This Week in Milford

May 19, 2017

A pitcher that hits

Filed under: Central City Cretins — robmize2013 @ 4:57 pm

And the plot takes a very different turn as a background check on Ryan reveals something the Milford enrollment committee should have seen when they were reviewing his application. I dont know how public schools enroll kids; I went to a Catholic high school and everyone had to take an entrance exam, which was a basic indicator of if you could handle a college-prep school like the one I went to. A couple of my grade-school friends wound up going to a public high school entirely because they didnt score high enough on the exam to warrant admittance at my Catholic school. It wasnt a big school, and only could admit so many freshmen at once. I know they were a little dissapointed, but life went on and they wound up as productive members of society. I know they were smarter then a couple of kids that Were accepted and wound up either leaving the school due to failing grades or other non-academic reasons. Anyway..

I suppose public school admittance has a little more leeway due to more size and the fact that we the taxpayers are funding the tuition that my parents paid to send me to my private high school. Transfers would be a different story; we had a few here and there every year, but none were troublemakers before that I knew of.

Again I figure Gil knew nothing of Ryans past trasngressions, but we’ll find out next time he’s on a panel. Looks like the sports side of this strip is definitely in the back seat for the time being. My next question is what stage of the assault charges are we at in the past city, and was one of the girls in the panel where they are talking about him his victim? (May 2, Panel 2, and May 12, Panel 3)

We also need to find out more details about the incident; was he intoxicated or did the anger issues stem from other life problems like bad parenting, etc. Got a lot on the plate all of a sudden gang..




May 12, 2017

More kid gossip

Filed under: ?, Central City Cretins, general nonsense, Milford Weirdos — robmize2013 @ 7:39 pm


So after the Bucket stare-off, we find that both the guy and the girl thought the other guy and girl was impressed with them. Egads. I cant keep anybody straight at this point. All I know is someone is gonna get mad at somebody for no good reason. P3 adds to the confusion with 3 more girls deciding to go … where? Who knows who likes who at this point and who cares? We got games to play.

METAPOST: I couldnt upload  the strip because GOcomics wasnt working properly, so I put the link from the Seattle Times in instead. I dont know why I cant copy/paste the Seattle link anymore but if someone can tell me how I’d appreciate it.

META-METAPOST: Not sure the issue, but hope you don’t mind my fix, Rob. TimP

May 2, 2017

What’s Next?


I am sure Dafne will easily be able to top her takedown of a prominent school board member. Stories like that are a dime a dozen in the student newspaper.  Meanwhile, these oddly shaped and attired Central City Cretins are apparently planning a road trip to Tanktown Milford to do…. what exactly? Rile up what’s his name? The volcano guy?

I guess they don’t have anything else to do two weeks from now.

April 22, 2017

Welcome Back Carter – er, Van Auken


Central City has been notoriously bad to Milfordians over the years, and it looks like it’s going to be so again in the near future.  How do they know Van Auken there? Did he play for Central in the past (and, if he did, wouldn’t Gil and Kaz already be familiar with his work)? That’s unclear from this exchange, but these young ladies know of him there. What’s also unclear is how they plan to “welcome” Ryan back.  Apropos of nothing, I watched Bull Durham last night for the first time in years, so my mind runs to locker room hijinks, garter belts and poetry readings. However, knowing this strip there’ll be mocking from the bleachers, probably involving people dressed up like hurricanes (the meteorological event, not the beverage) and a sign man or two. Meanwhile back in Milford…

… we’ve not yet been treated to a Mouseketeer Roll Call for the Lady Mudlarks*, but it would appear that their catcher is Le Pétomane.  Even the home plate umpire is rendered speechless by the Milford catcher’s talking hind parts. It only seems fitting that Mimi’s minions are playing host to a team from the land of the noble gases. Clearly they’re not in Kansas anymore. Tune in on Monday when Carrie Hobson lobs a few smoke grenades of her own across the plate.

*And we seldom are, cf. the boys’ teams.

April 21, 2017

Only a matter of time..

Filed under: Central City Cretins, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:41 pm

Well its nice that Gil and Kaz need to look at the stat sheet (where the hell do they get one at a high school game, unless its the actual scorebook, and I doubt it) to figure out how Raging Ryan pitched and how long. They dont bother to count pitches, or count to 2 innings without paper help.

Good ol Barry Bader still bitching about his spot in the order — I’m sure I told a story last year about my  similar experience coaching pony leaguers in the 90’s. But I cant find it now so trust me – –

And back in Trouble (Central) City, we have girl softball players discussing Ryan at Milford, as if they think he should be somewhere else.. stay tuned, my nose detects some interesting times ahead in the near future..

December 16, 2016

A rave in time saves nine.

Filed under: actual action, Central City Cretins, general nonsense, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 8:03 pm

So Aardvark pulled what amounts to an all-nighter at the Central City rave, then ‘lost track of time’ somewhere between 4 AM and 7 AM. Came straight to practice in basketball attire, so that means he wore that to the rave. In December. Winter. Cold. Yep. Meet our latest installment of I’m a Milford Douchbag.

So apparently there’s nothing else to do in Central City except go to a rave, since his teammate put those 2 facts together. Ah – thats why they showed us the opening scene. Always start somewhere, these pitiful plots.

I suppose Aardvark thinks raves are either for kids or grownups, and he is neither. That remains to be seen.

June 28, 2016

Movies Typically Are Better Written…

Filed under: Central City Cretins, lessons learned, Mimi Thorp — timbuys @ 5:59 am


Movies, like real life, end. Maybe I want that too much for this plot.

June 25, 2016

Black Is the New Black


Aw, bless their hearts,  Jefferson’s girls want to share in a moment of „Solidarność”with the Lady Mudlarks. The Lady Jeffs’ coach looks a bit like Holly Dobbs but with a schnozz made for radio.  Speaking of doppelgängers, Mimi’s looking suspiciously like Gil in drag today. (Mimi’s secret thought: “No! You can’t outgrieve us! Boo was our player!”) Looks like she finally found the budget to buy softball jerseys for the final game, instead of repurposing the basketball uniforms as she’s been doing all season. At least she is repurposing that Milford Software gimme polo she got last year.

No Marty Moon or Marjie Ducey on hand – not that we’ve seen yet – but 94.5 The Moose Central City’s WCEN has seen fit to send Generic White Guy Sports Reporter to the game to play the human interest angle. Why the Mystic Pranks didn’t show up to play the National Anthem is beyond me.

What’s also beyond me is this whole notion that Boo’s death demanded that Mimi name an emergency starter. Unless Boo was was the only starting pitcher Milford had, of course. Given that the last game played was Boo’s no-hitter, wouldn’t Mimi have had another starter ready to pitch the next game? If that was the case, there’s no real need to put Carrie Hobson on the hot seat. Methinks this is another ploy by Mimi to tank the season so that everyone can get on with their grieving and, ultimately, their lives.

Since devoted TWIMer billytheskink has provided us with our song parody for this arc, I’ll just leave y’all with this song for today:

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