This Week in Milford

January 20, 2018

Jadine, honey is that you?

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Okay, we get it. Paloma Padilla is suffering from survivor’s guilt of a sort, as she’s complained to her teammates at The Bucket for the past two days. Apparently when you say “chunky bracelets” they just bring you those, too. If this week has been prologue, we’ll spend the next couple of months having Paloma and everyone else tell us about things that happened that we never get to see happen.

Tell-Don’t-Show Disease has spread to Jacky Elenore (who Googles up a blank; guess that spelling throws things off) and Jadine Bynes, who rubs her cheek as if to show us some abrasion or contusion inflicted on her by Paloma. Jadine’s a veteran Lady Mudlark who’s used to getting knocked around by her teammates during practice. She should know how to handle that by now, assuming she’s gotten over those stomach problems.

I’m more impressed by Jacky’s ventriloquist act; throwing your voice while drinking water isn’t the easiest trick.

Today’s post title was a gimme. Get you some!

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January 11, 2018

I bet he can handle himself alright if he has to

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Born in Puerto Rico

Raised in Georgia

My mama gave me the basic facts of life (of life…)

 

On top of all that, he played for the Nats.* Geez, hasn’t Jorge Padilla suffered enough?

Today’s inspiration:

*He could instead be the economist or the lawyer, which would be par for the Rubin course.

January 6, 2018

Look for the Union Label

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Jordy Castillo was Milford baseball’s best story almost three years ago, but his story was never told.  Now it might be – or at least his backstory since then.  I think Kaz is trying to tell us Jordy went to play junior college (a/k/a “juco”) baseball, since junior chambers of commerce don’t typically have baseball programs.

Looks like Jordy’s already joined the union, if I read the lettering on his jacket correctly. What brings him to Gil’s office, and what’s captured his attention there?

“Say, Coach, that’s a nice team photo of your state football champions you got there. Looks like there’s some substandard wiring behind it, though. I heard the Milford School Board went with the lowest bidder when they upgraded, went with some scab – I mean, non-union – outfit to do the job.  It’d sure be a shame if it shorted out back here.  You could lose all these nice pictures, and that coffee pot, and your mug with your name on it… Oh, where was I? So, yeah, I’m an apprentice electrician now.”

It’s way too early to tell if Jordy is Chekhov’s electrician, but if this arc turns into a story about the current job market and the pursuit of a trade versus a college degree after high school it could be interesting, if not ham-fisted as per usual.

December 19, 2017

So, Does That Make Uncle Gary An Internet Pirate?

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Oh boy is Panel One ever so helpful in bringing us all up to speed. Thanks for the refresher Whigrub. Little Ricky’s bald spot seems to have migrated to the side of his head so that will bear monitoring I suppose.

I would like to point out all of the things which astound me about Panel Two but there’s no time as one’s attention is immediately captured by the magnificent bricks of the Ioan Anderson Travel agency. Besides which I believe the quoted text is more hilarious than anything which I’m likely to conceive.

Bonus commenter challenge: Identify each spectacular vacation vista beckoning to the odd passerby who might, on the spur of the moment, step into the office and embark on the voyage of a lifetime far from dreary and dilapidated Milford.

Metapost: We don’t have a tag and I can’t recall Kelly’s last name but this post should be tagged for her.  (I almost slipped and created a tag with a former colleague’s last name which was alliterative with her first name. Gonna guess that person doesn’t read the blog but still…)

Update: Tag for Kelly Krystek added thanks to the always reliable Maintainer of the Milford .xlsx, billytheskink!

Inspiration for today’s post title.

December 9, 2017

Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Dubai

December 8, 2017

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Wow, Rick Soto must’ve grown a foot and gained 100 pounds since he took that knee to the helmet. He looks like he could be selling Niblets. Again, there’s nothing in this strip that would hip the novice Gil Thorp reader to the dynamics at work here. Convos like this are no doubt playing out all over this land of ours on a regular basis, but in most cases I’d venture “your mother and I”  “your mother, my milquetoast sister and I, your creeper uncle who wants to make a buck off you.”

December 9, 2017

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I’d been waiting to throw today’s title out ever since Richard Soto, Sr. got his backstory, but at this point I don’t know if we’ll ever see him in person so I figured since he’s referenced today I might as well use it now.*  It’s almost as though Rubin invested so much effort into making Uncle Gary the evil father substitute that he forgot he had written in an actual father for Rick. Hence this quick-dump, poor excuse of a throwaway line to Andre to keep from having to develop that character, or have him behave as an actual father might when he learned about all that’s gone down this fall.

Nice to see the Milford Public Library stay relatively on-model.

*Also, it’s not baseball season but it’s still worth throwing out the origin of the song’s use in a sports context.

November 7, 2017

Oh Goody. More Waiting.

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Amazing. So, Gil’s brilliant strategy of implementing a new offense mid-season was based on, among other very dubious assumptions, the notion that it keys entirely off of one and only one player. That’s some coaching.

Panel 1: I had a job with a guy from the midwest who used ‘gents’ frequently. A recent development was that I had to work with/for him a lot more. I don’t work at that job anymore.

Panel 2: Should I recognize this guy? I sure should. He’s the dynamo who is driving the plot, Andre! Here he is as part of the crowd and here is where we confirm his name. We also see him here being kind of a jerk about supporting Little Ricky’s fledgling singing career. Way to go, Andre! That can-do spirit is exactly what the team will need while they are getting pounded into the turf at Tilden.

Panel 3: Speaking of jerks… Jeeze guys. Maybe save that talk for after practice. Are coaches Shaw and Boone the shadowy figures lurking in panel two? Guys! Gil and Andre can totally hear you.

Bonus Question: What is the purpose of that card Steve is holding? I checked the color version of the strip which shows that it’s a white, blank card.

Bonus Bonus Question: Speaking of, by what means is Steve’s towel suspended?

November 2, 2017

I Was Hoping It Was His Gary, Too

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Milford was up 10 on Madison day before yesterday. Did they score to make it closer? We’ll never know. We’ll miss out on a trip to The Bucket too since we have to ride home with Rick Soto’s mom and Uncle Astroturf. Fill in the blank: what was Uncle Gary’s glad it’s not his? Talk amongst yourselves.

Rick will get his big chance to sing the national anthem at next week’s game since he can’t play in it. (Nice cameo today by the late Bernie Casey as Rick’s real doctor.) Hopefully it’s a home game or else Gil, Dr. Pearl & co. will have to go through more machinations to help Rick pull that off. Such suspense!

October 12, 2017

The Best Singer (Or So We’re Told)

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So this is the song Rick Soto purportedly just sang*. I’m sure today’s strip just gave it dozens more hits on YouTube.

In true Rubin fashion we never get to read the lyrics coming from Rick’s mouth. Another tease, just like the tease that we may finally know the lyrics to Milford High’s fight song (and there were some good stabs at it in yesterday’s comments). Just another reminder of the weird pacing of this strip, in which the Mudlarks have played one game while high schools in the real world have mostly played at least six or seven.

In true Whigham fashion we get a Milford girl festooned with chunky bracelets and big earrings in the way no teenage girl accessorizes today. We also get Rick’s unnaturally flat palms facing the speaker in best back off ease up fashion, another Whigham hallmark. Finally, from the Pantheon of Hair Department it’s sideburns: Rick’s oddly shaggy ones and Pelwecki’s greasy strands that threaten to clump together as sideburns.

Wait – did someone mention the dozens? Maybe it’s time for a game.

“Pelwecki’s hair is so greasy, he could fry chicken in it.”

“Uncle Gary’s such a crap lawyer he’s trying to hitch a ride on his nephew’s back as an agent.”

*Were you as disappointed as I was that it wasn’t a George Harrison cover? If so, this should help you get over it.

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