This Week in Milford

May 13, 2017

The Dreaded Call to the ‘Pen


Today we get another one of those frequent time dilation events that tend to happen in the Thorpiverse.  Sometimes this isn’t such a bad thing: when several days are spent on a single play or sequence of events in a single game, the pacing of a typical high school sports season gets thrown off.  Other times, it feels really forced, especially when the events of the stretched out game could have an impact on the events of the speeded up games.

That’s what’s happening here. It feels like Ryan Van Auken’s lost cool that led him to getting yanked from his first start is being completely glossed over. We can only assume everything went Ryan’s way and that his dumpster fire of a temper has been left smoldering, only to be touched off again by, perhaps…

… a mysterious phone call, such as the one a young Stephen King is fielding in the Milford High Journalism Office(!).  On the basis of one exposé, Dafne Dafoe Dafonte Dafunk has gained a reputation as a hard-hitting reporter, one who’s ready to blow the roof off a subject once given a hot lead.  Wanna bet this call’s from the Fun Girls from Mount Pilot* – er, Central City – with the juicy backstory as to why Van Auken’s now plying his wares in Milford?

*One of The Fun Girls was named Daphne. Coincidence?

April 14, 2017

More girl talk

Filed under: bizarre cameos, general nonsense, Gil Thorp, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 3:28 pm

Well I guess this is an improvement over the last storyline; cute girls having a discussion of roping in a stud on the track team and figuring out how to lure him in when the one who is truly interested isnt the one that needs to do the roping. Whatever.

Gary Meola looks like a surfer dude from his pic on this site, but his day job is as a real-estate agent for Coldwell Banker in Maui Hawaii. Cool. Now if we can persuade him to transfer his offices to Milford we have a real story eh? If I lived in Hawaii I’d rather stick my head in a microwave and turn it on high then move to a tank town like Milford, and hang out with girls with blue hair and that one in P2 with platinum blond hair like Marjie D. Pass the ketchup before you take another bite of burger please.

September 15, 2016

I Felt Like Skipping, Too, But I Posted This Anyway

Filed under: bizarre cameos, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, soccer — teenchy @ 4:29 am


Say goodbye to the brutally honest Coach Dawes. Nice knowin’ ya.

Back to the gridiron where three unidentifiable lumps* converse. Maybe the lump in shoulder pads and shorts is our newfound Friend of TWIM Kevin Pelwecki, based on his size and dark mullet. Not sure what the other two are supposed to be laughing or not laughing about but it might be that already marked 40-yard line, which is put down 90 degrees off from any I’ve ever seen.  When Gil needs help getting the chalk down on the field, you know it’s gonna be a long season – figuratively, that is; I don’t see this one lasting five and a half months in real time myself.

* TWIMer Max points out that unidentifiable lump nearest the reader is one-armed Coach Steve Boone. Perhaps I should not have assumed that he could have had an arm obscured in shadow.

April 30, 2015

Milford @ Ballard: Judgment Day

April 30, 2015


Holy crap. Any commentary I might have today would be overshadowed by the fact that, in the Thorpiverse, Skynet is real.

None of the details of this game – the wacky bounces; the BONK! off the Skynet billboard; Marty’s blown-up photos of a view from a press box tacked to his basement wall; his headset made out of my old Grado Labs headphones, a ping-pong ball and a coat hanger; a stolen base by Max Ortiz, consistent with his characterization as speedy; the idea that a five-run top of the first constitutes a “rally”; the distinct possibility that True Standish coughs up that five-run lead later in the game – none of this amounts to a hill of beans in the context of a society under imminent threat of termination at the direction of an overarching, self-aware artificial intelligence bent on destroying the human race.

Their only hope is that Kyle Reese and John Connor are on the Ballard roster.

December 3, 2014

This One Is A Downer

Filed under: actual action, bizarre cameos, football, google nonsense, Neal's friends — timbuys @ 5:04 am

December 3, 2014


Hey, it’s the championship game! And there’s tons of action! Including T.J. Stowe! Who’s T.J. Stowe? Oh, um, well that’s a bit awkward… and depressing…

OK. Now that doing some cursory research on today’s strip has gotten my day off to a not so groovy start, I think I’ll get on with doing whatever else it is I do during the day.

November 15, 2014

Milford Cheerleader Breaks the Internet

November 15, 2014


Today brings us a very special pop culture cameo appearance as Kim Kardashian’s ass shows up on the Milford sidelines. Have we ever seen the Mudlark cheerleaders this close and directly behind the players? And what’s that mysterious object(s) at upper right? We can see hash marks so we know they’re not standing in the corner of the end zone. Wherever they are it’s as far away from the wrath the indifference of Gil as possible.

Yep, it’s all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows as long as the points keep coming. Magnanimous True hands out scoring plays like participation trophies and Austin Shuford is happy just to bask in the glow of his sweat. Even early-season standout Don Stebbins steps into the limelight, doing his part for the Law of Conservation of Pick-Sixes.

Who knows how long this party train will run? Westview just won a conference championship so anything’s possible (and I suggest you follow that link for some pithy observations from billytheskink). Enjoy the ride – and the relative cornucopia of football action.

November 11, 2014

Wait. What?

November 11, 2014


Guys, I think Whigrub is employing some strategery here as there is simply too much weirdness going on in today’s strip for me to focus on any single aspect of it properly. That said, here goes:

Panel one: So, Jarrod isn’t burning True, but is instead whining about getting more playing time. Which, doesn’t make any sense? Isn’t Jarrod now playing wide receiver in addition to being the backup QB? Whatever, it is interesting that Gil has an XKCD cast poster framed on his office wall.

Panel two: OK, this came up in comments but seriously, what the heck do these guys teach? Perhaps, Kaz’s scribblings on the whiteboard can illuminate this for us. Here are my best guesses:


Hmmm, nope. I am afraid I can’t crack The Kazinski Code here no matter how I try to parse that daunting cryptological conundrum up there on the board.

Panel three? Wait. What? OK. I’m done here.

March 28, 2014

Get Clumsy

Filed under: bizarre cameos, comic crossovers, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 11:29 am

March 28, 2014


Holy crap! Is that Sarah Morgan, precocious offspring of Rex Morgan, M.D. and his wife, ex-Patrick Nagel model June, making a cameo in Panel 1?  Did she get so rich off that book deal that she had herself declared an emancipated minor and split that scene, only to land in Milford? She might as well make the best of it at Schultz’s Polynesian Garden and slurp down some noodles using the chopsticks she holds in her giant adult hands!

Widdle Sawah breaks the fourth wall today, inviting us to witness Clumsy Amy Lange awkwardly introduce herself to Lucky, who changes back from root beer brunet to blond and back to brunet again in his excitement. He’s not even dripping in Panel 1, so maybe that’s the sweat of anticipation in Panel 2.

Could Clumsy Amy and Lucky be the Milford couple of the spring? As billytheskink put it yesterday:

Lucky and Clumsy
Milford High’s new item?
Destruction awaits

Has anybody figured out who Clumsy Amy’s face model might be?


« Newer PostsOlder Posts »

Blog at