I Would Have Guessed That, At Some Point, A Permission Slip Of Some Sort Would Need To Have Been Signed

P1: Whatever Ms. Rizzkk is on probably needs to be dosed a little lower. The way she vacantly smiles while DD and (checks back to May 12th) Jay Bhatia discuss such weighty matters is disconcerting to say the least.

P2: Speaking of disconcerting, in a strip with a long history of poorly depicted high fives (seriously!), this one enters the canon and impels me to create a new category.

P3: Holy Shit! Someone tell Chief Linde to check the Bader family’s crawlspace!

Song that came to mind while writing today’s post:

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Great Moments In Milford Journalism

Are not depicted in the above. Please stay tuned in for the inimitable T. Drew Hardin’s commentary coming right up!

In the meantime, please feel free to fire away.

Minus points: Since when did Marjie adopt the poking out ear look?

Coaches Want Travelers And Campers

P1: About College ball… You’ve never come across as the scholarly type, so why not try out for the Central City Boxmakers? They play exhibition games for beer money and seem about on your level. Last I heard, Slim Chance was picking up cleanup innings in between gigs at local county fairs.

P2: Besides, coaches want kids who have enriched them over the years through the provision of free (amateur) labor and camp tuition. They especially like it when they’ve had the chance to groom these kids away from their parents. Then again, if anyone on the team could use some groomin’… Maybe at least buy you a scrunchy or something.

P3: And after an almost interminable lecture on the walk from the locker room to the field, none of this gets through to Kevin. I’m going to have to assume that Kaz has some bluetooth buds plugged in and is jamming out to the greatest hits the early twenty-first century has to offer.

Bonus Points: I award none today.

Holding a Finger in The Wind

Not to get all meta on y’all, but lemme just say that following up on posts such as those Ned penned yesterday can be a bit daunting. That said, let’s get to it.

It seems we’ve come some way in the realm of finger repair and thumb reattachment, such that it’s not preclusive of rehabilitation and return. Unfortunately for Gil’s powers of recollection, as described below, Joe made it to the bigs prior to his injury and may possibly have enjoyed success as a pitcher a la Three Finger Brown. Then again, this was forty years ago so Gil may be forgiven for being a little shaky on the details. Heck, forty years ago I was… Well, let’s just leave it at that it was a real, real long time ago.

Want to know what would make panels two and three a lot more interesting? Context.

Instead of wasting time dragging the Bader characters through the mud for no discernible reason, we could have some sense of how many games have been played, how many remain, what efforts Gil may or may not have made on Kevin’s behalf to get him to the next level, etc.

Heck, we could even have explored an arc where his teammates, annoyed with his obsession for personal stats, go to the coach for help with their well meaning but misguided star. Maybe have Kevin go down swinging when he should have just been trying to advance the runner and the Mudlarks lose a crucial game to a hated rival to miss the playdowns.  The point is: There were a lot of missed opportunities for Lessons To Be Learned.

Instead, we wasted more panels than I am prepared to count on an inane interview of BB by DD that I can scarcely recall as, practically speaking, it had no plot. Which might not be the end of the world, except that it’s the middle of June and I have to imagine the football arc starts in August.

Minus points:

P1: Re: Gil’s up the nostril shot, as my toddler son used to say, “No TANK You!”

P2: Please tell me that is some kind of miniature clipboard.

P3: It’s been my lifelong quest, which I embarked upon eight weeks ago, to break his all-time record, with which I am only vaguely familiar.

metapost: FYI to the team, I have created and applied The Legend of Joe Sharkey category.

Frost/Nixon This Isn’t

Barry probably should’ve taken one of his mom’s Ativans before this interview.

Speaking of, did Ma Bader ever even come back with DD’s diet soda, er, ice water? The depictions of single moms in this strip, with the possible exception of Judge Hiatt,* are almost uniformly negative. What gives I wonder?

That said, I question why DD is leaning in in panel two and then throws BB a lifeline.

Bonus points:

P1: Rare double exploding eyeballs.

P2: Do the kids these days still use notebooks? Do the reporters?

P3: “Everyone thinks you’re a jerk. Do you think you’ve become more of a jerk?”

* As Billy points out Judge Hiatt is not actually single, which I think bolsters my point.

Making Things Worse

I’m struggling to grasp anyone’s motivations here other than, perhaps, Ma Bader’s. Well, I suppose Barry’s motivation is that he’s a hot headed moron* with self esteem issues but that doesn’t make for the most compelling protagonist. At least not as written here…

Bonus points:

P1: Ah, the rare ANDS brand laptop, disfavored by Milford teens who prefer |||| brand computers. I’ll leave speculation as to the nature of the mysterious foreground display to our wonderful commenters.

P2: I’m digging the Bader’s mismatched chairs at their tiny kitchen table underneath the chandelier they stole from a TGI Friday’s. Also, Steve Luhm has clearly been moonlighting.

P3: I’m sure I’ve floated some truly idiotic ideas in front of my mom over the years but I don’t think I’ve ever given her occasion to give me such an exaggerated (and presumably genuine) stinkeye.

* Seriously, ‘enoblers’?

Metapost: As this year’s Memorial Day celebrations recede into memory, please bear in mind the veterans who surely number amongst this count.

Launch Angles!

OK, Gil Thorp, I am not ashamed to admit that, when it comes to depictions of cartoon violence, you have my full attention. Showing the Derby baserunner (my hero!) dusting himself off in P1 just before getting tackled made my day. The only disappointment is that we miss the rest of the tussle and skip right ahead to the ump ejecting BB.

Bonus points:

BB’s form looks pretty good in panel two.

I always thought umps tossed people with their thumbs, not their pointer fingers but maybe I’m wrong about that.

Bonus questions:

How much of a run up do you think BB got and did the Derby baserunner (my hero!) see him coming or was he hit from the side?

Did I mention that the Derby baserunner is my hero?

Moms Can Drive Drunk Too

P1: The girls just achieved a significant victory so, of course, they’re talking about talking to a boy.

P2: Double D ain’t too good at establishing rapport.

P3: Nor recovering well when she gets called out on it. Good on Barry for firmly shutting this nonsense down.

Bonus Questions:

P1: That is quite an array of Milfordian Chunky Bracelets and Carrie (?) is also rocking the Huge Earrings. Do you suppose this surfeit of jewelry could be affecting their gaits?

P2: What could possibly be so fascinating about Foreground Character #2’s fork that he is intently studying it while his curiously collared cafeteria companion catches DD and BB’s contretemps?

P3: Will DD doggedly drive on due to her devotion to documenting BB’s dad’s drunken driving?

And, finally, has the Spring plot already started to fly off the rails? Well, I think we all know the answer to that one.