This Week in Milford

July 26, 2014

Hello lamppost, what’cha knowing?

July 26, 2014


Well the high-speed collision between True and Gil I was so hoping for yesterday did not materialize. It would’ve been a good one, too, as we pan out to see a 7-foot-tall Gil emerge from a stonking big SUV of some kind (which looks like an amalgam of a Mitsubishi Montero and Nissan Armada with the front clip from an FJ62 Toyota Land Cruiser).

We’re left to guess what it was about Milford that drew True back. The Coffee Cantina’s Peaberry? A chance at running into Wendy Wiley or Molly Kinsella, who he’s seen so much of online? Surely it wasn’t that sentient lamppost that woman is waving to down the street.

June 21, 2014

Who are you, and what have you done with Paul Dillon?

June 21, 2014


My first thought when looking at this strip this morning:  When did Jordan Zimmermann turn lefty and start pitching for the Mudlarks?


Okay so maybe that’s not Zimmermann but it sure as heck isn’t the guy who nearly pitched a perfect game last month!


Maybe I stayed up too late watching last night’s Braves-Nats debacle and am not in my right mind.  In any case we get more setup for what Lucky may or may not do to impact his team’s fortunes next week. That good bunt has exploded Marty’s eyeball and sent a scar-like rivulet of sweat coursing down his face.

Anyway, first day of summer, y’all! Don’t worry about the Mudlarks (Gil sure won’t!), just get out there and enjoy the longest day of the year!

May 28, 2014

Windows to the Soul?

May 28, 2014


Well maybe Amy’s milkshake (or The Bucket’s) won’t bring Lucky to the yard after all. He’s just gonna stay home and rest his ey-  DEAR MOTHER OF GOD WHERE ARE HIS EYES???!!!1!?  Did he gouge them out in a depressed fit of self-mutilation? Did they explode one too many times? Did he take them out with his contacts? Is he pushing them back into his skull in P3, or does he just now realize he can’t see and is feeling around for them?

Horror movies in general don’t freak me out, with one notable exception: Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. I saw it when I was a kid and it scarred me for life. Was it the idea that nature could turn itself lethally upon man at any moment, seemingly without provocation? No, it was probably when Melanie came upon farmer Dan’s body, his eyes pecked out by the birds. If you haven’t seen that scene I’ll spare you that image and leave you with a slightly less traumatizing one.

Anyway it was that scene from The Birds that first sprang to my mind when I saw the image of Lucky’s empty eye sockets. Honestly, it’s got me so spooked I can’t even begin to contemplate what demons are causing young Conrad to spiral into a darkness far deeper than one might think he’d spiral after losing a perfect game for some southpaw junkballer.

May 10, 2014

Hold Up Your Hands

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 8:21 am

May 10, 2014


Am I jealous that Rob got to cover yesterday’s handpocalypse*? Yes, yes I am.

Am I revolted by the nauseating display of affectionate nose nuzzling going on in panel three? You betchya.

Do I appreciate the drawing of Luckey’s gape mouthed visage of terror in panel two? Heck yes.

Will I keep on answering my own questions with short affirmative answers instead of writing a real post today? So it seems.

Bonus points: My favorite windows make a nice comeback in panel one!

How much time do you think Whigham spends trying to make the appearances of Amy’s freckles consistent from panel to panel? I wonder if he regrets that character design decision or if he resents Rubin for insisting that the character have freckles…

* Handstravaganza? Handemonium? Handemic?

April 29, 2014

Kasey Goes Off With Her Bat

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands — timbuys @ 7:11 am

April 29, 2014


I have to preface this post by pointing out yet again that I really don’t know too much about high school baseball or softball. That said, is there some reason that Amy is apparently the only sub on the team? Apparently, Mimi is not even too sure if Amy can play third in the first place. This is somewhat similar to that initial conversation where Kaz and Gil discussed their lineup and appeared to grudgingly accept that the sole option they had at third was Luckey.

Let’s shift back to panels one and two. I think my eyeball would explode too if I was repeatedly called out on strikes by an umpire with such an insouciant expression and hirsute forearms. Threatening him with her bat, while no doubt satisfying, is probably a bad move on Kasey’s part as we’ve seen that, whereas psychos like Wynn can get away with practically anything, the ladies (at least Shelby Hunter anyway) get pretty prompt and harsh suspensions when they get out of line.

Bonus point: Any guesses what brand of bat that Kasey is using to menace the ump? The logo appears to be a mutant hammerhead shark or possibly a mangled J…

April 24, 2014

But, Without The E-Y, Wouldn’t It Spell…

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Pantheon of Mysterious Objects — timbuys @ 8:48 am

April 24, 2014


This so sweet that I think we’ll give Luckey a break on the whole spelling thing. I will note that Lucky is apparently a little more on the ball than Jack Metzger when it comes to wooing the ladies in Milford: Viz., when you see your sweetie carrying a stack of books, you just go right on letting her carry them. Conrad must have picked that one up from Don Stebbins.

Not much else for me to say about today’s strip other than to note the foreboding of Amy’s exploding eyeball in panel three. Is that signaling her surprise? dismay? delight? Who can say when it comes to matters of the heart?

Bonus points: 20 TWIM credits to whoever does the best job explaining what that mysterious object in panel one (two rows of hash marks above two sets of parallel horizontal lines?) is.

Is it just me or does it look like Mr. Haskins has put on about forty pounds in panel one?

April 2, 2014

Proud Flesh

April 2, 2014


It was just a couple of days ago when Rob commented “Whats he gonna do at bat on an inside pitch? You cant live on HBPs like Ron Hunt.” Well, it looks like Lucky’s gonna give it the old Milford try.

Where the hell is he standing, anyway? In fair territory, up the first base line?  Of course he’s gonna get drilled!

Nice double entendre from Lucky in P3, as his hip is not only self-congratulatory but also already developing new connective tissue and blood vessels as it heals.


March 26, 2014

Root Beer Reinforcement

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 8:07 am

As of this writing, the unofficial results of our root beer poll show the venerable A&W brand winning by a comfortable margin. Barq’s (really?!) pulled into a surprising second place finish with strong turnout from its partisans overnight. I’d like to say this is a triumph for a New Orleans based scrappy upstart that doesn’t try to win popularity with trivial things like tasting good, but let’s face it, Barq’s is fully owned by the Coca-Cola company and, despite being fairly popular amongst the New Orleanians I used to know when I lived there, is just awful. My own favorite, Saint Arnold Root Beer, did fairly well in the comments section which just goes to show the great taste of most TWIM readers. Commenter Downpuppy stated that drinking ‘sweatsock squeezings’ is preferable to drinking root beer, so I guess we’ll have to count that as another vote for Barq’s. With that exciting update, let’s turn to today’s strip:

March 26, 2014


Huh… well, as exactly everyone guessed, Lucky did get doused in root beer, rather viscous root beer at that… must be the Milford local brand. It appears as though the egg rolls are headed his way too. With his luck, he’ll probably end up choking on them. Be sure to tune in tomorrow as we eagerly await the next terrible thing to happen to our good friend Lucky!

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