It Could Happen To You

P1: Thanks for the exposition, Kaz. How much gel does Kaz have to use to get all of his sideburn hairs in parallel do y’all reckon?

P2: Is that even Paloma in the foreground hug with, uh, Karina I guess? Because the brunette in mid-panel looks closer to Paloma. Also, too, wasn’t this whole thing pretty much a Karina/Duncan joint with Jarrell ‘Spielberg’ Atkins directing?

P3: Jeeze, Mimi with a devastating toting the laundry walk by zinger. Meanwhile, Gil looks incredibly constipated as he just cannot deal with it that people keep bringing up this Marty Moon bullshit to him. It’s bad enough he has to show up at the games but he sure as hell didn’t sign up for talking about them for days afterwards.

Minus point: Karina has a terribly advanced case of trigger finger there in P2. Perhaps the Spring arc could help inform us about this potentially crippling condition and the plight of so afflicted high school athletes.

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Join In the Chant

I love it that Paloma’s all up in Marty’s grill; too bad Exploding Spittle Syndrome is not a thing. Still I’m a little disappointed in the chant. “Muzzle Marty” is a four-syllable phrase. Why aren’t the protesters using the “clap clap clap-clap-clap” cadence? You’d think they know it since “Mudlarks” is a two-syllable nickname.

Raised fists make for good visuals but they can’t be heard on the radio. Maybe since they’re not in the cheap seats they think they can just rattle their jewelry.

What four-syllable chant would you have the Milford crowd do? Keeping it clean so WDIG doesn’t pull the plug (although Marty’s think-skinned ass may just do it for spite, the station manager may think any ratings are good ratings). “Fuck you Marty” or “Un pendejo” are right out.

Inspiration for today’s post title:

 

So, Uh, They All Just Stopped Chanting When Marty Got Up?

In the long history of student demonstrations at Valley sporting events (which I am too lazy to document here), this has got to be one of the weakest ones ever. No signs, no props, not even a particularly clever chant. Just a forest of Freak Hands and Chunky Bracelets to assure that we are indeed in the Milford milieu.

Assorted questions:

So, is the game still going on? Is there someone back at the studio to fill the air? Why isn’t Karina shouting back at Marty? Who’s face is that in Panel two? Does Marty’s mike not reject most ambient noise and if not, why the hell is he wearing a headset then? In short, just what the hell is going on here?

Minus points: Let’s go back to Panel One for a moment… With the possible exception of Duncan, those are supposed to be the hands of teenaged girls.

 

Mo’ Better Lady Mudlarks

And what happened, then? Well, in Milford they say – that Karina’s small nose grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Milford came through, and Karina found strength of *ten* Marties, plus two!†

Come on, Chief, stay on model! Saturday’s cliffhanger leaves us wondering how the Lady Mudlarks will protest Marty Moon at the Milford boys’ game and how of-of-sync with today’s realities that protest will be. Rather than speculate on that, I’ll focus on the little details that keep us coming back for more:

P1: Paloma’s super freaky giant left hand (no wonder that phone looked so tiny when she held it) is par for the course, but I must say I appreciate how Whigham has drawn the girls’ hair. Such shine and volume! Breck Girl Darwin would be proud.

P2: Karina comes not only with a giant schnozz but also with pre-skinned knuckles.

P3: We never saw the end of the Milford @ Jefferson game but we know now that the Mudlarks lost. No burritos for Jorge, then?  That might explain the fridge raid and the fridge-side pizza menu.

PP2-3: Karina’s and Paloma’s upper lips remind me of the top half of the old Hartford Whalers logo. Gives me a great excuse to fire up some “Brass Bonanza.”

†Happy belated birthday T. S. Geisel!

¿Por qué Marty?

Ya know, Rubin could be selling this “Marty drops Mexican references into his broadcast to woo That New Mexican Restaurant™ as a sponsor” thing a little better if he wove the name drops into Marty’s play-by-play a little better. For example, Wednesday’s strip would’ve been more convincing if he had Marty say “Padilla earned his burritos with that one. He’ll love the burritos at Los Morenos – and you will too!” It’d work a little better still if his Mexican references were about things that people actually ate.

Between the bracelets, earrings, pissy faces, enormous freak hand, and use of the term “ease up,” P2 nearly achieves Peak Milford solely through its visuals.  What puts it over the top is the assumption that Paloma is using her tiny pack of Virginia Slims phone to dial up WDIG at night to complain about Marty rather than to light up social media (which, again, only Golden Child True Standish and his QB posse had any inkling of how to use). If this resembled reality in any way, shape or form, by the end of the game Marty would be subject to a tweetstorm of hurricane-like proportions. This arc would resemble reality a bit more closely if the Padilla sibs hadn’t assimilated so smoothly, too. Milford isn’t Amish country; it only seems that way sometimes.

 

 

Somehow, I Don’t Think This Is Helping Ad Sales

So, you’re a manager or perhaps the owner of Los Morenos restaurant, the new (and probably only) Tex-Mex restaurant in Milford if you don’t count Taco Bell. You’ve been told by the incessant sales guy who only orders shots of bottom shelf tequila and eats a LOT of free chips and salsas to tune into the game. What’s going through your head in panel one?

Meanwhile, we get an interesting reaction shot in panel two as we see that Paloma has nearly fully assimilated into her new hometown, chunky bracelets, exploding eyeballs, freak hands and all.

Panel three has my full attention, although I’m not quite sure about number 31’s defensive technique there. Is he about to hammer Jorge* number 50 in the back of his neck with an elbow? It’s been a pretty chippy game from what we’ve seen so far.

Bonus points: I’m trying to decide what Whigham was going for on that logo in panel two. My guess?

Also, I like how Paloma is doing kind of a reverse Vulcan salute with her left hand.

* Further research (no, I don’t know what is wrong with me that I researched this) reveals that Jorge is number 33.

So, Did Marty Roll His Double RR’s?

Panel One: That elbow from Oakwood #5 coulda just as easily been called the other way.

Panel Two: Marty is a real jerk.

Panel Three: I mean, seriously, just a true jerk.

Minus points: Nice mug, Karina. Did you buy it online using your |||| brand laptop?

I Didn’t Know We Had Spooled

I really don’t know what’s been going on here. It’s probably just as well that I don’t try to make sense of the last few weeks and just focus on what’s in front of me.

The season is now in swing and the Padillas are being embraced by their fellow Mudlarks. For Jorge, this involves some kind of shenanigans in the locker room involving towels. Do I feel like trying to sort out what’s happening in Panel 2? Not really. It’s a half naked Padilla, a shadowy hand and a towel being flung. Do they just throw towels at each other for entertainment?

Now, on to Paloma’s panel. First off, I wasn’t sure if the narration box was contrasting Paloma’s companions as more politically aware than Jorge’s towel friends or perhaps some other less politically aware contingents that Paloma had previously encountered. Sure, flinging towels doesn’t convey political awareness in and of itself, but who’s to say there wasn’t some meaningful exchange of ideas accompanying the locker room chicanery.

That brings us to Glasses, the token libertarian. I’d love to know what the first part of her comment was. It would be interesting to know what a 2018 high school student who identifies as a libertarian might say, especially as imagined by a 62 year-old sportswriter.