This Week in Milford

November 15, 2017

Sing Some Spanish

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Uncle Gary came so close to touching his face and springing me from having to write today’s post…

Panel 1: Great, so we’re adding in some racial condescension to Uncle Gary’s shtick. That’s just what we needed.

Panel 2: I’ll say it again, Ricky is being awfully tolerant of his uncle’s delusional maneuvering. As has been suggested by others, it seems we’re well past the point where he would’ve told UG to stuff it.

Panel 3: Worst episode of Entourage ever. (I dunno; I never saw the movie.)

Please note that posts from me next week will be delayed as, instead of rehashing this dreck, I will hopefully be taking in views from the Tortolita mountains.

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November 14, 2017

Play Misty For Me

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Metapost: There’s no way I can follow that masterpiece by Ned yesterday. Simply magnificent. That said, much like dealing with a recalcitrant whitehead, let’s squeeze out a post today and be done with it.

Panel 1: I am simultaneously comforted that Little Ricky appears to have a crappier cellphone than I do and then I remember that these are just drawings and am discomfited by having taken comfort in imagining that. Hey, did someone say something about concussions? Awesome.

Panel 2: We give Rick a hard time around here but, to be completely fair to him*, his reactions to his Uncle are the most reasonable depicted behavior by practically any citizen of Milford and/or the broader Valley region.

Panel 3: If I have to look at another panel of Uncle Gary touching his face, I am out. This is not negotiable.

Inspiration for today’s post title**:

* As one ought while, again, bearing in mind that we’re talking about fictional characters.

** I’ve seen, I dunno, maybe half of Clint Eastwood’s films which he’s directed and appeared. This is not one of them. I originally was going for something like this, but decided that trailer was more fun/insane.

 

November 11, 2017

I Routinely Wear Glasses And I Swear That I Never Do That…

Filed under: freak hands, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 9:37 am

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Maybe I just need to up my evil game… The notion that Uncle Gary is sitting at the kitchen table, tapping away at his laptop and sipping coffee, almost exactly as I am right now, would be more disconcerting if I weren’t clean shaven.

Panel 1: Pretty creepy.

Panel 2: Super creepy.

Panel 3: This is all a little too much to take in on a Saturday morning.

Enjoy your weekend everybody!

November 8, 2017

The Impossible Turd And Other Unanswered Questions

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Panel 1: Is Little Ricky wearing pads? Cargo pants? Why are his feet splayed like that and where are his crutches? What the hell is going on here?

Panel 2:  Isn’t Rick supposed to be a big guy? Tall, at least? Is he sitting down here? How much does anyone want to bet that balancing an open umbrella on the top of his bald spot goes viral ten times faster than a video of some random tank town high schooler singing the national anthem?

Panel 3: How many editors does it take to cut this thing together? Who the hell is paying for any of this and why? Is Uncle Gary going to drink that entire bottle of ketchup?

November 7, 2017

Oh Goody. More Waiting.

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Amazing. So, Gil’s brilliant strategy of implementing a new offense mid-season was based on, among other very dubious assumptions, the notion that it keys entirely off of one and only one player. That’s some coaching.

Panel 1: I had a job with a guy from the midwest who used ‘gents’ frequently. A recent development was that I had to work with/for him a lot more. I don’t work at that job anymore.

Panel 2: Should I recognize this guy? I sure should. He’s the dynamo who is driving the plot, Andre! Here he is as part of the crowd and here is where we confirm his name. We also see him here being kind of a jerk about supporting Little Ricky’s fledgling singing career. Way to go, Andre! That can-do spirit is exactly what the team will need while they are getting pounded into the turf at Tilden.

Panel 3: Speaking of jerks… Jeeze guys. Maybe save that talk for after practice. Are coaches Shaw and Boone the shadowy figures lurking in panel two? Guys! Gil and Andre can totally hear you.

Bonus Question: What is the purpose of that card Steve is holding? I checked the color version of the strip which shows that it’s a white, blank card.

Bonus Bonus Question: Speaking of, by what means is Steve’s towel suspended?

November 1, 2017

Looks Like Your Classic Inane Plot Twist.

Filed under: ?, actual action, football, Lens Flare, Trainer Rick Scott — timbuys @ 7:36 am

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Taken out of the context of the ostensible plot of the fall arc, today’s strip could actually be pretty great. As it is, well, let’s just say I’m not especially enthusiastic to see how Uncle Gary ends up spinning this development, to say nothing of whether this has any implications for Kevin’s future at FB. Also, concussions. Or something.

October 31, 2017

As The Plot Veers

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Boy howdy, was that ever a lot of buildup for nothing regarding Little Ricky and singing the anthem…

Nevermind that, lookie here, it’s The Not So Secret Pelwecki and it appears that we’re almost ready to wrap this one up. I mean, at this point, why wouldn’t you waste panel three on a crowd shot?

Bonus points: The MHS Marching Mudlarks’ band uniforms and their adorable tiny horns.

October 25, 2017

The Cat Doesn’t Know What To Make Of It!

Filed under: ?, Boredom in Milford, Just plain sad, Pissy faced Ricky Soto — timbuys @ 7:17 am

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I think the cat speaks for all of us.

Hey everybody, I think we may be on the verge of learning a very important lesson about viral youtube videos or something… again.

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