This Week in Milford

March 23, 2020

Alexa? Alexa! Call Me!

Filed under: Brown Hair, huge earrings, Peering Over Eyeglasses, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 6:04 am

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There are lots of things that are driving us nuts these day, like for instance a global pandemic and all the mitigation strategies that will keep us severely confined. Some might say these conditions are the precise reason why we all need to chill the fuck out and not sweat the small stuff. But what about us in the comics blogging and commenting commenting community? Sweating the small stuff is what gives us a comfort and respite from the frightening realities of the real world. So in that spirit, let’s really sweat the small stuff!

First off, have we ever been given any indication of who has the lead in this valedictorian “competition”? I assume it’s mostly GPA driven.* It’s not that I’m asking this strip to detail whatever points system might be in place at MHS, it’s just that some character could actually say “Chris Schuring has a higher GPA” or whatever so that this meeting with the counselor could actually make sense and not just seem like just a cryptic hand touching and glasses lowering ceremony.

Based on today’s strip, I think we’re supposed to conclude that Chris Schuring has the lead and is offering to share the glory with Alexa Watson. This is the pretext for another confrontation even though the academic year is not over. If these two were so close in standing, you would think that the outcome would still be up in the air and our brown haired counselor even says as much! But let’s not let reason stand in the way of manufactured drama. Unless these two are going to toss social distancing to the wind and bone already!

Am I really “shipping” Alexa and Chris (Chralexa? Alexris)? Only for humor. Do I really think social distancing or any aspect of what’s happening in “the real world” will show up in Gil Thorp? No, it’s the 1950s with cell phones in Milford and they’re still concerned about the polio virus being spread in public pools.

*If I really strain hard, I can remember a little bit of drama in my high school about who would be valedictorian. I can’t remember who actually received the honor, but I do remember a handful of people who were in the running and a few of them were very Type A about it. There was even some mild shit talking which, even then, I found really annoying.  In that last semester of senior year, I was accepted into college and really wanted to get the fuck out of there.

March 21, 2020

The Bad Touch

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What is it about Alexa Watson that makes Milford High female faculty and staff want to touch her? First it was Mimi smacking her backside in practice; now it’s brown haired guidance counselor type lady making goo goo eyes while reaching in to caress the back of Alexa’s (much larger) hand. Is this her way of helping Alexa land her coveted valedictory prize? Not sure what’s odder: that Alexa appears to lack nail beds, or that Rubin finds all this touching of students appropriate in this day and age. (That’d be true even given these strips were submitted to the syndicate well in advance. Too soon for jokes on our current situation, and the toilet paper memes ceased being funny after about the 450th one.)

On to our usual underwhelming little Saturday cliffhanger. This is gonna end up like that old Warner Brothers cartoon The Dover Boys at Pimento University where the goofy running gag background character ends up with the girl, isn’t it? Phoebe will be your valedictorian without ever having to go upside anyone’s noggin.

 

March 20, 2020

Oh let it go already!

Filed under: Brown Hair, freak hands, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos, Pointy Fingers — robmize2013 @ 7:18 pm

First of all:   Yes I had to go to work today. I’m essential, a mailman. I get permission to leave my house, which is somewhat of a relief given what I hear about people going stir-crazy in their homes and binge-watching every show ever produced. Hey, I get fresh air and (mild) exercise, and listen to talk shows on the radio while Im driving around outside. I get home, walk my dog, rest and watch a little tv, then make dinner and kick back and enjoy my evening.   I really hope by mid-April we’ll have a handle on this thing, because so many lives have been affected. I miss seeing my friends, but I’m sure we’ll be very happy to see each other when this is over. Its all I can do. I wash my hands when I can and try to stay as clean as possible, which is just about impossible while I’m working, but it is what it is. And I never knew I’d be giving up church for Lent.

So these 2 clowns are still re-hashing what happened 3 years ago, and Divot Head is refusing an apology that Chris doesnt even have to make. I really think Chris wasnt aware of it at that moment. You walk by a lot of stuff in a day, and if you stopped and policed every one of them you’d never get anywhere with what You had to do. I think if it was that obvious Chris woulda done something, but Divot should just take his word for it, and MOVE ON. We can add Divot Head to the list of characters to be shot out of a cannon after theyre done entertaining us.

P3 has what looks like Alexa’s guidance counselor reviewing her academic record.  I dont know why this is that necessary in the strip; why we care about her post-Milford life is dubious. And the dialogue is nonsensical. If Alexa already triple-checked this info,  why does Brown Hair have to top that? Who checked first? Sounds like they both did, but Alexa’s balloon should be a question not a statement.

I also cant get over the way that chair is shaped. How BH is sitting in it is beyond me. If its a swivel chair it should be visible behind both sides of her. Comments on this are welcome.

Stay healthy my friends! We’re all in the same boat.

 

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