This Week in Milford

February 20, 2021

Some Wak! Haiku

Tom Muench on the bench

And Doug Guthrie off his game:

Central by thirteen

But it’s not a bench

It’s only a folding chair

Thanks to budget cuts

“Everything happens

For a reason” – Grandma Muench

Like ankle sprains

Anytime Doug makes

Car-related decisions

Mudlarks always lose

Vic Doucette could see

Doug was no Schumi when he

Smacked him on the ass

Clearly Doug isn’t

Firing on all cylinders

He needs a tuneup

Gil needs to send him

To a garage upstate where

He can drive all day

February 13, 2021

Hey roadhog, ease up!

***THIS IS THE FRIDAY POST****

Only in Milford can it snow on a clear blue day. But Doug is still speeding, and the cop pulls him over. Hey, if my car took up the whole road and no one else was on it, I’d pay no attention to the speedometer either. And apparently the cop knows him well enough that he addresses Doug by name without asking for his license. Yes its just a friendly warning, but if I’m Tom I’m a little nervous that Doug converses with policemen on a regular basis. In other words, he speeds regularly in his GTO, on or off the racetrack.

P2 the 2 boys seem way closer to each other then should be normal in a car like that. Obviously Doug couldnt pay for extra width in his 2nd car.

The cop not only has on a tie, which I never see on cops around here, but his outfit is a bit colorful for a policemans; he looks like he’s ready to enter a race himself. All he needs is a Pennzoil label above his breast pocket and he’s good to go.

December 11, 2020

Aliens landing

Cant believe a whole week later and I’m AGAIN describing the last game of the season. Like shooting a dead horse to put it out of its misery, the Larks manage to run out the clock instead of risking a heroic pass like Dickhead Lineman suggests in the huddle. But they take so long to end the season that alien ships have time to get to earth and pull them all into orbit, never to be seen again.

If you think I’ll miss these morons, you got another one coming. Good riddance. Hope they took Gil with em too. Hows that Delaware T gonna look on Mars, Gildo??

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