This Week in Milford

September 23, 2022

MeeMaw who??

Boy we have a lot to get to here so lets get crackin–

  1. Most girls dont wear torn-sleeve muscle shirts. Guys do, like me. Keri is a girl as far as I know.
  2. How does Keri already know how to drive? Isnt she a freshman? (I already related how only seniors could drive at my school.)
  3. Its ok to like Iggy Pop but who the hell is that on her T-shirt?
  4. The way the window/door is in the background indicates the room is not Keri’s bedroom but likely the living room. If so, why the hell is Iggy Pop on the wall in the living room? Gil put that there? Egads!
  5. I thought Jami was older then Keri. And HE needs a ride?
  6. Whoever the hell Meemaw Debbie is, why does Jamie have to make a deal like that? Mimi should only accept a yes or no answer. And its wrong for Mimi to accept that deal. Apparently Meemaw Debbie only plays right after school. Otherwise why cant one of the parents drive Jami to Lukes house? Good Lord.
  7. And now Gil is concerned about Luke being a bad influence on Jami. Cripes, my parents wern’t saying stuff like that when I needed a ride somewhere. They trusted that my friends were ok.
  8. Mimi, whats better, a bad friend or no friend? Apparently she doesnt care. Hey, hang around with a drug dealer for all I care. You need to make friends dude!!

September 21, 2022

It Must’ve Been Zane Clark’s Doing

How bleeding edge are we now, kids? The Linda Lindas’ new album is their first album, released only this past June. They’d previously released an EP in 2020. Their breakout hit was “Racist, Sexist Boy” which kinda seems on brand for the nu-look Gil Thorp. Here they are performing it at a public library, which kinda seems on brand for the old-look Gil Thorp.

Rock ‘n Roll Thursday comes a day early to TWIM, then.

That, in a nutshell, is what today’s strip is all about: getting past the hard candy shell of modern society to get to the chewy middle of adolescent desire to be popular and part of a group. Look beyond the hijab-clad volleyball player and her brown-bagged meal (possibly halal, because the MHS cafeteria can’t be trusted) and see the girl who wants to let her circle of friends know she’s hip to the latest music. Look past Arianna’s acknowledgement of the hijab-clad girl (who hasn’t been given a name yet IIRC) and see the girl who wants her friends to know she uses Urban Dictionary. Look beyond Keri’s suddenly green-dyed hair and bejeweled everything and see the girl whose nose is out of joint because she’s not in the team picture one of her teammates took and posted to social media.

So sit back, relax, and watch the old Too Cool For School drama play out with a bunch of new faces. At this rate, we’ll probably see more of that than we will of Mudlark football.

September 14, 2022

More Pronoun Trouble

Football season! Volleyball season!

Here we go again, but it’s not a dispute as to whether sportsball should take precedence over non-sportsball extracurriculars but the modern problem of remembering what pronouns people choose to identify themselves. Today, Toby née Tabatha identifies as he/him, Keri identifies as they/them, and Gil identifies as coach/Coach.

Now why are these three having this little confab at The Bucket of all places? (And why are they having coffee? Don’t they know there’s a cantina in town for that?) Are they here to pick up them after their postgame dinner? Are they serving as their chaperones for said dinner? Is it time for a jangle-off as Mel and Mimi see who can rattle their jewelry the loudest? Winner gets Gil – if she wants him, that is.

The unspoken tension here is so thick you could cut it with a butter knife, not unlike the one Mimi’s twisting into Mel as she deadnames Toby. Clearly she hasn’t forgotten that Mel wanted to be her at one time. Meanwhile Gil, still aware of that history and that Mimi is unhappy in the marriage, tries to play the supportive husband by throwing out a patronizing “sweetie.” Will Mimi have the divorce papers served publicly to Gil right here in The Bucket, the way Jason Sudeikis had Olivia Wilde served with custody papers while she was presenting at CinemaCon?

One thing is clear: despite Mel’s claim, in Milford, nothing is the same as it was.

edit: Oops! I forgot to identify the players from the Dolphins’ No-name Defense I posted this past Saturday!

Front, reclining: Lloyd Mumphord, CB

Front row, left to right: Bob Matheson, LB; Bill Stanfill, DE; Bob Heinz, DT; Manny Fernandez, DT; Vern Den Herder, DE

Center: Nick Buoniconti, LB

Back row, left to right: Dick Anderson, SS; Curtis Johnson, CB; Mike Kolen, LB; Doug Swift, LB; Tim Foley, CB; Jake Scott, FS

September 9, 2022

Bonfire? No, volleyball..

Filed under: confusing dialogue, Milford Alumni, Pissy faced minor character, Volleyball — robmize2013 @ 6:03 pm

As we wait anxiously for the annual bonfire to kick off the football season (if there is any) we hone in on a JV volleyball game coached by Cami Ochoa, who was just a student lo a few months ago. Yes all of us go through the thought of someone younger then us in a leader position as we get further away from high school (the school principal at mine is only 2 years older then me, and the football coach is 17 years younger). Its tricky to have respect for someone who used to be your colleague but good coaches and leaders draw the line between friendship and coaching your friends. I never wanted to get too close to any of my bosses or players I coached/managed. And I hope Cami follows that edict. But we’ll see.

Dont know why the team is proud of Cami yet. Unless its for being hired to coach them at such a young age.

Then in P3 we have a suggestion that ‘they’ dont care if its her first game. Who, the other team, or her players that just said they did? Im adding ‘confusing dialogue’ to our list of categories, as this was a staple of the old regime. Say one thing and mean up to 3 different things. Bada bing bada boom. And we’ll see if miss orange hair becomes one of the troublemakers/protaganists for the fall stroyline.

Myself, I’d prefer blocking and tackling. And a bonfire.

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