This Week in Milford

May 13, 2022

More blind advice

Filed under: ?, baseball, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 8:34 pm

Well we got through another game with One- Eyed Jack fumbling around with balls hit to him; we have a new hero in Andy Morrison, whose name is so common I didnt bother googling him. Suffice to say he’s not Jim’s son. Although he could have been. (You figure he was born around 2005, Jim would have been 62 that year and Mick Jagger was 74 when he had his last kid 4 years ago. So its…possible…)

These guys wearing jeans — most baseball players wear athletic pants to their games. If not their uniforms. Im sure I saw our high school team on the road more then once and they wore their uniforms to the games. Damn it, they didnt retreat to a locker room after the game— they went from the bus to the dugout and back. Its not football. Baseball uniforms are very normal attire for a day. Whats with all the changing clothes anyway for a baseball game?? Where are all the uniforms? In their dinky backpacks?

And P3 we have One- Eyed Jack hoping Gil doesnt make him work on something in practice THAT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WORKING ON SINCE FREAKIN DAY ONE OF SPRING PRACTICE FOR AT LEAST A HALF HOUR EACH DAY. That way Gil could have figured out this dope cant see a drop of bird shit on home plate until he slips on it.

And of course Stat Boy has another brilliant idea to delay the inevitable reveal of OEJ’s vision problem. We’ll get a glimpse (no pun intended) of that tomorrow.

By then everyones uniform will have shrunk 2 sizes on the bus ride home.

April 23, 2022

Blind mans bluff

A quick review of the weeks strips ( I was out in Tucson all week on a golf /swimming / sightseeing / spring break vacation) and its astonishing how Gregg Hamm is getting through life the way he is.

I had terrible eyesight as a kid too, and wound up getting Lasik in 2001 with corrrection to 20/30 thats now about 20/40. But I merely had astigmatism, and it seems Gregg here is basically half blind even WITH glasses. One of the many things I learned out in the valley of the sun was that bats arent blind– they actually see very well, and also listen to vibrations in the air to detect predators.

As I said before, I cant imagine how Gregg is a pitcher even with a catcher who knows him, as part of the duty of pitching is defending your own position, and hey, if a rocket comes back at him, how can he see it fast enough? Ok, maybe it doesnt matter how well you see sometimes; as we’ve all seen pitchers knocked down by batted balls. But he has many other things to do besides pitch every 4 days in spring. You need your eyes 365 days a year.

No idea what the hell that is on P1, (just figured it out, I thought it was something they had at the field to make noise, and the girl was the DJ)

Then there’s P3. A pink clad pitcher, throwing to a pink clad batter, with a red clad catcher, and there’s Gregg standing right behind the batter thinking about his fastball that may come right back at him in a millisecond. I need help here– and just getting back home I’m not ready to think that much. Have at it gang!

April 15, 2022

Brief insanity

Filed under: ?, baseball, Milford Idiots, shadow figures — robmize2013 @ 5:23 pm

The cart is falling off the tracks and it didnt take long either. Seems we just kicked off a new storyline and already we have complete nonsense in how to handle a simple problem.

I figured Scooter was gonna read the signals and then relay them to his semi-blind pitcher. Yeah that’ll work. Theyre now so moronic that we bloggers have em figured out 9 ways to Sunday.

Storytime– back in 1969 the Cubs were playing in Philadelphia still hanging on to 1st place late in the season. As the story goes, the Cub reliever brought into the game had been talking to Ron Santo the 3B some time ago about if there was a man on 3rd, Santo would give a private signal and they would pick the man off. Only problem was, Santo didnt remember the conversation, and when he yelled the very word that was to trigger the throw, he wasnt on the base, and the pitcher threw the ball into the outfield, resulting in the game winning run scoring. I dont have all the details, but thats the gist of it.

So thats what could happen when you try this kind of crap, instead of doing the simple thing and getting better glasses for the pitcher. Jesus, these guys would put rocks to shame theyre so dumb.

January 28, 2022

Landry Confusion

Filed under: ?, actual action, basketball, Colorist Error, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 8:49 pm

Some exciting girls hoops action results in a Milford win even though they act like theyre behind forcing a bad shot that misses so they win. Who plays for who? Does Landry Carlson play for Valley Tech? Who has all-purple uniforms anyway? What kinda shot is that in P2 that rockets off the backboard so hard it misses the rim completely? I remember throwing a ball off the backboard in that manner so I could catch it and dunk it at my neighbors 7-foot rim. But thats a pretty weak effort for a last shot, even though its meaningless in context since they were ahead anyway. Does the strip writer even read his own dialogue?

P3- back on the bus as all’s well that ends well– why would someone have toaster tarts after a game like that? Dont they have to be heated or something? Funny how Cressa who got beat on the baseline is wearing the same color jacket as her uniform. Maybe Carlson plays for Milford and on defense forced a wild shot? Ah, thats it. But confusing nonetheless.

And how is Milford wearing purple and the opponent dressed like they usually dress??

I’m running out of question allotment. Fire away with your answers gang!

November 26, 2021

Stuff this team in the turkey

Headin’ out to San Milfordo
For the Labor Day bonfire show
I got my Hush Puppies on
I guess I never was meant for gymna-volleyball.
And Gildo I didnt know – that I’d be missin you so..

Come Monday, it’ll be all right
Come Monday, we’ll be losin the fight
I spent four lonely days in a hypnotic haze
And I want Spiller out of my sight…

Yes, it’s been quite a summer
Racing cars and golfing pain.
And now you’re off on vacation
Something you can never explain.
And, Gildo since I gotta go
That’s the reason I’m not gonna throw…

Come Monday, it’ll be all right
Come Monday, I’ll be pickin a fight
I spent four freakin days with A. Simpkins from State

and I just want this crap to subside..

October 22, 2021

This plot is sleep-inducing

Filed under: ?, Milford Idiots — robmize2013 @ 7:28 pm

Oh Boyd you hypnotist you. I have no idea how Tevin will be a better running back after this. Most likely he will be temporarily blinded by all that light.

I actually had to look at a light like that when I had LASIK surgery 20 years ago. It was to help keep my focus straight ahead and not move my pupil while my cornea was being reshaped by the light. I’m sure this experiment will not produce that kind of result. But we wont find out til tomorrow or the next game, whichever comes first. Also Boyd may take all the credit if Tevin plays better or doesnt fumble. Talk about fixing what aint broke.

August 13, 2021

Now I AM confused

I have to say this golf story is really spinning out of control. First Mimi has to change into formal sweatpants which frankly Ive never heard of. Leave that midriff-baring outfit on; its a Woman coming over for Pete’s sake! Of course Heather also changes out of her sleeveless top, so theyre even.

Next Heather reveals her investigation into Carter, which in itself is rather meaningless. Why she cares whether he cheats at golf is the question. I thought she was trying to find a real career, not moonlight at the National Enquirer.

Tabloid newspapers are not as dangerous to democracy as social media

She’s basing her allegation of his cheating on.. the rain storm? Boy thats a new one. Again, I cant wait for more info tomorrow when she connects the dots, cuz I sure dont have a clue what the hell rain has to do with cheating, because they wernt even gambling in the first place, and his score was as Ive pointed out, very typical of a 12 handicapper.

And we sure dont have enough info to convict him either, based on the strips. So its gonna be some cockamimi reason she comes up with that I’ll bet lands her a position at the Milford Star, and everyone goes home happy, and we move on to football.

If thats the case, this golf story gets a triple bogey on my card.

May 21, 2021

The race is on. Oh my.

So Marjie Ducey decides to call Zane and ask him about the library board race?! Didnt we go over this before, where she interviewed a player without parental permission? I cant believe this ‘race’ between a student and an adult for a position on the library board warrants her attention first of all, and secondly calling both him and Brito to ask about their opinions of the other person! When did she become the political reporter here? Sports Marjie, sports. Stick to that stuff. But its a comic strip, which always explains everything.

Zanes girlfriend is looking like Moe Howard with that hairdo.

Then just like that its printed in the paper for all to see. Does Gil even KNOW one of his own players is gonna be distracted by running for an office, then if he wins, by being on the board while playing baseball? Talk about a can of worms. And summers right around the corner; does this position take effect next school year? Or immediately?

Dick Enberg just turned over in his grave. Oh my!

And their arguments about each other are both hooey. Marjie just took their word for it? Are there any editors at that paper or what?

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