This Week in Milford

October 25, 2016

Forget It, Hakeem. It’s Tank Town.


Wait, why is Kaz addressing Hakeem mid-conversation with Gil? This would be an otherwise boring exposition strip but for that non sequitur.

Am I missing something?

Edited to add: YES! I totally missed that it was Hakeem in panel three of yesterday’s strip. Welp, now that this particular mystery has been solved, I’ll go on about my day and pretend this never happened.

October 19, 2016

I, For One, Refuse To Believe That Gil’s Flattop Would Wilt In Any But The Most Cataclysmic Deluge

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon — timbuys @ 7:36 am


Anyone out there familiar with protocols for calling off a game? I would think that if you’re waiting until you see lightning, you’re waiting too long. I do kind of like the notion of Marty losing his vintage 2008 MacBook to a lightning strike though… Also, I kind of like the fact that Marty refers to PUB as home.

October 10, 2016

Who’s Snapping?

Filed under: freak hands — nedryerson @ 5:07 am


Heather Burns’ Quarterback Camp continues and Heather’s hands do the talking! Now, that’s freaky!

We find out that Heather inherited her mastery of quarterbacking mechanics from her Dad. She literally inherited it according to her explanation to Moose Pelwecki. I know it because my Dad knows it. That’s really not really how knowledge works, Heather. Certainly, Heather is implying that her Dad taught her these skills and clearly she learned quarterbacking fundamentals in a very formalized manner. We’ll all sit and wonder why until the next installment.

October 8, 2016

Far Hipsters


The technique of aiming for the runner’s far hip with a handoff is widely accepted; hey, if it was good enough for Bud Wilkinson it’s good enough for me.  I expect that Heather Burns can read as well as any Milfordian (especially since all those little free libraries have been springing up around town) but I expect even more some sort of backstory/exposition about her quarterback coaching skills, and sooner* than later.

Those exploding fingers on The Secret Pelwecki’s near hip: sign of a romantic spark or something Rick Scott will have to tape up and splint on Monday? On that note, musical inspiration for today:

metapost: If you are or have been in the path of Hurricane Matthew, give us a shout out and let us know you’re okay. You’ll recall from my Christmas 2015 metapost that I’ve spent some time in Charleston and have friends and family there and so have spent the bulk of the day trying to keep tabs on them. I’ve not heard from Mr. Bakst, although he was rumored to have been last seen with The Gray Man of Pawley’s Island.

*See what I did there?

October 6, 2016

Same Look, Different Results


I was disappointed to learn that the Sulphur Tors aren’t named for Tor Johnson but is short for “(Golden) Tornados.” How cool would it have been to see the Sulphur fans turn out in Tor Johnson masks?

The Tors also wear dark jerseys at home. Hell of a road trip from the Great Lakes down practically to the Gulf of Mexico. If  the “later” when the team arrives at The Bucket is the same night of the game then the Mudlarks must’ve taken a chartered jet back home. Maybe Wildcat Maris and the booster club got a multi-year deal after Gil & co. lucked into the state title season before last, and couldn’t back out of it after last season’s Holly Dobbs-orchestrated clinker.

Did Marty make the trip south or is he doing a recreation from his crate? Is he mentally willing the ball into Max Ortiz’s hands via his pose, or is he channeling his inner Rooster Cogburn? And how about that puny souvenir football Max hauled in for the insurance score? If they use balls that small during game situations, maybe The Secret Pelwecki won’t have so much trouble handing them off. Let’s hope Heather Burns, The Quarterback Whisperer, has a supply on hand in the morning.

September 29, 2016

Beef on (Pel)weck(i)


I don’t recall seeing the panel where The Secret Pelwecki told Gil he owed him a shot at QB just because he caused the fumble that gave the Mudlarks a shot to win the Oakwood game. I’m not gonna even try to come up with an analogy for that logic.

If Gil only knew that the new assistant trainer fancies herself The Quarterback Whisperer. He could let her work her magic on Kevin and help him realize his potential to come up big when it’s least expected. Gil needs to realize that his team’s winning the state championship two seasons ago rested entirely on the fluke of Art Standish finding a job in the Valley and Art’s son feeling most comfortable under Gil’s laissez-faire guidance. Maybe the fluke (or is that flake?) that is Pelwecki can lead his team back to the playdowns.

Speaking of flukes, as I write Wake Forest is 4-0!

metapost: I’m going to be traveling on Saturday morning and would be grateful if one of my fellow bloggers could step in for me. If not, it’ll be late in the day before I get a chance to post. Okay? Okay!

September 28, 2016

He’s Asking, Well, He’s Asking What We’re All Asking…

Filed under: Coach Kaz, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Pantheon of Hair — timbuys @ 7:35 am


I’m trying to get a read on the emotions going through Dory’s mind as he dialogues with The Secret Pelwecki. It seems like a mix of incredulity and contempt with a very strong overtone of panic as he realizes that he’s sitting next to the latest Milfordian boy to succumb to delusions of tank town grandeur.

I was so taken by following The Sec-Pel’s train of thought, that I almost didn’t notice that he was making this pitch to Gil and Kaz in panel two. Gil looks like he’s about to fall over backwards drunk while Kaz is reminiscing about his bouncer days as he flexes intimidatingly in an attempt to shoo Kevin away.

Meanwhile, in panel three… Uh, hey, let’s all just pretend panel three didn’t happen.


September 22, 2016

Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can’t, Coach for Gil for Free


The Secret Pelwecki’s Other Ball just dropped from the arm of the Oakwood running back, giving the Mudlarks’ sputtering offense a shot at getting back in the game. Leading with his head helped Kevin jar the ball loose, but I’m sure that’s not the way Gil wants to see his quarterback use his head.

Speaking of quarterbacks, new assistant trainer Heather Burns has her own opinions about Milford’s. Could it be that the mediocre soccer player doesn’t want to use Rick Scott to sidle her way to becoming the Mudlarks’ placekicker, but to become their quarterbacks coach? Wasn’t one Bobby Howry enough this decade? Or could it be that she actually wants to become the quarterback herself?  By the way, whatever happened to Jarrod Hale?

Pantheon of Hair Dept.: That bowl cut with the keyhole bangs that Whigham is so fond of drawing and that would not look out of place in an Our Gang Comedy.

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