“Know Who Else Tries to Catch Two Balls in the Dark? My Mom!”

Sorry, folks, I had to do it again. The setup was just there.

There is just really no point to this. The blind kid – who may not be blind after all(?) – is now gonna have two blindfolded kids throw balls at him simultaneously? If they’re lucky, everyone will just flail and nobody will get hurt. I still can’t get over how everyone involved with this strip seems to think baseball and softball involve the same pitching mechanics and even use the same sized ball thrown from the same distance from home plate. Sheesh.

The Chief must miss drawing Kaz on the regular. He’s added Kaz’s forelock first to Gil and now to Gregg.

I got nothing more for this right now. Thinking about it makes my brain hurt. Maybe I’ll sweat in my eyes and have a bright idea later.

At Least It’s Not In the Bandar Tongue

I don’t know about y’all but I’m convinced this whole junket is an elaborate scam by Coach Kim to get a trip to see his fam on the taxpayer’s Luke’s dime.

What could Luke possibly say to Kwan to convince him to come to the US and A to play for Valley Tech? He doesn’t speak Korean, if the convo thus far is any indication. I’m envisioning some sort of loud, slow, horrible pidgin talk like the kind we used to see in old movies. A thinly veiled appeal to avenge imagined dishonor by Gil. Some BS about fast tracking Kwan to MLB via the Valley. It shouldn’t take Kwan long to see that Luke is all hat and no cowboy.

Serious question to Henry, if you’re still reading our dreck: How have you envisioned Valley Tech in your new Thorpiverse? You’ve put it in Milford, along with Milford High. Is the parochial school, St. Fabian, still there too? Is Valley Tech a trade school? STEM magnet school? Public or private? If public, where did the money for this trip come from? Did the basketball team really sell that many donuts?

Your Moment of Minutiae: Nice to see some baseball unis that aren’t a bunch of repetitive pastels or splashes of red on areas that weren’t meant to be colored. Getting a nice, stark White Sox vibe from them. I’ve not watched much KBO League action compared to Japanese ball, but I’ve seen enough to know that players can have triple digit uniform numbers (rendered in Arabic characters).

Tae Kwan Don’t

The madness continues as it appears our pal Luke is heading to….Korea……to…recruit a high school baseball player??? NOW????

Its fucking May 15th! You mean to fuckin tell me he’s still putting his damn roster together??

If he dont have his team together by now, jesus christ, by the time this dude decides whether or not he want to come to America and settle in Central City everyone will be on summer vacation.

God damn it Barajas you really think anyone with half a brain would fly out to freakin Korea ……………………………………………..

…………….JUST IN CASE A PROSPECT THATS A RELATIVE OF YOUR ASSISTANT COACH MAY WANT TO NOT ONLY PLAY FOR YOUR HIGH SCHOOL TEAM BUT ALSO ATTEND THAT PARTICULAR SCHOOL, AND ALSO LIVE IN THE UNITED FREAKIN STATES OF AMERICA??

AND AFTER YOURE ON THE PLANE IS NOT THE TIME TO ASK WHETHER SOMEONE PERHAPS WANTS TO PLAY FOR YOU!! . DO YOU HEAR ME LUKE????

I DONT CARE IF THE DUDE THROWS 200 MPH OR HAS A 1.000 BATTING AVERAGE OR HAS A LAUNCH ANGLE OF .850 OR WHATEVER THAT IS, YOU STILL HAVE A SHITLOAD OF DETAILS TO WORK OUT BEFORE THIS KOREAN NIGHTMARE TAKES THE FIELD FOR CENTRAL CITY.

HEY LUKE, THE “KOREAN NIGHTMARE” WILL BE YOUR TRIP OUT THERE WITH YOUR ASSISTANT WHILE YOUR TEAM PLAYS GAMES WITHOUT YOU AND YOU FIND OUT AFTER ALL THIS TRAVEL THAT THE KID ISNT INTERESTED.

WOULDNT THAT BE A KICK IN THE NUTS???

Everybody Wants Out

The basketball arc has gotten so random that the characters have started to have enough. Cami Ochoa didn’t sign on for this when she was promoted from super soph to coach, so she’s calling an Uber to get her the hell out of here. Even Rod has had enough and is faking his own death after the block (or was it a charge? Come on, ref, do your job!).

Credit where credit is due as Barajas pulls this twist out of an actual sporting event. Didn’t expect it to be last season’s Bengals-Bills MNF game* with Rod in the Damar Hamlin role, though.

Whatever the opposite of credit where credit is due for having Tobe attempt to come to Rod’s rescue. He’s already been Mary Sued** into a multi-sport star; now he knows CPR? One PE class lesson doesn’t make you an expert. Gil – or, more likely, Trainer Rick Scott*** – would have pulled Tobe off Rod like a tick.

The EMT (Gil, in a Marine flashback, calls him a medic) can tell Rod’s faking it and is taking his sweet time getting to the kid.

Tomorrow, a meteor hurtles toward the Jefferson gym.

*And no, I’m not linking to it. We’ve seen it enough.

**Mary Sued, that is, if Barajas had been an athlete.

***Anyone seen Trainer Rick Scott lately? Another victim of budget cuts?

Can I Get A Lift?

Sorry, no commentary from me today. If any team members want to chime in and/or tag this post, feel free.

Guess Luke is a midget

I guess the Lift-A-Thon is outside, on a nice day I might add. Its only early March; out here and in the Midwest in general the weather is way too iffy in March to have an event of this type outdoors. But on we go. Of course Luke acts stand-offish when Gil merely states his name, as if Luke expected Gil to be shocked at his presence at this event, even though we all knew damn well that these 2 were gonna run into each other here and have a showdown like the OK Corral in the old West.

P2- why is Gil lifting the weights behind his back? Sure seems harder that way. Just clean and jerk over your head doofus. Like this–

501 pounds. Take that you wimps of the comic strip. Gil wouldnt be talking in mid-lift if he was really lifting some serious weight. Vasily is a study in concentration back in the 70’s as he got it up to 528 pounds over his head. He probably couldve lifted 600 but he wanted to break his own record slowly.

Who’s the boss?

I’m looking at P1 and I honestly cant tell which leg is which on the Bradley guy. Guess its a mark of good artwork to be able to draw like that. But thats about the only positive today.

Another non-Milford game thats become a pattern in the new regime, hey why not waste panels on other schools while the Larks are blowing out Goshen by 30? How can we evaluate Milfords season properly when we spend about 3 seconds on it a month? And its February gang. If Lubre’s team hasnt got the hang of ball protection by now, they never will.

And my god, what does the head coach missing ONE practice have to do with the teams sloppy play for ONE GAME??? Hey Kim, you have a mouth too. Cant you do any leading? You coach long enough and you’ll have nights like this no matter how much flexing in the mirror you do off-site.

I didnt watch Whos the Boss but I sure know Alyssa Milano; man does she look young!

They seem confident, but Toby’s looking a little jaundiced tbh

Second day in a row and third of six this past week on Rod and Tobe selling vapes. That’s practically a complete story arc in the nu-look Thorpiverse. Still some dots to connect, as usual. Where are they getting the vapes? Where is the chocolate going? Is it straight up barter or are there additional steps in between? Are tattoos and legit DVDs doctored to look fake somehow involved?

Coach Ochoa* is playing bag lady for these two and she’s probably better off not knowing where the money came from. Plausible deniability could go a long way for her and Gil when this racket gets busted and Dr. Pearl comes headhunting.

Chief Lind’s officers will have no problem picking these two miscreants out in that blaze orange shitbox that must’ve come off Foxy’s lot. No problem hauling them in either, as long as they stay away from the trunk. What’s in there with the candy bars that has the power to change the color of clothing and skin? J. Frank Parnell’s aliens? Marsellus Wallace’s briefcase? Bitcoin?

*Who is Coach Ochoa coaching, exactly? The only strips we’ve seen in this season had her holding Gil’s balls in a sack or running the Milford boys through a dribbling two balls at once drill. Is there no Milford girls’ team this season? Some confirmation would be nice (hint, hint).