This Week in Milford

November 25, 2022

Hey its football

We wanted football, I wanted football, and gosh darn it, we HAVE football. Or had, as this is an old game from 1987. Seems like we’ve waited 35 years for this anyway..

We first got a VCR in 1986; it was for my moms birthday, and I still remember how cool it was to put in a tape and record stuff, then watch it again. The first movie we watched? Terms of Endearment with Jack Nicholson. Not a bad start, and I started recording many things, sports, movies, TV shows, overnight stuff I never could stay up for, (one movie was The Paper Chase which was on at 2 am on Channel 9 and had a scene that was unviewable due to temporary loss of the cable signal and I didnt see it until years later) and over the years compiled about 170 tapes which I still have mostly in a box in the basement and others in a nice 2-doored pullout furniture piece designed for VHS tapes that is in my bedroom. I labeled them as I went and thank goodness I was so fastidious because 170 tapes would be a lot of work to detail all the programming on them at this point. I quit recording stuff when I finally decided I had so many tapes I would never have the time to watch them all, plus the space they took up was getting to the point that enough was enough, and of course I had also acquired a number of prerecorded tapes which took up more room, and at that time DVDs were more common, so I collected a few of those, which were quite slimmer as you know. Now I rarely add to my collection except in rare cases, as most stuff is either on Youtube or now that I have a DVR which came with my conversion to satellite a few years back, I can merely record anything I want and its stored within the confines of the TV, not adding to the finite space of the house.

So every so often I pull out a tape and watch it, (yes I still have a VCR, its a DVD?VCR combo that serves my needs well) and yes I have a few games from 1987 too. Most of my tapes have held up pretty well and its cool to watch the old commercials and the hairstyles from the 80’s and 90’s whenever the mood strikes. ( I always thought Joan London’s hair was gorgeous back in the day with her big perm on Good Morning America)

So anyhoo, Gil is coaching a game in which Luke Martinez is on his opposition. And young Marty Moon is on the mike. But we have a cliffhanger during the broadcast. Unless this is a Batman episode, a football game doesnt take a break in the middle of a play. So we must stay tuned until tomorrow for the result of ONE PLAY. Marty wouldnt take a break mid-play in real life. Not in 1987, not now.

But this is a comic strip. And Barajas is writing it. So we wait.

November 11, 2022

“How not to advance the plot” for dummies

Filed under: ?, Chunky Bracelets, Gils kids, hands in the air, Keri Thorp, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 4:57 pm

I really thought today was gonna reveal something about Keri’s odd personality but no– we flip back to last Tuesday. The only problem with that is we dont even know what today is. I thought we had Marjie D AND football back too, but it was too good to be true. Back to the uneven nonsense that this new plot has become. I forgot all about the Linda Lindas until today. Their need to be in this strip is next to zero. Didnt we just look at 2 newspaper issues back to back, 1 telling a blatant lie and the next exagerating a high school football matchup before it happens? When did games have previews that warranted front page headlines, even in a rag like this one?

One thing that hasnt changed is this late season football. Its Veterans Day and we’re still in mid-season form. Get on the stick or we’ll have Frosty saying “Happy Birthday!” before the final gun is fired.

Hard to believe the Linda Lindas were at the school library so late that Keri cant get up the next morning. Cant they schedule this hoo-ha on a Friday or Saturday night?? Check another ‘makes no sense’ box.

In honor of Hurricane Nicole thats currently ravaging Florida our song today will be this rarely heard gem from Point Blank in 1983. I swear I’ve had Sirius radio for 12 years and havent heard this played once. Its way too good to be so off the map. Of course in high school I heard it all the time.

October 21, 2022

Friday night fever

Going camping this weekend to Coloma Michigan, so back in our old writers stomping grounds again. Thorp is really gonna sub for a French teacher?? Bou jour is about all I know, I took 3 years of Spanish.

Mon deu means My God. Dr. Pearl doesnt even wait for his answer, just throws it at him. My Spanish teachers never called in sick, but if they did, no way in hell could I look at my gym teacher who also coached football with a straight face.

Just have em study the next lesson on their laptops Gil, and the 45 minutes will be up before you can say Bon Vivant!

September 23, 2022

MeeMaw who??

Boy we have a lot to get to here so lets get crackin–

  1. Most girls dont wear torn-sleeve muscle shirts. Guys do, like me. Keri is a girl as far as I know.
  2. How does Keri already know how to drive? Isnt she a freshman? (I already related how only seniors could drive at my school.)
  3. Its ok to like Iggy Pop but who the hell is that on her T-shirt?
  4. The way the window/door is in the background indicates the room is not Keri’s bedroom but likely the living room. If so, why the hell is Iggy Pop on the wall in the living room? Gil put that there? Egads!
  5. I thought Jami was older then Keri. And HE needs a ride?
  6. Whoever the hell Meemaw Debbie is, why does Jamie have to make a deal like that? Mimi should only accept a yes or no answer. And its wrong for Mimi to accept that deal. Apparently Meemaw Debbie only plays right after school. Otherwise why cant one of the parents drive Jami to Lukes house? Good Lord.
  7. And now Gil is concerned about Luke being a bad influence on Jami. Cripes, my parents wern’t saying stuff like that when I needed a ride somewhere. They trusted that my friends were ok.
  8. Mimi, whats better, a bad friend or no friend? Apparently she doesnt care. Hey, hang around with a drug dealer for all I care. You need to make friends dude!!

July 22, 2022

On with the (no) show!

We finally get to the end of the long presentation which culminates in Gil accepting Coach of the year honors for…. what? Conference? Region? State? Hey, they were going to state after the big win on the cold winters night, and Lord knows how cold it would be for the next game or 3. The suspension of reality meter is still off the charts even with a new writer.

I guess Emmitt Tays was an all-time Milford player, but I’d bet my house that there’s not a peep of him in the archives. Good thing he caught that ball at the end of the game or he’d be forgotten about as soon as the lights went out. Who remembers the losers? Well, the Buffalo Bills are an exception.

Legendary, Gil?? I followed my high school team for years after I graduated, and a handful of them made the NFL, but there’s not a one I would call legendary. 1 of em even intercepted a pass in the Super Bowl, and if you walked down the street and asked people who he was, you’d get blank stares. So I have a hard time saying any high school player is legendary. Legendary means EVERYONE KNOWS WHO HE IS.

Babe Ruth was legendary. Jim Brown. Johnny Unitas. Hell, Joe Namath was very average but he won 1 game that made him legendary. So be it.

And P3? Every other table I ever saw with name tags had individual names at each place setting. Not “… Family” Pretty shocking that even Mimi couldnt take the time for this, but the time reference is so vague we dont even know if he’s married or has kids yet. But anyway its very strange to see a vacant table where your own family should be.

So so far this new guy has been nothing short of weird. Old memories, winter football, more bad graphics; we still have no sniff of any writing talent yet. Maybe next week will be that golf story I’ve been waiting for.

If not, there’s always lemonade with Mimi. In the present.

June 10, 2022

Hey Blue are you blind?? No, your pitcher is.

All the umpires in history who’ve had to put up with various themes on the taunts they receive from fans about being blind have to love this strip, where the ump finally gets his revenge! This time its the pitcher who is blind. And the ump calls him out on it, and damn it, he’s right.

Yeah Gil no rule says Blue HAS to toss your man from the game, but guess what smartypants. The ump is in charge of the game, not you. He can remove anyone from the game that he believes is a safety hazard to the other players. And if you cant figure that out by now you’re a moron. He can eject fans too. How many years have you been coaching and not know that? I coached baseball for 5 years and had several arguments with the blue man group. But I never crossed the line. If an ump told me my player couldnt see, by god I’d have him out ASAP. Not Gildo.

My catcher once got tossed for accidently bumping the ump walking off the field after an inning late in a road game, and the players mom went berserk, understandably. I thought Blue was gonna run her as well, and he had a right to. I found out I had no catcher after I heard her screaming at him. (We lost the game in the next half inning anyway so I didnt need to replace my only catcher. But it was still a BS call.)

And what is Gils insistence on PLAYING this guy anyway?? Jesus, put someone else in already! Dont you have 4 other pitchers at least?? I’m starting to think Gil is in cahoots with Mr. Hamm, secretly giving Gregg more PT to help some unknown cause that we dont even have privy to yet.

Because this makes less sense every day. Thank god the ump sees right through this charade. Throw em all out Blue!!

Oh yeah, Heather is transcribing the action. Whats her take on this?

June 3, 2022

Ryne Duren? What a quack.

Filed under: ?, baseball, general nonsense, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 9:27 pm

This guy Gregg Hamm just wont give up will he? Its now June 3, folks. Graduation has come and gone, and at this rate we’ll be blowing off fireworks before this dude figures out his pitching days are over. Just give it up already and get help for your eyes while you can still read the E on the eye chart.

And did he forget he only pitches every 4th or 5th game anyway? This whole storyline has fallen off the tracks, and we still havent gotten to the bottom of the Dad Scared to be in Photos mystery, and the dual wives (hey I’ll take the blond in a heartbeat) plus the softball season. I knew they wernt gonna cover tennis. All for dicking around about playing with bad eyes.

Ryne Duren https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryne_Duren

was a borderline major league pitcher who wore thick glasses (like I used to) to help him see. Well Gregg already wears glasses so we crossed that off the list. Ryne apparently saw better with frames then Gregg, because he got to the big leagues. I have no idea what Cloris has in mind fixing Greggs problem with Ryne Duren, since Ryne went to the grave in 2011. Is she saying throw so wild that the opposition gets scared to face him? Again, we dance around the real problem. The ducks in P1 are leaving the scene of this storyline in search of smarter humans.

May 27, 2022

Solution rejected

Filed under: ?, baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 4:09 pm

So Gil comes up with — a helmet to wear so Greg is safe from lasers coming at him. Well thats just great. No worries about fixing his eyesight– its all about the pitching experience that will be done after this season.

Have to say its more then I thought they’d do. I felt for sure Gil would just say hey, you’re a liability on the field and if you are permanently disabled by a baseball, its not our fault, since we let you play against our will. Wait a minute, that doenst make any sense.

Dont all athletes sign a waiver like that before the season? Basically stating that the school isnt at fault for medical issues that may arise in the course of playing said sport?? Who knows how Gregg got this far in the first place, especially since he had a known condition for YEARS!!!@!

How did he even pass the physical at seasons start? Again, we know he memorized the eye chart or whatever, but for the life of me I cant imagine how this situation got to this point. And now Gil comes up with a kokomimi solution that may protect the school from any lawsuits, but seriously isnt in the best interests of the individual.

And isnt that Job Number One of every school? Safety of the students?

So back to the story– Gregg refuses the mask and now faces the choice of watching from the bench or playing with a mask. Gil always figures out the best solution long after the cows have left the barn.

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