Panels one and three are plenty ridiculous, but panel two is a cornucopia of Milford weirdness. Had I more time and inspiration, I would try to track down the vintage of whatever monitor that might be or, at least, I would make a joke about how Gil had coasters stacked on either side of it.
Unseen footage: I would love to have a strip with one of the AP teachers complaining to Dr. Pearl about all of the bullshit passes Gil sends to excuse students from class on the flimsiest of pretenses.
Updated to add ‘freak hands’ tag… don’t look too long at Heather’s wrist in P1 if you know what’s good for you.
This is about as cutting a remark as we can hope for from Marty Moon, even though technically a heavy rain storm wouldn’t end the game early unless there’s some byzantine rules in the Valley Conference about weather conditions coupled with blowout scores. Note that Marty uses the colloquial term “gully washer”. Here’s an interesting look at some other regional variations (see “a heavy rain”). I didn’t quite find the definitive guide to the abbreviations used by that site, but if I’m reading that right, the term gully washer is in widespread use, excluding New England. Is this a clue to the location of Milford? Are we so deep in the weeds of this story line that things like this are commanding my attention? What if Marty had prayed for a turd-floater?
Moving beyond Regional English and Geography, we’ve got an awkward handshake with Tilden’s coach. It looks like Chris is really admiring Gil’s knuckles. Then Gil promises his team they’ll figure out what went wrong. That sounds like some sort of coaching. Good luck, Gil. At least we can look forward to Madison Time. If you want to practice, here’s a tutorial.
“No, let’s crush Heather’s confidence – and her body – instead.” Good job, Coach Shaw. You get more lines this season than you have in many and you’re ready to throw a girl under the bus. Meanwhile, the double entendres continue as Mimi quizzes Gil (who’s striking a Lincoln Memorial pose) about his past and future. I’m not even gonna take that bait today; y’all can run with that with your dirty minds.
5’8″, 150 is ridiculously small for a TE. Slot receiver, too. This coming from yhs who was a 5’8″, 190 reserve NT/ILB in high school. Granted that was during the Carter Administration and at a school in a town with one traffic light, but enough about me. I gotta start getting my drink on. The WLOCP is this afternoon and by all accounts it’s gonna get ugly fast.
Inspiration for today’s post title, as if y’all didn’t know already:
More exposition (and a whole bunch of double entendres) implying that Daddy Burns has been teaching Heather to catch as well as throw. I agree with the TWIM hive mind that if the Mudlark braintrust is considering her as TE Pete DeWindt’s replacement they should be finding out if she can block as well. As has also been postulated, maybe Gil will introduce the spread. Can Hakeem or The Secret Pelwecki execute the Mouse Davis run and shoot?
There’s a possible backstory to this father/daughter relationship (besides the usual sports parent living vicariously through his children angle we’re treated to in this strip) that merits exploring but I doubt we’ll get much of it. Instead I’m going to focus on the little things in today’s installment:
1) Our beloved Prairie Style Windows make an appearance in P1, but the oddly proportioned football has my attention. Doesn’t it look like it’s made of milk chocolate and wrapped in tinfoil?
b) Damn them’s some big apples in the Burns kitchen. What kind do you reckon they are?
iii) I’m getting a bit of an Uncle Charley vibe from Daddy Burns in P3. You?
Just as it looked like Moose Pelwecki was about to get a tryout as a ‘Big’ TE, we get this interesting scene which, as so often happens in Milford, raises more questions than it answers. Here are a few of mine:
Just how long was Kaz hanging out underneath the goalpost ready to sling that football?
Does he have a whole stack of balls there or just the one?
To what extent does the Milford HS coaching staff’s fixation on resolving the backup TE issue detract from their broader efforts to prepare for Madison?
Is it possible this is in fact the extent of preparations for Madison?
This plot is now stuck in the mud, the wheels are spinning, it’s messy and we’re not going anywhere. It’s nice to see Marjie and Gil doing their elaborate dance around the exchange of almost no information.
Panel 3 offers something pretty unique: Coack Kaz in a classroom! We know this is part of the high school coach’s life, but with the blistering pace of this strip and the intricate plotting, we just never get to see the coaches in the academic setting. Well, he’s in a classroom, but that’s about as much as me know. The classroom does have a college lecture hall feel, at least in terms of the seating that we see. I guess that’s not out of place in a modern high school. I wouldn’t know.
I don’t know what the nutty unknown kid is about to suggest to Kaz, but it has to do with The Secret Pelwecki, so hopefully it signals a plot movement. I gotta run and start studying for that pop quiz. I’ve got to look up Timi Tnuii Ivnii? Was that in the textbook or did I miss it in a lecture?
Kevin Pelwecki may not have a poster of the right guard on his wall, but does he have Groucho Marx and Chuck McCann in his medicine cabinet?
Here we were for the past couple of days remarking on how this strip portrays football positions in dialog balloons as abbreviations and wondering whether Milfordians pronounced them as abbreviations, and now here are kids sounding out the full name of each position. In so doing The Secret Pelwecki shows himself to be yet another in a very long line of Milford Idiots who want nothing more than to be the
defensive lineman right guard center of attention. I blame reality television.
Then – hey y’all, look! It’s a rare Coach Shaw spotting – and with more lines than just about ever. He’s setting us up for the fifth-string QB‘s transition into the third-string TE. Kaz, however, has had enough of his talk. By doing an end-around to snatch Coach Shaw’s MATT mug, Kaz asserts his dominance over Coach Shaw and maintains his status as beta male on the Milford sidelines.
I’m trying to get a read on the emotions going through Dory’s mind as he dialogues with The Secret Pelwecki. It seems like a mix of incredulity and contempt with a very strong overtone of panic as he realizes that he’s sitting next to the latest Milfordian boy to succumb to delusions of tank town grandeur.
I was so taken by following The Sec-Pel’s train of thought, that I almost didn’t notice that he was making this pitch to Gil and Kaz in panel two. Gil looks like he’s about to fall over backwards drunk while Kaz is reminiscing about his bouncer days as he flexes intimidatingly in an attempt to shoo Kevin away.
Meanwhile, in panel three… Uh, hey, let’s all just pretend panel three didn’t happen.