This Week in Milford

June 9, 2017

Overrated fight

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Fat Guys, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 9:40 am

So it turns out that Gil already is on the case of extinquishing the fire that is Ryan Van Auiken vs his old girlfriend featured on the sign at the baseball game by the girls from his old school. Good for him-  but its still almost mid-June and the kids not only have to finish baseball/softball but graduate already.

His parents describe the incident as non-violent, and are adament about it.  So its great that they completely believe Ryans version of the story. Because no way were they there when it happened, right? And Gil asks them before he asks Ryan about it, even though he has a first-person account of things. Why not ask him first? Oh yeah, he vamoosed. For all that coffee Gil drinks, he’s asleep at the wheel 98 percent of the time. If there was no police report, then Gil should just go back to Milford and tell Dafne to move on and find another story to cover. After she graduates. After she figures out she no longer writes for the Trumpet because she doesnt attend Milford anymore. And so on and so on..

By next week we should be on to lemonade and beach scenes. And golf. Yikes!!


April 11, 2017

We’ll be calling him “The Friendly Brain”


Today the high-rolling Milford School Board veep gets a mashup name from the famed comic and cartoon character and the famed pro wrestling heel manager but one that yields no Google results on its own.  He looks like a slightly paunchy version of Gil, and the trifecta of head bobble, exploding eye and freak hand (missing an amputated sixth digit between index and middle fingers) make him right at home in Milford.

He’s clearly capable of picking up a phone and calling Dr. Pearl who, with that broken right wrist of hers, may have had to put him on speaker.  The good doctor relays his message to Ms. Rizk, who replies with a deft pop culture/product placement zinger of her own.  She may not be much of a journalist, but she knows where she stayed last night.

A couple of cameos to report: the Funkyverse’s Les Moore joins the Milford faculty after having his face slapped for being such a pretentious douche, and an off-camera cameo by Rex Morgan, MD‘s daughter Sarah, who obviously hand-lettered Dr. Pearl’s name plate.

August 20, 2016

Oh Look, Mother Bader Finally Gets a First Name


This plot has gone on so long that everyone’s back in long sleeves again!  At least it’s more appropriate than showing up to a funeral service in softball uniforms. Of course it’s still a funeral – Del’s – and the baseball Mudlarks aren’t here to offer anyone any moral support so much as they’re here to satisfy their collective morbid curiosity.

Mighty magnanimous of Rubin to bestow a first name on Mother Bader at this late date in the arc.  Has the finally fully named Sandra Bader actually stepped away? She still looks trapped within the courtroom pews to me. Speaking of trapped: stay tuned for a week of courtroom exposition leading up to a Labor Day weekend in which someone (anyone?) learns some kind of lesson.

If we’re stuck with courtroom drama for another week, might as well start it off with a laugh. This skit is still memorable for me, if only for the moment when the late Jan Hooks states her occupation.

August 16, 2016

Take Off My Tie Before Tossing The Old Pigskin Around Outdoors In August? That’s Crazy Talk!

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Fat Guys, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 6:17 am


Didn’t we already have a memorial service for Boo? Is True going to put up a roadside marker outside the S Mart?

Bonus challenge: rather than ponder the strip’s primary inanity, name all of the input/output jacks on the side of the Baders’ tv…

August 4, 2016

Tell Ya, We Don’t Like It


You ain’t got no way of ending a plot
I gotta tell you that this story line is shot
You takin’ us on some kind of endless ride
You done this ever since Boo Radley died

Tell us something good
Tell us that you’ll end this, yeah
Tell us something good
Tell us it’s still summer, yeah

Sense of time is what you let slip away
You drag this out like there’s 48 hours to each day
Your problem is that you milked this puppy dry
We’re so bored with this, we don’t even try

Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Tell us that it’s tee time, yeah
Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Bring back Herk the Mauler, yeah

You ain’t got no kind of master plan
All your tales are told from the perspective of a man
You refuse to give us strong leads that are girls
Some of us think you should sit on it and twirl

Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Give Del’s wife a new man, yeah
Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Mimi and the pool boy, yeah

Got no idea how to let True get away
(Got no clue, no, got no clue)
College kickoff is less than a month away
Your problem is you gave us more of him than we could take
Let him go, ship his ass on off to Wake

Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Wrap this story up, yeah
Tell us something good
(tell us tell us tell us)
Ready for some football, yeah

(lather, rinse, repeat)

edit: The tune, for reference.



July 9, 2016

Stay Tuned for The Truman Show

Filed under: big arms, Fat Guys, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad — teenchy @ 9:04 pm


So after Gil gives True the “life is for the living” pep talk, and a month to the day after Boo was declared dead, we have – the funeral? The memorial service? The start of A Very Special Gil Thorp? A pivot to the summer arc?

Kudos to Art for looking trim, for deciphering teenspeak, and for giving a little pep talk of his own. On the other hand, Art’s and Gil’s (and Marjie Ducey’s, and the Mudlark baseball team’s, and…) treatment of True as the Very Specialest Snowflake in Milford is really starting to get old. It’s like he’s turning into Gil Thorp‘s analog to Funky Winkerbean’s Les Moore.

From the Minor Artistic Quibble Dept: I dunno if Whigham does the lettering in addition to the art, but the “R” in “DEAR” in P3 looks too much like a “D” at first glance, which taken literally would send this strip in a whole new direction.

June 11, 2016


Filed under: Fat Guys, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad — teenchy @ 6:41 am


“I love Boo Radley.

And I’d like all of you to love her too.

And tonight, you hit you knees:

Please ask God to love her.”

edit: For our younger readers, the reference.

Did you know today’s strip comes with sound effects? They can be found here, or, if you have the time, here.

Today’s strip kinda puts a dent in my theory that Del Bader is Art Standish with a dye job. Bilocation, perhaps?

June 2, 2016

That First Hit Won’t Come on the Ballfield

I guess checking the B&W and color versions of the strip daily for discrepancies is gonna have to be a thing now. Sheesh, who’s got time for that?



Today’s difference has life-changing potential, depending on how time jumps in the Thorpiverse. Panel two in the color version appears to occur a few seconds later, when Boo has slipped behind the wheel, a/o/t the B&W version, where she appears to grip an air steering wheel.* (C’mon, Whigham, at least Photoshop out the thumb shadow.) Those few seconds could mean the difference between life and a grisly death at the hands of Del Bader… a fate that may await True Standish,  or whoever’s driving the car rushing headlong into Del’s.  If it’s true what they say about your life flashing before your eyes in the moments before death, then Del’s life has been nothing but the rocks at the bottom of a highball glass.

Could that car simply be flashing Del to warn him of a lurking cop up ahead? Or to turn on his headlights? If we check yesterday’s strip (both color and B&W) it looks like Del forgot to turn his on.

060116 - color

I guess only closers can afford cars with auto-on/off lighting.

If that’s supposed to be Boo’s 2008 Jeep Compass, then that’s not an entirely inaccurate depiction of its interior. I can’t imagine its automatic transmission can be left in neutral the way Whigham’s drawn it, however.

Finally, did we ever know that the “S” in Smart stood for “Swifti” before now?** Rubin may have vaguely set Milford in the Midwest, but his head’s in Mississippi. A fine segue into a musical number to bide our time as this slow-motion train car wreck unfolds before our rocks-in-a-highball-glass-filled eyes.


* The changes in yesterday’s and today’s strips both involve removing a teen character using a phone while behind the wheel of a vehicle.  Just a WAG: Whigrub submitted the color versions first, got flak from the syndicate for promoting teen phone use while driving, edited the offending panels, then resubmitted – but not before some outlets had already prepped version one to run in advance. Taking that hypothesis to an extreme, somewhere there must be unedited versions of Luann involving rampant orgies.

** I guess pretty much everyone who’s been reading Gil Thorp since at least 2008 knew it’s for Swifti Mart. My fact-checking and institutional memory, like a Nutboy, is shitty.

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