This Week in Milford

October 27, 2017

The .. whaaaaat???

So now that Gil has all these plans to overhaul the offense and put in the veer, which I’m sure requires him to be on the job almost 24/7, he suddenly worries about … Rick singing the national anthem before the game??

WTF? why the hell does Gil give a flying fuck who sings the national anthem before the game?? He’s got plays to teach, Players to teach them to, practices to run, and now he gets emails about this distraction? Every week its something else thats more hair-brained then the last week. Its as if they cant get enough to do before they have to worry about something else thats 10 times as trivial. They take 2 months to play 2 games then decide they need a new offense after the defense gets its doors blown off. Now its this crap.

And all because Rick sang a song at the cafeteria last month! That he didnt want to sing anyway. Now he’s turned into Wayne Messmer overnight. (He’s an anthem singer in my hometown)

P3 – Dr. Pearl wrote the note; and she sounds like a fan, but again, doesnt she have better things to do? I already ranted in my metapost last Monday  (hope y’all had time to read it, I had too many thoughts to just comment)  about them farting away the summer on Jaquan Cases football dreams instead of delving into this sexy new offense that’ll debut just in time for snowflakes on the ground.

Well, after saying all that, I’ve decided who should really sing the anthem at the next game. Its someone they truly deserve, and couldnt be more fitting for the meatheads in charge of this school:……………

Roseanne Barr.

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October 16, 2017

No Time For Duck Jokes

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Oh, Uncle Gary. You’re unrelenting in your disdain of football. Don’t let the Millard West Wildcats hear your dismissive jabs, or they’ll drive up(?) from Omaha, Nebraska show you what it’s like! Sit over there with your coffee cup and your barbs, we’ve got other things of import to untangle here today.

What the hell? Coach Kaz went and got a black/blue dye job? (Okay, so this is why I used the color strip today. I kind of feel like colorist mistakes are maybe the easiest and most painfully obvious things to snark on, but on some most Mondays, I’ll take just about anything I can get.) Well, Kaz, what can we say? It looks great on you. Combined with the backwards clergy collar/black tee, it’s a bold new look for you. I guess the rest of the coaching brain trust (Coach Shaw! Steve Boone! Gilbot 3000!) is too absorbed in game video to take in your bold new choices. I predict Kaz will go and rinse that color out of his hair in time for his next appearance.

So we began with a goateed a-hole and now we end with the OG goateed a-hole, Marty Moon. Marty is doing his usual, the journalistic equivalent of stepping on a gardening rake. He lobs a presumptive question at Gil. In this cliffhanger style presentation, Gil gets a whole day to formulate a snarky and insultingly dismissive answer.

September 14, 2017

Bob Kazinski, Headbanger

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No pussyfooting around this fall: Gil Thorp is tackling today’s tough issues head-on. No wannabe junior detectives nosing around about some kid’s mom’s job, no protesters in the bleachers protesting what may or may not have been domestic abuse. Nope, we’re cutting straight to the chase, starting by looking at the life of one of Milford’s earliest concussion victims, Coach Kaz.

Although “accidently [sic*] bang[ing] helmets with Harry Bull” sounds like something that happened not at practice but in the showers afterward, said Mr. Bull is indeed not only a real person but also a school superintendent in Colorado with a lengthy list of career achievements and who attended Northern Colorado, where Kaz allegedly played college football. Whether Harry or Kaz came out on the short end of that collision I leave to the readers.

*BTW Rubin or his letterer needs to invest in a spell checker.

September 13, 2017

Exploring New Lows In My Cynical Appraisal Of Gil As An Authority Figure

Filed under: Coach Kaz, exposition comics, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Pissy faced Gil — timbuys @ 10:46 am

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There’s so much to cover today. For example, I do my work on a laptop, in a t-shirt, with a cup (non-personalized) of coffee to the side.

But, I work from home. As casual as I like to be, when I go into the office, I at least put on a shirt with a collar out of respect for my colleagues, unlike Kaz apparently. That said, let’s go panel by panel to tee it up for our commenters.

P1: You could crack a coconut on Gil’s nose.

P2: Kaz engages in some fundamental questioning of standardized testing.

P3: Might? I’m just gonna leave this here.

 

September 12, 2017

Establishing The Baseline

Filed under: big arms, Coach Kaz, freak hands, general nonsense, Gil Thorp, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 6:02 am

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Hey it’s a lineman who wants to be something else. No, wait. It’s his uncle who wants him to be something else.

Bonus point: If you like sideburns, today’s strip is for you.

June 21, 2017

Did Someone Say Track?

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Hey remember how there was a whole thing about one of the girls liking one of the guys on the track team? Yeah, me neither.

Bonus points:

Kaz’s barbed wire tattoo peeking out beneath his sleeve that he still regrets getting but can’t afford to get removed.

June 7, 2017

Why Would The Central Coach Apologize For A Disruption On The Road?

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With his first appearance in his namesake strip in nearly a month, Gil is apparently already halfway to cracking the case of the protesters who basically held up a sign silently for a half inning or so.

Clearly, the Central coach (Is he named Skip or is Gil calling him Skipper?) is about as clued in as Gil typically is. It must be nice coaching in the Valley…

Just to summarize the advancement of today’s plot: We now know ‘those girls’ are Central Students and that Ryan left after the game… Also, when Gil drinks his coffee right handed he has the L in Gil staring him in the face…

April 21, 2017

Only a matter of time..

Filed under: Central City Cretins, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:41 pm

Well its nice that Gil and Kaz need to look at the stat sheet (where the hell do they get one at a high school game, unless its the actual scorebook, and I doubt it) to figure out how Raging Ryan pitched and how long. They dont bother to count pitches, or count to 2 innings without paper help.

Good ol Barry Bader still bitching about his spot in the order — I’m sure I told a story last year about my  similar experience coaching pony leaguers in the 90’s. But I cant find it now so trust me – –

And back in Trouble (Central) City, we have girl softball players discussing Ryan at Milford, as if they think he should be somewhere else.. stay tuned, my nose detects some interesting times ahead in the near future..

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