Transition into Ambition

Today we learn that The Secret Pelwecki will share linebacking duties with an internationally-known professor of economics (or maybe a bassist) who is currently on leave from his day job. If Pelwecki is to be a right guard/linebacker/fullback/butt of jokes (or, in Milfordese, RG/LB/FB/BOJ!) why is he getting reps at QB? Even more curiously, why is he wearing True Standish’s number? (BTW that link also shows an instance of Gil actually using a fullback.) You might think Gil would’ve retired that jersey and put it in a littlefreelibrary shrine on campus.

So: a bunch of slow receivers too small to play tight end. A small, scrappy, quick quarterback. A couple of decent offensive linemen, one of whom will occasionally line up at fullback. What kind of offense will Gil put on the field this fall? Speculate away.

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The only tight end I care about is Marjies

Well look who’s back – – its Marjie Ducey, who we havent seen since probably last football season. I dont think they played enough baseball to warrant her presence, and I dont feel like combing through the archives to find her talking hoops either. (Need our trusty Thorpian researcher to do that job. Thanks)

How the hell does any football team have so many former tight ends at wide receiver, and no former linebackers? ( Calling Kevin Pelwicki) If thats the case, who’s playing tight end now? Oh yeah, maybe Kevin. And it really makes sense to have your fastest player at QB instead of WR or RB. Can tell by the way Marjie looks at Gil that she thinks he’s full of crap too.

I dont give a crap about Panel 1 by the way;  whenever that storyline wants to blow itself up is fine with me. The Glee Club and football havent been connected since the Brady Bunch with Peter Brady.

One more thing– how does Marjie know whos playing quarterback before Gil tells her? She’s done this before; instead of Gil telling her she tells him about someone. Kind of reverse psychology.

Love her earrings by the way. Marjie we’ve missed you…

In Which We Learn Milford Truly Is 1959 with Cell Phones*

Why else would Rick choose to sing** a song that became a Billboard #1 hit that year?  Why else would he dress like Howdy Doody while he sang it?  Finally, why else would Uncle Gary refer to him as “young nephew”? Who actually speaks that way? Snidely Whiplash? Dishonest John? I’d better stop now lest y’all think I was alive in 1959. (I wasn’t quite yet.)

Uncle Gary gets tiny props for recognizing the minuscule odds of Rick having a football career, but loses those props for not recognizing the minuscule odds of Rick having a singing career.  The fraternal organization lounge singer circuit must be a hot one. Maybe he has a hot tip that a remake of Beyond the Sea is in the works.

*h/t TWIMer Philip, in yesterday’s comments.

**For that matter, why did Rubin feel the need to lampshade that Rick was singing, a/o/t playing some sort of instrument?

A Tent Behind The Elks Club? What Is It?

Rick Soto had such a good day at practice. He stood up and shoved number 30 in a blocking drill or maybe a scrimmage. That’s quality practice. I think Uncle Gary is onto something. Rick Soto has star quality.

Rick Soto is a reluctant star though, as we’ve already seen. He’s also not into the hype and the hysteria surrounding the gridiron. Mike “The Scrapper” Filion (maybe, unless we have another Mike?) can’t seem to get Rick to “fire up” about the “big night”. Who can blame him? What I’m curious about is what happens in the tent behind the Elks Club. Surely that’s not the pep rally/bonfire. There’s never been any indication that the annual bonfire takes place at the Elks Club. Plus, a bonfire in a tent is a bad idea. Are bonfires no longer socially acceptable?

We’ve frequently seen this usage of “fire up” in Gil Thorp:

Isn’t it odd? Instead of inspiring another person or group to get fired up you just issue a command. It probably has the opposite effect. Like when you tell somebody to “calm down” it usually makes them more irritated. When someone says “fire up”, you just go to sleep.

 

Who Have, Mimi, Who Have…

To Rob’s point yesterday, this is perhaps some of the most digressive panel wastage yet.

Questionable point: Is the Chief messing with me? Very difficult to faithfully crop today’s image without a single corner…

Bob Kazinski, Headbanger

No pussyfooting around this fall: Gil Thorp is tackling today’s tough issues head-on. No wannabe junior detectives nosing around about some kid’s mom’s job, no protesters in the bleachers protesting what may or may not have been domestic abuse. Nope, we’re cutting straight to the chase, starting by looking at the life of one of Milford’s earliest concussion victims, Coach Kaz.

Although “accidently [sic*] bang[ing] helmets with Harry Bull” sounds like something that happened not at practice but in the showers afterward, said Mr. Bull is indeed not only a real person but also a school superintendent in Colorado with a lengthy list of career achievements and who attended Northern Colorado, where Kaz allegedly played college football. Whether Harry or Kaz came out on the short end of that collision I leave to the readers.

*BTW Rubin or his letterer needs to invest in a spell checker.

Rickey Don’t Get That Number

Rick(ey) Soto (related to Mario? If so, shouldn’t he have been in the spring arc?) will be our fall protagonist.  He looks to be yet another child of the Thorpiverse growing up in a non-traditional household. (I’m throwing the Recycled Art tag ’cause I could swear we’ve seen that house before. It’s not the Brown-Hiatt split-level but maybe it’s in Gil’s development.) He also looks to be yet another child of the Thorpiverse being pushed in a direction he doesn’t necessarily want to go by a parent/parent figure.  Will Rick(ey) turn out to have a bankable talent, on or off the gridiron? I’d say there’s a slim chance.

The entire fall will turn on the ongoing, David Greene-like conflict between Rick(ey)’s football prowess and whatever talent he turns out to have.  Stick around ’til Friday when Gil says “Rickey, you cannot go to the club!” Any major dude will tell you that’s what’s gonna happen.

Trey Facepalms for Us All

What more need we say?

P1: If Jaquan was a star these past two months would’ve been moot. Not all who wander are lost – except for Rubin, who was lost.

P2: Albrecht Dürer meets Roy Lichtenstein, Whigham style.

P3: Freeze-Frame Ending. If you listen hard enough you can hear the theme from “CHiPs.”  Here are a few more to hold y’all over until Monday.