This Week in Milford

July 12, 2017

That’s Not How Journalism Works

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Looks like we’re tying up loose ends left and right. Let’s have at it:

P1: How often have you high-fived someone across your body? Carrie’s pose is just all wrong.

P2: If DD can find a few experts she might get this onto some obscure online content mill. “Two Milford girls discovered this one weird trick that’s revolutionizing the Billion dollar anger management industry!”

P3: Did Alison Bechdel key Rubin’s car or what?

July 6, 2017

The Hits Keep Coming

July 5, 2017

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July 6, 2017

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Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso better be glad that Milford ain’t old school Westview, else he’d be getting shot at for mouthing off at a hall monitor like that. How plausible is Jimmy’s defense, anyway? If we look at Tuesday’s strip we can see a dark object with a protruding right angle at Jimmy’s face height, but that angle is about level with his shoulders. Chekhov’s cabinet door…

…or Chekhov’s black eye?  Whichever, they fall into place for the logical conclusion of this arc. Braying Daftpunk, flashing her best Biting Pear of Salamanca leer, chooses her words carelessly. Anybody with an ear could draw the conclusion that she intended to hit Jimmy and, even if she didn’t, that she moved past him with such force that he fell into Chekhov’s cabinet door. And you know what? Anybody will. Daffy will soon find herself in Ryan Van Halen’s shoes, which will lead her begging to Ms. Rizk to be let back on to the Trumpet staff to defend herself and Ryan. Lessons learned, fade to silhouettes, walk through a doorway and we’ll see you on the Thorps’ back porch.

Think we’ll ever see any sports being played in this arc again? Maybe that Van Halen kid will play some chin music on some Central batters and cow them into being no-hit. Then he can get killed off like the last Milford pitcher who threw a no-hitter.

July 1, 2017

We hate to see you go but we love to watch you – oh, never mind

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Poor Carrie Hobson. First she gets shellacked by Jefferson in the first game of the post-Boo Radley era, then she gets soundly rejected by Hurdler Gary Meola. Another spring arc, another tearful exit for Carrie. What did she ever do to piss Rubin off?

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Dafne finds herself having to fend off Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso’s poorly aimed Vulcan nerve pinch. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into a bad touch.

Wishing our friends to the north a happy Canada Day on the 150th anniversary of your confederation. A bit of hardball nostalgia for you today as a lagniappe:

June 29, 2017

Someone’s in the Kitchen with Dafne

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It’s been over a month and a half since the Milford softball girls have seen any action, so at least one of them is hoping to see some off the field.  Turns out Carrie had better save that sliding for the softball diamond, if she ever gets back there. Pissy faced Gary is just not into her.

Meanwhile in the kitchen the unwanted advances are fixin’ to swap genders. Dafne raises a dainty pinky and flashes some midriff as she reaches for the pause that refreshes, whilst Shot Putter Jimmy Caruso tries to figure out when and where to put his shot. Unlike poor misguided Carrie, Dafne has the journalistic talent to turn the episode into something print-worthy.  Her grand return to the Trumpet will read along the lines of “I got hit on last week. You know who else got hit on, too? Ryan Van Auken’s ex-girlfriend!” Naw, it’ll be more like “I almost gave someone at Milford High unwanted attention, and now that I’ve gotten unwanted attention too, I can empathize and will now shut my trap.”

June 28, 2017

So, Are They Just Going To Stand There In The Kitchen With Their Drinks?

Filed under: Bare Midriffs, Chunky Bracelets, general nonsense — timbuys @ 9:06 am

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Panel one: That sound bar thing is pretty groovy.

Panel two: Try not to spend too much time with what’s going with Carrie and Gary’s respective postures.

Panel three:  I already used my panel three ‘joke’ such as it is so I will simply compliment the Caruso’s on their lovely tile backsplash.

June 27, 2017

Slowest-Mover-Ever Mode?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Chunky Bracelets — timbuys @ 8:07 am

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Sometimes the post titles write themselves. I guess I did anticipate developments in this direction, but now that it’s happening I can’t say I’m all that interested inasmuch as we’ve been given almost nothing to go on regarding their relationships.  Well, now we know that Gary and Jimmy are especially close to each other.

Were I a bit more creative, I’d say that panel three’s depiction of returning a tray of tepid cafeteria leftovers is some sort of metaphor for writing TWIM posts, but I just can’t quite get it to work.

June 26, 2017

The Shallow Besties

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 3:38 am

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Check it out. Dafne’s friend, whose name has totally been forgotten, is going to get Dafne out of her post journalism funk. They’re going to get milkshakes and fries with The Boys! The boys are probably the shot putter and the hurdler, whose names have also been forgotten. By all means, what this plot needs is another trip to The Bucket with the Bob, Dafne, Ted and Alice.

All right, I couldn’t stand to review this lameness but I did it for you, readers. The rest of the grouping is Carrie Hobson (The Bestie), Gary Meola and Jimmy Caruso (The Boys). That was painful to look back at, but weren’t some seeds sown earlier that the crushing going on between these pairs was somewhat unrequited? Ha. Forget about it. It’s Milford.

June 24, 2017

Which Two Did He Hit?

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Poor Ryan.  Fist at the ready but he’s not supposed to punch anyone.  Way to not take advantage of a situation.

Know who else hasn’t taken advantage of a situation?  Marty Moon!  If he broadcasts every Milford game, he’d have seen the protest poster and been on the story like white on rice. Even if he doesn’t broadcast every game, surely Marjie Ducey would’ve picked up the story and he’d have commented on it. (Pouty Daftpunk isn’t the only “journalist” in town, dontchaknow.) Instead Marty’s been sitting in his basement, rolling his dice and composing music on his Casiotone. See the pile of blank staff paper on top of the keyboard?

Don’t look now folks but in a week’s time Milford has supposedly played six games. Reckon they’ll finish the season by the end of the month – or before Dafiltefish crawls back to Ms. Rizk begging to get back on the Trumpet staff?  Let’s put in an order to Rob’s Pizza and watch things unfold; I hear the breadsticks are a must. I’d say we could hang out but Rob’s is takeout or delivery only.

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