pressure that they could’ve put a 1 down on every par 3 and no one wouldve blinked an eye. Hey, dont know why the cheaters didnt try that – they may have walked away with a special hole-in-one trophy.

I guess Gils message here is – its better to try and fail then to not try at all. An honorable stead indeed, but out of his mouth it sounds wishy-washy.

And then there’s Mimi in P3. How do you just ADD players who didnt qualify? There’s only so many spots, tee times, and groups in a tourney. Everyone else is SOL. And how dumb would it look now to just add them? Then the whole point of the qualifier is negated. Like letting every team in the college basketball tournament. What the hell is the regular season for if everyone makes the playoffs anyway??

And doing that would also negate Gils life lesson. And we dont want that to happen.

 

 

August 23, 2018

Bench Warmers

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, golf, lessons learned, Pissy faced Gil, Pointy Fingers — robmize2013 @ 7:38 am

You’re the adult — and who are you Gil? A child? Guess we had you pegged wrong all these years.. Hey Gil– again.. the whole reason this all happened is because you (and your kids) didnt see to it that this qualifier was properly supervised to begin with. And now you’re stuck with the results that were obviously tainted, but they will stand because nobody has any real proof that anything happenned . Except us the readers.

Looks like they Milford team is out of gas– Gil goes back to the boys sitting on a bench that I’ve NEVER seen on a golf course. Looks like its right in the middle of a fairway too.

More later — heading to the beach.

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