This Week in Milford

November 16, 2020

So You’re Saying There’s A Chance?

Filed under: exposition comics, huge earrings, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:44 am

Today we have a conversation between Corina and some of her volleyball teammates. I assumes these are her volleyball teammates. There hasn’t been much done to establish these bit players. There’s one named Becca, I think. But that’s entirely the point of this fall plot. CK is the object of fascination for our two rival QBs and then the volleyball team became a stupid bargaining chip in their game to crack through the CK barrier. So it’s no surprise that the two teammates are sulking about the state of Mudlark football.

Milford has two losses in the Valley Conference. But one of our disposable volleyball players is aware of a scenario for Milford to get the conference title. It’s probably one of those scenarios where two other teams have to tie or something. Now I remember that volleyball player’s name! It’s Becca Exposition!

So CK greets this information with an “Okay.” Is that a drawn out “ooookaay” as in and what am I supposed to do with this or is it really a spark of concern (undercut by the casual application of lipstick). My instincts say CK don’t give a toss because Friday nights are for Crazy Eights with mom.

November 11, 2020

In Which Gil Thorp Finally Acknowledges the Existence of a Virus

No, not that virus, though you gotta admit that social distancing would be a plausible rationale for the seating arrangements in the Milford gym. Today we get a view into the inner workings of the Thorpian Stasi in action.

First, Gil walks in on the aftermath of Kaz shooting up on his desk instead of in what looks to be an Aeron chair but is probably a knockoff. How else do you explain that overdeveloped right arm with veins a-poppin’?

Then we catch Gil repeating the story with his chief informant Mimi. That Gil’s players had begun to show up to support Mimi’s team wasn’t enough for her; in her mind, they should have to do it as a unit. No place for players to sit with their friends on the team and to not sit with guys they wouldn’t hang with outside of football. Gil of course buys into that and decides he needs to get to the heart of the matter. How? Not by actually talking to the two guys who are actually at the heart of the matter, but to put two guys on the hot seat who have been the exact opposite of rivals for the past two seasons.

Finally we find out how Gil “squeezed” the intel out of Macy and Roh: via ungloved prostate exams with zero lube. Why is Gil so angry at these two? Did they not drop trou fast enough for him? Chance and Charlie aren’t the droids you’re looking for, Gilberto, and they’re not the ones who are taking sides in this controversy. EDIT: Alert TWIMer Downpuppy has pointed out that the pair getting reamed out by Gil in P3 are in fact the dueling quarterbacks Rappson and Thayer. Once Gil is finished with his unlubed prostate exams, these two will be singing Kumbayah (h/t hitorque) and playing rock paper scissors for first crack at Corinna. Does Gil know that these two have been actively recruiting teammates to take sides against each other? If not, this is Gil’s problem to solve, not the QBs. By calling them out of class and raking them over the coals, Gil will have sown fear, uncertainty and doubt among every Mudlark football player. That won’t win the Valley but it’ll keep the proles in line and, after all, that’s what the Thorps are all about.

October 31, 2020

Corina’s Shakin’, Not Stirred

Boy, Central pretty much sucks at everything this season, don’t they? Too bad we didn’t see how badly they sucked at volleyball. Then again we haven’t seen much more volleyball action than Rapp has – just that one panel about a month ago. We should get to see some more soon, though, since Corina has made that a prerequisite to getting down the base path with her.

That is Corina, isn’t it? The coarsening of her profile in P1 looks like a throwback to Berrill’s style and that’s not her usual mullet she’s wearing, either. Next panel she looks like a completely different person as she has a seizure describing Becca’s performance against Central. Finally all hairs are back in place as Rapp hates to see her leave but loves to watch her go.

Now it’s a matter of time to see which of the dueling QBs shows his face first at a Lady Mudlarks volleyball match. I’ll laugh if it ends up being Leonard Fleming. Heaven knows we need a good laugh right about now. Hope you TWIMers had a fun and safe Halloween, shook one, not stirred one, in Sean Connery’s memory, and remember to turn your clocks back before you turn in tonight.

September 25, 2020

I Thought Only Steve Luhm Handled the Mops in Milford

Hey everybody! Joan Rivers here for robmize. Can we talk?

Seriously, I don’t know what Rapson’s beef is here. The game plan with him under center is no different than the game plan with Thayer under center. What did he expect Gil to do, let him air it out and run up the score? The Mudlarks aren’t Steve Spurrier’s Florida Gators, fuhcripessake. It’s already been established that Milford’s gonna be The Chance and Charlie Show this fall.

Rapp’s probably upset that Gil wasn’t making eye contact with him when he was giving him his marching orders. Wearing mime makeup under your helmet is bound to be a bit disquieting to even the most stoic of coaches, Terry. Then again, he might’ve been taking Gil at his word a bit too literally and is miffed that Gil didn’t let him drive the Milford activity bus back from Oakwood. (Who drives that bus, anyway?)

Terry just needs to relax on the ride home and get ready to see his quarterbacking rival get shot down by Corina at The Bucket. What, you weren’t missing another strip of Corina being a jerk to everyone? Yeah, me neither.

metapost: Like robmize, I will actually be away this weekend too. Hoping Ned, tdrew or maybe even the sorely missed timbuys will step up and take my Saturday post. Okay? Okay!

September 19, 2020

Get Started, Start a Fire

Filed under: Bonfire!, exposition comics, football, Milford Weirdos, Oakwood, Volleyball — teenchy @ 1:02 pm

A bit of revisionist history to start today’s strip. Bonfires before the football season opener are a Milford tradition except when they’re not. As for that “clobbering,” a 14-7 win is hardly Ben Grimm worthy, and there have been years when Oakwood has beaten Milford, most recently in 2018 when Tod Andrews sneakily called time out to negate a blocked field goal. There hasn’t been a Mudlark blowout of the Owls in some time, at least not since 2014. (This is where I place a call to the Milford SID to confirm; billy, you there?)

Good call on Corina’s part, pointing out how girls’ sports take a back seat in Milford. Fight the patriarchy, girl!

Looks like the student body is gonna sacrifice those two dueling dipshits at quarterback to ensure a Mudlark victory. Why else would they be atop some wooden scaffolding? To scope out girls, of course. Which girls? Not Becca Ramirez, she’s old news. What about that little fire hydrant shaped girl? She’s new around here. Let’s see those two losers start another competition – this time, for Corina. Then the sparks should fly.

August 19, 2020

Plan 9 from Town Park Lake

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Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. 

Today we find Corina, Alexa and Phoebe have pushed up their pedal pushers, waded into Town Park Lake, and stumbled into the shooting of a remake of Plan 9 from Outer Space. A perfect backdrop for the backstory of how Corina became so incorrigible. Alexa continues interviewing her replacement as Pheeb’s BFF her hard line of questioning, and quickly finds a crack in Corina’s armor. None of the authority figures in Corina’s younger life listened to her when she tried to tell them something was wrong with mommy, so now Corina won’t listen to any of the authority figures in her current life.

Okay, now that that’s settled, let’s move this plot forward. How deep into a pitcher of Long Island iced tea do you think Gil and True are at the MCC’s 19th hole?

At least Corina didn’t call Alexa Phoebe’s sidekick.

August 15, 2020

You Should Leave Your Hat On

August 14, 2020

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Alexa hasn’t had many opportunities to throw her weight around since graduation; pressing her line of questioning on Corina gives her one. Mama Karenna may not be behind bars after all, since she’s going to “appointments,” but that still doesn’t explain why Corina’s able to call her own shots when it comes to moving to Milford. Emancipated minor? Mom on parole? Wearing a chunky ankle bracelet? Corina’s not giving a straight answer, speaking in metaphors about depression until finally she makes up some story about a hat to break off the conversation.

August 15, 2020

gt08152020

co·mor·bid·i·ty /ˌkōmôrˈbidədē/, n. comorbidity; plural noun: comorbidities; noun: co-morbidity; plural noun: co-morbidities. the simultaneous presence of two chronic diseases or conditions in a patient.

Okay, so the hat wasn’t a red herring. Where did it come from then? We didn’t see it at any time since Wednesday, when first we saw these three at the diner. And where did Alexa go? The depression song and dance might’ve been enough to satisfy her curiosity. Maybe she had to go buy some more stuff for her dorm room. Corina’s not her problem anyway…

… and she sure as hell isn’t Maureen’s problem either. Mo better keep her trap shut else Corina comes back to the diner and lobotomizes her with that pencil.

August 12, 2020

Moving in Mono

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, exposition comics, Gil Thorp, huge earrings, lame jokes — teenchy @ 10:59 am

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Finally Phoebe gets some quality time with her bestie-for-now and Hoosierina-to-be  Alexa and what does she wanna do? Introduce her to Corina, of course.

This is BFF transition planning no doubt. Unless I missed something in the past six months, there’s been no indication that Pheebs is a graduating senior. She’ll need someone to hang with once Alexa has broken away so why not start grooming the new girl in town? Well, there’s this little matter of the new girl’s attitude. She’s decidedly not a team player, and that’s just not The Milford Way. Alexa’s snark isn’t off base in that respect. If (as an alert TWIMer pointed out in yesterpost’s comments) Corina gets stripped of her amateur status for accepting cash from True it’ll be a moot point, albeit one not made until well after Mimi Thorp has hung her hopes of a successful season on Corina’s chest protector.

Despite her ongoing contact with Phoebe Corina seems to be more than a bit of a loner, right down to her choice of moving to Milford. Either Mom’s behind bars or Corina heard about that Tiki Jansen arrangement.

 

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