This Week in Milford

December 8, 2018

Next week, Joe and Kelly Watch “The Graduate”

Filed under: Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 4:01 pm

gt12082018

Kelly looks so young

Travel agent’s hard work; so’s

Internet ninja

 

Sit down, let’s talk movies

Loosen up that vest of yours

And I’ll make popcorn

 

Coach Kaz is boring

I get no stimulation

Grinding his organ

 

“You know, Joe, Milford

Is like Giancaldo; too small

And too provincial

 

It’s all sportsball and

Minding other people’s biz

No life of the mind

 

Drunken Marty Moon

And Milford Pirate Network?

Not entertainment

 

Tornatore made

An epic homage to film

Final reel? Bella!

 

Know what, readers? If

Kelly ends up banging Joe

This will be worth it

 

That final reel, worth leaving here again:

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December 5, 2018

But Did Milford Beat Tilden?

Remember football?

Pepperidge Farm remembers

But Milford doesn’t

 

“VT P-U”? Is

Valley Tech playing Dover

Boys from Pimento?

 

Rough year for Techies

Old Dominion beat VT

Now it’s Milford’s turn

 

Milford not used to

Being number one for a while

Sign guy broke his wrist

 

Hiawatha James

Remember him from baseball?

Great name but no lines

 

Know what else is an

Uncharacteristic romp?

No Jansen and no Bolek

 

Also no cheap shots

Express or implied

Where’s the burial?

 

 

metapost: Trying to learn to use the new WordPress Gutenberg editor on the fly.  Hope this doesn’t look too wonky.

December 1, 2018

Rammer Jammer, Gil Can Yammer

gt12012018

Tonight on WDIG

Listen for Marty Moon’s call:

“Injury report:

 

Jansen, Ruffin have

Hyperextended right legs,

Will miss finale”

 

Uniforms are red

Just like the herring: Tiki’s

“Slow sister” problem 

 

Did Rubin forget?

Why even mention her?

Bullies the problem

 

Speaking of bullies:

Why for the love of Pete would

Jansen go back there?

 

New Thayer, where

The bullies go scot free while

Victim has to leave

 

Maybe New Thayer

Is better for special needs

We will never know

 

And what of Bolek?

Thought he’d help analyze film

Team might get better

 

Maybe film useless

When all the coach can do is

Make the kids run laps

 

We can all agree

Plot was stupider than hell

Let’s go shoot some hoops

November 28, 2018

Less Thinking, More Action!

gt11282018

At Joe Bolek’s house –

“Okay guys, here comes the world

Premiere!” Almost haiku

 

Speaking of the world:

In Milford, five guys is not

A chain burger joint

 

Bolek’s screening room

Should rotate ninety degrees

Screen too close to seats

 

Shape shifting Bolek

Man of a thousand faces

Today looks like Biden

 

Give Joe some credit:

He knows YouTube watchers have

Short attention spans

 

But Tiki gets it

The footage needs to be raw

Like those punks’ knuckles

 

Clark kept shooting to

Erase pain of Milford life

Oh, wait, just video

 

Who else missing point?

Rubin. This is a sports strip

Not Scooby-Doo

 

It’s meddling you want?

Try to replace Karen Moy

Write for Mary Worth

November 24, 2018

Tiki Can’t Really Dust for Vomit

gt11242018

Well this backfired

Subtlety’s not Joe’s forte

But is self-defense?

 

Bolek’s a dumbass

Use phone camera for this

It’s not Rick Soto

 

Whaddaya expect

From a guy who paints crosswalks

With tiny brushes?

 

Can film buff buddies

Jump in, make this a fair fight?

Outlook not so good

 

Now Mudlarks will need

Another new punter

Like Spinal Tap drummers

 

November 21, 2018

Help a Buddy Out?

gt11212018

Today’s cameo

By Toshiro Mifune

Which film, I’m not sure

 

Surprised Whigham drew

Recognizable actor

Mudlarks look alike

 

How many of you

Knew that was Bolek next to

Tiki in the caf?

 

“Feeling frisky” is

Euphemism for “horny”

Is it sexy time?

 

Nah. Let’s interrupt

The Kurosawa screening

For some adventure

 

“Help a buddy out”

Will translate into filming

Some wacky hijinks

 

Phone camera vid

Of Tiki getting bullied

Make it go viral!

 

Toshiro would be

As confused as we all are

With what’s going on

 

 

Haiku metapost:

Here’s to our Ned Ryerson

Ten years at the helm

 

How has he done it?

It’s been hard enough for me

To post twice a week

 

Ned is the straw that

Stirs This Week in Milford’s drink

Here’s to ten years more…?

November 17, 2018

Like We Needed Another Plot Twist

gt11172018

Tiki Jansen was

Eligible after all?

Anticlimactic

 

Why didn’t we see

Dr. Pearl? Always up for

Granny Clampett* action

 

Gil is hesitant

To reinstate Tiki ’cause

He’s a good player?

 

Well, that seals the deal

Gil knows he’s being unfair

Tanking the season

 

Proves beyond a doubt

Milford’s state championship

Was just a fluke

 

“Damn that True Standish!

Unicorn in football cleats

Made me have to work!”

 

Any Milford wins

Come in spite of Gil’s “coaching”

Not because of it

 

What’s this? Another

Plot twist? Something besides the

“Slow sister” excuse?

 

What kind of baggage

Is Tiki dragging with him?

Do we even care?

 

Maybe he should try

Anger management classes

Worked for Van Auken

 

 

*Yes, I know her character’s actual name was Daisy Moses.

November 14, 2018

Gil’s Next Trick Play: The Tiki Eligible

gt11142018

Kaz can’t conclude that

Tiki eligible, so

Off to the weight room

 

Then while bench pressing

Bet Kaz wasn’t expecting

Gil to teabag him

 

There’s no clear-cut call

On eligibility

To keep us guessing

 

Gil Thorp logic:

“What would our opponents think?”

They don’t have to know

 

No Urban Meyer

More like Kirby Not-so-Smart

Or next Petrino

 

Andre Ruffin sez:

“Wish you were playing tonight.”

“The jury’s still out.”

 

Benched Tiki again?

Didn’t even dress him out?

Why did he show up?

 

Surely Marty Moon

Has noticed. He should be on

This like white on rice

 

Through all this shitshow

Where’s the movie buff punter?

Off watching game film?

 

Is he reviewing

This travesty of a plot?

Give it the finger

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