Mimi Thorp: Guaranteed to Satisfy

While I was flat on my back in hospital this past weekend I did manage to keep up with the shenanigans at Milford Town Park, where the Milford – Valley Modified baseball game turned first into a rout then into a pukefest picnic. First the game was interrupted by pizza and drinks, then with a giant sub in the porniest way possible then, finally, with a visit from an ice cream truck with a name straight out of a Cheech and Chong movie and looking like it’s staffed by two Kazakhs and a bear.

As disgustingly as that whole scene played out, it pales in comparison to the victory lap these three mooks are taking in the Milford teacher’s teachers’ lounge. Nice to know that Gil, Kaz and Rooney feel as though buying the Dead End Kids some grub can assuage their guilt over not standing up for The Mayor when he needed it most, effectively screwing up his life for the forseeable future… or have they? What’s this mysterious email Gil’s referring to? Will it help Mike Knappe overcome the stigma of violating a draconian zero-tolerance policy for which none of his teachers or coaches stood up in opposition?

Who knows? All they care about is trying to figure out who sent the ice cream truck to Town Park. Hunkered down with a Popsicle® and a knowing smile, Mimi breaks the fourth wall. She must’ve been the one who stopped Uncle Bud as he was passing by.

 

An Unofficial Loss

The big event has come to a halt. It looks like The Mayor and Gonzo (?) are reviewing the game. The big takeaway is that Hiawatha and Corina Karenna are bonding over ice cream bars. I’ll bet an ice cream bar goes down nice and easy when your standing in the heat with a chest protector strapped to you. The odds are that we’ll never hear from Hiawatha/Corina again. Their meet cute will be as much a footnote to Mudlark lore as the rest of Hiawatha’s appearances.

This postmortem tells us that the game never actually ended. Presumably, the umpire got sick of all the nonsense and walked away. Also, the infield was covered in regurgitated pizza, subs and ice cream so it was kind of a health hazard.

What wrap up would be complete without Kaz and Gil summarizing something that they didn’t participate in? It looks like Kaz is catching Gil just as he’s sliding down a freshly waxed hallway in his socks. (Good job, Steve!) Yep, everyone left happy and there were only a few minor cases of food poisoning.

Coffee Is For Closers, Don

Oh boy do I love a coffee pouring panel. Mostly, I’d see them in Mark Trail. Mark would be sitting in his log cabin with Andy or Doc in the foreground, and Cherry would lean over and pour Mark a fresh cup of coffee. Usually Mark would be sharing a story about expensive rental vehicles being blown to smithereens while he covered a story about bark beetle infestations for Woods & Wildlife magazine.

Anyway, it’s nice to see Kaz intently dispensing some Teachers’ Lounge Blend into his personalized mug. Also, note that it looks like Don Rooney is having his own cup of something there in the background while keeping a low profile to avoid the attention of faculty alpha males Gil & Bob.

Okay, so the real story here is that Gil and Kaz know about the extra curricular game that’s going down, but they don’t *wink* KNOW about it. So sly this pair is. Maybe they think Rooney is some kind of snitch? (Rooney probably doesn’t care. The pest in his classroom is gone and he just wants to enjoy his coffee in peace.)

Meanwhile, the Mayor wants to make history with his Little Rascals squad versus the Mudlarks. Fire up!…but please fellas, no guns!

Tracking Monday

Gil tracks down Kaz to see if Chris Schuring has tracked down Kaz. Life at Milford High is mainly people tracking down other people so they can say things to each other. If you have an office, you’re generally easier to track down, as Gil demonstrates by tracking down Kaz. But, if you are not in you’re office, perhaps because you’re tracking someone else down, you’re generally harder to track down. Now, if you don’t want to be tracked down, but you do have an office, then you’re in a bit of a conundrum.

So now Kaz, having been tracked down by Gil, is being briefed on how to proceed when and if Chris Schuring tracks him down. Gil said he has “a few thoughts” which seems to translate into “here’s what you need to do”.

There is no suspense generated by Chris Schuring’s efforts to track Kaz down. One panel after the Gil/Kaz busines, Chris Schuring has tracked Kaz down. It looks like Kaz was tracked to the cafeteria. Next to the office, the cafeteria is an ideal place to track someone down. Kaz probably has “cafeteria duty”, which made him really easy to track down.

Gil has apparently fully briefed Kaz on his plan vis a vis the arrangement of a baseball game between Milford High and the Valley Modified “squad”. Once Kaz is tracked down by Chris Schuring, he begins to spew out Gil’s thoughts. Remember how the very last strip we had was Gil talking to Chris Schuring about the topic of arranging this game? I guess the speed of Gil’s thoughts have slowed to the point where he couldn’t share them with Chris then, thus necessitating extra layers of tracking and talking.

The kicker to all of this byzantine tracking and sharing is that we got absolutely nowhere today (other than seeing two successful track downs in one strip…Woo-hoo!) So we wait in suspense to see what else Gil told Kaz to tell Chris Schuring. Maybe some extra time to think gave Gil some ideas about how to be supportive of the plan for the game (but he’d prefer to have the ideas come through Kaz so he can stay away from any responsibilities). Maybe Kaz is just going to offer more lecturing on the liabilities at play here and throw more cold water on the plan.

Stay tuned. What else have you got to do?

Dead Horse: Beaten.

For the third straight day we’re told that The Mayor has been expelled. Now it’s time for that news to spread throughout Milford and into the Valley.

Gil’s little “I know” and $1.98 will buy The Mayor a cup of coffee at Swifti Mart on his way out of town. I suppose that’s some kind of foreshadowing of Gil testifying on his behalf when this goes to trial, or not. A quick search (which I’m not gonna link to, sorry) shows me that successful challenges of school zero-tolerance policies as arbitrary or capricious, violative of due process, or discriminatory are few and far between but not nonexistent. Imagine if the Knappes win on the merits: The Mayor gets reinstated at Milford High, the Knappes get their attorney’s fees plus damages, Milford school and property taxes go up to cover the costs, Marty Moon never lets Milford hear the end of it, somebody’s head rolls… will that be enough to keep Gildeaux’s mouth shut?

Onto the diamond where the Mudlarks are trying out their new practice jerseys with glow-in-the-dark numbers. Gil gets vague and Kaz gets pissy, probably because he forgot to put his earrings on today. Kaz-bot may be breaking the fourth wall to render an opinion on modern society here.

Kenny Rogers and the Terminator.

 

Everyone considered him the mayor of the county.

He’d never stood one single time to prove the Mudlarks wrong

His mama named him Michael, but folks just called him Mayor.

Something always told me they were reading Michael wrong

He was only ten years old when Gil saw him throw a baseball

And Gil decided right then he was headed for his team.

I still recall the final words Gil said to his coach Kazzy

“Son, my work is over, but yours has just begun” (I’ll be back)

“Promise me, Kaz, not to do the things I’ve done

Walk away from Knappy if you can

It won’t mean you’re weak if you just knock him on his cheek

I hope you know the Mayor understands

That he dont have the fight to be a man.”

 

He’s the mayor

Famous mayors:

1. Harry Caray- the mayor of Rush Street
2. Hank Sauer – the Mayor of Wrigley Field
3. Augustus Maywho – the mayor of Whoville
4. Ed Koch – mayor of New York City
5. Richard J Daley – mayor of Chicago
6. This dude

And all the other mayors were surely less of a douchbag then this guy is gonna turn out to be. Even the mayors in this strip blow.

Floor design is weird in P1. Who has floor patterns like that?

P2 – what the hell kind of question is that? Its not even a sweater. I have a similar shirt; its NOT a sweater.

I hate this guy already.

 

In Which Chris Schuring Indicates How Much We Still Care About This Plot

That, or he’s just finished watching a Get Smart marathon.

I’ll admit I’m not much of a TV watcher anymore. Outside of baseball season, it’s mostly nature shows on BBC America or an oldie on Turner Classic Movies for me.  So I’ve gotta hand it to astute TWIMer franku2016 who noted in yesterday’s comments:

This entire plot was on a Modern Family episode a few years ago with a GPA tie between Alex and her academic rival Sanje, and yes, they started dating, much to the dismay of Sanje’s old-world parents.

Despite being on the air for over a decade, Modern Family has flown completely under my radar, so I had to look it up. For those of you who were as clueless about it as me, this show features Ed O’Neill (better known to some of us as would-be patriarch Al Bundy in the 1990s sitcom Married with Children) as would-be patriarch Jay Pritchett. Part of Pritchett’s extended family includes son-in-law Phil Dunphy. A real estate agent, Phil often finds himself losing business to his arch-rival… Gil Thorpe.

Gentle readers, this cannot be mere coincidence, can it? All I know is I’m gonna start checking Modern Family plot summaries for comparison from now on.

+++

Now that that another installment of “teenchy Is Old and Out of Touch” is out of the way, let’s focus on what’s happening here. It looks like basketball season will be coming to a blessed end this weekend. Chris seems to think the school year will be, too, or at least the spring will do nothing to change the current academic rankings. Alexa’s dislike for him still holds true regardless of the sensitivity of his sarcasm detector. Chris’ altruism comes off to her as condescension if not something even less benign. I don’t think these two are becoming a couple anytime soon, but if this part of the plot continues into the next arc (think True/Boo from a few years back) it’s not out of the realm of possibility.