This Week in Milford

March 9, 2018

Its not gonna work

Filed under: basketball, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon, Steve Luhm's Ghost Mops These Floors — robmize2013 @ 8:31 pm

Marty appeals to Gil to stop the shenanagans behind him so he can do his broadcast in peace and quiet. Where’s his analyst by the way? Paul Strange? It would help if he had a partner in crime so to speak, or even a sound man. Dont most radio broadcasts need several people to make it work from a remote location like a basketball arena?  Is Marty really doing this alone? If so how? Any radio experts out there who can help? I’ve been in the stands and seen people doing radio broadcasts up high in the stands (also High School Cube works like this).

How about 3 panels that not only move the plot along, they make sense. A completely normal exchange given the situation. Marty could ask the PA announcer or the school officials to quiet the students, but pretty much anything goes at these games unless it gets physical. Chanting and group demonstrations in the stands are pretty much ok. I think Marty will have to deal with this between games. He may want to move his location to another part of the arena next time, but it may not work. Good stuff for a change!


March 8, 2018

Join In the Chant


I love it that Paloma’s all up in Marty’s grill; too bad Exploding Spittle Syndrome is not a thing. Still I’m a little disappointed in the chant. “Muzzle Marty” is a four-syllable phrase. Why aren’t the protesters using the “clap clap clap-clap-clap” cadence? You’d think they know it since “Mudlarks” is a two-syllable nickname.

Raised fists make for good visuals but they can’t be heard on the radio. Maybe since they’re not in the cheap seats they think they can just rattle their jewelry.

What four-syllable chant would you have the Milford crowd do? Keeping it clean so WDIG doesn’t pull the plug (although Marty’s think-skinned ass may just do it for spite, the station manager may think any ratings are good ratings). “Fuck you Marty” or “Un pendejo” are right out.

Inspiration for today’s post title:


March 5, 2018

15 Fans And What Do You Get?

Filed under: basketball, huge earrings — nedryerson @ 6:46 am


Well, I don’t know about you, but today’s strip has inspired me. I am ready to rock!

The first panel is actually visually arresting. I don’t know if it’s the geometrical precision or the use of negative space or what, but it sets the tone nicely. I would like to point out that the rise of the bleachers seems a bit too gradual for your standard high school gymnasium. It’s a shame, because given where we’re headed here, the closer we have multiple rows of people packed behind the scorer’s table, the more this scenario could turn into Thunderdome.

Duncan Levin seems to be leading the way. Good work saving seats (that nobody seems interested in to begin with) Duncan. He managed to shoo everybody away from those primo seats until tip off, so Paloma and Karina just shuffle in and take their places. Seems a little casual, but that’s why they keep Duncan around.

Milford is up early and the game begins! I’d love to go back to that wide perspective of the first panel and see all seats empty except for a cluster of people behind Marty breathing down his neck and listening intently to see what he’s saying.


March 3, 2018

Mo’ Better Lady Mudlarks


And what happened, then? Well, in Milford they say – that Karina’s small nose grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Milford came through, and Karina found strength of *ten* Marties, plus two!

Come on, Chief, stay on model! Saturday’s cliffhanger leaves us wondering how the Lady Mudlarks will protest Marty Moon at the Milford boys’ game and how of-of-sync with today’s realities that protest will be. Rather than speculate on that, I’ll focus on the little details that keep us coming back for more:

P1: Paloma’s super freaky giant left hand (no wonder that phone looked so tiny when she held it) is par for the course, but I must say I appreciate how Whigham has drawn the girls’ hair. Such shine and volume! Breck Girl Darwin would be proud.

P2: Karina comes not only with a giant schnozz but also with pre-skinned knuckles.

P3: We never saw the end of the Milford @ Jefferson game but we know now that the Mudlarks lost. No burritos for Jorge, then?  That might explain the fridge raid and the fridge-side pizza menu.

PP2-3: Karina’s and Paloma’s upper lips remind me of the top half of the old Hartford Whalers logo. Gives me a great excuse to fire up some “Brass Bonanza.”

†Happy belated birthday T. S. Geisel!

March 2, 2018

I smell a protest

Filed under: basketball, Marty Moon — robmize2013 @ 8:31 pm

So what appears to be happening is the girls basketball team will gather somewhat en masse at the next boys basketball game to chant “Marty Sucks!” or something of that nature. Led by Jadine, or perhaps the brunette big haired girl, they will sport signs, bugels, and other paraphanalia all in the name of stopping Marty from referring to Primo (remember that name from way back? Last month?) in a derogatory way, or so they think. Yeah now he goes by Jorge but whatever..

Here’s what I think: Hardly anybody gives a flying fuck what some dude on a local high school radio station says. High school kids these days havent listened to the radio more then 5 minutes a day since the Iphone became a thing. They have music streamed into their earbuds as they text away and Snapchat photos of the latest Justin Beiber sighting to each other before the latest Facebook update. Who’s got time to sit on a bed in your house and listen to a radio and do…. NOTHING ELSE???

I think we traveled this road before some years back when some new Milford athlete   had some fans dressed up with big hats of some kind in the stands and creating a ruckus at a road game. Need help with those details…

At least we have a storyline that isnt entirely populated by idiots; but its so unrealistic in this day and age to pull off a stunt like the one the girls are planning. And believe me, Marty wont change a bit. But the girls think otherwise. Stay tuned!!

March 1, 2018

¿Por qué Marty?


Ya know, Rubin could be selling this “Marty drops Mexican references into his broadcast to woo That New Mexican Restaurant as a sponsor” thing a little better if he wove the name drops into Marty’s play-by-play a little better. For example, Wednesday’s strip would’ve been more convincing if he had Marty say “Padilla earned his burritos with that one. He’ll love the burritos at Los Morenos – and you will too!” It’d work a little better still if his Mexican references were about things that people actually ate.

Between the bracelets, earrings, pissy faces, enormous freak hand, and use of the term “ease up,” P2 nearly achieves Peak Milford solely through its visuals.  What puts it over the top is the assumption that Paloma is using her tiny pack of Virginia Slims phone to dial up WDIG at night to complain about Marty rather than to light up social media (which, again, only Golden Child True Standish and his QB posse had any inkling of how to use). If this resembled reality in any way, shape or form, by the end of the game Marty would be subject to a tweetstorm of hurricane-like proportions. This arc would resemble reality a bit more closely if the Padilla sibs hadn’t assimilated so smoothly, too. Milford isn’t Amish country; it only seems that way sometimes.



February 28, 2018

Somehow, I Don’t Think This Is Helping Ad Sales

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Chunky Bracelets, freak hands, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 11:21 am


So, you’re a manager or perhaps the owner of Los Morenos restaurant, the new (and probably only) Tex-Mex restaurant in Milford if you don’t count Taco Bell. You’ve been told by the incessant sales guy who only orders shots of bottom shelf tequila and eats a LOT of free chips and salsas to tune into the game. What’s going through your head in panel one?

Meanwhile, we get an interesting reaction shot in panel two as we see that Paloma has nearly fully assimilated into her new hometown, chunky bracelets, exploding eyeballs, freak hands and all.

Panel three has my full attention, although I’m not quite sure about number 31’s defensive technique there. Is he about to hammer Jorge* number 50 in the back of his neck with an elbow? It’s been a pretty chippy game from what we’ve seen so far.

Bonus points: I’m trying to decide what Whigham was going for on that logo in panel two. My guess?

Dove Icecream bar

Also, I like how Paloma is doing kind of a reverse Vulcan salute with her left hand.

* Further research (no, I don’t know what is wrong with me that I researched this) reveals that Jorge is number 33.

February 27, 2018

I’ve Been in the Station with a Man With No Name, It Felt Good to Just Soak in the Fame.

Filed under: actual action, basketball, big arms, Marty Moon, Milford Idiots — tdrewhardin @ 4:45 am


Aaaaaaaaaaaaa, your mother puts soy sauce on her refried beans!!!!!!! Boy, gang, that felt good. I am pumped like Marty to catapult some more mud at Georgie, The Dove(thank God she ran for cover to her tent in her backyard), Krusty’s niece, Ernie, and whoever else attempts to play King of the Hill on the playground at recess with the WDIG god himself, under the pretext of political correctness. So Jorge had nothing to do with this back-and-forth melee. Who cares? Mudslinging takes no prisoners.

I’m beating this in the ground, I realize but Anonymous Calculus Dude a/k/a Herb Tarlek (as duly noted by Ned, good one, BTW, I’d forgotten about WKRP and glad you brought it up) is beginning to worry me. He’s not just passing through, briefcase in hand, returning to Levittown on the planet Oblivion after conversing with a Thorpiverse main character, such as Marty Moon. No, he’s got his own coffee mug with the WDIG Good Housekeeping Seal IN HIS OWN OFFICE!!!!!!!!!! How’d he swing THAT by Marty? Usually they come out of the walls when the janitor’s closet is locked but noooooooooo, Herb is evidently livin’ large in his own corner of the world, with a view of the WDIG Hall of Fame on top of that.  What’s his secret? Are pinstripes and Gucci shoes on the horizon? Lexus for the company car? Don’t have to fill out a W-2 form every time he appears in the strip? Next thing ya know, he’ll have his own Mr. Coffee and won’t have to sneak a brew or two out of Marty’s office. The price of moving up in the corporate ladder. Things take time.

And you whippersnappers are in for a treat as Sister Mary Elephant returns to Milford. Let’s listen.

“Okay, classsss, classssss, be quiet, class, classsssss, SHUT UPPP!!!!!!!! Thank you. Okay, class, your homework assignment is   a 1000-word essay, ‘How I spent my weekend in my backyard’. I want it typed and double-spaced, 8 1/2 x 11 stenographic sheets, use good grammar and punctuation, due on Monday”

“Oh, no way, Sister. Man, all I ever do in my backyard is smoke reefers in my tent, eat Twinkies and Beanie Weenies, wash it down with a Yoo-hoo, and listen to Marty Moon run down all us Puerto Rican’s.  I mean, he’s a prick. You expect me to write 1000 words about that moron?”

“Now, claassssss, I know you got it in you. One of you might be the next Thackeray.”  “Say who???”


“Sister, I don’t know about this Jackie Ray or Jack a Train, or whatever, but if he’s like ol’ Marty, I’m gonna punch his lights out.”

“Now, claassssss, be creative, use some poetry, it doesn’t have to be cold writing. Show some feeling!!!!!!”

“Sister, I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Look out, Anonymous Calculus Dude

’cause I done peed on your shoes.”

And why do we have to have a basketball game, literally in the middle of the strip, when the Gladitorial stage of the mudslinging is just heating up? Do you pull the refried beans out of the microwave well before the beeper says “Done”? Why can’t we just skip it, heck, we’ve relegated basketball(football, baseball, lacrosse, hockey, etc.) to second class anyway, and just beeline to THE MAIN EVENT!!!!!!! C’mon, Thorpiverse, I was beginning to get interested and Jorge drives for a layup, of all things.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa, your mother drives a Bueno Product truck when she’s on vacation to the Smokies!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! Score another one!!!!!!!!!!!! If I get good enough, I’ll be on the Hall of Fame wall for sure, right between Herb and Marty. Mudslinging is not for the faint of heart. If you want to be on the porch with the big dogs, ya gotta suck it in.

If ya have had yore fill of the Krabmeat Enchilada and ya get the El Nopal Super-Size Doggie Bag ta take home ta feed yore bloodhounds, further validating the term “doggie bag”, and then proceed to sprinkle  some White Queso Sauce on yore Schlitz later on while watching Dallas in yore recliner chair, ya might be a redneck.

Today’s headline in the Milford Enquirer

“Moon in Hot Water over Gaffe with Milford El Nopal!!!!!!!!!!”

sub head line.

“What’s the big deal? I complained to the waiter that there was half a roach in the Quesadilla Fajita del Pollo and this jackass reporter in the next booth starts typing.”

My final (reluctantly speaking) installment in Black History Month is Arthur Crudup, a very talented Bluesman, noted for writing excellent Blues standards, such as “Mean Old ‘Frisco Blues'”, “So Glad You’re Mine”, “My Baby Left Me”, and “That’s All Right”. The last one was famously recorded by Elvis Presley and became a smash hit. I am angered and outraged that he did not get just financial compensation for his music. In fact, he wound up in later life working as a barge worker, all the while suing the companies that took him to the cleaners. He died in 1974, litigation still in the works. Please spread the word about a man who deserved better.  Love your music, Big Guy.

Racism can be eliminated when we realize we can’t do everything but we can do SOMETHING. If EVERYBODY would do SOMETHING, hate becomes a thing of the past. We can then look forward with hope.

Gang, it’s your turn. I’ll be reading some more “2000 More Insults” if you need me. Gotta stay sharp.

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