This Week in Milford

July 27, 2017

Cavalier with the Facts

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“We are here at the Milford Country Club, where we’ve secretly replaced the lemonade they usually serve with a urine sample. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!”  At least I imagine that’s what the server who’s breaking the fourth wall here is thinking.

Another day of exposition on Jaquan Case, in which we learn that he spent three years at Mr. Jefferson’s University. Would Jaquan have been a contemporary of Sean Singletary? I’m grateful to have the archives* available to connect the dots on Jaquan and Trey’s backstories. (I can also see that Rubin name-dropped a couple of high schools local to me back then, too, which might’ve made me think Milford is in Pennsylvania, which it is, or at least one of them.)  Tronix may still have its fingers in Jaquan, or he may just have all that leftover swag from when his career fizzled out. We’ll learn soon.

Stick around; after that clinker of a spring arc this might be entertaining.  Who knows? Maybe Hadley V. Baxendale or Uncle Rudy will show up. Marty Moon may start wearing mascara again.

*metapost: If you have the time, I recommend visiting the archives. The TWIM hive mind contains some really long-time readers of the strip and their memories are great to have, especially if you went long years not seeing the strip as I did.  Going through the archives helps me appreciate the sense of continuity (such as it is) in the strip, as well as the vastly improved artwork – not only in terms of style but also in terms of accuracy. The sports uniforms, for example, aren’t just monogrammed shirts without numbers. Look at the Milford – Bishop Tardy game from 2005: Milford’s wearing Michigan cheerleader’s tops while Tardy’s jerseys look like something you’d punish a student with by making them wear, like a dunce cap.

July 22, 2017

Turn and Grunt

Filed under: big arms, exposition comics, football, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 9:25 am

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We got a lot of good exposition from the TWIM hive mind yesterday.  Trey Davis and Jaquan Case are back after a decade plus and looking very little like their teenaged selves* (change in artists notwithstanding).  Like many if not most young adults, they look to be shedding some of their teenage personas as well.  Yeah, a lot of folks wouldn’t want to be called “The Don” these days, and that’s all I have to say about that.

Speaking of weird handshakes, is it considered impolite to leave your gloves on to shake the hand of someone who is barehanded?  Opinions appear to differ.   Heather’s cankles are looking mighty thick today. Wonder if she taped them herself. I’m sure we’ll learn more about her future as Trey and Jaquan fill in their backstories in the coming days.

*I’d link more but Gocomics went down as I was composing this post.

July 20, 2017

Shredded Wheet!

Filed under: big arms, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos, Pantheon of Hair — teenchy @ 4:57 am

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The Secret Pelwecki’s not-so-secret project to convert himself into a fullback has gotten someone’s attention, but not Gil’s. (I’m sure we’ll see him knocking back Long Island Iced Teas on the porch before long.)  These big galoots* who just happened to be working out at the football field have gotten sucked into the project as well.  Eventually Heather will have turned Pelwecki into Milford’s version of Tom Sawyer’s fence.

“Thanks, guys. Y’know, you look familiar.”

“So does your hair. I think I saw it on some girl sitting in a dugout last week.”

Hurray for continuity!

 

*Hey, if Heather’s calling them “gents,” I can use some outdated slang too.

July 13, 2017

There’s No Veering in Baseball!

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Well that whole journalism thing was awkward, wasn’t it?  Made me feel stupid for thinking there might be some point to it.  Let’s get back to what this strip does best: putting Milford’s girls in the orbit of Milford’s boys. After all, boys won’t watch girls play unless they’re interested in one of the players but girls will watch the boys play just because, amirite?

So to wrap the spring* plot up we’re gonna see if Ryan has indeed practiced his anger management after he gets another bad call from a crappy Valley ump and his teammates flub away a lead on him.  Marty’s mom has told him to take out the trash, so he quickly makes the Mudlarks a Fielding Three and rolls a 14 for the Tilden batter.  As with most Gil Thorp arcs, all of this would come off as a lot less contrived if the plot had been better paced. Then again, the phrase “it’s a marathon, not a sprint” is probably wasted on someone who holds track and field in such contempt.

*Feels funny calling it that in the middle of July, doesn’t it?

July 8, 2017

That’s “Dafne.” “Hello” is my kitty’s name.

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I will refrain from falling back on my go-to “Who saw that coming?” from Black Dynamite except to say, well, I saw that coming.

Now that that’s out of the way, hey, sports! Well, sorta. Not only did laissez-faire Mimi let Daffy back onto the field after that fiasco, she let her take infield. Some of the other Lady Mudlarks must have run off from practice after being distracted by something or other.

I notice Drafty has a soccer ball in her room. Maybe Heather Burns left it behind for her. Anyhoo, while we await a week of hand-waving at Milford losses and Dafonte’s print mea culpa, we can at least have fun speculating on what misogynistic fun and games await us for the next eight weeks thereafter.

 

July 6, 2017

The Hits Keep Coming

July 5, 2017

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July 6, 2017

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Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso better be glad that Milford ain’t old school Westview, else he’d be getting shot at for mouthing off at a hall monitor like that. How plausible is Jimmy’s defense, anyway? If we look at Tuesday’s strip we can see a dark object with a protruding right angle at Jimmy’s face height, but that angle is about level with his shoulders. Chekhov’s cabinet door…

…or Chekhov’s black eye?  Whichever, they fall into place for the logical conclusion of this arc. Braying Daftpunk, flashing her best Biting Pear of Salamanca leer, chooses her words carelessly. Anybody with an ear could draw the conclusion that she intended to hit Jimmy and, even if she didn’t, that she moved past him with such force that he fell into Chekhov’s cabinet door. And you know what? Anybody will. Daffy will soon find herself in Ryan Van Halen’s shoes, which will lead her begging to Ms. Rizk to be let back on to the Trumpet staff to defend herself and Ryan. Lessons learned, fade to silhouettes, walk through a doorway and we’ll see you on the Thorps’ back porch.

Think we’ll ever see any sports being played in this arc again? Maybe that Van Halen kid will play some chin music on some Central batters and cow them into being no-hit. Then he can get killed off like the last Milford pitcher who threw a no-hitter.

July 1, 2017

We hate to see you go but we love to watch you – oh, never mind

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Poor Carrie Hobson. First she gets shellacked by Jefferson in the first game of the post-Boo Radley era, then she gets soundly rejected by Hurdler Gary Meola. Another spring arc, another tearful exit for Carrie. What did she ever do to piss Rubin off?

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Dafne finds herself having to fend off Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso’s poorly aimed Vulcan nerve pinch. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into a bad touch.

Wishing our friends to the north a happy Canada Day on the 150th anniversary of your confederation. A bit of hardball nostalgia for you today as a lagniappe:

June 29, 2017

Someone’s in the Kitchen with Dafne

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It’s been over a month and a half since the Milford softball girls have seen any action, so at least one of them is hoping to see some off the field.  Turns out Carrie had better save that sliding for the softball diamond, if she ever gets back there. Pissy faced Gary is just not into her.

Meanwhile in the kitchen the unwanted advances are fixin’ to swap genders. Dafne raises a dainty pinky and flashes some midriff as she reaches for the pause that refreshes, whilst Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso tries to figure out when and where to put his shot. Unlike poor misguided Carrie, Dafne has the journalistic talent to turn the episode into something print-worthy.  Her grand return to the Trumpet will read along the lines of “I got hit on last week. You know who else got hit on, too? Ryan Van Auken’s ex-girlfriend!” Naw, it’ll be more like “I almost gave someone at Milford High unwanted attention, and now that I’ve gotten unwanted attention too, I can empathize and will now shut my trap.”

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