This Week in Milford

October 30, 2014

Junior Achievement

October 30, 2014


In the immortal words of Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent, “What the heck?”

Since when have high school homecoming king/queen/court elections been anything other than popularity contests? Okay, okay, don’t answer that. I see now that some of the more enlightened homecoming court selection committees of today apply more rigorous standards, including “involvement in clubs, organizations and athletics; leadership skills; community service; academics; and awards” as well as essay writing and panel interviews.

Nothing in this entire months-long story arc has given us any indication that Jarrod is popular, involved in anything other than football, is academically stellar, or has won any awards. We’ve been told he has “leadership skills” but they’ve never amounted to more than berating his teammates to improve their performance. (I can, however, imagine his essay: “Honest, I’ve wanted to be Milford’s junior attendant since third grade.”) Nope, the only way I’m buying this ridiculous plot development is if it’s part of a ballot-stuffing initiative by his teammates to get the pouty douchebag to smile.

Jarrod shares his spot on the homecoming court with one of the office staff at a Tampa elementary school.

On to the action. Glad the guy with the Toyota truck with the lightbar showed up again. Typically, Rubin sums up big Mudlark wins in a single strip – often a single panel – while losses (or unfortunate events in wins) get dragged out over days in Batiukian (Batiukish?) style. (Milford should get Westview on its non-conference schedule one of these days.) So what’s gonna rain on Milford’s homecoming parade this year?

October 21, 2014

Mama’s Boy?

October 21, 2014


Lot of confusing stuff today, but in the interests of (my) time, let’s just focus in on the panel three horror show.

Freak hand? – Check.
Bizarre facial hair? – Check.
Exploding eyeball? – that’s a big Check!
Unbuttoned shirt over black t-shirt? – Check.
Weird details? (The same artist who couldn’t put a G on Gil’s mug manages to cram in ‘izz’ on the pizza box? – Check.
Utter non sequitur induced confusion? – Checkmate! I have no clue what the hell is going on here.

August 7, 2014


Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 5:00 am

August 7, 2014


The past week’s worth of strips have all involved phones: from the smartphones the Milford kids use to watch clips of True, to the game of telephone they play in spreading the rumor that True’s coming to play for the Mudlarks, to the phone call from VT coach to Art, to the call from Coach Abbott to True (same call? I don’t think the coach would call True “Mr. Standish” unless as a lame attempt at flattery). Today the phone becomes True’s undoing as he cannot walk and reach for his at the same time. He’s not trying to chew gum, too, is he?

Astute TWIM commenter John S. Walters had this to say yesterday:

As for the strip, we get it, we get it: True is sick of football and wants to have a life the chalk lines. Give this strip’s usual packing, we’re in for a bunch more days of increasingly-obvious hints at his existential yearnings followed by a quick, unsatisfying conclusion when Rubin realizes that fall is upon us.

Well I’d say this is quick and unsatisfying – how ’bout you? It’s only a matter of days before True goes from 3-star prospect with major college program potential to scrub who’ll have to battle for a starting spot at Milford with less talented “leader” Jarrod Hale*. It has to be Milford, right? Gil’s the only coach who’s shown he cares about True the person by not talking with him about football.

I’ve tagged this strip “Exploding Eyeball Syndrome” but if I could tag it as “Exploding Toe, Foot, and Ankle Syndrome” I’d do that too.





*That is, if he can play at all.  In classic Gil Thorp “tell, don’t show” fashion, we’ve seen nothing in this entire arc that beyond hearsay and a still of him posing in uniform that proves he can.

July 26, 2014

Hello lamppost, what’cha knowing?

July 26, 2014


Well the high-speed collision between True and Gil I was so hoping for yesterday did not materialize. It would’ve been a good one, too, as we pan out to see a 7-foot-tall Gil emerge from a stonking big SUV of some kind (which looks like an amalgam of a Mitsubishi Montero and Nissan Armada with the front clip from an FJ62 Toyota Land Cruiser).

We’re left to guess what it was about Milford that drew True back. The Coffee Cantina’s Peaberry? A chance at running into Wendy Wiley or Molly Kinsella, who he’s seen so much of online? Surely it wasn’t that sentient lamppost that woman is waving to down the street.

June 21, 2014

Who are you, and what have you done with Paul Dillon?

June 21, 2014


My first thought when looking at this strip this morning:  When did Jordan Zimmermann turn lefty and start pitching for the Mudlarks?


Okay so maybe that’s not Zimmermann but it sure as heck isn’t the guy who nearly pitched a perfect game last month!


Maybe I stayed up too late watching last night’s Braves-Nats debacle and am not in my right mind.  In any case we get more setup for what Lucky may or may not do to impact his team’s fortunes next week. That good bunt has exploded Marty’s eyeball and sent a scar-like rivulet of sweat coursing down his face.

Anyway, first day of summer, y’all! Don’t worry about the Mudlarks (Gil sure won’t!), just get out there and enjoy the longest day of the year!

May 28, 2014

Windows to the Soul?

May 28, 2014


Well maybe Amy’s milkshake (or The Bucket’s) won’t bring Lucky to the yard after all. He’s just gonna stay home and rest his ey-  DEAR MOTHER OF GOD WHERE ARE HIS EYES???!!!1!?  Did he gouge them out in a depressed fit of self-mutilation? Did they explode one too many times? Did he take them out with his contacts? Is he pushing them back into his skull in P3, or does he just now realize he can’t see and is feeling around for them?

Horror movies in general don’t freak me out, with one notable exception: Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. I saw it when I was a kid and it scarred me for life. Was it the idea that nature could turn itself lethally upon man at any moment, seemingly without provocation? No, it was probably when Melanie came upon farmer Dan’s body, his eyes pecked out by the birds. If you haven’t seen that scene I’ll spare you that image and leave you with a slightly less traumatizing one.

Anyway it was that scene from The Birds that first sprang to my mind when I saw the image of Lucky’s empty eye sockets. Honestly, it’s got me so spooked I can’t even begin to contemplate what demons are causing young Conrad to spiral into a darkness far deeper than one might think he’d spiral after losing a perfect game for some southpaw junkballer.

May 10, 2014

Hold Up Your Hands

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 8:21 am

May 10, 2014


Am I jealous that Rob got to cover yesterday’s handpocalypse*? Yes, yes I am.

Am I revolted by the nauseating display of affectionate nose nuzzling going on in panel three? You betchya.

Do I appreciate the drawing of Luckey’s gape mouthed visage of terror in panel two? Heck yes.

Will I keep on answering my own questions with short affirmative answers instead of writing a real post today? So it seems.

Bonus points: My favorite windows make a nice comeback in panel one!

How much time do you think Whigham spends trying to make the appearances of Amy’s freckles consistent from panel to panel? I wonder if he regrets that character design decision or if he resents Rubin for insisting that the character have freckles…

* Handstravaganza? Handemonium? Handemic?

April 29, 2014

Kasey Goes Off With Her Bat

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands — timbuys @ 7:11 am

April 29, 2014


I have to preface this post by pointing out yet again that I really don’t know too much about high school baseball or softball. That said, is there some reason that Amy is apparently the only sub on the team? Apparently, Mimi is not even too sure if Amy can play third in the first place. This is somewhat similar to that initial conversation where Kaz and Gil discussed their lineup and appeared to grudgingly accept that the sole option they had at third was Luckey.

Let’s shift back to panels one and two. I think my eyeball would explode too if I was repeatedly called out on strikes by an umpire with such an insouciant expression and hirsute forearms. Threatening him with her bat, while no doubt satisfying, is probably a bad move on Kasey’s part as we’ve seen that, whereas psychos like Wynn can get away with practically anything, the ladies (at least Shelby Hunter anyway) get pretty prompt and harsh suspensions when they get out of line.

Bonus point: Any guesses what brand of bat that Kasey is using to menace the ump? The logo appears to be a mutant hammerhead shark or possibly a mangled J…

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