This Week in Milford

June 22, 2018

Yeah Del, you’d still be here..

Filed under: Milford Idiots, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 8:00 pm

Cant believe theyre making a summer plot out of a story that we thought was over 2 years ago


As we revisit the horrific events of June 7 2016, we’re reminded that the impact Del made didnt kill Boo Radley, it was the 2nd collision by the other driver that proved to be fatal. We never heard who this driver was, his/her name, and where he /she is as far as prison location or legal charges. But Del was more involved in the comic strip, so he’s stuck in jail 2 years later for what in hindsight is an accident that only involved him marginally. Clearly the 2nd driver killed Boo, and there’s no way Del should still be in the clink for this. Suspend his license, make him go to driver school, and pass a probation time of around 6- 10 months before he can re-apply for his license. I dont know the laws specifically, but that sounds about right. And meanwhile the real ‘killer’ is somewhere else and if Dafne was a real journalist it would be THIS person she should be interviewing in jail, because theyre the ones that need to be in jail. And that story would Definitely be appropriate for the school paper as there are still plenty of students there who either knew Boo or were attending the school when the accident happened. If Dafne’s slant is that Del is in jail unfairly, fine, but bacause he’s a dad of one of the students it really shouldnt be in the school paper unless the entire Bader family approved of it.

But I guess anything that keeps us from seeing Pelwecki and his pursuit of college way later then he should’ve started, is a better alternative.

P2 – Do Not …. what? Chime in with your ideas. I say ..Enter. I still dont know what DOC means.



June 15, 2018

Granville?? U gotta be jokin.

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — robmize2013 @ 5:39 pm

Yeah this is a first – – kids still going to school the day after Flag Day, also known as Donald Trumps birthday.

At least she’s wearing short sleeves to class. She’ll need a longer number when she gets to prison. Guess thats our summer storyline.. Jaquan Case can relax. Of course everyone else can do this on their summer vacation, but here at Milford we have no such luxuries. Summer lasts as long as a roll in the hay in this precinct.

And our man Pelwecki gets Paged.. to tell him he got a letter?? To where?? What happened to the US Postal Service?? As an employee for 30 years there, I’m a bit ashamed.

Granville U. does not exist. Denison University does.

Denison is located in Granville Ohio. So thats who’s interested in this mope? The acceptance rate for the class of 2022 was 34%, so Kevin is already a favorite to be, as Keith Hernandez said in the Bud Lite commercial – REJECTED! But I guess you gotta start somewhere. But I dont think Denison will be on my TV in the College World Series anytime soon, and neither will KP. His initials refer to what he is truly qualified for – Kitchen Police. My dad told me that one from his Army days. By the way, Happy Fathers Day,  Dad, in heaven. And all the dads too!

June 8, 2018

Short of a lot of things

Filed under: Pissy Faced Barry Bader — robmize2013 @ 7:17 pm

First of all a confession – I’m 6-3. I thought for years I was 6’4″, and even my drivers license says that, but the reality is I’m a good inch inch and a half shorter then I say I am. But its true – being tall makes things easier. Some of you know I’m a mailman by trade, and believe me, my long arms make for less wear and tear on my back and neck; less reaching for all those boxes over all these years has been one reason my body has held up so well while many others working less years have broke down and needed rotator cuff surgery, back surgery, etc.

Dont know what bull Barry is offering in P2 – give Barry 4 inches and nobody is talking about Pelwecki and his grand homers? My ass. Well, only Pelwecki talks about himself so who’s to say on this team in this town?

At the Coffee Cantina, Dafne reviews her interview with a teammate. Hey girls, schools been out for 2 weeks. What issue of the school paper is this gonna appear in? How about next September for the big opening issue? By now everyones going through the motions academically. No pun intended, but where’s your shorts girls? :)


June 1, 2018

I vote to cancel “Pelwecki”

Filed under: baseball, Gil Thorp, lame jokes, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 4:11 pm

Really? On June 1st, we have high school kids sitting around talking about the future of some dude who’s overstayed his welcome longer then Roseanne was on the air.

Does the balding guy really hit Kevin in the head with the check? Wish I could read some of it. A doctor couldnt write worse.

Again, its June 1st, and Kevin is THINKING about getting a scholarship, to what? AND GIL STILL THINKS ITS TOO EARLY!!! Yaaash. Its the colleges decision to AWARD a scholorship to Academically qualified students, emphasis on Academically. How on earth does this mope with a mop think just because he knows all that shit about launch angles all of a sudden he’s on his way to Arizona State and the College World Series for free?? How’s he doing in class? Who knows? I’m sure even he hasnt looked at a book since March, so busy rubbing his magic bat is he. I guess we’re stuck with this crap till August, because it’ll take that long to finish the season and Maybe, Maybe, graduate before Labor Day.

But we dont have to worry about Roseanne. As I mentioned before, her new show got cancelled, and I couldnt care less. I havent given a rats ass about her since that night in San Diego when she put on a singing performance for the ages. I didnt watch the first version of the show either; John Goodman was best known to me as The Babe in the worst movie ever made, and the daughter (who had the idea for the show revival) was kinda cute with her ripped jeans, but otherwise the show was non- existent in my world. But since she’s got more free time, how about singing the anthem at a Mudlarks game this summer? Couldnt be any worse then these storylines. A one, a two, a three….


May 28, 2018

You’re a difference maker all right…

Filed under: actual action, Gil Thorp, lame jokes, Pissy Faced Barry Bader, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 10:22 am

What did I say about all the pitches being straight as a string? I used to visit a place where they had pitching machines and the balls wern’t this straight. There was a shed behind one of the cages and I hit one ball so hard it went through the protective net behind the cage and bounced off the roof of the shed. I felt like I hit the batting cage jackpot. Try that at home folks!

It was 97 out here yesterday, and Bader is sporting long sleeves. Must be afraid of mosquitos or skin cancer, one or the other. What a royal pain in the ass to have in your dugout. I’ll take the mosquitos over this mope.

Feel free to add on-  I’m heading to my local pool for a swim. Happy holiday!

May 25, 2018

Bader could play for Tilden…

Filed under: actual action, baseball, Gil Thorp, Pissy Faced Barry Bader, Recycled art — robmize2013 @ 5:06 pm


Well here it is Memorial Day weekend, and graduations are going on this weekend plus a co-worker has her sons on Tuesday night, and in Milford its… the Conference Opener?? Another example of slow play thats not on the golf course. Bader looks like the saddest kid on earth as he ponders when Dafne will grill him about his dad like so many burgers and brats. Maybe he’s thinking .. if I could sneak over to the other bench and don a helmet, nobody will notice I’m playing for the other team! Hey, the way that Tildenite swung and missed by a mile even with the ball being straight as a string ( why is every pitch straight as a string?) Why dont we see ONE human being behind the Tilden batter? No fan, player, on-deck hitter, dugout shot, umpire out of position, announcer ( hey Marty  Moon, your suspension has ended) or reporter ( hey Marjie Ducey, would be nice to see you more then 3 times a year)?

Pelwecki goes yard in P2, and he’s quietly fading into the background in this storyline, (thank goodness. If I hear any more launch angle crap I’m running on the field myself and tackling him before he gets home.)

So maybe Bader will see the field again before summer starts. Or maybe he’ll graduate like everyone else and leave the team and this dreadful scene behind as he moves on to a college career as a wine taster. Sorry, a whine taster. Cheers!



May 18, 2018

Annnnnnd theyre off!

Filed under: actual action, baseball, lame jokes — robmize2013 @ 8:44 pm

Milford hosts Derby on what looks like a dry track, unlike the real Kentucky Derby, which was run in slop. I would think a school called Derby would be located in Kentucky, but Kansas is enough of a bus ride eh? Pelwecki makes an offensive contribution with his bat, which is better then his offensive contribution with his mouth. He informs Mikey Filion how close his long fly ball was to going yard. I guess we  have to listen to his launch angle crap til either he graduates (please?) or he is launched himself to the moon. (Not Marty Moon.) Who the hell holds their bat in the dugout after their at bat? Pelwecki should hang himself in the bat rack and let his bat do the talking….

Of course Mikey joins in the nonsense in Kevins next at bat;hey, at least he’s hitting with men on. If the batting order from the opener is used again, Mike is properly still in the dugout; he would be batting 4 places later, although we still havent figured out the missing 5th batter

My dad was in the army during WW2 and he told me KP stands for Kitchen Police. I’m good with that name for Pelwecki. He can clean up all the bull he’s been feeding the team…

Maybe tomorrow Kevin will go yard for a 3-dinger and we can enjoy his preening over the weekend. Myself, I’d rather watch the Derby again on rerun for 2 days straight. But I have the Preakness and the Royal Wedding in my way. May the best horse win!




May 4, 2018

A Who Friday

Its a metapost today as I honor the Cubs newest millionaire with a classic from Roger Daltry and company. Feel free to comment on the actual strip while youre singing.


Yu Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu

Yu Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu


He walked into the Cubs clubhouse with a speaker from Japan.

He said Theo would pay him several million for the batters to walk away

But all the hitters said his fastball was so straight it wouldnt bend

And the  fans were throwing back every pitch that ever left his hand.


Well who are Yu? Darvish.

Yu Yu Yu Yu.

I really wanna know Yu? Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu.

Tell me who are Yu? Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu.

Cause I really wanna know Yu? Darvish.

Yu Yu Yu Yu.


He took the bus back out of town

Back to the Iowa pen.

He felt a little like a circus clown

with an interpreter speakin.

He stretched back and he pitched up

And looked back at the ball in play.

Eleven runs on the green board

God why ain’t I still in LA???


Well who are Yu? Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu

Oh, who are Yu? Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu

Come on tell me who are Yu? Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu

Alright, who the fuck are Yu? Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu


He knows there’s an ivy wall

Where balls fall from the trees.

His heart is like a broken bat

His ERA is in the teens.

He crawls into a sewer hole

And still receives the boos.

How can he measure up to Twenty Sixteen

When all he does is lose???


Well who are Yu? Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu

I really wanna know Yu Darvish

Yu Yu Yu Yu

I really wanna know

Oh I really wanna know

Come on tell me who are Yu Yu Yu AAHHHHHH YU!!!


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