This Week in Milford

November 17, 2017

And assholes hole.

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 8:13 pm

The Gary ‘Its All About Me” tour continues with his proclamation that he’s salted the mine with Ricks singing performance at homecoming. Therefore anyone with a computer from Antarctica to Zaire (the country, not the store) will be able to watch him at a moments notice, although 99.99999 percent of them not only wont give a crap, they’ll forget about it 10 seconds after its over so they can watch something else. So Garys plan to make Rick rich and famous (in that order) stands to fail miserably.

As long as the cannon that Gary should  be shot out of doesnt also fail miserably. He will hopefully land in one of the following places:

  1. The moon. (Only time we’d see him is during a solar eclipse)
  2.  The bottom of the ocean right next to the remains of the Titanic (Raise the DouschBag!)
  3.  Gilligans Island
  4.  In a sharks mouth (Hey, a clowns mouth would do but he already has one on his face)
  5. In Marty Moons crate.
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November 10, 2017

Much Adou about nothing

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, general nonsense, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 7:00 pm

We finally have the finished product of Uncle (or Grampa ) Garys efforts to sensationalize his grandson (or nephew) and his enormous singing ability. And its just a website of people singing. If you didnt know where to find it you’d never see Rick in all his glory crooning about Old Glory. Now that the whole team has seen it can we move on to other things, like a video of Gary being shot out of a cannon, removing him once and for all from this planet?  Now THAT would be viral in a heartbeat.

What are you doing online? The same thing all you losers are doing – posting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Photobucket, and Google Plus. Hey, I even saw a video of Marjie Ducey doing a striptease. Pass me the phone please!

November 3, 2017

Just when you thought it was safe….

….to miss Rick singing at a game, here it comes. But first we have to look at his foot with a pumpkin on top of it. Oh yeah, that supposed to be an icebag. Last time I was that close to a foot I walked into the tiny  pro shop at a golf course and the female employee was standing on a chair barefoot dusting the ceiling fan. I told her I almost ran into her feet, and resisted a sudden urge to tickle them. Lol. If I ever write about my golf career this story would definitely make the list. Life has those unique moments you always remember.

P2 – really, how many trainers at a high school have pictures of leg bones on their wall? This isnt a doctors office for chrissake. And the diagrams have boxes pointing to them containing 4 straight lines, which are supposed to be words but shit they dont even look close to it. And no way is anyones kneecap THAT big compared to their leg bones. Jeez. F for artwork today.

And in P3 we have Uncle Dickwad on his PC lining up Ricks singing gig in front of millions of YouTube fans. I have a feeling now its not before a game, but somewhere else. Hey, as long as its not on this strip I’m fine with it.

October 27, 2017

The .. whaaaaat???

So now that Gil has all these plans to overhaul the offense and put in the veer, which I’m sure requires him to be on the job almost 24/7, he suddenly worries about … Rick singing the national anthem before the game??

WTF? why the hell does Gil give a flying fuck who sings the national anthem before the game?? He’s got plays to teach, Players to teach them to, practices to run, and now he gets emails about this distraction? Every week its something else thats more hair-brained then the last week. Its as if they cant get enough to do before they have to worry about something else thats 10 times as trivial. They take 2 months to play 2 games then decide they need a new offense after the defense gets its doors blown off. Now its this crap.

And all because Rick sang a song at the cafeteria last month! That he didnt want to sing anyway. Now he’s turned into Wayne Messmer overnight. (He’s an anthem singer in my hometown)

P3 – Dr. Pearl wrote the note; and she sounds like a fan, but again, doesnt she have better things to do? I already ranted in my metapost last Monday  (hope y’all had time to read it, I had too many thoughts to just comment)  about them farting away the summer on Jaquan Cases football dreams instead of delving into this sexy new offense that’ll debut just in time for snowflakes on the ground.

Well, after saying all that, I’ve decided who should really sing the anthem at the next game. Its someone they truly deserve, and couldnt be more fitting for the meatheads in charge of this school:……………

Roseanne Barr.

October 13, 2017

Trust me, you’re full of c**p

When I was in high school we had a thing called Career Day where various reps from careers ranging from artist to zookeeper would come in and we would gravitate toward the field(s) of our interest and hopefully get a taste of the field before we decided to either pursue it as a major in college or as a future job etc. I cant recall who I visited but rest assured it was nothing of the sort of work I wound up doing, which I’m sure is the case for most people.

Some years later in my school newsletter I got as an alumni they had a blurb about the upcoming Career Day and a short list of which fields they needed to fill for the event. On the list:  Singer. My eyes froze.

Really!  Someone in a high school that was 90% college prep was gonna take all that algebra, world history, calculus, and physics education he/she was getting and turn it into a career that is mostly self-employed and mainly requires long hair, tattoos, and drugs as well as late-night gigs with a band and no guarantees of anything financially secure plus you need to hire (and pay) an agent to promote your sound and schedule gigs. Its a hard and mostly difficult life and all but the very few who actually make a profit are soon left with nothing but debts and sore throats. Plus some cool tats. But I digress. I was imagining someone from Twisted Sister (like Dee Snyder) coming to the school and everyone dropping who they were visiting to see him. Too funny.

The strip basically is about Garys pipe dream that Katie should be a singer; I thought Rick was the one singing. And who’s Connie?? Who’s he pointing at in P3? Somebodys mom? Whos mom?? When are they gonna play another game? Whens the bonfire? What does Millard West high school have to do with any of this??

And how  the fuck does being in LA for 20 years qualify you to determine that a dude singing 1 song in a high school cafeteria should be a professional singer??

 

October 6, 2017

Cloudy eyes

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 8:59 pm

Have at it boys – had a long day and watched the Cubs knock off the Nats who only know one way to play in the postseason-  not well.

September 29, 2017

Uh Gil, you’re already at home

Filed under: actual action, football, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:01 pm

Gil gives an impassioned speech intended to fire up the line so they can block Oakwoods defense and run the ball down their throats for the win. If only it was that simple.

If they score they still have to play defense, which may require another short pep talk. Also, what took so long for Gil to figure out how to win this game? Where was all this coaching before?
And being tougher then the guy across from you means dipshit if you dont have strength and technique.

Panel 3 has one play, a gain of seven yards. Good start, but how many more panels do we need for this game to end? October is Sunday. My area teams are in Week 6 tonight. One stinkin game all of September, mostly because we were still dickin around with Chief Jaquan Case and his merry men and woman.

September 22, 2017

The only tight end I care about is Marjies

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, Marjie Ducey, premature baldness — robmize2013 @ 6:03 pm

Well look who’s back – – its Marjie Ducey, who we havent seen since probably last football season. I dont think they played enough baseball to warrant her presence, and I dont feel like combing through the archives to find her talking hoops either. (Need our trusty Thorpian researcher to do that job. Thanks)

How the hell does any football team have so many former tight ends at wide receiver, and no former linebackers? ( Calling Kevin Pelwicki) If thats the case, who’s playing tight end now? Oh yeah, maybe Kevin. And it really makes sense to have your fastest player at QB instead of WR or RB. Can tell by the way Marjie looks at Gil that she thinks he’s full of crap too.

I dont give a crap about Panel 1 by the way;  whenever that storyline wants to blow itself up is fine with me. The Glee Club and football havent been connected since the Brady Bunch with Peter Brady.

One more thing– how does Marjie know whos playing quarterback before Gil tells her? She’s done this before; instead of Gil telling her she tells him about someone. Kind of reverse psychology.

Love her earrings by the way. Marjie we’ve missed you…

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