Dog Days of summer

 

 

 

 

 

Well now we know the reason that Hadley and JC were brought back into our strip existence.. so a guy that should also be in our rear view mirror can go to Milford instead of New Thayer  (hey by the way, whens the last time we saw NT on anyones schedule?)

So now the engaged couple are bouncing around everyones  living room (Coming Soon to a couch near you— High Priced Lawyer and her co-star, Bald Bull! Tickets Now Available!) and as far as I’m concerned, meddling in everyones business. How the hell does Tiki know who either of these characters are who just showed up at his front door? He was in a crib eating Gerber when these two were in high school. Isnt it enough to have dinner with 4 different people in 2 nights, no you have to set up a coffee discussion with some kid who doesnt even know what district he lives in. But he did last year. Some townships are known to re-draw their district lines (or in Chicago they are called precincts) so its oh, possible this could happen, but in real life Tiki would know long before now about this. Because if he changed districts, I’m sure Gils cornerback did too, or his backup fullback who he needs to kick a field goal in Week 4, or some other mope on his bench who will play Saturday Hero one day. But its Tiki Jansen we’re stuck with for this story.

And Hadley.

And… Bald Bull.

Wake me up when September ends…

 

 

 

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Leonard’s Loser

Milford v. Tilden

Out from under the watchful eye of Papa Mudlark Thorp, seven of his fledglings will try to test their wings in a bigger aviary. As luck would have it, their first flight test comes against Samuel J.’s boys. The Dirty Birds know this game’s outcome won’t be decided by the Electoral College, so they’d best spread their wings and get ready for a fight.

As luck would have it, one of Papa Thorp’s little fluffballs is getting kicked out of the nest a wee bit too early. With no sense of direction, tiny Tiki will be doing the Tennessee Bird Walk all the way back to New Thayer. There’s no safety net for this safety, and the Little Smart Pill Machine tells me until he grows some stiffer flight feathers all the Dirty Birds can do is lay a big egg.

Leonard’s Loser: Tiki Jansen

Get me outta here, Percy!

(apologies and tribute to Leonard Postero)

 

Careful With That Pizza, You Could Put Somebody’s Eye Out

Brief observations:

The pizza at Ricozzi’s is nice and stiff. It has dry, yellow cheese. Yes, color is at the mercy of some hacks at the syndicate, so that’s not all on Whigham. (The colorist used Zippy the Pinhead‘s mumu for reference when doing the pizza.)

The colorist is also not sure what to do with Hadley’s hair.

Yes, Hadley wants to do some lawyering while she’s hanging in Milford.

Panel 3 appears to be a scrimmage. Maybe a seven on seven. I don’t think we’ve seen schools competing in scrimmages.

Guess Who’s Thorping to Dinner

I kept wanting to drop the Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner reference in the past but I was really trying to shoehorn it into a plot. This week probably has been the most appropriate time to do it to date, what with Ed Asner V. Baxendale putting potential son-in-law Jaquan through the wringer. Granted Ed’s wringer is as dated as the one grandma had on the washing machine on her back porch, but having gotten a hand stuck in one of those once I can attest that they can do some damage.

Speaking of damage, check out Hadley going all Malory Archer on that glass of wine at Ricozzi’s. Girl’s got some pent-up hostility working there. Don’t check her out as much as Mimi’s checking out Jaquan, though. That would be awkward. Hadley manages to steer the chat toward something Gil’s more comfortable with… sportsball. Here comes the pivot to the tale of Tiki Jansen – the one we’ve all sussed out will be about Hadley doin’ some fierce lawyerin’ to get the Jansens into Trey Davis’ house, open a satellite office of her firm in Milford, and convince the Memphis Grizzlies New Orleans Pelicans Charlotte Hornets team Jaquan plays for to move there as well.

Summer’s in full swing here. Break out your beverage of choice, sit back, relax and see how this all falls out.

Added the Ricozzi’s Pizza tag, will apply it retroactively as time permits.

But Did Milford Beat Tilden?

Remember football?

Pepperidge Farm remembers

But Milford doesn’t

 

“VT P-U”? Is

Valley Tech playing Dover

Boys from Pimento?

 

Rough year for Techies

Old Dominion beat VT

Now it’s Milford’s turn

 

Milford not used to

Being number one for a while

Sign guy broke his wrist

 

Hiawatha James

Remember him from baseball?

Great name but no lines

 

Know what else is an

Uncharacteristic romp?

No Jansen and no Bolek

 

Also no cheap shots

Express or implied

Where’s the burial?

 

 

metapost: Trying to learn to use the new WordPress Gutenberg editor on the fly.  Hope this doesn’t look too wonky.

Rammer Jammer, Gil Can Yammer

Tonight on WDIG

Listen for Marty Moon’s call:

“Injury report:

 

Jansen, Ruffin have

Hyperextended right legs,

Will miss finale”

 

Uniforms are red

Just like the herring: Tiki’s

“Slow sister” problem 

 

Did Rubin forget?

Why even mention her?

Bullies the problem

 

Speaking of bullies:

Why for the love of Pete would

Jansen go back there?

 

New Thayer, where

The bullies go scot free while

Victim has to leave

 

Maybe New Thayer

Is better for special needs

We will never know

 

And what of Bolek?

Thought he’d help analyze film

Team might get better

 

Maybe film useless

When all the coach can do is

Make the kids run laps

 

We can all agree

Plot was stupider than hell

Let’s go shoot some hoops

Will the artist who drew Panel 3 please stand up?

So we hit the reset button on football on…. November 30. Tomorrow is December first. They havent played a game since.. November 16, 2 weeks ago. In that time frame my state played the semifinals and finals of the playoffs and is DONE!! DONE! And these guys are not only wearing their game unis to practice (again!!) they have their helmets on the ground next to them while they stretch. Nobody does that. When your on the field you wear your helmet, and on the sidelines you take it off.

So the dudes from New Thayer decided to call a truce after that scene? Ha. Methinks its just a cover for a sneak attack in the future.

Now— what the hell is with Panel 3?? We have the 10-yard line FIVE YARDS FROM THE GOAL LINE!!! And the end zone looks really skinny, with MILFORD literally taking up the WHOLE DAMN SPACE!!

Holy crap. I mean, how many damn years has this strip been getting drawn, and the clown in charge of drawing it, knowing its a  SPORTS strip, doesnt even draw the field correctly?? How hard is it to draw a football field?? If I was this dudes art teacher, years ago, in high school, and this dude went to my school where my football field was on the damn campus to look at EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN DAY FOR 4 FUCKIN YEARS and he drew this panel in my class, I would not only immediately flunk him, I would force him to eat the paper on which he drew this field, then shove him down the nearest toilet and push the FLUSH lever, and THEN, I would stick my head in a microwave and turn it on high.

Only then would I feel the least bit better.

Nothing further your honor.

Gil’s Next Trick Play: The Tiki Eligible

Kaz can’t conclude that

Tiki eligible, so

Off to the weight room

 

Then while bench pressing

Bet Kaz wasn’t expecting

Gil to teabag him

 

There’s no clear-cut call

On eligibility

To keep us guessing

 

Gil Thorp logic:

“What would our opponents think?”

They don’t have to know

 

No Urban Meyer

More like Kirby Not-so-Smart

Or next Petrino

 

Andre Ruffin sez:

“Wish you were playing tonight.”

“The jury’s still out.”

 

Benched Tiki again?

Didn’t even dress him out?

Why did he show up?

 

Surely Marty Moon

Has noticed. He should be on

This like white on rice

 

Through all this shitshow

Where’s the movie buff punter?

Off watching game film?

 

Is he reviewing

This travesty of a plot?

Give it the finger