This Week in Milford

October 15, 2021

Close only counts in car washes

Filed under: actual action, football — robmize2013 @ 9:39 pm

More football action as Spiller worries about Claxtons emotional status after a pick. Claxton in typical confident QB response assures him it was almost a completion. Hey, if almost counted that often, the cheerleaders could play.

Of course we never see what the defense did, but who cares? Chance Macy is off to the races, with 2 defenders wondering where the hell the rest of the team is at. If I had that kind of room I’d look good too.

I think I’d tell Boyd to shut up about every little thing and worry about his game.

October 13, 2021

Anywhere’s Better Than Delware

Filed under: actual action, Colorist Error, football, Goshen — teenchy @ 7:49 am

Well this is a bit of a cluster, innit?

Besides the obvious spelling and naming errors in P3, we also have a Milford player colored as a Goshen player at the bottom of the pile. Don’t think so? Look at the dark numbers on his back. Faithful TWIMer hitorque noted yesterday that no teams in the Thorpiverse ever wear white uniforms. I think that when Whigham draws these strips in black & white, he intends the teams with dark numbers on their jerseys to be in white. There have been a few color-on-color games in college and pro football in the recent past (the WLOCP comes to mind along with those NFL “Color Rush” games) but, with a few exceptions for the red/green colorblind, most provide enough contrast to tell the teams apart.

Good thing that Delware T-Wing is clicking. Odds are it’d click even better if Milford had more than ten men on the field.

Then they might not only be in sync but also able to move in one direction.

Post title from the occasional live lyrics to this song. Couldn’t find a clip meeting those criteria so here’s the original.

October 11, 2021

Goshen Time. Sorry, No Song For That.

Filed under: actual action, football, shadow figures — nedryerson @ 5:57 am

Look, The Great Chance Macy doesn’t want to talk about college and which programs might or might not be recruiting him. If he wants to you to know what he envisions as his future in athletics, he’ll tell you. At this moment, he’s concentrating on the next game against Goshen, so back off, Tevin. Also, check out that shadow person! It could be one of those creepy horror movie nuns! Halloween is approaching. Is Rubin gonna go John Carpenter on us? Of course not. Nothing exciting will happen. It’s just more dithering high school students.

Let’s get to the action, shall we? Goshen is in Carolina Blue unis, just like the last opponent. Can you imagine how nerdy the colorists would have to be to maintain a coloring bible for the different Valley Conference teams? Of course they wouldn’t do that. It’s enough for them to interpret the narration correctly and keep not male everybody red.

Goshen’s ball carrier is levitating over the goal line for a score. Why he was diving for the pylon, we can’t know. Goshen jumped on top. Will the Great Chance Macy go beast mode and power the Mudlarks. Nobody cares.

Happy Columbus Day.

October 4, 2021

Spiller Pokes The Choker

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 3:27 am

This concludes the second game of the season at Kettering. Kettering tried to get fancy with a sweep but there was the games unsung hero, Steve Lehto, again to sniff it out and finish off the drive that had just started on the recovery of QB Tevin Claxton’s fumble. Marty Moon finishes doing something (opening a pill bottle?) while he concludes his broadcast to three listeners.

After the game, the real drama resumes. Tevin Claxton had a history of choking in JV, or so we heard earlier from Boyd Spiller. It looks like ol’ Boyd is there to remind Tevin of this and needle his quarterback about his almost costly fumble in this game. Well done, Boyd. You’ve solidified your role as this season a-hole newcomer.

Heather Burns Twitter feed has remained silent. Maybe she’s only going to work home games. Who needs a media strategy?

October 2, 2021

Actual Action Saturday

Filed under: actual action, football, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 7:42 am

You wanted actual action, you got actual action! We’re down to the wire at Kettering. We pick up the action with a curious panel of a Pioneer with his feet out of bounds, with his hips and shoulders sort of squared to the sideline, facing the center of the field. How did he get there? What led up to that? Was he moon walking with the ball to egg on the Milford player? Is this on the same play as the fumble or is it on a Kettering offensive possession after the fumble? We don’t know. We can’t know. It’s static sports action and at least the colors are correct.

Marty Moon calls the action. There are 62 seconds to play and Kettering is knocking on the door. None of the windows open on Marty’s laptop have any porn on them as far as we can see, but maybe some of those are his Valley Conference fantasy league stats. Man, it’s getting harder and harder to be interested in Marty Moon lately. I thought he was gonna hulk out yesterday, but he’s just a dude in a crate with a laptop and a microphone. True tales from Snoozeville.

The Kettering Pioneers are running the ball. The Milford defender looks sad. Does he have a shot at a tackle or is he flat footed and out of position as the Pioneer whizzes past? Don’t know. Is paydirt in sight or is the Pioneer about to encounter actual contact? I’ll tell you more on Monday when one presumes we’ll know something.

This strip was a disappointment. It gave me nothing to chew on except confusion about the drawings and boredom with meek Marty. But it’s Saturday and I’m not in my usual Monday morning hurry to post something and turn my attention to the grueling hellscape that is my forty hour work week. What shall we talk about?

I used the word paydirt. It’s a curious old term with origins in prospecting for precious metals, but it became associated with football at some point, representing the idea of the rich reward waiting in the grass beyond the goal line. When I was a kid, there was a football game called Paydirt! that I remember from toy stores. I never knew what the game entailed, but it looked enticing with a Sports Illustrated style dramatic photo on the cover. Perhaps it was something cooler than those disappointing electric football games if you wanted to get your fix of football for the six days a week you couldn’t watch football. It turns out it was more of a stats driven game like strat-o-matic baseball. That probably wouldn’t have thrilled me as a ten year old. Paydirt! sounds like a lot more fun than Data Driven Football. That’s some Marketing 101. In retrospect, there was probably some Parenting 101 involved if I ever expressed an interest in this game. If I ever asked about getting it, I’m sure my dad could have quickly assessed that this game would bore me in about 62 seconds and that a Nerf football was a much better return on investment.

Anybody ever play Paydirt!?

October 1, 2021

But of course

Filed under: actual action, football, freak hands, Marty Moon — robmize2013 @ 9:15 pm

First off thanks again to Teenchy for filling in while I was camping in bear country last weekend. Upper Michigan is a beautiful sight this time of year with the changing leaves, and the weather was even more calm then last year.

Back to the game– Gil is managing to blow this lead as we figured, as Tevin only has 1 hand on the rock as its punched away a la Peanut Tillman in his Bear heyday. Whatever that glove is on Claxtons hand, it isnt sticky enough to hold the ball. Safe and smart all right Gil. Its been a fairly close game, and no matter what formation you run, whether its the Delaware Hens or the Baltimore Chop, you still need TWO hands on the ball when running out the clock. And in an evenly matched contest, ‘a few first downs’ on 1 drive is almost impossible. Gildo acts like its routine. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool Gil 20 times, ….. he comes back for more.

September 29, 2021

Sympathy for the Waning Moon

Time for the annual f-t-f pissing match between Gil and Marty. Marty asks a legit question of Gil and gets a pissy backhanded insult in return. Sure, Gil wins this one on paper, but come game time he might be singing a different tune.

Marty is absolutely not wrong in putting this question to Gil. Thorp started running his Delaware Wing-T again last season, and is still running it this season. He’s surprising exactly nobody with it. There are a plethora of YouTube videos on how to defend against the Wing-T, many of them quite lengthy. Here’s one of the briefest for your perusal.

A team that is regularly exposed to a Wing-T offense (as Kettering supposedly has been) will be better prepared to defend against it, even if it is “a little different,” as Gil claims. In this case “a little different” looks like it’ll translate into “a passing game where our receivers don’t look the ball into their hands.”

Kettering was a Detroit high school in a very tough neighborhood. It was closed about ten years ago due to declining attendance, a crumbling physical plant, low academic performance, and gang activity. The former Kettering site, first re-imagined as an urban farm, is now going to become a manufacturing plant for an auto parts supplier. As a shout-out to a Detroit long past, how will Rubin reimagine the Kettering team? Urban tough guys or something else?

In the grander scheme of things, we can see Marty becoming ever more irrelevant on the Mudlark sports reporting scene. Heather’s quick thumbs can spew out tweets as fast as he can call play-by-play, providing the analysis in real time that he might otherwise have to do between snaps. Having also been Gil’s protégé, Heather has the inside line to locker room scoops that Marty never will. Since he’s lost the journalistic high ground, Marty should have free reign to wallow deeper in the Milford mud. He can begin on Friday night into Saturday morning once Kettering has shut down Gil’s predictable old-school offense.

September 20, 2021

Call It Milford Blue

Filed under: actual action, Colorist Error, football, Oakwood — nedryerson @ 3:20 am

More Oakwood action!

Tevin Claxton’s throwing motion looks a little odd. The Milford helmet behind him is also odd. It turned Oakwood Blue. I guess someone defected because they didn’t like sloppy joes and cleaning up after massive bonfires (of inanity).

As Gil predicted, it’s turning into the Chance Macy Show. He’s got a receiving touchdown and is breaking loose for a long punt return. It’s probably a score, but we’ll find out more tomorrow.

This blistering pace is wearing me out. I think I’ll go back to bed.

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