December 23, 2014
Due to holiday related activities, posts for today and tomorrow were going to be brief anyway.* However, now that I’ve seen panel one, I am going to shut my computer down and try to unsee what I have seen. Look, I am aware of all internet tradtions and I understand that Rule 34 is a real thing, but I am going to have to say ‘no thank you’ when it comes to graphic depictions of Kaz rubbing the trophy and talking about ‘good weird’. Sorry, guys and gals, but this is just a bridge too far.
* I’m not even sure why I feel somewhat obligated to make excuses about the brevity of my posts anymore…
[edited to add recycled art tag]
Maxwell Bacon (a name which has surely been used on the State Fair Pig Racing Circuit) shines in practice, but Gil and Kaz are underwhelmed by their overall roster. There is no size on this squad. Gil has already dismissed True Standish’s basketball overture. Will he rethink it? Will he chase Omari Troy down the hall and ask him to rethink his decision to back out of basketball? Those options sound like work (and also require that Gil relinquish the moral high ground). Tradition dictates that Gil will stand pat and wait for something random and improbable to either improve his squad or at least distract us from his pee wee squad’s dismal prospects (unless there is a basketball version of the Wing T).
It looks like we missed the parade. We do get a nice view of the state championship trophy, which is easily the weirdest looking thing we’ve seen here in a while. The state chooses to remain anonymous and has also declined to personalize the trophy in any way. At least they put the year on it.
What does this thing remind you of?
Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t throw in another plug for the Commemorative T-Shirt available now here. Thank you to G-Man for setting that up.
December 2, 2014
Panel One: Nice competition here between Gil and Kaz as to who can make the more meaningless statement. My vote goes to Gil for the ‘pump them up, settle them down’ line as I have no idea how (or even why) that would work.
Panel Two: Wait, hasn’t Milford won the championship before? Did we have a reboot when the creators changed? That could play holy hell with the xls.
Panel Three: There’s been a fair amount of speculation that Milford is in Ohio, but I don’t think that’s the Horseshoe. For that matter, though, I’m not able to tell if that’s supposed to be Spartan Stadium either. Regardless, it is reassuring to know that Gil’s pep talk is a rambling monologue replete with a variation on the old ‘the field is the same as the one we used to play on’ chestnut.
November 11, 2014
Guys, I think Whigrub is employing some strategery here as there is simply too much weirdness going on in today’s strip for me to focus on any single aspect of it properly. That said, here goes:
Panel one: So, Jarrod isn’t burning True, but is instead whining about getting more playing time. Which, doesn’t make any sense? Isn’t Jarrod now playing wide receiver in addition to being the backup QB? Whatever, it is interesting that Gil has an XKCD cast poster framed on his office wall.
Panel two: OK, this came up in comments but seriously, what the heck do these guys teach? Perhaps, Kaz’s scribblings on the whiteboard can illuminate this for us. Here are my best guesses:
Hmmm, nope. I am afraid I can’t crack The Kazinski Code here no matter how I try to parse that daunting cryptological conundrum up there on the board.
Panel three? Wait. What? OK. I’m done here.
“It’s my ankle coach – but it’ll be okay if you need me.”
“Huh? Okay? Wha? Let’s just get moving before that truck flattens us like pancakes!”
“Truck? I thought the Goshen players had summoned their craft to take them back to Tralfamadore.”
“Tralfamadore? I thought the Goshen home world was Melmac? We don’t have time for this nonsense. Let’s get over to the bench so we can move this plot, in which Goshen and their lousy football team is merely a footnote, forward. Over to you Gil.”
“Plot? Over to you, Gil?? Coach, are we real?”
“There’s no time for this now. Limp this way.”
“Jarrod – you’re in for True!”
“For True? For real? seewhatIdidthere?”
“Shut yer yap, Prom Prince and do what you’ve been dreaming of since the second grade.”
“Okay coach, but who else is going to be in my internationally acclaimed boy band, that guy back there in the towel? He doesn’t have any moves!”
“Focus Jarrod. Remember that whole quarterbacking thing you’ve been griping about all season?”
“Oh yeah! Am I going in? For True?”
“Geez! Hey Coach Shaw, do we have any smelling salts?”
And now, football! Look at that handoff!
Speaking of handoffs, if anybody watched the Florida/Georgia game on Saturday, boy did you see a lot of handoffs. It was stunning how Georgia was unable to stop Florida’s running game, even if it was pretty much the same plays being run over and over again with only six passing plays mixed in throughout the whole game. I hope Emmitt Smith was watching that game somewhere. I’m sure Fred Taylor was.
This has been a non-solicited, Gator football update by a (mostly) indifferent Gator football fan. Thanks for tuning in.
November 1, 2014
That smoke you see in front of Marty’s crate? It’s from
a) Milford’s season going down in flames
b) True’s scholarships going up in smoke
c) The meth True’s been smoking (oh, wait, not that kind of tweaking)
d) Jarrod’s ears, as he contemplates the trifecta of winning Junior Attendant, catching a TD pass, and leading the team onward to victory on Homecoming
e) Marty’s mom’s ears, as she hears her son’s poor grammar from the kitchen above
f) All of the above
I want to run with this like a pair of scissors but I’m content to let y’all do that today. I have plans to celebrate The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party from afar.
October 29, 2014
Oh, the many faces of Gil we’ve been treated to lately. Dude is an emotive whirlwind.
In panel one, we get sassy Gil where he shares his suspicions that Marty doesn’t actually have a job. We’re with ya on that one, Gil.
Panel two brings us coy Gil. Ah, poor Marty, Gil will never let you know what is really going on in his heart. No wonder you have such complicated issues with both Gil and the wider world. Hey, at the end there, is Kaz agreeing with Gil or is he including himself as one of the reasons the team is so great?
And that’s all of the Gil we get for today because in panel three we get… Nightmare fuel. Here’s a tip: don’t read the last panel right before going to be lest you be haunted by this ghoulish triad of faceless cheerleaders. What is even going on at the end of the central figure’s right arm I can’t bare to contemplate further although you all are welcome to speculate in the comments!