This Week in Milford

December 1, 2016

At Least Dick Butkus Didn’t Get WHUDed By A Girl

Filed under: actual action, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, football, Marty Moon — nedryerson @ 7:17 am

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Marty be like…

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So our astute commentariat know what a draw is and also recognize how obvious a choice it is as a counter to a team with blitzing tendencies.  Seriously, you guys have been all over it, stripping most of the meat off that bone.

So, I guess now we move on to dissecting the action as described in Shuford’s run. The kindest criticism I can level at it is that two panels are not nearly enough to show me how all this action unfolded without questioning the fundamental logic of geometry and defensive fundamentals. Also, if Austin Shuford was that much of an elusive open field runner, why hasn’t he been more involved in the offense?

Have at it folks.

November 25, 2016

And the plotline wheel spins round and round

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Gil Thorp, Trainer Rick Scott — robmize2013 @ 8:21 pm

Yeah I got plenty of playing time Friday – been out in the dark almost every day with the sun going down and a truckload of parcels. But back to the story. Trainer Rick leaked Heathers non-injury to Gil, and he will now punish her for this malfeasance by throwing her to the wolves, or whoever theyre playing Friday. Is he teaching her a lesson in integrity or just telling her – if you cant be one of the regular players, then you cant be on the team. No more special treatment Missy.

November 24, 2016

Rick Scott Don’t Need This Crap

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, football, Trainer Rick Scott — nedryerson @ 5:24 am

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Looks like HE the TE is still several steps ahead of the Milford coaching staff and she’s taking it upon herself to exit the game. That’s just swell.

Panel 1 has one of those M.C. Escher like illusions where Trainer Rick Scott is next to Heather from the waist up but behind her from the waist down. In Panel 2, Trainer Rick Scott is at his Jean Luc Picard-iest. Dr. Pearl, here’s my completed retirement packet. Make it so!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Stay safe.

 

October 8, 2016

Far Hipsters

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The technique of aiming for the runner’s far hip with a handoff is widely accepted; hey, if it was good enough for Bud Wilkinson it’s good enough for me.  I expect that Heather Burns can read as well as any Milfordian (especially since all those little free libraries have been springing up around town) but I expect even more some sort of backstory/exposition about her quarterback coaching skills, and sooner* than later.

Those exploding fingers on The Secret Pelwecki’s near hip: sign of a romantic spark or something Rick Scott will have to tape up and splint on Monday? On that note, musical inspiration for today:

metapost: If you are or have been in the path of Hurricane Matthew, give us a shout out and let us know you’re okay. You’ll recall from my Christmas 2015 metapost that I’ve spent some time in Charleston and have friends and family there and so have spent the bulk of the day trying to keep tabs on them. I’ve not heard from Mr. Bakst, although he was rumored to have been last seen with The Gray Man of Pawley’s Island.

*See what I did there?

September 22, 2016

Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t, Coach for Gil for Free

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The Secret Pelwecki’s Other Ball just dropped from the arm of the Oakwood running back, giving the Mudlarks’ sputtering offense a shot at getting back in the game. Leading with his head helped Kevin jar the ball loose, but I’m sure that’s not the way Gil wants to see his quarterback use his head.

Speaking of quarterbacks, new assistant trainer Heather Burns has her own opinions about Milford’s. Could it be that the mediocre soccer player doesn’t want to use Rick Scott to sidle her way to becoming the Mudlarks’ placekicker, but to become their quarterbacks coach? Wasn’t one Bobby Howry enough this decade? Or could it be that she actually wants to become the quarterback herself?  By the way, whatever happened to Jarrod Hale?

Pantheon of Hair Dept.: That bowl cut with the keyhole bangs that Whigham is so fond of drawing and that would not look out of place in an Our Gang Comedy.

September 14, 2016

Those Soccer Balls Seem Very Large

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, exposition comics, freak hands, soccer — timbuys @ 6:21 am

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I mean, I guess they’re in the foreground?

Anyway, Heather kind of sucks at soccer and Coach Dawes is finally opening up about it. It’s definitely a different flavor of Milford jerkiness…

July 25, 2016

“The Same Old Jerk,” or “What Rubin’s Doing to the Readers This Summer”

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There goes Ken talking about how “our friend died” again. Did we ever see him interact with Boo at any point prior to her death?

Never thought I’d get to use the “Bare Midriffs” tag but there ya go. Neither did I think we’d need an “Exploding Ear Wax Syndrome” tag. Darth Bader appears to be pulling his shirt down over said bare midriff, but the clenched fist and angle of his right hand (not to mention “the same old jerk”) suggest his other, less appealing nickname. He coulrd, of course, be getting ready to call Ken a wanker.

As Master Bader frames the picture, magically changing into a clerical collar, we await his shifting the blame from his father to technology, or the lack thereof.

July 23, 2016

Did Emeril Sponsor Today’s Strip?

Filed under: baseball, big arms, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 3:05 pm

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‘Cause we’ve gone from a BANG! to a BAM!

I’m not gonna play lawyer here and rehash any of the details of Del Bader’s first DUI or the accident that killed Boo Radley. I’ll just say that anything Ken Brown says or does to Barry Bader should go straight from Barry’s lips to Del’s stupid lawyer’s ears…

… that is, once Barry picks his lips up off the floor and gets them sewn back onto his face. It’s fixin’ to be on like Donkey Kong in the Milford locker room; it only remains to be seen who will step in and break up the melee: Gil (yeah, right), Kaz (even money) or (Specialiest Snowflake) True (possibly endangering his post-Milford sports career in the process).

Me, I’m pulling for Barry getting Hang ’em Hiatt recused from Del’s case, if only to add a new wrinkle to this slog.

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