This Week in Milford

May 7, 2021

High 10

Filed under: freak hands, High Five Fail, Miserable characters — robmize2013 @ 8:35 pm

As if we didnt both know this was coming and have to hear it twice since Katy said it yesterday, Mr. Brito is running for that opening on the library board. I have no idea why they need an election for this, but methinks its a lot like the other offices we vote for in March, like mosquito abatement commisioner, and a lot of times they are running uncontested. I know local politics is where its at for most people, and they always say the most important elections are for things like this, that if you want things done in your municipality the way you want them done, then get involved in your local government,…. but… jesus. The last thing we need is for this guy to win this position, and to spread his poisonous attitude even further, not only making our lives more miserable by his being in it, but the rest of the library board, who have no idea that their future boardmate is the equivalent of having a wad of gum stuck to the bottom of each and every one of their shoes, and having no way of removing it, and the gum multiplying every day, until they literally are consumed like quicksand and sink into that black hole that we know too well that is filled with all those miserable characters of Milford past…

Excuse me while I stick my head in a microwave and turn it on high.

April 23, 2021

Zane is not Abel

Filed under: freak hands, huge earrings, Pissy faced minor character — robmize2013 @ 11:59 am

So we find out at dinner that Zanes family cant afford cable. I digress…

In the summer of 1983 I went off to college and discovered cable for the first time, in my dorm room. So cool to watch tv without worrying about the antenna being juuuust so to optimize the picture. Plus I saw all those games I couldnt see before. Then when I got home from college later in the fall, I saw this black box on top of the TV downstairs. We had bought cable. Just on 1 TV. So I figured out that the tv had to be left on Channel 3 all the time if you wanted a picture, and all others would produce static. We also purchased HBO and Showtime so we could watch some movies. Back then of course, cable consisted of about 25 channels, but it was still way more then before, and I loved it. Im pretty sure we had the same box for 14 years. We actually ran the antenna into my bedroom so I could get a better signal on my Tv, but it was only regular channels there. The monthly cost was around $35.

Of course when we moved 14 years later we bought Jones Intercable, which became Comcast, and as cable technology improved so did the number of channels, and the cost. There were so many channels to watch movies that we dropped HBO and Showtime (which now have their own tier of channels). Satellite came along and offered their own cheaper alternatives, and finally after 34 years I dropped cable and switched to satellite. At the end the monthly cable bill was around $180, which included internet service. My promo period has since ended, but Im happy with what I have.

It was never something we couldnt afford, as we made sure we werent paying for the largest packages that we didnt need. But there are plenty of people that have cut the cord lately, as several alternatives besides sattelite have come up, like Hulu, Youtube TV, etc. So Zane has plenty of company in that regard.

So the point of this strip today is the library is useful for some people, and Abel should respect that. As far as 3 kids sharing 1 outdated PC, hey kid, in my day we had Zero PC’s. And we managed. We used something called an encyclopedia.

I’m sure the next step will be for Abel to join the library board. More chaos will ensue as he votes to cut down the number of PC’s resulting in Zane not having one when he needs one down the road.

I love Mrs. Britos earrings but really, how come everyone has the same style? Huge black and round. She also has changed her hair color already, from yellow to brown. Obviously someone didnt tell Whigham they use color in GoComics now.

And my god Zane– comb your hair before you come to the table. He looks like he just rolled outa bed.

April 16, 2021

From right field to blown save

Filed under: actual action, baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon — robmize2013 @ 8:12 pm

And we get introduced to the starting lineup which includes RuhRoh, Munch, Macy, and Zane. Half the guys played football for chrissake. Same bums. Its like nobody else can play sports except the same guys. By senior year theyve played 12 seasons. No wonder Zane took a couple years off.

Of course the ball finds Zane just as Marty is announcing his name.

No baseball cap for Gil the manager? And only 4 innings for your ace workhorse, even though its only opening day? I know they play at least 7 innings, so the bullpen needs 3 innings; plenty of room for 2nd guessing if they blow this lead, especially if Gil chooses the right fielder.

And I predict thats what will happen.

March 31, 2021

The View from Mount Gilmore

Looking across Gil’s massive schnozz is giving me a huge North by Northwest vibe.

So are the angles of the prairie style window behind his head in P3.

Nothing like starting your day with a Saul Bass title sequence, is there?

Now, about Zane Clark. There are many, but which one is within Rubin’s circle of friends? Can we expect him to comment here this spring? How can we start piecing together his backstory? Will it be as big a red herring as Doug Guthrie’s just was?

Oh, all right. Let’s take a stab. He’s a senior, so most likely this is a one-and-done arc for him. His home life has apparently kept him from coming out for baseball until now, or maybe he came out for baseball before and his home life prevented him from coming out for baseball again until now. Maybe someone in the home had a substance abuse problem, like Aaaaron Aaaagard’s mom. Maybe there was an unplanned addition to the family, like Jaxxxxon Kiser. Or maybe someone got blowtop mad, like Chance Macy. In any event, prepare to be underwhelmed.

March 15, 2021

Everybody Loves A Cool Ride

Filed under: freak hands, Pointy Fingers — nedryerson @ 6:35 am

It’s all coming together nicely. Vic has a van and at least four members of the Milford basketball team needed a lift to the prom. How nice. Vic has four or more dates to the prom. That’ll show that snooty Tessi! How dare she flirt with Vic to get him to pull P.A. duty at basketball games and then ghost him! The rest of the team (or at least four of them) have Vic’s back and their in for a sweet ass prom experience in a grandpa van. What a miraculous place Milford is!

Say, is Corina one of the ones going to the prom with Vic? Is she #13? I wonder if she’s down for this group outing as she’s the one who had to tell Vic about Tessi’s true feelings about Vic’s van (and that Tessi probably feels the same way about Vic, but that’s always been implied but never explicitly revealed). I think I’ll back away from further Corina commentary as I can’t top what happens in the comment section.

Pointy girl in Panel 2 is weirding me out because she’s trying to point with either her thumb or an extra finger.

March 10, 2021

Done and Dusted? Not Yet

Filed under: anatomically implausible, basketball, Coffee Cantina, freak hands — teenchy @ 11:50 am

Between the four members of our TWIM blogger rotation and our astute readers, we’ve dissected the character of Corina Karenna six ways from Sunday. Suffice it to say that any sympathy the hive mind may have had for her once her backstory was revealed during the spring and summer 2020 arcs dissipated in the fall as quickly as the Nats’ hopes of defending their 2019 World Series title. By painting her as some kind of voice of unvarnished truth, Rubin has also painted a corner for her in which she fits nicely: as the bearer of unvarnished truths no one else at Milford High would rather deliver. Need someone to tell somebody something they need to hear ’cause you don’t have the guts to tell them yourself? Go get Corina! She lives to burst people’s bubbles and besides, no one likes her anyway!

Having been so anointed, Corina is now compelled to report back to the troops on the outcome of her little mission. Is this happening at practice, or during a game? In either case, wouldn’t Tessi be there too? Rubin, if you’re reading this (and we’re already getting strong hints that you are), please let this devolve into the kind of hair-pulling slapfest of a catfight the readership has been longing for for some time. We’d even be okay with you assigning seconds. That limp-wristed girl down in front with the hand as long as her forearm would be a good stand-in.

Quick cut to the Coffee Cantina and a really awkward POV across the bow of an anonymous coffee drinker to the “he said” side of this subplot. Doug and Vic agree on the weakness of Tessi’s blowoff but then Doug throws Vic the hanging curveball (wait, wrong season, wrong sports metaphor; how about “gives Vic the lane for an easy lay-up”?). Vic’s reply will likely fall along the lines of “Tessi’s the first girl to actually speak to me,” at which point Doug will either point out either (a) there are other fish in the sea or (b) why not just ask someone who’s not interested in girls but has expressed an interest in your van? At that point Doug’s and Vic’s eyes will lock over a steaming hot latte and we’ll get a plot twist no one saw coming.

February 24, 2021

Oh Godleski, Not This Again!

Hey look, some hoops action that doesn’t involve injury, unless you count the bruises the ball’s getting being clanked off the rim. No Muench and a sluggish Guthrie mean the Mudlarks are struggling until Mark Godleski puts one in, then catches fire after Vic eggs him on. Oh my! George Takei‘s not gonna be too happy with Vic’s second Bermanism (Doucetteism?) as Mark hits the no-look fadeaway jumper. Will the next basket be made by Mark “look at those” Godles”(s) heathens making the horns at me behind Vic’s back” ki?

I’m getting the sense here that the Tilden game, while not making or breaking the Mudlarks’ season (they’re not contending for the Valley, or else we’d have heard about it by now), may be dispositive of several characters’ futures. Vic’s gonna Vic and a future calling celebrity softball games awaits him. Muench will play at least another season of baseball as he’s the current version of Paul Beaudry. As for Guthrie, it will be time for him to fish or cut bait between hoops and wheels. He hurts the Mudlarks more than helps them, so maybe he’s best cut out for the garage. Still you’d think if all that time with his tailbone two inches from the ground was propelling his racing career forward we’d have heard about it by now. Doug should ask Corina if Valley Mod has any automotive technician programs and think about transferring there.

February 19, 2021

Oh for chrissakes let it go already!

Filed under: freak hands, shadow figures, talking hand — robmize2013 @ 8:25 pm

The plot is now spinning its wheels as if it were stuck in the snow we’ve gotten over the past month. I get home from Muskegon Feb 1 and there’s a foot on the ground. Then last Monday we get 17 inches more. A reporter on the radio said his table in the yard had 35 inches of snow on it. Sheesh, if I stood on top of the snow piles at the bottom of my driveway I could see the top of my roof. My neighbors have 2 grills and furniture on their deck, and theyre all loaded with snow. Roofs are collapsing every day out here, and I’m praying one of those huge icicles doesnt slice me in half when I walk under em delivering packages to houses. The business strip mall I service is like an ice rink with inumerable hazards on the ground and above.At least the parking lot is clean. Ive got so much salt on the bottom of my shoes I could fill my shaker in the kitchen. My car was so dirty last week I couldnt find it in the parking lot at the grocery store. Hasnt been purple in a while. I went to the car wash and came out driving a block of ice on wheels.

And did I mention we hardly had anything in December and January? Ah, winter in the Midwest.

The 2 guys are engaged in a discussion connected to being late because the cop stopped him and yada yada yada. Yeah everything happens for a reason. But nothing has happened in a week in this plot, and that cop basically stopped Doug twice, and wasted Both of their time in the process. Is Tom on crutches? For a mild sprain? I’d say anything mild you just walk it off and limp around for a day or 2. I never once needed them and I’m sure I sprained my ankles half a dozen times here and there. So Im calling bullshit on the diagnosis.

And shouldnt Doug be ahead of Tom, holding the door for HIM, instead of vice versa? When anyone figures that out, let me know.

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