This Week in Milford

November 18, 2020

I’m Just Saying, But Did Milford Cover the Spread?

All action – well, almost all action – today as Milford dominates Tilden. Tom “Don’t Call Me Butt” Muench is all over the field, stripping oversized footballs and causing Theismannesque leg injuries.* Chance Macy, perhaps the most realistically drawn player we’ve seen in some time**, racks up the yardage and probably scores some points. Quick cut to the sidelines where a lineman who appears to be part flounder makes an aside to a young Sylvester Stallone that maybe the Mudlarks should have run up the score.

The Chekhov’s guns left strewn about over the past few strips are leading us to a logical conclusion that the Valley title will boil down to point differential. Either out of a sense of sportsmanship or of continued punishment, Gil will keep Stallone Rappson on the bench when his free-wheeling style of play would be more likely to help Milford obtain those margins of victory necessary to win the Valley. Someone will have learned a lesson, though I’m not sure who will learn it or how valuable that lesson will be.

In any event, it’s more entertaining than watching Corinna be a bitch to everyone she meets.

*Thirty-five years ago today. What a coincidence.

**Sticking with the NFC East theme, whenever I see a running back wearing #31 and an OPO-DW style face mask my mind goes immediately to Wilbert Montgomery.

May 15, 2020

Dont give up. Dont ever give up.

Ah, the words of Jimmie Valvano at the ESPYs when he was dying of cancer back in the 90’s. He wasnt one of my favorite coaches (and if you read the excellent book Personal Fouls https://www.amazon.com/Personal-Fouls-Promises-Shattered-Basketball/dp/0881845264 you’ll see an even seedier side) but in the end he had everyones sympathy for his handling of terminal cancer that took his life way too soon.

 

 

Mike’s mom wants to fight the good fight for her son understandably, but the time frame for this is fuzzy. Its May 15. Im not sure what grade Mike is in, but if he’s a senior, forget it. Heck even if he’s a junior, by the time any court hears this and renders a positive decision, school will be out for summer.

So Mikes dad sees the lawyer and she recommends appealing to the school board. Why cant this be done without seeing her? Lawyers arent cheap you know. Besides wasting a panel (and God knows we’ve blown a shitload of them on repeating statements) all we get is a rehashing of facts already known. He meant no harm, and the schools policy is zero tolerance. Thank you sir may I have another.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIZoVO8ZyyQ

So at this rate we may be in court all summer. Or at least til the 4th of July. By then I’ll be able to get a haircut in my state and even eat at a restaurant.

PROGRAM NOTE: I will be taking a long-overdue vacation next weekend camping and kayaking. So I’m leaving the Mayors whereabouts to whoever wants to fill in next Friday. See you all in 2 weeks.

 

 

 

April 22, 2020

Watch Out for That Tree!

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“I’m halfway to a smoothie, Muench. Now all you gotta do is hit some potholes. Oh, and watch out for that tree.”

 

Are you as sick of The Mayor’s breakfast surprises as I already am? Of course you are. I’m still waiting for some sort of elaboration as to why this is an important plot device. We’ve had little if any indication of Knappe household dysfunction which might manifest itself in Mike’s choice of breakfast items and delivery system. For the moment I’m willing to chalk it up as another facet of his narcissistic personality.

Interesting details on display in the Muenchmobile today. The duct taped driver’s seat bolster is a nice touch of realism and reinforces the notion that kids in the Valley drive beaters. The slabs for sun visors are curious, though: what’s holding them in place in the center? And how are those Post-its staying stuck to them?

Questions to be answered another time as we quick cut to the Milford diamond for the conference opener vs. the yet to be named Valley rival. Celebrity cameo in P3 as Tom Berenger sheds the tools of ignorance to take some practice in the field. Tom’s got some odd follow-through on that throw; with a splayed hand like that he must be tossing a Wiffleball.

June 28, 2019

When your name is a Case why not marry one?

Filed under: bizarre cameos, Gil Thorp, golf, Milford Alumni — robmize2013 @ 4:52 pm

Boy nothings changed in 14 years — who the hell calls people by their full (including middle initial) name?? Just say -Hadley!! Good to see you! Just weird. Does Jaquan have a middle initial? Why not use that too?

Hadley says Jaquan has already seen her hometown. What the hell does that have to do with anything? First, he saw it last summer didnt he? When his overpaid trainor wound up observing him working with Heather Burns on football moves after he was supposed to be training for the NBA? Maybe Hadley moved away since then which is fine, but why does he have to move to her location instead of vice versa? If he wants to play pro ball, they should move to the city he plays in right?

What if he hates her hometown? There’s a town near me called Rockdale. It literally stinks. I mean it smells bad everywhere for whatever reason. What if she lives there? He’ll need a lifetime supply of nose clips to go outside.

https://www.rockdalenewtoncitizen.com/news/local/rwr-working-on-wastewater-smell-in-north-rockdale/article_491db2c5-5720-5ed5-a049-ae7ba823ed41.html

Just laying the groundwork for the next storyline but these 2 are an odd couple so far. Maybe they’ll help Gil teach golf to midgets. At least theyre not too cool for school.

 

June 12, 2019

Soon It Won’t Matter Anymore

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Called it, I think. Mimi’s weak-assed reverse psychology is about to claim an innocent victim. I half expect that David will reveal an ulterior motive for casting FUD in Linda’s head because reasons.

Style points for Linda for breaking up in person a/o/t the ghosting referred to in the comments to the above-linked strip. I suppose we should be grateful the Thorpiverse isn’t  Lynn Johnston’s Ontario in which everyone ends up with their high school sweetheart.

Dunno who this rando burger eating girl is in the foreground but with hands like that she could spell Jocelynn Brown behind the plate.

Today’s bizarre cameo: Wilbur Weston from Mary Worth in the role of David’s dad.

Today’s title inspiration is as short and sweet as today’s post.

May 8, 2019

‘Scuse me while I whip this up*

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Oooh, hubris! Love it!

So when do the too-cool-for-school girls get their comeuppance? When Molly goes on the DL for chemical burns after Milo accidentally on purpose tips her lab experiment over on her?  When fist bumps go wrong and somebody breaks a hand? Or when another rando MHS student fails to look up from his smartphone, slips on the highly polished floors and crashes into Molly, injuring her horribly? Things are going too well for the Lady Mudlarks – and their behavior becoming too arrogant – for this Era of Good Feelings to last.

Today’s bizarre cameos: Ted Cruz as Milo, Señor y Señorita Wences in the Milford infield. Rocki Prado has a Twitter feed but there’s not much gleaned from it. Props to the Chief for giving her lustrous hair to rival Gilchrist-era Aunt Fritzi and earrings that more closely approximate what girls currently wear than what are usually seen in Milford.

 

*Which is what I say to myself every day I write a post here.

February 15, 2019

Shakin Bacon

Filed under: basketball, bizarre cameos, Bobby Howry, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 9:54 pm

Its a bird its a plane its…. Maxwell Bacon??? Huh? Oh yeah. December 2014…

https://gilthorp.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/122314.gif

https://gilthorp.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/012615.jpg

..and January 2015, where he changes his name to Max, for 4 years anyway.

So Maxwell is now 21, and he’s got nothing better to do then to walk into the school unnoticed, where schools all over America have security that prevents any hoo ha from just walking in and possibly taking a gun to the whole student body, and say hi to Coach Thorp, who should be asking — “‘Seriously, what the fuck are you doing here?? Go back to your senior year at College Of No Hope and graduate so you can get on the wait list for Mopman of Milford, currently held by Steve Luhm, another former Mudlark who was resurrected to make sure everyone slips on the floors of Milford High.”

Well, Max (no, Maxwell) is wondering whats up with that rascal Bobby Howry, who has joined the name change parade and become Robby. Max hasnt gotten the memo that Bobby is now Robby. You mean he’s so busy he doesnt even have time to read this strip??

Whatever– yet another old character is roused from the Milford grave to assist in the storyline that isnt. Why not develop yet another character thats already been developed, and rotted away like an old uneaten banana? Hey, if his last name was Sausage we’d never hear from him again.

It looks like this is how the Howry part of the storyline is gonna be resolved. By having old Bacon back in town to reunite with RobBob and officially plaster him to his own billboard, right under FIRE GIL THORP NOW.  Face-first. He’ll think a swirly is nothing after that.

 

 

November 21, 2018

Help a Buddy Out?

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Today’s cameo

By Toshiro Mifune

Which film, I’m not sure

 

Surprised Whigham drew

Recognizable actor

Mudlarks look alike

 

How many of you

Knew that was Bolek next to

Tiki in the caf?

 

“Feeling frisky” is

Euphemism for “horny”

Is it sexy time?

 

Nah. Let’s interrupt

The Kurosawa screening

For some adventure

 

“Help a buddy out”

Will translate into filming

Some wacky hijinks

 

Phone camera vid

Of Tiki getting bullied

Make it go viral!

 

Toshiro would be

As confused as we all are

With what’s going on

 

 

Haiku metapost:

Here’s to our Ned Ryerson

Ten years at the helm

 

How has he done it?

It’s been hard enough for me

To post twice a week

 

Ned is the straw that

Stirs This Week in Milford’s drink

Here’s to ten years more…?

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