This Week in Milford

October 8, 2021

I also shrunk

I never heard of someone describe a 3rd place finish as ‘second-best of non-winners’ until now. In other words, I hate my life because Im not the best. Or 2nd best for that matter.

Tevin and Kianna are chatting in the hallway on Monday, and he’s all set to give her a high five for her great weekend activities, and she stops his freak hand cold. Again the plot doesnt really move, as she repeats what we already know– she’s competitive. Really, all the athletes are at a varsity high school level. The gymnastics team Im sure spends a lot of time practicing, and if they dont want to do it bad enough, they wont get that far to make the team. Volleyball, same deal. And it gets even more so in college and, heaven forbid, national team level, where the Olympians are made. Ol Kianna looks like one of those who will only be satisfied with being the best, and that can lead to a lot of heartbreak when, odds are, she wont be.

But she can at least say- Thanks for the compliment, and move on. Nope.

September 25, 2021

Where Were You the Day The Bucket Got Its Liquor License?

teenchy here. Dunno where robmize is. I’ve got a busy afternoon and evening ahead of me so I’m not gonna wait any longer and put up a double post. I’ll be traveling next weekend so hopefully rob, or Ned, or tdrew can cover for me then. Heck, maybe even timbuys could pop back in for a cameo. (Tim, you out there bud? Miss you here in the rotation.) Anyhoo, on with the show.

September 24, 2021

No clue who Chance’s blocker Gordon Achebe is IRL (any relation to the famed author of Things Fall Apart?) but Kimberly Gordon-Achebe is Program Director of the University of Maryland Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Fellowship and consultant of the Programs for Assertive Community Treatment (PACT)-child division.  There was a Gordon Achebe on the team last year, but he looked a little different back then. This year’s Gordon isn’t about picking sides in a QB controversy but more about covering for his triple-threat backfield teammate, Chance Macy.

Chance has been around since 2019 so we really shouldn’t be learning much of anything new about him. He lives with his grandparents; his parents haven’t been in the picture and he doesn’t hold them in high regard. He has (or at least had) anger management issues. He got plenty of exposition during that season while Chet Ballard tried to smear him to win his stepson some playing time and his love.

Heather was in Iowa while all this was happening, so it’s news to her. Maybe she should take that superfluous finger off her temple and use it to Google some of Marjie’s old articles from the past two seasons before she decides it’s news for Star readers. Off to The Bucket for postgame festivities…

September 25, 2021

… and a surprise appearance from Kianna Bello, who apparently had back-to-back sports practices but got to catch the Mudlark football game. Guessing volleyball practice came first; there’s no way Mimi would schedule an event that conflicted with Gil’s! No, Mudlark sports reign supreme, and Mudlark football reigns the supremest. It doesn’t take an Alexa Watson to figure out that Kianna will be dropping gymnastics quicker than you can say “I’ll take my Bucket Daiquiri in a go-cup, please and thank you.”

Passed out face-down in a booth isn’t a good look on a star athlete. Either learn to hold your liquor or stop burning the candle at both ends. All that’s missing from this amusing scene is a puddle of drool coming from Kianna’s mouth.

September 9, 2021

T, Boned

teenchy here pulling emergency backup duty for tdrew. Trying to squeeze this into a full work day so will be brief.

Looks like the Claxtons might be more than just “a two-boring-silver-SUV family.” What’s this purple thing with a trunk that Tevin’s dropping his backpack into? Couldn’t be Doug Guthrie’s bitchin’ ’66 Goat, could it? Can it help him compete with volleyball and gymnastics for Kianna’s attention? Doesn’t look that way.

No clue who the Greek chorus are or what benefit they bring to the strip. Maybe they’re volleyball teammates of Kianna’s making excuses for her behavior. Maybe they’ll earn names before this arc is over.

Time will tell whether it’s male attention or a lack of bandwidth to maintain her skillsets that makes Kianna drop one or the other of her athletic pursuits. Either way, the decision is sure to be made off-panel and told to the readers in the past tense.

Sorry to be so terse. teenchy out.

May 19, 2021

When The Mudlarks Don’t Play, It’s a Slow News Day

Funny how you don’t realize the pleasure you got from little things you did pre-pandemic until you get to do them again. In yhs’s case it was reading periodicals in waiting rooms. If I didn’t have that opportunity earlier this week, I’d have never learned that politician/activist/novelist Stacey Abrams’ mother was a librarian and basically used the library as Stacey’s babysitter (as did, apparently, the author of the article’s parents). Regardless of your political persuasion, you have to acknowledge that library access helped inspire these women to do great things. Who’s to say that access couldn’t do the same for Zane Clark or some other Milford kid?

Maybe not Abel Brito, if that’s where this plot is heading.

Why Ms. Birdie Wampfler feels whatever Zane has up his sleeve is newsworthy, why Marjie knows who’s dating whom at Milford High, or why the Milford Star would act on her anonymous tip is beyond me. Could be that beyond the world of Milford High sports nothing really happens in this tank town and the Star is desperate for news of any kind. Probably it’s more like Rubin feeling the need to drag this story out longer than necessary. All I know is that if Marjie’s co-worker/editor/boss is that worried about messing up her manicure, she should just press the buttons on her phone with the end of a pencil or something.

April 9, 2021

Newbie trumps vet? Bull.

Filed under: ?, female moustache, Mimi Thorp, softball, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 7:31 pm

Just when we thought we were over the Corinna Karenna era in the Thorpoverse, here she comes again, spinning out of the turn….

How the FUCKKKKKK does Gil know who should start on Mimi’s team??? When you’ve been the Starting catcher for 2 years, a position that most players dont want, but the ones that do are worth their weight in gold, — its YOUR job to lose. You dont let some newbie from another school just walk in and take your job.

Then in P2 we have Mimi breaking the news to Brown– and she knows what Mimi will say before she says it. Whaaat?? We have mind readers here? Not only does JB happily agree to the position switch, she already knows Corinna is better then her, without really seeing her play a Game! What does that say about Mimi’s talent evaluation? Hey, I’ve held down this job since I was a Sophomore. How damn good do you have to be in the first place to start on the varsity as a sophomore?? Pretty damn good, my friend. But I’ll gladly turn over the job to basically a rookie at the school and better yet, my fielders glove is in my locker. Wait a minute, how do I have a fielders glove when Ive been catching for 2 years? What kinda shape is that thing in? Probably hard as a rock since its been rotting away since maybe when I was a freshman, and I moonlighted in the outfield. Its gonna need a ton of oil.

Then we have the question of — where will JB play now, and if she starts, who else gets the bad news about a position change? ” Are you kidding? Jocelynn is the best right fielder Ive ever seen! My first basemans mitt is in my locker.”

We just got a pile of fresh manure dumped on us.

And the stench is powerful.

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