This Week in Milford

April 9, 2021

Newbie trumps vet? Bull.

Filed under: ?, female moustache, Mimi Thorp, softball, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 7:31 pm

Just when we thought we were over the Corinna Karenna era in the Thorpoverse, here she comes again, spinning out of the turn….

How the FUCKKKKKK does Gil know who should start on Mimi’s team??? When you’ve been the Starting catcher for 2 years, a position that most players dont want, but the ones that do are worth their weight in gold, — its YOUR job to lose. You dont let some newbie from another school just walk in and take your job.

Then in P2 we have Mimi breaking the news to Brown– and she knows what Mimi will say before she says it. Whaaat?? We have mind readers here? Not only does JB happily agree to the position switch, she already knows Corinna is better then her, without really seeing her play a Game! What does that say about Mimi’s talent evaluation? Hey, I’ve held down this job since I was a Sophomore. How damn good do you have to be in the first place to start on the varsity as a sophomore?? Pretty damn good, my friend. But I’ll gladly turn over the job to basically a rookie at the school and better yet, my fielders glove is in my locker. Wait a minute, how do I have a fielders glove when Ive been catching for 2 years? What kinda shape is that thing in? Probably hard as a rock since its been rotting away since maybe when I was a freshman, and I moonlighted in the outfield. Its gonna need a ton of oil.

Then we have the question of — where will JB play now, and if she starts, who else gets the bad news about a position change? ” Are you kidding? Jocelynn is the best right fielder Ive ever seen! My first basemans mitt is in my locker.”

We just got a pile of fresh manure dumped on us.

And the stench is powerful.

March 27, 2021

Drive By lunacy

Filed under: ?, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 7:17 pm

As the pieces of this puzzle start coming together we find Vic driving Dougs car by the girls as they pose for a team piture outside the school. Of course Doug arranged the whole thing so Vic could look cool for Tessi, which is like telling a horse you love it after it shits on you while youre washing it.

If Tessi is impressed with THAT, she’s even more of a moron then either of these 2 dufusses, who again dont know when to quit doing stupid stuff to impress a girl. Good thing there didnt Happen to be any traffic on the road, as a screeching pullaway from 0 to 65 in 2 seconds could easily result in a collision with some old fart driving 5 mph under the speed limit on his way to the barber.

Yes I peeked at the Saturday strip, and by golly we find out how Vic pulled this off. If thats what he’s gotta do to impress Tessi, well, suffice it to say, he didnt get what he deserved.

March 13, 2021

Mayor Tessi? We’re all in

Filed under: ?, basketball, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 4:31 pm

More questions from Vic about Tessi to Doug, and he supplies more nonsense as he infers that a high school girl who plays hoops is the mayor of Milford. I think a while back I made a list of ‘mayors’.. Harry Carey of Rush Street, Hank Sauer of Wrigley Field, etc. (if I find the link I’ll insert it later) but those people had some chops. Tessi?? A mayor?? Of ‘That town’? Doug musta breathed too many exhaust fumes lately and its affecting his cognitive thinking.

So if Doug is saying Vic is not shallow, or as shallow, he’s saying that Tessi IS shallow. So how is she also a mayor? I thought mayors were… deep. Meaning, having enough leadership skills to influence people. How the hell would you elect a shallow mayor? I wanna say Tessi is closer to a dumb blond then any kind of mayor, but Doug knows her better then I do, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but suffice it to say this situation is just overblown. And P2 gives us another plot angle that we dont need. Just spit it out Doug– if she dont like him, thats that. Pour your coffee and move on to someone else– there’s plenty of others.

P3 gives us a phrase that has been said by the following people:

  1. A player in Texas Hold Em who is putting all his chips on one hand to either stay in the game or be eliminated. He either has a cant miss hand or he’s down to so few chips he must play them. I know the feeling.
  2. A bar owner on an episode of Bar Rescue who mismanaged his bar so badly that he wound up quitting the job before the bar could be rescued. His pet phrase was “All In”. John Taffer was so sick of hearing All In he said he would walk out if it was said again.
  3. Illinois governor JB Pritzker, who came up with the phrase to emphasize his stay at home order early in the pandemic. He said “We’re all in in Illinois.” Meaning everyone was inside, all the time. Which was nonsense. Like most of what else he said.

So we wait to find out what the girls mean by the phrase. Those who have peeked at the Saturday strip may have an idea.

February 5, 2021

High fiving for that?

Filed under: ?, High Five Fail, lame jokes — robmize2013 @ 10:25 pm

First of all– I went to Muskegon last weekend to find all the restaurants in Michigan were closed for indoor dining, so wound up eating in my car, my motel room, in a heated igloo, and a cold bar deck, along with under a tent at the sports complex where I went luging and ice skating. So no cold beer for me. And no luging medal either, as my fastest of 4 runs was 21.35 seconds, about 2 seconds behind the bronze medalest in the mens division. We had ideal weather, temps around 30 degrees and overcast. 3 inches of snow fell overnight Sunday, and that was it. Of course back home in Chicago we got a foot, as it snowed from midafternoon Saturday to late Sunday night, and it was sure a sight when I got off the interstate. So I enjoyed my trip overall. Plenty of people wiped out before the finish line so I held my own. Try again next year!

Obviously out in Milford the weather is mild, not a flake of snow on the ground, and fall jackets. Wish I could dry off my car like Doug is doing, hatless. And Vic is making up his own problem; dude– ya cant please everyone; just do what you feel like doing to better YOUR life, and let the chips fall where they may. If theyre really old friends they wont mind you pursuing new interests.

P3 — not only does one guy finish the others sentence, but explain Vics comment to me. I pour root beer and drink it. They sound like gangrene patients to me.

October 17, 2020

Say what??

Filed under: ?, actual action, football, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots — robmize2013 @ 5:01 pm

Lets ..keep..our..guys..off..the..field…? Apparently Will thinks if nobodys on the field Madison will lose? If there was any Exhibit A of concusssions having an effect on the brain this is it.

Yes I get his point but its weird to say the least. What he means is ‘lets control the clock and limit Madisons possessions’ since apparently they are a high powered offense. Thats how you beat a team when they can score and you cant. Even though Milford just proved they can put up points in a hurry with the BACKUP QB playing who just got disciplined for being EXACTLY the type of QB the Mudlarks need in this game!?! As Ned Ryerson would say — “Am I right or am I right?”

Yeah sure you can hold the ball with your running game but jesus, part of coaching is giving your team the BEST chance to win every game.

Air Jimmy huh? You still gotta play some D, and if the other 11 guys suck, your 12th man is of Absolutely no use to you!! 1 outa 12 aint gonna cut it people! Do you hear me Thorp??

P3 – what the hell is on Martys screen?

In a different life, Jimmy was a rock singer:

August 29, 2020

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and Shut Your Piehole

Corina must not have gotten enough free meals out of Milford, so she whipped out Mim’s* business card, punched up those digits, and set up a lunch date at the diner to glom one last one. Wow, that diner table sure is shiny, ain’t it? Looks like Steve Luhm must’ve dropped in and applied his mop skills to it. You sure as shootin’ know Maureen didn’t, since her nosy ass has been spending so much time burning up the phone lines.

This feels like an arc-ender, what with Maureen’s snappy one-liner and the fact that this is the last weekend in August. What, really, have the last couple of months advanced in this strip, besides laying the groundwork for two possible long-term (by Gil Thorp standards) characters? That Milford has its own version of Mary Worth in Maureen? That Mimi’s gonna end up with a decent catcher for the Lady Mudlarks next spring? That Golden Boy True Standish isn’t so golden?

Tune in Monday when we’ll see if Kaz and Rick Scott are attaching face shields behind the Mudlarks’ face masks.

*Not a typo; see Thursday’s strip.

August 28, 2020

Is that how you carry a golf bag?

Filed under: ?, baseball, Just plain sad, Milford Alumni, Milford Idiots, Where is Milford? — robmize2013 @ 5:36 pm

Now we get a rehashing of the events of 3 weeks ago (at least) from our friend Corinna about the ballgame/picnic yadda yadda yadda. We really need to hear that again today only because True didnt know about it, but thats a dumb ass reason to move to a city! For free food. Yep. Otherwise the town blows, but that free food once in a lifetime sure sold me. Sheesh.

True’s outfit is interesting- a black t-shirt under a Wake Forest shirt with the sleeves cut off. Why not just wear one or the other? Its still August for chrissakes. Thats the best he can do for that big pro contract huh? And the Rays hat showing off his pro team.

What the hell are they doing with golf bags sitting around talking? If thats only an equipment bag, how much shit do you need to play catch? So many odd things in 1 strip.

Then the best part- Panel 3- True says his college (on that shirt) HAD to fly him in? To Milford? For what? To work out?? With who? Some chick going to remedial school? Or an official baseball catcher assigned to him by WF? And most of all, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT CORINNA SAID IN P2??

So many dots to connect here and I’m just dying to know what Rays official looked at the plane schedule out in Tampa and came up with Milford as True’s destination. Chicago? Nope. Nashville? Nada. Hey how about even Atlanta? Oh no. No way do they have anyone hanging around with a catchers mitt that looks like a hat. Milford it is.

Finally – is True pointing at his shirt when he refers to WF? Again? Didnt he point at his hat talking about Tampa?

2 morons. 1 non-existent storyline. Tune in tomorrow when his official catcher shows up on the 19th hole.

July 5, 2020

Baseball, pizza, apple subs, and… Ice Cream??

As much as we all wish our colleague Teenchy a swift recovery from whatever is ailing him, the first thought that crossed my mind when I heard about his condition was.. the strip was finally so far off the tracks that it made him physically ill.

And I’m sure thats not far off for the rest of us.

How on Gods green earth is this happening? We start off with the promise of a possibly exciting matchup thats so unknown that we dream of a memorable conclusion that will have the Milfordites talking about it the rest of the summer.

What we got is…not even close. How much food can these players eat in the first place to be able to play at any level resembling competitive when its already 90 degrees or so out (Yes its summer, we knew that before the game started)? I mean, really. During a normal athletic event most players are happy enough with water or Gatorade. This is like a Thanksgiving dinner for chrissake. And these kids are supposed to play with all these carbs and calories and sweets laid out for them?

I had already mentioned the umpire and the fans– did they know what was coming? Nope. Whoever planned this foodfest has shit for brains. And thats putting it mildly.

So I wont belabor their noble efforts to keep observing the constant interruptions in their job (ump) and their free time (fans). Which in any world beside ours would lead to downright mutiny.

Thank God they didnt charge admission for this or they’d be storming the Basilica.

Wherever this storyline is headed from here, somebodys got some major explaining to do. And I cant believe they have a rational one.

Get well soon Teenchy!!

 

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