This Week in Milford

March 17, 2017

Downwardly mobile in what way?

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, freak hands, Gil Thorp, lessons learned, Marjie Ducey — robmize2013 @ 6:01 pm

Well gang, its back to black and white for the moment as I cant copy the Seattle Times strip for some odd reason. Sorry – I know you all miss that blue hair!

So Aaron finds Ma’s pills in her hiding place and reveals her to be a pathological liar as well as a drug abuser. I suppose the pills maybe help her to stay awake for long hours or whatever, but still no excuse to sacrifice that for her sons well-being.

Of course, she could ask Gil the same question in a way – his idea of coaching is to let someone else do all the work for free until the shit finally hits the fan, then he hastily cleans up all the months-old stench left behind from his own neglect of his team(s).

Again we waste all winter with this one issue and the girls team has been left invisible with nary a Hadley V. Baxendale around to stir up some more interesting trouble.

Finally – why does Mom need her glasses on her head sitting at home?  Cant anyone in this strip who wears glasses wear them ON THEIR FACE?? Only exception is of course Marjie Ducey; but everyone else feels the need to show off their frames as a head ornament.

 

 

 

 

 

March 8, 2017

Wait, Was Ken Supposed To Be Holmes?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, freak hands, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 7:11 am

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Panel one: Ken ‘Colombo’ Brown looks like he’s had just about enough of this.

Panel two: Mike ‘Hercule Poirot’ Granger is not at all happy about that awkward touch on his shoulder by what appears to be the hand of god.

Panel three: I say, with his sneer and peek a boo bang thing going on, AAAA is being revealed as the true villain here. As the saying goes, eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is likely going to make more sense than the latest plot twist in Gil Thorp.

March 4, 2017

You’re Floored? I thought you were Gil Thorp!

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It was once suggested that the caption “Christ, what an asshole.” works with every New Yorker cartoon†. It’s also been suggested that “What a misunderstanding!” and “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.” can also be used as universal New Yorker cartoon captions. There have been even ruder universal captions that I won’t link to directly but you can find them via this link.

The first universal caption immediately sprang to mind when I looked at today’s strip. Gil sure looks like he’s trying to stifle a laugh behind his hand as he listens to the family Aagard’s tale of woe. (Semantics question: when a person confesses to something, doesn’t that mean they’re making an admission of something about themselves they would otherwise have kept hidden? Isn’t Aaron simply diming out his mom here?) A subtle twist of the eyebrows would’ve gone a long way here.

Now that Tina Aagard’s dirty laundry has been hung out, it’ll be interesting to see who Gil brings in to help make things better for the Aagards. A doctor? For all we know, a doctor may be enabling mom’s habit. Social Services? The League of Women Voters? The Illinois National Guard? No matter, I suspect we’ll see this scene play out at Schloss Thorp, Big Ken Brown’s House of Making Things Happen and other Milford abodes in the coming week.

†No offense or shock value intended on my part.

March 2, 2017

“it’s not just a mint, it’s an oxycodone”

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“My mom’s drugs. Thalidomide, to be specific. You see, Coach, Mom has leprosy. That’s why she works from home and in the back office of that seedy old hardware store – she doesn’t want to be seen. That’s also why she doesn’t come to our games.

“She was prescribed thalidomide to treat some of its side effects. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be pregnant when she took it, or become pregnant, but she did anyway.  Now here I am, with my left hand attached to my shoulder like a flipper. Why else do you think I can’t hit the boards the way you want?”

Okay, you tell me whose hand that is in P1 then. Thing from The Addams Family in his recurring role as co-interrogator with smug-faced Gil?

“Aaron, those are Tic Tacs. She got ’em from Bobby Howry down at the MILFORD RECREATION CENTER.”

What a ham-handed way to work a current health crisis into the strip. And to think we could’ve had a Lady Mudlarks story arc running in parallel to this. Just as well; Rubin only had to introduce one character to fail the Bechdel Test this go ’round.

February 25, 2017

Marginally Adequate, Unlike This Plot

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Good grief, now Rubin’s really phoning it in. So tempted to do the same but you all have been pretty kind to me since my return so, gentle readers, I must make the effort. I do appreciate the rabbit hole of old candy bar ads yesterday. I don’t remember Chocolatey Pay Days very well, but Pay Days themselves were pretty popular where I grew up. Then again I grew up in a part of the country where people were wont to throw salted peanuts in a bottle of Coke or Pepsi so there’s that.

It would be nice if “marginally adequate” was defined, especially given that no other Mudlark’s stats have been mentioned. It would be “marginally adequate” to tell us who Milford’s opponents were and the game result, but I guess if your only goal is to show us that a couple of nosy parker players have turned their coach into a nosy parker then, hey, mission accomplished. Also, mighty nice of Gil and Mimi to leave the house to get their drink on once in a while. No probs hiding a flask in the jacket pocket to sneak into the Coffee Cantina.

My highlight of the day: back dimples on raver at P1, lower left. She’s gone all Mardi Gras in her party bra on us. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

February 23, 2017

Nuttier than Nutboys

Filed under: basketball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos — teenchy @ 7:52 am

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What’s with this product placement? And here I thought Nutboys were the official candy bar of Gil Thorp.

I suppose the conclusion Rubin’s trying to lead us to is that Quadruple A sandbags unless Mom’s getting paid the next day, and the family Aagard banks something out of that arrangement. I’m starting to reach the conclusion that Ken and Mike are turning into the winter Milford power couple. I’m also starting to reach the conclusion that the thing Ken Brown makes happen is gossip, rampant speculation, and locker room dissent. Way to be a team player, Big Ken.

A thought on yesterday’s strip: Did anyone else hope for a Kenzie Hanley cameo when reference was made to “a linebacker in short pants”?  For that matter, where has all the Bacon gone? Wasn’t he still an underclassman last year? Did he drop out of Milford and follow Kenzie and USA Women’s Rubgy around the country? That would’ve made for a more compelling story arc than this dreck.

February 18, 2017

Ain’t No Answer in Me

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As expected, today’s installment reveals nothing except a potential physiological cause for Aaron’s inconsistent play: his horrible, horrible hip dysplasia.

What else to highlight? EES from some Milford rando, the usual shiny floors and Prairie Style windows, a couple other Milford randos shrinking back in fear from Raging Aaron? I’m going for Ken Brown’s nasty Gillette Fusion cut while maintaining his sideburns. Y’know, I’d kinda like to examine what Rubin’s done with Big Ken’s character over the past couple of seasons but I think that could get touchy. I think for now we can all agree that he’s been given feet of clay.

Post title came to me before anything else this morning. Rather than the more obvious invitation of comparisons between Gwen’s cover and the original, I thought of a more confrontational response.

February 16, 2017

McShane’s, Come Back!

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Pitchers and catchers reporting this week, so I reckon it’s time to move this wagon train along.

Gil does what Gil perhaps should’ve done already once Brown and Granger started snooping around Aaron’s personal life. Why this couldn’t be accomplished with a phone call is beyond me. My money’s on Gil wanting to see the poor side of town as a reminder of what might happen to him if the Milford School Board ever truly gets wind of his coaching abilities.

In any case we see that McShane’s Hardware is kinda run down and Tina Aagard keeps the books there. Though we don’t learn details, Tina of course thinks Aaron did something wrong and the sparks begin to fly. Tomorrow* we’ll learn that Aaltruistic Aaron’s performance is all a function of his worry about his overworked, underemployed mom and the guilt rays will emanate from Tina’s forehead. After that she’ll be ready to come back to the mind-numbing number crunching at McShane’s.

Way to sow the seeds of domestic discord, Gil. Now, can somebody help me roll the batting cage out to the field?

*or the next day, or the next day, or the next day…

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