This Week in Milford

October 10, 2020


Time for everybody’s favorite game, Monday Morning Saturday Night Quarterback.

Previously on TWIM, the consensus was that Gil was completely in the right for punishing Rapson for ignoring his play calls not once, but twice. In fact, many TWIMers thought that this punishment is too light – that Rapson should see the bench permanently if not be kicked off the team altogether. Instead, Gil’s just giving him a bit more in the way of conditioning.

Gil’s laid out his reasons and they’re sound ones, but let’s play Marty Moon for a minute, though, and poke some holes in that Thorpian logic.

Going back to Tuesday, there was 2:49 left (very precise of Rubin, no?) in the fourth quarter after Rapp’s TD pass put the Mudlarks up 28-13. Thursday before last they were up 21-6 when Thayer muffed the exchange. The Ballard Bruins marched right down the field to make it an eight-point game, 21-13, sometime in the fourth. How much time was left in the game when Ballard scored? There must have been enough for them to believe they’d get the ball back at least once, hence not going for two.

The Milford offense goes back on the field with Rapson under center and directions to get “a couple of first downs, and then… head to The Bucket.” Why did Gil yank his starting QB with his team only up by one score? Nice vote of confidence there, Gildeaux; one miscue and you’re on the bench. As for the “ball security” angle, if you’ve been doing nothing but running the ball all night, doesn’t that make your offense extremely predictable? The Bruins could load up the box, stuff the run, get the ball back and march down the field on the Mudlark defense once again. We didn’t hear anything about that sieve.

First play, Rapson calls his audible and Dallas George’s number on an end-around (which is NOT the same thing as a reverse, Gil!). If Gil’s so quick on the trigger with his signal callers, why didn’t he bench Rapp right then and there? I get that you want to keep things vanilla in the non-conference part of your schedule, but does Gil really have only one trick play? The excuse that you’re saving your trick play for a conference game makes about as much sense as not putting miles on your car so you’ll get more money when it comes time to trade it in, or as not having sex with your wife so that there aren’t as many miles on her for her next husband. Did it ever dawn on him that he could still use that play as a decoy later in the season, for example faking the end-around and running a draw or play-action pass?

Let’s move on to the next play. The Mudlarks picked up a first down and ran some time off the clock. We only know in hindsight that there were probably more than three minutes left in the game. We have no idea where the line of scrimmage was when Rapson threw the pass, nor do we know how many timeouts each team had. Giving Gil a little credit for restating the obvious, Curtis Charles scores the touchdown because the Bruin defender slipped (and Curtis danced a little jig over his body). Why does Gil assume that the pass would’ve been incomplete or picked off if the defender hadn’t slipped? Look at P1 in that last linked strip. Charles is bigger and taller than the Ballard player and has gotten inside of him. Who’s to say Charles doesn’t make the catch and bull over the Bruin into the end zone? Even if he makes the catch and gets tackled immediately, it’s still another first down and time to start taking knees. Who’s to say if Charlie Roh had run it up the gut again, he wouldn’t have gotten stuffed or stripped of the ball? The play worked, but it might not have, and if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle.

So have at it in the comments, TWIMers. Let’s enjoy the pissiest of pissy Gil faces we’ve seen in some time and hope that smug look on his face doesn’t cause him to trip over that coffee mug he set down behind himself. Gil has made it clear he calls the shots, but what he doesn’t do is instill confidence in his players.

June 22, 2016

Are They At The Store While Practice Is Ongoing?

Filed under: exploding mailboxes, Fontastic, Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp — timbuys @ 6:42 am


Mostly questions today…

P1: Is it me or is that shopping basket quite narrow? Did Mimi write their shopping list on a business card? What’s in the multiple sacks they have at the bottom?

P2: Did Gil really blow off his role as an authority figure because it would be a hassle?

P3: Who are these girls of whom Gil asks? Shouldn’t we be talking about Ken and Barry and True and, I dunno, Mike Granger?

March 8, 2010

About (sucking) face

Filed under: exploding mailboxes, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces, sucking face — jasbeattie @ 9:12 am


Those third panel floating hearts are way lame. Probably ’cause Whigham spent all his effort on shading the nooks and crannies of the first panel.


This whole story really puts the “suck” in sucking face. I would have rather followed the plot where Gil became the Count of Milford.

June 2, 2009

Worst…Swimsuit Competition…Ever.

Filed under: exploding mailboxes, What the hell is going on here? — jasbeattie @ 10:41 pm

I’d try to add insight to this comic, but I seriously have no earthly idea what is going on anymore. Will all these hideously dressed teenagers end up wearing a case of Nutboys? Perhaps. When Clambake starts making more sense than the current plot, you know it’s time to pack it in…

May 29, 2007

Explosive Commentary

Filed under: exploding mailboxes, kaz-bot — jasbeattie @ 9:30 am

Jason has left the safe confines of the blog-o-sphere in order to go interact with other humans face-to-face for a few days. In his absence the automatic Gil Thorp blogging robot KAZ-BOT will be filling in!

KAZ-BOT answers reader questions today!

Hi KAZ-BOT. So what’s the deal, is Jason ever coming back?

KAZ-BOT believes the slacker human may resurface tomorrow. KAZ-BOT has certainly had enough of this nonsense for a few months and will not be posting again tomorrow.

What’s going on in the plot over the last few days?

KAZ-BOT feels the transpirings of Milford over the last 5 days are really too complex to go into detail here.

You said it. I certainly can’t believe what all happened myself. Everything certainly moved either too fast or too slow, was either confusing or dull, but most definitely was unrealistic and didn’t feature enough things blowing up.

KAZ-BOT feels there is no such thing as too many explosions.

One more, while I got you here…so why does Coach Kaz wear two giant pearl earrings?

Coach Kaz is a cyborg. Those aren’t earrings, they’re holes where death ray lasers shoot out when he gets mad.


 Nah. KAZ-BOT makes everything up like any good blogger. Now off to watch some huge explosions.

January 9, 2007

Previously, on “Gil Thorp, International Coach of Mystery!”…


Alright, Rick, I don’t care about this any more than you do, but there’s no need to be such a dick about it. Whatever story she comes up with, it will still be more interesting than your fluff piece on teachers’ nicknames.

And my, Helen’s become rather egotistical, hasn’t she…? She’s now “the Milford Star”? I really don’t think she’s earned that title yet…has she ever heard of a fellow named Stormy Hicks? (Hey Helen, after you rescue someone and fake rescue someone else, we’ll talk.) Do she really need to dredge up stories like this anyway? I guess she’s bored with having to write headlines like “Local Idiot Saws Off Own Leg with Chainsaw.” (ADDENDUM: after re-reading this I realized that “The Milford Star” is actually the horribly named local newspaper. I mistankenly, and more amusingly, read it as though Helen was referring to herself in the third person as “the Milford star.” I like that interpretation better, so I’m stickin’ to it.)

Panel 3 is kind of a weird panel, isn’t it? It’s way too dark and dramatic to portray what’s currently happening. But it looks good in trailers…What the hell am I talking about? Well, you’re likely starting to doze off about no-bid I.T. contracts and boring point guard battles, but I have the sure-fire cure…it’s the cartoon equivalent to the super-awesome action-packed clips they run at the beginning of your favorite TV shows, (you know, like “24” or “Quincy M.E.”). Check this out:


Now aren’t you excited to see what happens? I know I am…

October 14, 2006

Stuff exploding is cool

Filed under: actual action, exploding mailboxes, Gil Thorp, photoshop fun — jasbeattie @ 2:54 pm

Explosion in Gil Thorp! And not some stupid mailbox this time, but a friggin’ car explosion! How sweet is this? I suppose eventually we’ll have to deal with the aftermath comics of Stormy and Sean being portrayed as local heroes and everyone who hates them having to hang themselves in shame, but for now let’s just enjoy the moment, shall we?

The one thing that’s unclear to me…Is that Stormy or Sean in panel 3? At first I thought it was Sean, but maybe it’s Stormy, and Sean hads just been blown to smithereens. Unfortunately that seems kinda unlikely, doesn’t it?

The only way this could have ben cooler is if Gil’s head had exploded. Hmmmm, what would that look like?

Yeah, wow. That’s the stuff right there.

October 4, 2006

Stormy: More a tool than a dick

Filed under: comic crossovers, exploding mailboxes — jasbeattie @ 11:56 am

And so the crazy pace of the strip screeches to a halt. I guess it’s good for us to stop and catch our collective breath every once in a while, but why do we have to be stuck here? We only got to spend one lousy panel on exploding mailboxes, yet we’re gonna spend a full two strips (so far…stay tuned for more), on the mystery of the torn down posters? I forget whether having lots of crappy posters on the school walls (“Vote Croley”, what a slogan!) are even a crucial key to victory in a student election. Student Body V.P. is usually just some nerd position anyway, right? Why do they even care? Can’t we get back to, oh, anything else, like what may or may not be up Mrs. Ritter’s butt, for instance?

 Additional Thoughts:

  • Initial reports of Tina Croley’s possible secret hotness were horribly misinformed.
  • Sean Pettibone is all about the double-straw action!
  • I hate that tablecloth shirt Stormy wears.
  • Many readers seem to confuse Sean with Gil Thorp. The way you tell them apart is…uh, damn, they pretty much look identical, don’t they? When was the last time anyone saw them together?
  • At first I thought the Dick Tracy reference in the last panel was totally out of left field, since Stormy is a complete tool anyway. Then I did my requisite 5 minutes of research, and it dawned on me today is the 75th anniversary of that crappy historic comic! Happy birthday, ya old Dick. (I hadn’t realized it was now drawn by Bill Maher.) Too bad Gil Thorp is no Gasoline Alley, where Dick Tracy has inexplicably been running around in lame-meets-lame crossoverland. Then again, we never saw who made those mail calls. Maybe it was Pruneface!
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